Chapter 7 – Stop My Heart

I should've held you longer in my arms,

And catch you always by my side,

Now every time I think of you and I,

I wish I could turn back the time,

Back when you were mine.

Daryl Ong – Stop My Heart

Eunbi drove Sakura home after work and stopped by her room. Sakura then asked Yena to do laundry with Juri so they have the room all to themselves. Yena was so happy to see them together again, she was gladly leaving.

They sat together at the small dining table in the middle of the room. Sakura made some oyakudon for Eunbi and they have dinner together. Eunbi was pleased with Sakura’s cooking skills and asked for the recipe. But Sakura refused to give her, and insisted to cook for her every time she wants to eat it. Sakura then took out some snacks to eat.

“What is this?” Eunbi asked at a foreign looking food.

“Ah, it’s umeboshi, my favourite food in the world!”

“What’s an umeboshi?”

“It’s pickled plum. This one was made by my grandmother, try one. It’s so good.”

Eunbi took a small piece and put it in . Her expression turned sour immediately. She can’t even close .

Sakura broke out laughing seeing her funny reaction and handed her a napkin. Eunbi took it out from .

“I’m sorry Sakura’s grandmother, but I can’t eat that, it’s too strong for my Korean taste buds.”

Sakura grinned, “I knew it. Most Korean I met don’t like it too.”

But then she suddenly remembered how Irene used to love it. Such a random memory.

“But you have to get used to it because you’re dating me,” she added jokingly.

Eunbi sighed, “I’ll try.”

Anything for Sakura.

**

They sat together on Sakura’s bed after dinner, just enjoying each other’s company. They lean their back against the wall, and Sakura put her arms around Eunbi’s waist, while the older girl rested her head on her right shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Sakura said for the nth time.

Eunbi looked up and met Sakura’s gaze. She leaned forward to give her a little peck on her lips.

“It’s okay, Kkura-ya,” she said.

“I promise I won’t suspect you anymore. I promise to not believe the rumors anymore,” she muttered.

Eunbi ignored her and took Sakura’s hand in hers. She looked at their couple rings.

“I really like the rings, where did you made these?” Eunbi asked, as she was admiring her ring.

“Level 6.”

Eunbi’s eyes widen, “You used office resource for this?!”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Kwon. It’s the only place I could think of,” Sakura replied apologetically.

Eunbi chuckled and patted Sakura’s head lovingly, “You shouldn’t use office resource for personal use.”

“Sorry,” Sakura muttered.

“Do you really have to go to Jeju?” Eunbi suddenly asked.

“Hmm, I don’t want to go,” Sakura replied.

“Can I not go? Can you ask Ms. Irene not to take me with her?” she asked.

Eunbi looked at Sakura and sighed, “Irene is so resolute in taking you away from me. What should I do?”

Sakura gulped. That does sounds like it means something else.

“Can’t you come along?” Sakura asked.

“Can I fit in the bag?”

Sakura laughed, “Hmm, I don’t think so.”

Eunbi slapped Sakura’s arm playfully. The younger girl laughed.

“Unnie, there is something you should know,” her tone suddenly turned serious.

She sits up straight and Eunbi does the same. Eunbi looked at her, curious.

Sakura bit her lip, hesitating. She wonders how much she should reveal.

“What is it?”

“I just want to be completely honest with you right now, unnie. Is that okay?” Sakura asked.

Eunbi was nervous but she still smiled, “You can tell me anything, and I won’t judge you.”

“Promise? You promised not to get mad after I tell you this?”

Eunbi nodded, “I promise.”

Sakura took a deep breath.

“Well, you’re right.”

“Ms. Irene and I weren’t just student-professor.”

Eunbi gulped. Here we go.

“We dated for a while. I was 20 years old when we start dating, and she was 27.”

Eunbi had seen it coming. But hearing it from Sakura’s mouth feels surreal.

“Okay, so why didn’t you tell me about it before?” she asked, calmly.

“I was so shocked to know that she’s your sister. And after learning about your relationship with her, I really didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to think that you’re second best or something like that, just because I dated her first.”

“Was she, your first love?”

Sakura hesitated, “Y-Yes. But does it matter?”

“I mean, if I met you first before meeting her, you could be my first love. It was all timing. First or second doesn’t matter,” she added.

“How long did you two date?” Eunbi asked.

“I knew her for a year before we start dating. We officially date for about 3 months.”

Eunbi tries hard to keep her cool, but her imagination runs wild.

“So, she was your first love, which means she’s your first kiss, and also your first time-

Sakura sighed, “Stop it, unnie.”

“This is why it’s hard to talk to you about this. I don’t want you to compare yourself to her. Plus, she and I broke up in a really bad way, she tricked me and made me think that I was the only one while she was already engaged to some rich guy.”

“But she called off the engagement and came back to Korea. I think she still have feelings for you,” Eunbi said.

Sakura didn’t know what to say.

“That’s why she put you in Team 3, closer to her,” Eunbi added.

Sakura shrugged, “Well, I don’t know why she did that either.”

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Eunbi asked, worried.

“Unnie, why are you asking me that?”

“Is that why you can’t tell me that you love me?”

Sakura sighed again.

Eunbi was panicked, “Just tell me honestly, Sakura. You promised me to be honest.”

“Do you still love her?”

Sakura sighed, “I-I don’t.”

Eunbi shook her head, “Oh my god, you still love her.”

“No, unnie! I don’t! It’s just that I never really get to end things properly with her. I just want to talk to her one more time. And end this.”

Eunbi looked down, speechless.

“That’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t want you to have the wrong idea.”

“It was a bad breakup, and leaving her left me with a scar that took time to heal. I never even thought I’d opened my heart to you, but it happened.”

“For the first time since her, I felt like I could be loved again, and it means a lot to me.”

Eunbi kept silent.

“You mean a lot to me, Kwon Eunbi,” Sakura said.

Sakura reached forward and caressed Eunbi’s right cheek gently. Her eyes darts over to her lips. She moved closer and pressed her lips onto her girlfriend, it was a long sweet kiss. When they parted, their eyes were still on each other.

“Baby, why don’t you stay here tonight?” Sakura asked, almost whispering.

Eunbi raised an eyebrow, “Huh?”

“I’ll ask Yena to sleep elsewhere and have the room to ourselves.”

Eunbi smiled and moved away from Sakura.

“Kkura-ya,” she called.

The younger girl looked at her, curious.

“No,” she replied, short.

“Why? Are you still mad at me?”

Eunbi shook her head. She cupped Sakura’s face that was staring at her with her large round eyes, filled with anticipation.

“If you want me to give you everything, my body and my all, then you have to give me your everything too.”

“I want your heart, Sakura.”

“Figure out where your heart lies first. Is your love for me, or is it still for her?”

“When you are sure of how you feel, come to me and tell me that you love me.”

Sakura nodded, “I’ll end it properly and see you once I got back from Jeju.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

**

That Saturday morning Eunbi sends Sakura to the airport for her Jeju trip. She helped her with her luggage and walked her to the airport entrance.

“I can’t wait to get this over with and come home to you,” Sakura said.

Eunbi smiled, “I’ll wait for you. All of you.”

“I want your heart too, unnie.”

“But you already have mine.”

Sakura looked at her chest, “I’m talking about the visible ‘heart’-

Eunbi smacked her girlfriend’s arm, “There you go again, ert!”

“I want it so bad. And I’m just being honest,” Sakura replied with a naughty smirk.

Eunbi had turned red, “Th-Then you shall have it. And a lot more. That, if you’ve made up your mind.”

Sakura wrapped her arms around Eunbi’s waist tightly and looked at her closely.

“Actually I’ve already made up my mind, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

Eunbi blushed. She looked at Sakura’s lips and they moved their heads closer until their lips found each other. They didn’t mind kissing in the midst of bustling people at the airport. They were in their own world.

“Ah I knew it!” a voice suddenly said.

They both turned towards the voice and saw Hyewon staring at them with a pure dissatisfaction in her face.

They both moved away from each other. They just got caught.

Eunbi cleared , “Ah, Hyewon-

“I knew something was off when Sakura always spends a significant amount of time with you in the office, with the blinds closed and the door locked!” she said, angry.

“Sakura, how could you do this to me.”

Sakura gasped, “What did I do?”

“Here I am thinking I have a chance with you, but then you go behind my back and date Kwon Eunbi!”

“Ehem, excuse me, ‘Kwon Eunbi’? Hey I am still your superior!”

“Shut up Kwon Eunbi.”

“Yah Kang Hyewon!”

“I mean how can I compete if you’re dating Kwon Eunbi? There is no way I could win against Kwon Eunbi. That’s endgame!”

“Now will you stop calling me Kwon Eunbi as if I’m not here?” Eunbi was dumbfounded.

“I admit defeat from now on. You won, Kwon Eunbi.”

Eunbi gave up.

Sakura looked at her, puzzled, “Was there even a competition to begin with?”

Hyewon sighed, “Oh come on!”

Sakura laughed and pulled Hyewon into a hug, “You’re my game partner, Kang-chan. Nothing can change that.”

Eunbi rolled her eyes, “Oh please. These nerds.”

Sakura grinned and held Hyewon’s hands, “Ms. Kwon is just a girlfriend, but you’re my gaming soulmate. That’s really on another level, you know?”

Eunbi scoffed, “Just a girlfriend?”

Sakura looked at her and winked, asking her to play along.

Eunbi sighed, “Ye,s I’m just the noob girlfriend, I mean, I can’t even play fartnight-

“IT’S FORTNITE!” The both of them shouted at her in unison.

Eunbi gulped, “Game nerds can be… scary.”

**

Sakura and Hyewon met up with Irene and Haeyoon at the boarding gate. They’ve already arrived earlier than them. Sakura’s plane ticket was bought at the last minute due to her sudden addition to the trip. So she was separated from Hyewon and had to sit in the Business Class. And then she realized that she’s sitting next to Irene.

Irene was unusually quiet that day, and Sakura was the one feeling uncomfortable with her silence. She only smiled and they talked about the little things like the weather and the safety belt.

10 minutes into flying, and Irene was still quiet. She put on airpods and just stared into space. Sakura glanced at her and the older girl caught her gaze.

Sakura smiled awkwardly, “Hmm, what are you listening to?”

Irene smiled back.

“My playlist. Do you want to listen?”

She took out an airpod and handed it to Sakura.

“Sure, I’ve always loved your choice of music,” she said.

She had always enjoyed listening to Irene’s playlist when they were close. Maybe due to their generation gap, Irene has a wider range of music in her playlist, especially the 90s and 00s English songs that Sakura never heard before.

Irene nodded, “True. Well, your playlist is full of Lion King soundtrack. Mine is just what normal people listens to.”

Sakura glared at her, annoyed. Irene chuckled, enjoying Sakura’s reaction.

“Put it on, I’ll play some songs.”

The younger girl put on the airpod and leaned her head to the seat.

A song was playing.

And your eyes, and your smile, everything about you,

How can I just forget the things that make me so in love with you,

So I left you with all my heart,

I believe and I'll keep waiting,

For just another day,

I believe you'll be coming back to me.

Sakura looked over at Irene. Her eyes are closed. It seems like she had already fallen asleep. She’s not sure why, but she can’t take her eyes off the sleeping girl. It’s been a while since she watched her sleeping. Her fac