pairing: BaekLay
length: 766 words

Although night had fallen by this time, Yixing made no move to stand up and flick on the light switch for the front porch. The fairy lights that hung across the front of the house, although incredibly dim, were just enough for him as he stared out into the distance.

The breeze was chilly, thanks to the arrival of autumn, but Yixing welcomed the cool wind brushing against his thin cheeks. The melodic tweeting of songbirds and soft chirping of crickets melted into the background as Yixing hugged his knees against his chest and let the sound of his thoughts fill the atmosphere.

Three years ago, Byun Baekhyun had entered his life like a shooting star. Fleeting, without warning, but full of dazzling brilliance that simply couldn’t be captured.

Yixing didn’t know how it had happened. He had lived his entire life, three decades, without knowing anything about the renowned singer. Byun Baekhyun’s name had just been that. A name. Nothing else.

And yet, within the span of two months, the younger male had somehow integrated himself into the fabric of Yixing’s life, interwoven tightly amongst the colorful threads.

From then on, everywhere that Yixing had gone, Byun Baekhyun had been there, glowing with elation and life. And it had been…captivating, to say the least. Especially for someone like Yixing, who had been entrenched in darkness and loneliness for as long as he could remember.

And even then, Yixing had been ridden with anxiety every time the younger male had appeared and joined the conversation.

After all, Baekhyun was somebody. And important somebody, at that.

And Yixing was…nobody.

Yet, despite all that, Baekhyun had been the first one to extend a hand to Yixing.

Baekhyun had been the first one to wrap an arm around Yixing.

And Baekhyun had been the first one to show Yixing what love truly was.

Every time they had camped together on the older male’s front porch, shoulders touching while talking quietly about their lives, Yixing had wished for the night to never end. He had wished that morning would never come. And he had wished for nothing more than to freeze time forever so that Baekhyun would never have to leave him.

So that Yixing wouldn’t have to be alone. Or forgotten. Ever again.

But, as all things that were too good to be true did, those precious moments eventually came to an end.

Yixing recalled the last time Baekhyun had stayed late at his house. That was the first, and only time, that they had interlocked fingers while sitting together. It had been entirely prompted by the younger male, who’d had a sudden fascination with Yixing’s hands, which he hadn’t quite understood considering the singer had much prettier hands between the two of them.

Baekhyun had happily asked if he could look at Yixing’s hands and after the Chinese male had nodded in allowance, Baekhyun had spent the next few minutes running his fingers over Yixing’s slightly larger hands. Goosebumps had emerged on Yixing’s upper arms, the older male markedly aware of the feel of Baekhyun’s soft hands against his.

And even though the topic of conversation had gradually transitioned away from Yixing’s hands, the singer had mindlessly continued holding them as they continued talking into the night. And it was once they had naturally shifted their bodies so that Baekhyun was leaning against Yixing’s arms that their hands had finally interlocked without either of them consciously doing so.

It had just…happened. In a beautiful moment that could never be replicated again.

And Yixing let out a long sigh as he looked down at his hands, missing the cozy feeling of Baekhyun’s pretty fingers between his.

If only he hadn’t let go that night.

If only he had asked Baekhyun to stay. Not just for the rest of the night, but for longer. Much longer.

If only, if only, if only…

But there was no point in dwelling on that anymore.

Byun Baekhyun was no longer in his life. Not in the same way he had existed three years ago.

And as much as it pained Yixing to revisit this fact every night as he sat outside on the front porch, reminiscing these memories that were nestled deep within his heart, the thought of ever forgetting Byun Baekhyun hurt infinitely more.

Yixing cherished the singer too much to erase Baekhyun from his mind, even if it meant letting his ever-present insomnia reign over him.

Because that would mean losing the sweet melody of Baekhyun’s beautiful voice in his head.

Which would leave Zhang Yixing truly alone in this world.

♈♈♈