I'm alive... but I'm a mess
I felt the urge to write to you guys...the few ones that still care... for two reasons...
first
I drew this
and I unlocked my twitter account so few people saw it...and liked it...and I thought you may be interested in seeing it too...
Please don't remove my signature if you share it. (also on my fb page you can find a sketchy portrait of y JaeJoong and more kpop idols will surely come)
Can you tell who these are?
Yes it's Hyukjae, but from what fanfictions? :P
Secondly.
I'm not dead, but I've had an hard time getting back first to my art and then to my writing (still working on that). It's kinda hard for me, I had tried to write a chapter of my ongoing Eunhae, but then I failed you guys again, and now I have an half chapter on my pc waiting for me to finish it... calling me literally every day.
Don't think I don't think about you...really. I had a bit of a fall out with kpop mostly because of so many thoughts and also because of my bias going away...ok I'm a grown up woman that actually feels sad without seeing Hyukjae so I'm in a weird limbo state....
I drew this because of the fan artbook dedicated to him, else I wouldn't have tried as I'm too afraid to ruin his perfect face...
So yeah that and the kpop fall out somehow made it hard on me to write about eunhae.
Plus there is work. I'm trying to build something, I'm trying to find a way to make my art my job. Not my regular art but another kind you never saw from me. graphic and web designer crap XD I'm also trying hard to learn how to get in touch with my artistic self. I've always considered myself less than an artist, but this year, while I struggle to become a better human able to work and go out in the world, I'm also trying to accept the fact that if I don't draw and don't write I become very sad and hollow. I am an artist and I have many new friends that have been helping me a lot, so I'm keeping my art page full, because if I do that I feel like I can get an order in my heart and mind. I still think of the eunhae so don't worry that story will be written...I mean it was such a cool concept with few surprises and heartbreaks those you love so much... and I just want someone to read it.
Meanwhile to try and write something (because I still like to think I'm a write too, a crappy one yet a writer in heart), I had started a "series of silly romantic clichès" short stories (like one chapter is freakign 2 pages...lol me the girl of the 11 pages chapter) I will keep on posting on my blogs and on my tapastic page, about love clichès, not only bl stories but oh well. If you want to take a peak and maybe support me by reading and telling me what you think this is the link .
Ok i think i could say so much more, but I don't want to bore you... find me on instagram and on facebook, talk to me whenever you want :) ♥
thanks for being part of my life and experiences, I'm sorry I'm yet unable to manage all the aspects of my life
Love
Maria
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