I'm Not a Lesbian
I'm not sure if it's because I've only had one serious relationship or because I don't feel the need to go around calling every person of the opposite cute or ugly, but on more than one occasion I've been presumed as a lesbian. I don't know why honestly. I've never kissed a girl. I've never thought about any girl in a romantic/ual way (except Amber <33) When I think about my future I picture being married to a man. Does that sound homoual to you?
I'm not offended by it at all. I actually find it hilarious that people think that. It doesn't bother me when people I rarely know or care about think it. But it does feel strange when my friends think it. It makes me feel like they don't really know me at all if they think I'm a lesbian. We aren't as good of friends as I thought if you think I wouldn't tell you my uality.
I think this misunderstanding happens because I am very comfortable about my uality. I know who I am and what I like. And unlike what most people think, you can't just turn gay. You can't help it. It's something you have to feel rather than outwardly express. I also don't feel obligated to censor myself to avoid "sounding lesbian." I don't have to say "No Homo" after calling a girl pretty. I watch lesbian and gay Youtube videos and I am very comfortably with the idea of same- attraction. I guess I am just too openminded. Because I am not afraid of gayness I am automatically gay too. Better yet I am secretly gay I just don't want to admit it (>.<)
The point is, I don't have to constantly talk about boys in order to be straight. I guess that's the only thing that makes you straight apparently. Attraction doesn't matter. How much I spazz out over male kpop idols doesn't matter. How I personally feel about men and women doesn't matter either. The only thing that matters is what you voice to other people and how people perceive you. That makes perfect sense...
What's important here is that the few close friends who actually know me understand what my uality. My family knows. The person I fall in love with me will know too. If you aren't trying to date me or have with me, my uality is none of your business. And if for some reason I fall for a tomboy female, it's ok. I wasn't hiding my uality. uality is fluid.
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