Chapter 6

It seemed there was a virus going around and Dahyun was not in a good place to be especially if his immunity was still quite low as a child. He hasn't seen his sister yet because of that and as a precaution for his very first visit, he could only stay for a short time. After Kyuhyun dropped Dahyun to his parents, he went straight back and took the baby off Seohyun's arms.  He removed the blankets that covered her and placed her in her incubator with only her diapers on. Being in the hospital for a few days taught him how to do these stuff by observation and of course education from nurses. He changed her diapers and made sure her ECG (heart) pads were stuck properly and oxygen probes that was wrapped around her foot are connected to a monitor.

Seohyun was blanked out most of the time. He did some talking but she wasn't listening most of the time. The sound of her phone going off slapped her back to reality. Her parents just informed her that they were close to the hospital. Seohyun thanked him and bid him a quick goodbye before leaving the room. 

Kyuhyun probably thought she was acting strange but why wouldn't she? She just found out the very big secret everybody kept from her. But why? Something this important should never be kept away, especially if the baby she nearly killed was fighting for her life.

She knew she had a husband but having Kyuhyun as that person was never on her mind.

She sat on the bench outside the hospital and waited for her parents to arrive, again. She looked at the hospital behind her and realized that it was the hospital she got admitted to because of her accident. 

'What if, just what if…' she could feel her heart beating hard against her chest.

She got up from the bench and went into the hospital again but this time she wasn't going back to the pediatric ward. Instead, she was going to ask them directly herself since nobody would tell her fully what actually happened. Hospitals had protocols where the patient had the most rights to know their condition. So even if the doctor thought it is a bad idea to reveal everything to her, he doesn't have a choice despite their present health.

Seohyun asked the receptionist in the consultant's clinics for an urgent appointment and she was given a waiting number. She sent a quick message to her parents apologizing for her change of mind of taking the taxi instead. While waiting in the waiting area, she received a reply back saying it was okay. Having a very understanding parents was something Seohyun felt grateful for. 

Waiting time was around forty minutes and it was her turn to talk to Dr. Kang again. He was worried when he saw her name on the list for the second time that day so she was given priority.

"Is everything alright, Joohyun-ah?" he examined her closely, looking for any abnormalities.

"There is nothing wrong with me. I came here for another reason," she reassured him of her current health and continued on, "I want to know what happened?"

"You mean the accident?" he clarified. Dr. Kang knew this was coming but not this soon.

Seohyun responded with a 'yes' and added, "I want to know the full details of your assumptions as to why I had to do that to my child."

His eyes widened, 'She knew until that point already?' 

Seohyun's curiosity of her situation was what he was expecting. He did plan for when this time would come but that plan didn't include anything about her knowing she had a child.

Dr. Kang had a short thought as he carefully chose what to say, "From the details I received from the nurses and other doctors, we assumed you were pushed but that didn't explain why the child was pushed out of the way from a speeding car. So the conclusion was that you jumped in."

"By any chance, have you any idea what's the reason for that decision? Because I can't come up with any logical explanation," her voiced started to crack and tears began to form and finally flowed down her cheeks. "How could I do something so horrible to my own child. I'm relieved to save a life but risking my child's is unforgivable. An innocent and pure human being who has a full life to live ahead of her and I'm taking away that chance just before she is born. What kind of mother am I?"

Dr. Kang couldn't say a word, neither for her questions nor for comfort. From the information he got from her medical documents and discussions with the multidisciplinary team, they all diagnosed her with mental health problems. Of course, he assessed her while she was in the hospital and most of the queries came back negative. But that didn't mean that assessing her after the accident was the same as before the accident.

As a doctor, he needed to be honest and that's what he did, "Even we are unsure of that, Joohyun-ah. We interviewed the people around you to help us diagnose and none of them were able to give us something. You remember all the examinations?"

Seohyun could still remember that day where she had a lot of things going on. Most of her time was spent out of her room for assessments. She was asked silly questions, drew pictures and followed instructions. Exhaustion took over her as soon she hit the bed and slept for a good ten hours.

He continued, "All of those were part of helping us determine the root. To tell you the truth, your amnesia isn't our top priority. We are more worried of what caused you to act recklessly. From the years I know you during high school and on TV programs, you are the type of person who thinks through. You were so determined to save that child. There is nothing wrong with that, but you were pregnant and pregnant women tend to be more protective of their own baby so this is what confuses us. The real question here is... Did something happen that your family and closest friends didn't know that only you know?"

There was one place she hadn't check: the news online. Of course, she trusted her doctor but media people tend to have a more complete (sometimes false) stories due to their amazing 'detective' skills. They would have interviewed any witnesses and would have captured the accident scene.

She clicked on one of her hundreds of articles published. A picture of a car and a bloodied asphalt was at the top of the page. 

Girls' Generation's Seohyun was involved in an accident at  around 10:00 a.m. in Myungdong.

According to witnesses, a girl of around six years old ran towards the street without looking out for incoming cars. Despite being seven months pregnant with her second child with husband Cho Kyuhyun, she ran without any hesitation to save the girl's life. Fortunately, her fellow member Hyoyeon was at the scene and she was able to contact an ambulance right away.

According to sources, she luckily did not get any fractures but the impact of the crash gave the medical team no choice but to induce her labour and she delivered normally a baby girl. Unfortunately, she went into a coma short after.

Super Junior's Kyuhyun asked for prayers for both of his wife and his daughter through his twitter account and has received over ten thousand retweets.

Our prayers from XXX Journal will always be with the couple and their family.

She didn't know what to think or what to feel. She was glad to know the full details and how much she appreciated Kyuhyun for staying beside her child. 'Their' child. No wonder he wouldn't visit and she was okay with that. She forgave him for that.

Her memories were not coming back but just thinking about what she had done made her guilty and at the same time relieved. She saved a life but nearly lost another.

She was ashamed and the fear that Kyuhyun might hate her was creeping up her veins. It may be hard but she had to go back and face her responsibilities. It was too much for her at the moment but she had to take a step forward, for her and everybody else around her.

She may had been scared of the unknown but nothing will end if she cowered and hide. She knew the truth and nothing could change the history.

Seohyun took her time walking to the room. She thought of possible ways of telling Kyuhyun but what worried her more were his reactions. Would he shout at her? Blame her? Even worse, disappoint him? All these thoughts were circulating in her head.

As soon as she arrived at the suite, she could feel herself sweating and feeling cold. Was she scared? Of course she was. She didn't know how to face him. He looked so happy just looking at his baby girl breathing, crying and kicking. She would not have been in the hospital fighting for a long period if it not for her actions.

She entered the room. Kyuhyun was getting his things ready. He packed his tablet and his computer into his bag along with a few parenting books.

'So he still read those?' thought Seohyun. Dahyun was already an experience for him. Having a princess has wrapped him around her tiny fingers.

"Oh, Seohyunnie. Why are you back? Did you forget something?" he asked.

His eyes didn't show any hatred or any feelings close to that. He was happy, as simple as that. He probably had a hard time but no trace was left of that. Seohyun was alive and their daughter was fighting. That was what all mattered to him. 

"I'm so sorry, oppa," she muttered.

"Why are you sorry?" Kyuhyun questioned. He stopped doing what he was doing when he saw a few drops of tears falling and was going to give her a hug but stopped himself. 'She doesn't know yet.'

It was then she broke down and let it all out, "I am the one who caused this. I am the one who did this to our own child."

A/N

I know it has been a long time than normal for update but school just kept me busy and I was always tired after it.

This chapter is not the best as I rushed writing it because there may be some of you who can't wait xD There will be mistakes since I didn't proofread it and tell me if there are so that I can fix it.

Please do give me feedbacks. I am not forcing you but comments gives me motivation and more inspiration to write. 

Thanks for reading and subscribing and commenting and voting <3

Saranghaeyo <3

May 12, 2017: Edited with a bit of changes. Obviously, there will be mistakes here as well (I can't concentrate because of my fever) but don't hesitate to comment about it.