In Yunho's big Gangnam apartment were five rooms. In every room was Jaejoong. He was different things in each room.

In the kitchen, Jaejoong was a delicious, home-cooked meal, a happy dinner, kisses and smiles. In the bedroom, he was cuddles, soft snores and a warm and inviting body. In the living room, Jaejoong was a romantic comedy or a game night, sweatpants and hair clipped back in an apple style. In the bathroom, he was toothpaste foam sprayed all over the mirror in a fit of laughter, bubbles in the bathtub, wet and slippery skin in hot shower . In the spare room turned into a studio, Jaejoong was all kinds of beautiful stories and poems, read out loud while Yunho rested his head in the other's lap.

There was also one thing Jaejoong wasn't. One thing that was the same regardless of which room Yunho entered.

Jaejoong wasn't there.

Not anymore.

And the thing that hurt the most was that it was Yunho's own fault.

Yunho had only seen the parts of Jaejoong that were convenient for him. He had only focused on the happy Jaejoong, the y Jaejoong, the cook Jaejoong, the beautiful Jaejoong. He had ignored the other parts, because they made him uncomfortable. He had ignored the sad Jaejoong, because he didn't know what to say to make him feel better. He had ignored the hurt Jaejoong, because he didn't want to admit on being wrong, and he had ignored the angry Jaejoong, because Yunho knew that the other had every right to feel that way.

Yes.

Jaejoong was without fault. As always.

Jaejoong had only loved, trusted, forgiven, until he ran out of excuses for Yunho's behaviour. Yunho was the one who had deliberately stayed late at the office on Jaejoong's birthday to avoid making the effort of buying a present. Yunho was the one who had come home smelling of someone else's perfume. Yunho was the one who had been caught ing that ty secretary in his office. Caught by Jaejoong. Bringing a packed lunch to his boyfriend who hadn't had time to eat breakfast that day.

Yunho had driven away the only good presence in his life with his own two hands. He deserved to long for and miss Jaejoong, just as Jaejoong had longed for and missed Yunho all those days when the taller man chose his work over his lover.

He hated himself for what he had done to Jaejoong.

He hated himself more because he wanted Jaejoong back. He didn't deserve Jaejoong. Jaejoong had done nothing to deserve an like him. Yunho should just back away, fade into a bittersweet memory for Jaejoong.

But he couldn't. His heart wouldn't let him.

On the horrible day when Jaejoong, eyes b with tears, ran from Yunho's office, dropping the lunch bag on the floor, he ran to his sister's house, which was the closest. On Jaejoong's request, she had refused to let Yunho in, leaving him begging on the front step for five hours, until he gave up and went home. When he came home from work the two miserable days later, all of Jaejoong's things were gone, and on the kitchen table was his apartment key, together with a folded Post-It. On it, Jaejoong had written only one word: Bye.

Two months later, Yunho had spotted Jaejoong by chance, sitting in a coffee shop, knees pulled up to support a spiral note pad. Yunho remembered that it was part of Jaejoong's writing process, making up stories about strangers he saw.

Yunho almost went in to say hi, as if all that stuff never happened, but he stopped himself the very next second, when a guy came up to Jaejoong and greeted him with a hug. He then remembered that he had no right to request Jaejoong's time and attention anymore. He remembered why that had come to be, and painful as it was, he forced himself to be happy for Jaejoong, who had found someone who could make him happy. At the very least, someone who wouldn't ignore half of who he was and then cheat on him. With those thoughts, he forced himself to walk away.

If he had paid a little more attention to Jaejoong when they had been together, he would have known that the guy currently hugging Jaejoong was his cousin, Junsu.

- Hey, hyung, what's up, Junsu asked while sitting down.

- You know, same same, Jaejoong smiled, although the emotion did not reach his eyes.

- What's going on? Junsu pressed, his usual cheerfulness gone in the blink of an eye.

- Nothing, nothing, it's just... I kinda miss him... Jaejoong added the last sentence quietly, looking down, scraping with his thumbnail at the table, knowing exactly what reaction Junsu would display.

- Aargh, for the love of flying , we've been over this a thousand times, hyung! That cheating bastard doesn't even deserve to be in the same postal area as you! He most definitely doesn't deserve a place in your heart. Just get over him! He was clearly over you.

- Yeah, but-

- "But"? There's always a "but" when it comes to him, isn't there? You're always ready to forgive him. Honest to god, he could go on a cannibalistic murder spree and you'd still say "he's unusually hungry today". Come on then, let's hear today's excuse for the mighty Jung Yunho.

- He wasn't always like that. I'm sure if I just talked to him, I could understand why he did it, and maybe he's changed, you know? He did seem apologetic at the time...

- Changed? CHANGED?! Him?! Hyung! I'm not letting that jerk anywhere near you and that's that. Now come on, Yoochun and Changmin are fighting again.

- Ugh, what is it this time? Jaejoong sighed, letting the younger guy drag him out of the coffee shop, grateful for the distraction. He wanted to hate Yunho for what he did, but sometimes that was difficult, as hate wasn't a feeling that occurred naturally in the kind-hearted Jaejoong's emotional register. Besides — even though he'd rather eat dirt than admit it —, he still loved Yunho very much.

- Yoochun tried to disprove the entire Harry Potter verse by saying that if Dumbledore hadn't been so curious of his powers, Tom Riddle would have soon been expelled from Hogwarts like any other student, and Changmin retaliated by dumping a pile of dirty underwear on his bed. Yoochun almost had an aneurysm when he saw the mess, and then the war was official. When I left them, Changmin was holding Jiji while aiming a laser pointer at Yoochun's forehead, while Yoochun was threatening to delete Changmin's entire collection from the hard drive.

- And you wonder why I never write in the apartment...

About a week after the break-up — i.e. after a week of crying, cursing at Yunho and eating ice cream at his sister's house — Jaejoong had moved back into the apartment he'd shared with the three musketeers until he met Yunho. He still lived there, and had no intention of moving out any time soon. Despite their silly fights and whatnots, they were thick as thieves and stood by each other no matter what.

They were family.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Time passed, until Jaejoong and Yunho had been apart for almost exactly a year. Yunho saw Jaejoong on occasion, always willing himself to stay out of the other's life. Jaejoong never saw Yunho, because the latter wouldn't let him, but that didn't stop the beautiful man from thinking about his ex-boyfriend from time to time.

Fighting a fit of writer's block, Jaejoong took a part-time job at a small bakery slash café near the apartment.

Thinking that enough time had passed, Yunho dared to enter the bakery, hoping that they could at least be civil with each other again.

- Welcome to Bolero, how may I help... you... For the longest time, Jaejoong just stared at Yunho, unable to believe his eyes.

- Hi, Yunho said, almost shyly.

- Hi, Jaejoong replied quietly, picking at the hem of the flowery apron that suddenly looked very tacky.

After that incredibly exhaustive exchange of words, awkward silence took over, as if they had become strangers once more.

- So... I know I have no right to ask you this, but... Can we talk? Yunho asked in the end.

Jaejoong nodded, still not looking at Yunho. - Yeah...

They sat down at one of the tables, facing each other.

- Eh, I guess I should start by apologising once more, Yunho said hesitantly. Jaejoong nodded. Please, at least look at me. Stop fiddling with your apron and look at me. Yunho wanted to shout the words at Jaejoong, but held his tongue. He had no right to request even that.

- I'm sorry, Jaejoong-ah. I was wrong to treat you like that.

- Yeah.

- I know it doesn't justify what I did, but I would like to explain. Is... is that okay?

Jaejoong nodded silently, still not looking at Yunho.

- Long story short, you scared me.

Jaejoong finally looked at Yunho, but his expression was one of disbelief.

- You were — are — so incredibly loving and kind and beautiful and wonderful in every single way, and part of me always felt like I didn't deserve you. I've never been good at the whole relationship thing, you know that too, but you showed me how amazing it could be, and that scared me. I know it's pathetic, and it's nothing I'm proud of, but the god honest truth is that I chickened out. I was scared because I felt that what we had was too good to be true, and I feared that like all good things it would end one day. That's why I became so cold and distant. Because I wanted to tell myself that I didn't feel anything. That way I wouldn't be hurt if you left.

- Hurt others before they can hurt you, Jaejoong mumbled.

- It's a harsh way to put it, but yeah.

- Do I still scare you? Jaejoong asked after a moment's contemplation.

- Yeah. Not in the same way, but yes, you still scare me.

- In what way, then?

- Because I'm afraid you'll hate me. I'm afraid you'll say that I mean nothing to you anymore, that I never did. I'm afraid that you'll leave me again.

- I could if I wanted to, Jaejoong stated. Why he did not know. He needed to say it.

- Yes. And you have every right to do so. I just wish you'd give me a chance to make it up to you.

- No.

- No? Yunho felt a sting of pain in his chest. That was it. It really was over now.

- No. I won't give you a chance to make it up to me. I'll give you a chance to earn the chance to make it up to me.

- What are you saying, exactly?

- Prove that I can trust you again. Then we'll see if I'll let you back into my life.

- Thank you. Yunho almost started crying from the happiness he felt. - Thank you so much. I promise I won't mess it up this time.

- Can I ask you something?

- Of course.

- Why now? It's been a year.

- I tried to give you space, let you move on with your life. But I just love you too much, I guess. And now I finally have the courage to love you as much as you once loved me. I'm just hoping it won't be too late.

Jaejoong nodded silently. It's not too late. Not yet. Thank you for coming back.

- So, how do you want this to go? Yunho asked after a while.

- I want us to start all over again. From square one. Can you do that?

- Hi, my name is Jung Yunho and I think I'm in love with you, Yunho smiled, holding out a hand.

Biting his bottom lip and blushing cutely, Jaejoong took the hand and shook it.

- Kim Jaejoong, and I think it's mutual. Jaejoong finally looked at Yunho, and he was smiling.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Much to the annoyance of Yoochun, Changmin and especially Junsu, Yunho was very determined to get Jaejoong to forgive him. This time, he was hellbent on doing everything right, and he felt that giving Jaejoong all the rosy romance he'd missed out on last time around was a good place to start.

The only obstacle in Yunho's way right now was the three overprotective idiots who lived with Jaejoong. They refused to let Yunho and Jaejoong be alone together for longer periods of time, which was why they had now invaded their movie night by forcibly sitting down in between them, throwing glares at the increasingly uncomfortable — and annoyed — Yunho, avoiding the equally fierce glares that Jaejoong in turn was throwing at them.

After about 45 excruciating minutes, Jaejoong finally had enough.

- Guys? he said, the strained calm in his voice betraying his lack of patience with his friends.

- Yeah? Yoochun asked, mouth full of popcorn.

- You have ten seconds to leave this apartment, or so help me.

- Come on, hyung, this movie is great! Changmin protested.

- Eight.

- Hyung? Junsu was the first to notice the imminent danger.

- Seven.

- Hey, guys, I think there's an even better movie playing at the cinema, Changmin ushered.

- If we hurry, we won't miss the commercials, Yoochun agreed.

- Three.

The door slammed shut just as Jaejoong finished saying the word "one".

- Ah, much better, Jaejoong stated, cuddling up next to Yunho again.

- Just out of curiosity, what would you have done to them?

- Dunno, Jaejoong shrugged. - I've actually never got that far.

- Maybe I really should be scared of you, Yunho chuckled, hugging Jaejoong closer.

A/N

Blame severe Yunjae feels ^3^

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