Yunho POV: its been 5 years... though it may not seem long, it has felt like decades to me... years since we've been together.... i miss Junsu's oyagi gags,how Yoochun cried, but defended himself by saying he was still the most popular with the older ladies, and most of all I miss 'him'. It's been five years since I've embraced him,sang with him, and saw his smile. I long to to be on stage with them again and share our happiness and sadness together, but even now that seems impossible... After the split I was never the same, I stayed in our old apartment for days and couldn't bring myself to leave the place where we made many of our memories...But, I realized even though the split happened, i had to stay strong for me and Changmin and had to continue TVXQ for the sake of Cassiopeia. I have to smile even if it hurts because I have to stay strong for the fans that have been with us for all these years... After the lawsuit, me and Changmin rented our own apartment and resumed TVXQ's activities.Now we gain more profit because the money goes two ways, but even so, that thought doesn't make us happier... Our schedule never guaranteed any breaks and we no longer had an 'umma' in the group cooking for us. We usually eat fast food or buy frozen food to save time. Even Changin whined and complained about how much he missed his Umma's cooking. Ha.. i wonder how he would feel if he knew how much we needed him and the others... Though I'm only 28, stress has made me look like i'm 35. I always look back and wonder '' what if I left with them?''. Even so I know I can't leave. SM is where everything started, where TVXQ began and more importantly where Cassiopeia began. It is my duty as a leader to stay true to the contract. Even though I promised Cassiopeia that I'd never let us part, look at what happened... Can't you see that I am a failure as a leader? Every morning after looking at my reflection in the mirror, all I see is red eyes, bags, wrinkles, and a dejected look that never leaves my face. Is this really the face I show Cassiopeia? Is this really me, Jung Yunho? What have I become?