Daehyun's POV

 

It's night time again...
The sun has fallen and the dark has risen. Happy thoughts are down and the dark thoughts are up. The world is nothing but a big contradiction. 

I sighed for the millionth time in the past hour just staring at my desk. The dim table light that only stretches half way across centered stacks of journals in front of me have done nothing but make me feel an afflictive pain from the past. How can something called light, something so unbearably happy and bright, make a person feel so pensive and mournful? I closed the last journal for tonight and placed it right on top of the others. 

Or maybe it's just the fact that this desk lamp is hers. 

Why does everything have to remind me of her? Why do simple, everyday objects always remind me of her? Such as a simple pot of flowers by the window, or striped scarves, or even a fresh brewed cup of coffee in the morning? The majority of everyone in this whole damned world own these little, everyday items and yet the simplest of all items will only make me think of her. 

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration and lowered my head even more towards my chest. 

Why. I can't even finish editing this inane romantic novel without thinking of you Hyomi. Can you just let me survive one day without having you in my mind so I can just rest peacefully? 

I shoved myself up from the chair and began to mindlessly walk around my office. I rubbed my palms against my eyes and lead them stressfully into my hair. It's three in the morning and my boss said to go home at nine. I've wasted a good six hours just lounging around doing nothing productive. I hate going home too because it reminds me of her. 

Once again, I sighed, but not much of a sharp out-take, more synonymous to an airy breeze elasped from a deep and pensive cage of overwhelming heaviness from inner depression. And it's not so easy to escape this unhealthy lifestyle. People assume individuals like me who drown in this given state can get back on track with life by utilizing positive motives such as "You can do better!" or "Everything will be okay, just  take each day with a smile." Those who say that have never had their life destructively impaled just like mine. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, in a way of sadden confidence I suppose; and my situation isn't unique I mean it's commonality to lose a loved one at one point in one's life, but it's depends on the fragility of the person and how well they can cope with such a life changing act. 

I was always a sensitive person growing up and that's why it's difficult for me, compared to many, to stand right back up and depend on postiive quotes to effectively help me move on from everything. So people who tell me that I'm strong and I can get through Hyomi's death easily obviously haven't know me well enough to say that I can. Because I can't, and I've accepted that. 

I really wish I had an assistant.

To distract myself from the continuous degrading in myself I glanced upon the pile of work that needed to be revised by this week. I can't work when my moods like this, so to give justly feedback I can make them proof-read everything and it's win-win-win for me, the client, and my assistant who I will gladly pay personally. I need to talk to Mr. Han about this. 

          "HELP!" The horrish scream of a girl came from below. I snapped out of my stance and quickly rushed towards window. I started to thoroughly scan the streets below and finally saw a girl running speedily away from a man who quickly chased after her. 

I was about to go downstairs to help, but as I flinched to turn around I saw another rescuer from my peripheral vision. 

          "It's okay! I'm here now and you're safe. It's okay. Just stay behind me." The rescuer craddled the trembling girl in his arms. 

          "GET AWAY! STOP- DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" The girl fussed and screamed towards the man across from them. 

And out of all the nights that this scene before me had to just suddenly appear, it had to be this very specific night; where my mind has escaped out into an omission of unwanted memories. 

My head began to throb repeatedly and I placed my palms on the side of my head for support. I cringed from the pain from both of what my head was bringing me, and what my thoughts are bringing to me as well. 

I started remembering that night. The night that I hated the most to ever reminisce about. 

All back to that night... the night of when I lost her...

 

(flashback)

 

         "Daehyun! Daehyun answer your god damn phone- Daehyun!" 

 

Heart racing, sweat forming, fists clenching, and sore muscles from the continuous running, Mihn Hyomi escaped from his house as quickly as her legs can burn her. Every corner and every street she turned her eyes darted to each lit house of the night, pounding and pounding on each door she's passed for the sake of her life. 

          "Please! Someone! Help me!" Hyomi's tears began to sting in her eyes which caused her vision to blur more than her mind had already made it. Her voiced croaked out help unconsciously as she refused to save her voice and hide in a dark corner of an alley. She knew Daehyun lived close, and that's what pushed her to continue running. 

She began to pick up her pace rapidly when she heard his grunts of anger and exhaustion of trying to capture her around the corner. 

          " you better come back here. You know you can't escape from me!" 

A glass bottle was thrown against the ground and Hyomi knew that he was not in the state of having a reasonable talk anymore. 

          "You can't leave me! You should know that by now so stop running!" Yongguk roared and fiercely slid his feet across the graveled cement, giving himself a grip of the ground and a strong push against to bolster his speed.

Hyomi had continuous tears streaming down her face fearing that she could be captured by Yongguk any second. Her eyes got a quick glimpse of the street name she passed and knew Daehyun's house was down the street. There was a chance of reaching her safety zone, and knowing that she was going to be safe in the next moment strengthened her confidence. So she filled her mind with Daehyun holding her safely in his arms and reassuring that everything was going to be alright and that tomorrow he'd take her out to her favorite restaurant and treat her with another day of happiness. 

          "Daehyun I'm almost there. I'm so close to you already that I can feel your safety orb encircling me," Hyomi's optimistic mind began to increase more once she caught sight of his house. "Yongguk is probably already tired from all the running and I don't hear his footsteps anymore, but just please be home right now and answer your door. Please, please be home right now."

Hyomi turned the final corner and was now only a couple more houses away from his. She was so close and knowing that she finally made it, adrenaline filled her body and her fear turned into excitement. She didn't have to run away anymore. She can finally rest in just a few more seconds. 

But she took her body for granted and as she extended her legs more to lessen the distance of her run there was a chip in the road and she tripped over it, causing her to stumble forward and smash her head into the concrete first followed by her limp body to numbly lay against the ground. Her vision began to blur again, but it didn't seem so bad at the time. Her hearing began to die down every once in awhile, as if she was ed up and down into a deep swimming pool. 

Her breathing wasn't as strong as before, but her weak body didn't affect her from calling out to him in hope for his rescue. She took one long breath in and forcefully screamed out," DAEHYUN!!"

She waited a second... closed her eyes.. inhaled another round of oxygen before bawling out the name "DAEHYUN!!!" Her tears choking her in the process. 

She waited.. and waited.. and cried even more. Hope is not lost yet, even though she's slowly beginning to believe that she would be dead in the next second. Not being able to stand up or even slightly turn her head to see his front door bothered her the most. Knowing she's already in his safety zone, but not being safe yet, slowly began to crumble her inside. 

          "Daehyun..." she whispered as more tears streamed down her face and onto her neck," .. please.. please hurry..."

As if reality decided to telepathically transmit the thoughts rushing from Hyomi to Daehyun's mind, Daehyun came rushing outside, spotting her nearly fainting on the ground, and swiftly scooped her up in his arms. 

          "Hyomi. Hyomi! Stay with me! Jesus, what- it's fine. It's okay. I'm here. You're safe- I'm here." 

Daehyun tightly secured Hyomi and craddled her back and forth to help ease her mind and distract her from the pounding in her head. Her appearance of falling didn't seem to leave her with oozing blood from her head, just minor scratches here and there. Everything was alright in Hyomi's head, knowing like she reassured herself in the beginning, that she would be safely secure in her loving boyfriend's arms with complete protection and care. It's as if everything bad she experienced awhile ago never happened and the night returned back to normal. 

Hyomi slightly opened her eyes and gazed up at her boyfriend's perfect face. She lightly smiled up at him, as a tear rolled down from his cheek. She weakly lifted her hand and gently wiped the tear away from his eyes and softly caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. 

          "Daehyun, I love you." Hyomi whispered as a tenderly smile crept upon her lips. Her sudden confession brought a chuckle out of him. 

          "Don't say that right now, you're making me uncomfortable," he half-heartedly laughed feeling as if this moment was a final goodbye. His gentle smile and fearless eyes overwhelmed her with comfort and she could never feel more at peace in his arms. To her, Daehyun was her rock, but the way he felt during the moment was vulnerabilty in it's purest form. Deep down inside, seeing her in this state, it felt like this was all his doing. Sudden guilt filled his conscience for only awhile until Hyomi's shivering body took over his attention. He quickly shook his jacket off and wrapped it around her, attempting to lift her up and carry her back into his home. 

Suddenly, a bullet was shot right above the rear of the car right behind the two. 

Hyomi screamed and clung dearly onto Daehyun's arm and began to tremble again. He looked down at her with a panicked look and fully lifted her up as he  got up from the road and proceeded towards the sidewalk. They were almost close to the yard of his house until they heard the sound of a gun being reloaded. Daehyun knew then that if he moved once more, both of them would be killed. 

          "Put her down." He heard a raspy, deep voice call from behind. 

Daehyun heard Hyomi's quiet little whimpers against his chest, and he had no other choice but to be strong and face Yongguk for the last time. He slowly, step-by-step, turned fully around to see Yongguk firmly hold his gun pointed at them. Daehyun gulped in fear, conscious of the fact that they can make this out alive with the help of the hopefully awaken neighbors, or both of them could die right at this very second. He knew he had to be brave though. He knew he couldn't lose Hyomi this way. He must fight for her once and for all. 

          "Yongguk," Daehyun straightforwardly stated with his eyes fixed upon his," Stop this now. This isn't a good choice to kill innocent peo-"

          "Shut the hell up and stop talking right now or I will shoot you without any hesitation!" Yongguk took a step closer causing Daehyun to shakily take one step back. 

Daehyun remained quiet and waited for the next action the enemy in front of them decided to take. It seemed as if there was no way out. No way to save them both anymore.

Yongguk took his resentful eyes off of Daehyun and tenderly placed them upon Hyomi's frightened position. It hurt him the most to see how afraid she seemed to be in front of him. After everything they've done together, and after every memory she ignorantly gave him; It has caused his heart to only love no one else but her. He only loves her and seeing that she ran off to another man, killed his heart painfully. He engulfed every second of love she gave to him and turned it into an over-obsessed addiction. But that was something he never realized at the moment. The only idea fastended into his mind is that Hyomi is only his. And he must take back what he rightfully owns. 

          "Hyomi..." Yongguk whispered as he lowered his gun by his side. 

Hyomi slightly turned her head towards his direction, but was still shooken with fear. Everything he's done to her back at his house. The throwing, the yelling, the abusing... she doesn't want to remember that anymore. Whenever she looks at him, it only brings her back more pain. 

One she caught sight of him staring back at her she quietly gasped and clung back onto Daehyun, and buried her head into his chest. Daehyun secured his grasp on her legs and back to make sure of her protection. Noticing this, Yongguk became even more infuritaed. He clenched his fist with anger. 

Knowing that Hyomi loved Daehyun more than him, a malicious plot of revenge surrounded his mind, and he thought of the perfect plan to get her back. 

He firmly grasped his gun again, and pointed it directly at Daehyun's face. 

          "Hyomi," Yongguk tried to get her attention but evidently failed. He smirked of the idea he developed in his head, fanatical of turning it into reality in the next moment. 

          "Hyomi," he begun again," I suggest you come to me. Unless you want to see your boyfriend dead." 

The two words boyfriend and dead instantly rung in her ear and she immediately forced her head up to be greeted with a gun directed straight at them. She took a quick inhale as her eyes widended in horror. Yongguk didn't have the guts to kill her boyfriend, he wouldn't, is what she thought. 

Hyomi scrambled in Daehyun's arms causing him to set her down on the ground. "Hyomi," he stated and protectively grabbed onto her wrist. She slightly turned her head around and looked up at his eyes, reassuring him that everything's going to be okay. He gulped and nervously gave her a single nod. He then gently let go of her as she faced Yongguk once again. Yongguk smiled at the scene in front of him. She's finally coming back to me, he thought. 

          "Yongguk," Hyomi firmly stated," You have to realize that I can't come back to you anymore. And that I love Daehyun."

His smile slowly faded as his anger boiled throughout his entire body. He didn't like the sound of her words at all, and the phrase, I can't come back to you, rung clearly in his mind. Nothing can calm his actions anymore. 

          "And you have to listen to me when I say this," she begun again," love isn't about keeping someone all to yourself. Love is about giving back.. and realizing each other's feelings and accepting how they feel towards you." Yongguk remained quiet as his heart crippled along with each and every word she had stated. But it has fallen into complete destruction once Hyomi breathed out," And I don't feel anything towards you anymore."

This was enough of her that he could handle tonight, so he instantly held up his gun one more time and was ready to end this all. He didn't want to accept she stopped loving him, he wasn't ready to let her be with someone else. He was never ready to give her up to anyone from the start. 

Catching sight of his sudden action, Hyomi's eyes widened in panic and saw that the gun wasn't pointed at her at the slightest angle, but was clearly lined across the person behind her. 

A gunshot was fired and within the final second she had left, she abruptly lunged her body over Daehyun and took in the firing bullet that ended her life in her loving boyfriend's arms. 

          "HYOMI!" Daehyun shouted with tears stinging in his eyes. 

Her whole body took over Daehyun's strength as they both fell onto the ground lifeless. He was overwhelmed at the sight before him. He didn't know what to do and had no idea how to react. His girlfriend, the only person he had ever loved the most in his entire life, took a bullet for him and laid lifelessly in his arms. He bawled and shouted at the night, cradling her closely in his chest. He hugged her as much as he could and rocked her back and forth, caressing her hair and wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. There wasn't even any final words of I love you, or goodbye. Everything just ended in a second's worth. Everything, his whole life, is completely gone. 

His eyes were already swollen and he couldn't see Hyomi's face as clearly as before since his tears were blurring out his vision. He gradually raised his head and caught glimpse of the man, the man who shot her, run away. Run away as fast as he could as he suddenly disappeared around the corner. He weakly shook his head in disbelief and dropped his head onto her chest, where he could hear her heart beat no more.

 

(flashback end)

 

My eyes were tightly closed and my head began to throb from the memory that encountered my mind. I fell to the floor with my hands grasping onto my head which followed by a grunt in pain. This can't happen every night.. I don't want to be trapped under these memories.

The release of my breath shuddered along with the slow release of my hands from my head. I cautiously opened my eyes as I felt a warm tear drape down the side of my cheek. I raised my head as another tear trinkled from the other side. My heart crippled at the lonliness that surrounded me on this night and the thought of experiencing this all over again freed the stream of tears I forcibly choked back. 

I can't live like this anymore. 

I give up.