A/N : omg Kyuhyun what's wrong with you? omg Leeteuk, what's wrong with you?

 

*

 

“Kyuhyun, the bus is here. You want us to help you down the stairs?” Donghae asked while popping his head into Kyuhyun’s room, Eunhyuk right behind him.

“I’ll be right out.” Kyuhyun told him, while fixing his hair. “And no, it’s alright. I’ll help myself out. You guys are spoiling me a lot!”

 “O~kay!” Donghae sing-songed. “We’re waiting downstairs. Don’t take too long.” He said while closing the door behind him.

Four days had passed since that dream and Kyuhyun was effectively moving on. He tried his best to engage himself in other activities rather than pondering over the strange dream. And it worked for him. His hand no longer reached for his cheek, at least not because of the smack. The pain was gone and the memories too. Almost.

It had been long since he had gone on an outing with s. So he planned to look his best and to enjoy to the fullest. While checking himself in the mirror, Kyuhyun brushed his hand through his silken hair the last of the hundredth time, fixed his collar and made sure his tee was crease-free. Once satisfied, he made his way out of his room and found Donghae and Eunhyuk waiting for him at the stairs.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I thought you said we’ll be meeting downstairs.” Donghae and Eunhyuk entirely ignored him, busy wrapping his arms around each of their shoulders. “If this continues I’m going to forget how to walk!!” Kyuhyun complained like a child. He felt the temperature of his cheeks rise. He was blushing. He was embarrassed. And worst of all, he felt like a two year old toddler.

Donghae and Eunhyuk straightened up, steadily lifting Kyuhyun’s feet off the ground, and carried him down the stairs. “Whine all you want, but you’re not going anywhere alone until your cast is removed and the doctors say that you’re ready to run a marathon!” Donghae said, his voice having a slight bossy aura.

“Yeah, it’s not like we can get a new little brother…” Eunhyuk said, playfully imitating Donghae’s bossy voice.

That’s what hyung said…

He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to being treated this nice…

 

*

After successfully (and with a good deal of difficulty) having brought the much taller boy down the stairs, Donghae and Eunhyuk, along with Kyuhyun, waited for their turn to enter the bus.

After having been trapped in the hospital for four sickening months, and then in his dorm room, Kyuhyun was thoroughly excited about this trip. His stomach was doing loop-da-loops and he was quivering in exhilaration. Although he had no idea as to where exactly they were going, his heart had already taken off on the journey. All he wanted now was to chase it.

When finally it was their turn, Donghae entered, then Eunhyuk and lastly Kyuhyun. The bus was crowded with the members, their manager, the cameramen, and other people from their crew. Kyuhyun swept his eyes over the number of people in search of a vacant spot. “Move over. Make space for the members. If you don’t find a spot, please step out for the second bus waiting outside.” He heard his Manager’s voice faintly over the din.

Eunhyuk found Donghae seated beside an empty window seat, arms folded in front of his chest and gazing outside the window. Thinking that Donghae set the seat aside for him, he made his way towards him. Donghae raised a quizzical brow, seeing Eunhyuk approach him with a gleeful grin. “Oi, this seat is not for you!” Donghae said matter-of-factly.

Eunhyuk’s smile dropped. “What do you mean?” he asked, the same expression still plastered on his face.

Donghae nodded his head towards Kyuhyun, who was coming up from behind Eunhyuk, and said, “It’s for Kyu, of course!”

Kyuhyun’s head perked up at the mention of his name.

Donghae caught eyes with Kyuhyun and gestured for him to come and sit beside him. Kyuhyun looked at Eunhyuk who had his trademark Why is it always me look on his face and then looked back at Donghae, saying, “It’s alright. Eunhyuk can sit beside you. I’ll just sit beside…” he scanned the bus once more and found Heechul sitting by himself, “Heechul. I’ll sit beside Heechul.”

Donghae peeked at Heechul from Kyuhyun’s side, then looked back at Kyuhyun and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah sure. Why not?” He smiled and made his way over to Heechul. He did not wish to separate the two best friends, and well, he should be able to bear Heechul’s blabber for one bus ride.

Or at least that’s what he thought.

Heechul looked up when Kyuhyun seated himself on the empty seat beside him. Kyuhyun caught Heechul looking at him and gave him a weak and unsure smile.

That was enough motivation to trigger Heechul.

“Yo, touch man! It’s Good. To. See. You! Wassup, fella? How you doin’? You are very nice. Yo, nice man!” Heechul droned on and on, clapping and shaking Kyuhyun’s hand like a hippy.

Kyuhyun looked at Heechul with a thoroughly bemused expression, his left eye expanding beyond its ordinary limits and his right eye twitching. The only thing he could catch in Heechul’s English explosion was “Touch” and “Nice”. He didn’t want to think how those two words were related.

He smiled uncomfortably, desperately trying to withdraw his hand. But nothing he did stopped Heechul. “Hyung…hehe…yes, it’s nice to see you too.” He let out. And Heechul finally let go off his hand and clapped Kyuhyun’s shoulder. Then he faced forward, plugged in his earphones, covered his face with a hat and rested.

Kyuhyun sighed. What a weird guy, he thought and turned back to see Donghae and Eunhyuk. He saw Eunhyuk playfully smack Donghae in the ribs. “AH! What was that for?” said Donghae and smacked Eunhyuk back. When he saw Eunhyuk glaring at him with knowing eyes, Donghae straightened up in his seat and then said, “You’re not an Idol, you’re just an ‘I’!!” Eunhyuk’s eyes shrunk further into tiny slits. Kangin, who was sitting behind them, sprung up from his seat and added, “No! He’s just a ‘Dol’!!” Donghae burst into laughter and hi-fived Kangin. Eunhyuk crossed his arms and looked away with an angry pout.

Kyuhyun smiled and shook his head, turning back to face the front again. Bunch of kids! he thought to himself.

 

*

Although Kyuhyun did not have the window seat, the bus ride was rather pleasurable. Cool wind was gushing in through the window beside Heechul and looking at Heechul’s stance he wondered whether he was awake or had fallen asleep. He felt like sticking his head out the window and lolling out his tongue. He laughed inwardly. How silly yet enjoyable that might feel.

He copied Heechul’s posture, plugging in his earphones that played his favourite mellow instrumental music and rested his head on the back rest. He let his eyes close and soaked up the pleasant vibes he was getting from the atmosphere. He sighed in contentment and began imagining himself lying in a wide green countryside meadow.

In his imagination he lay flat on the grass, atop a hill, arms and legs stretched, listening to tinkle of the bells hung around the necks of herds of cows, and the shepherd boys humming some unknown melodious tune at a distance. He smiled when the cool breeze made the grass blades tickle his skin. He could smell the sweet fragrance of flowers and also the aroma of food – being cooked at little huts – a few yards from where he lay. He could hear the bees buzzing beside his ear and also the shrill laughter of a few kids, probably playing.

He opened his eyes slowly, savouring each second, when he heard the church bell ring at a distance, indicating the coming of dusk. He turned his head to one side and noticed a girl in a worn out white gown, sitting on a big brown box. He squinted his eyes, and after close scrutiny, realized that the big brown box was actually a bed. What is a bed doing in the middle of a lawn? he thought as he raised himself, still resting on his elbows. That’s when he realized what he was seeing and he sat up with a sudden jerk.

It was the girl from his dream. (Though not as good as it literally sounds.)

His eyes were straining with the intensity of the shock and his breath was escaping in rough gasps. He heard a mild creak, like that of a damp wooden door, and turned around. He saw a single, dark mahogany coloured, wooden door and frame standing delicately on the grassy lawn. The frame swayed slightly in the light breeze and looked as if could topple over any moment, and the door shut with a little click.

And what happened next was like in detailed slow motion.

As he turned back to the girl, which seemed to take a couple of minutes rather than seconds, his surroundings started dissolving. Dark gray walls started to rise all around him from beneath the green base, the grass was underneath the floor, wooden panels falling on top of it, layering the whole area within the boundary created by the murky walls. A roof magically appeared above him and a single window expanded from the wall opposite to him. The wind and sunshine, that he had imagined, were completely blocked. Instead, there was a damp, sour smell emanating from the room, as if it hadn’t been used in days, suffocating him. And there, sitting right before him, was the girl, holding a small, glass container.

He was back here again. Him, with this girl.

Not again, he whined. He felt like stomping his foot like a kid. What now? he thought, as he raised himself from the wooden floor, his eyes locked on the girl. Is she blind? How come she never notices me? his mind was curious but he didn’t have any idea as to what to do. He tilted his head to one side, watching her. Her auburn hair was tucked at one side and falling freely from the other, blocking her from Kyuhyun’s view. He cautiously took a step towards her. Whether she was to see him or not, he wasn’t sure himself. He froze, not knowing why, when the girl lifted one pale hand and unscrewed the tiny bottle she had been holding. She tilted the bottle and one tiny white pill dropped on her palm. Kyuhyun watched curiously as she put the pill in and swallowed it. She repeated the action, taking another pill and swallowing it. And then she did it again. Kyuhyun knew it wasn’t any of his business, and that he shouldn’t be interfering, but curiosity got the best of him as he wondered Are those sleeping pills? Reality struck hard upon him as though he had been pushed in front of a moving truck.

Is she committing suicide? he thought, unknowingly taking a few more steps towards her. He caught hold of the bed post, right when she gulped down another of those white sedates. What does she think she is doing? Munching on candies? he thought, fuming. He automatically took another step, edging towards her. But his foot seemed to have gained weight. His step was heavy and shaggy, his eyesight foggy but his breath comparatively calm. Kyuhyun backed down and caught hold of the bed post again. He shook his head but his eyes seemed to get mistier. He bowed his head down and looked at his feet. For some reason his body was swaying severely. He grabbed onto the bed post with all the strength he could. He noticed he had generated an extra pair of feet. He was sweating and gasping for breath. He looked up at the girl, who seemed to have sprouted two more heads, and saw the bottle drop from her limp hand. He watched her collapse on the bed. “No…” he gasped out before his own feet gave way.

 

*

Kyuhyun groaned when he gained his senses. His head was throbbing with discomfort and he felt sick in the pit of his stomach. He unwillingly opened his eyes and saw a dozen of heads staring at him.

He was now wide awake.

He sat up straight and realized he was back in the all-familiar white, vacant and sick hospital room again.

Great! he cursed at the back of his mind. What am I doing here again? What’s wrong with me? Why are all of them here? What happened to our trip? Are we back ‘already’? Or did something happen? Did ‘I’ do something? He stared back at them, not knowing which question to ask first.

Seeing Kyuhyun’s blank expression, and also to break the uncomfortable silence, Sungmin spoke first. “Kyuhyun a – are you al - alright?”

Why are you asking this? Did something happen? he gazed at Sungmin, perplexed. Even though his head was numb, Kyuhyun thought hard, trying to remember what had happened. He remembered Donghae and Eunhyuk bringing him down the stairs. He remembered sitting beside Heechul and his weird English ramblings. He remembered green pastures, children playing, church bell ringing.

He remembered a girl.

He remembered a room.

He remembered the white pills.

He remembered her fall.

What happened then?

“Kyuhyun …”Leeteuk’s voice brought him back to reality. He jerked a little at the sudden sound and looked up at them. “A – are you alright?” Leeteuk asked with concern, fine lines of wrinkles on his forehead confirmed that he was worried.

“What happened?” Kyuhyun asked the most obvious question first.

“You threw up on the bus…” Yesung said. No, he whispered.

I threw up? Kyuhyun thought. It couldn’t get any more embarrassing than this! He dared a look towards Heechul, beside whom he was sitting when he had thrown up, and regretted it. Heechul’s look not only told him that he was pissed, but it told him to which degree he was pissed. He quickly turned back to the others.

“A-And?” Kyuhyun stammered unconsciously.

“And when we tried to help you we realized that you were out cold.” Sungmin continued. “So we called for the doctors.”

“And the doctors said that because you are still recovering you were probably stressed out by the trip.” said Leeteuk. “You should have told us if you were still weak Kyuhyun.” Leeteuk looked sad. “We could’ve stayed home.” Really sad.

“I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to ruin the trip for you.” Kyuhyun lowered his head in shame.

Kyuhyun’s words didn’t register quickly onto Leeteuk’s brain at first. He pondered over it for a few moments before realizing what Kyuhyun might have meant and it enraged him to no limits. What did he mean by the trip?

“Trip? A trip?? A TRIP???” Leeteuk’s pupils enlarged with each second. “Damn it Kyuhyun! We’re worried about you and you’re more worried that you ruined our trip??” Leeteuk barked in anger, abruptly standing up from his seat.

Everyone present in the room jumped at Leeteuk’s shout. They had never seen their leader so angry. And yelling was out of the question.

Kyuhyun cowered in terror. Leeteuk looked really offended.

Leeteuk pointed a condemning finger at Kyuhyun. “Yah! We can take another trip anytime but what would we do if something happened to you?!” Leeteuk was shouting so hard that he was physically straining and panting. “Shouldn’t you have told us if you weren’t well??”

“I was alright when we had left…” Kyuhyun mumbled in fear, his fingers playing with the end of the bed sheet idly. Apparently, he had whispered so lightly that no one had heard him.

“Do you think none of care for you??” Leeteuk’s words cut through Kyuhyun’s heart like a slick knife.

I wish the pills had worked. He heard a faint voice at the back of his head.

Seeing Leeteuk so mad at the poor guy, Eunhyuk came to Kyuhyun’s defense. He placed himself between Leeteuk and Kyuhyun and tried to push Leeteuk away as delicately as he could, fearing Leeteuk might explode on him as well. “Hyung, let it go. Why are you shouting at him? He needs to rest.”

Leeteuk completely ignored Eunhyuk’s plead. “Do you think some stupid trip matters more than your safety??” Leeteuk stabbed in another dagger. Kyuhyun winced at the pain his heart felt.

Why didn’t they work? Kyuhyun felt a vulnerable pain in the faint voice he heard again, slowly accepting it.

This time Donghae stepped forward. “Hyung…” He gripped Leeteuk lightly by his shoulder and tried to pull him back. But Leeteuk shrugged his hand off in determination. He was really furious for some reason. Some reason that even Leeteuk himself couldn’t fathom.

“Do you think you care for us more than we care for you??” Leeteuk yelled in rage.

WHY? The voice in the back of Kyuhun’s head screamed in unison with Leeteuk. Kyuhyun had had enough. He shut his eyes with as much force as he could, trying his best to stop himself from crying out in hurt and pain.

That had been it. Not knowing what had gone into their leader, each member had stood from their seats. Even Heechul looked utterly baffled. Now Hankyung, Kangin, Yesung and Siwon had joined Donghae and Eunhyuk, patting Leeteuk on the back, trying to calm him down. As a precaution, Shindong dragged Leeteuk out of the room, followed by the others.

But Leeteuk did not protest. He himself was shocked by his sudden outburst. His actions seemed like the contradictory of what he was feeling for Kyuhyun. He was not mad at Kyuhyun, he couldn’t be. But for some indefinite reason his heart was burning and he could feel it with every beat, feel his pulse thrive through his body, under his skin.

Kibum, Ryeowook and Sungmin stayed behind, watching, as Shindong towed Leeteuk out the room. Sungmin noticed tears streaming down Leeteuk’s face, and suddenly felt sorry for him. They turned back towards Kyuhyun, whose eyes were shut so tight that the temples on his forehead showed.

Sungmin sighed and placed a caring hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder. Kyuhyun flinched slightly at the sudden contact. Sungmin noticed and withdrew his hand skeptically. “Kyuhyun, you alright?” he asked after a moment of silence. Kyuhyun nodded once but did not open his eyes. Sungmin sighed again. “Alright. We’ll leave you to rest now.” Kyuhyun still had his eyes tightly shut. Sungmin placed his hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder again, pushing past the thought that Kyuhyun might not like it, but Kyuhyun didn’t react like he previously did. Smiling dimly, Sungmin continued, “Don’t think about what hyung said. He’s either very stressed or has totally lost it!” Kyuhyun didn’t say or do anything in reply. “Anyways…take care…” Sungmin ruffled Kyuhyun’s hair slightly, and after Kibum and Ryeowook had said their Take care and Goodbye, ushered them out of Kyuhyun’s room.

Kyuhyun sat there, eyes still shut forcefully, clutching at the bed covers with his hands. Why? the voice at the back his head sobbed. It whimpered in pain. Kyuhyun could feel it. Why? the voice cried again. Kyuhyun unknowingly whimpered too. He felt a strange kind of numbness in his heart, a feeling he did not recognize and it frustrated him. His fist was clenched so tight around the bed covers that his fingernails dug into his palms. He heard a soft sound around him. He opened his eyes and found a girl – that girl – scrunched up in a corner of his room.

Wait! This room… He looked around and noticed the great differences.

This isn’t where I was at. He thought as he took in the setting.

“Why?” the girl wailed, letting out an agonizing howl which echoed in the almost empty room.

Kyuhyun recognized the voice instantly. And he knew now that these were not mere dreams. This girl does some black magic stuff! I’m sure!! he proposed to himself. His eyebrows knit together as he helped himself out of his bed. He was still shaky, but he had to get things straight with this girl. He wobbled his way over to her and looked down upon her crouched body. She didn’t even look up as he approached.

Kyuhyun scoffed in displeasure. “You have quite an attitude, you know. I’m not asking you to talk to me or anything, but you could at least acknowledge that I’m here. After all that you’ve been doing.” He said, annoyance painted on his face.

She still didn’t reply. She didn’t even look up.

Kyuhyun knew he should be annoyed at her, but felt the same numbness again…

“Whenever I’m with you something happens. Always something bad.” Kyuhyun continued with a harsh tone. There was no reply from her.

His heart was aching like someone was grappling onto it…

“Hyung shouted at me today. I passed out in the bus. It’s because of you that all this is happening.” Kyuhyun’s voice was edging towards something ominous. “So you better stop with whatever you’re up to and drop this act of vulnerability.”

Still no reply…

He pushed the rising pity and the numb sensation aside. His eyes filled with extreme dislike and he continued in a sinister voice.

“I hate your presence. And I never want to see you again.”

 

*

A/N: For those who might have been a little confused - "I" sounds like the korean word "ai", which means baby, and "dol" means rock. So the both put together is "Idol". :P Got this from a show where SuJu T was a guest. Also, Heechul's hippy English was to commemorate their Full House days. :)

p.s: say NO, NO, NO, NO MERCY! xD