Deafening Silence
Changed By YouA oneshot for the Chapter 5. I have seen this video before, and now I came up with this one-shot. Super Show 2 - Super Junior-M - singing Blue Tomorrow back in 2010. (Henry fancam) - Credits to one posted the video - RuinedPaperclip.
He took a deep breath of such dead air that he can actually feel on his ever so white skin. That feeling of such air made his skin crawl. As he opened his eyes, he can still imagined that specific moment that he stood on this stage, and sang the lyrics that he should be singing, for the fact that they needed to continue on with their group’s activities, with their lives, leaving all the controversy behind them. But he and Zhou Mi paid the price of such distraught the fans were that night.
His eyes roomed around, saw the empty seats as the spotlights was left on for the fact that soon enough he will performing again in this very stage alongside his fellow members.
His heartbeat rose as the “boos” kept on echoing in his mind. He closed his eyes again for he thought this might help him calm himself down because the memories of all the hatred he and Zhou Mi felt that night were slowly made him weak at his knees again, but sadly it didn’t help at all.
He was out of breath again, like what he felt during that moment, that life-changing moment. He could definitely feel his heart jumping out of his chest again, and for the fact that it still hurts. And what he was feeling right now reminded him of that. It was the truth. And he is forced to accept that fact. Sadly, from the looks of it, he was forcing himself too much. He needed to in order to move on.
“You chose to be here. You chose this kind of life. You chose to stay. This is your dream that you are talking about. Just stay strong.” He always said to himself.
That was why he decided to stay after their rehearsal that morning. He didn’t even notice that he was already tightly gripping the microphone he was holding. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. He remembered every detail of what happened that day. He wanted to forget about it, but he couldn’t. He was starting to feel that way again, sad and scared.
It was silent once more. It was too silent. And he didn’t like any bit of it. He kept on saying he was okay at least he was trying, when everybody seemed to worry. He tried to lie to everyone, even to himself.
He continued on singing those said lines of their song that night he reminisced. It was his lines. It will always be his no matter what. But is there any chance that he could sing those said lines without them hating him? He is part of Super Junior-M. It was their group’s song. Every single one of them with or without Hangeng had the right to sing this song to their fans, to perform in this stage together as one. “Why can’t they see it in that way, back then?” He thought to himself again.
He never got mad at Hangeng for leaving the group, for leaving not only Super Junior-M, but leaving Super Junior, the company for good. Hangeng had his reasons. Henry understood that. People speculated about it. The rest of the Super Junior never did so as he. But he guessed that the fans loved Hangeng so much, that they couldn’t see Super Junior without Hangeng. They still couldn’t believe that it was Hangeng’s decision to leave the group, not anyone else but him, for him to go through with it. The fans simply couldn’t accept that fact. They love Super Junior that much. “But why couldn’t they find in their hearts to love me and Zhou Mi as well?” He asked himself over and over again.
He decided to just stand there at the spot where he did get booed for the first time. He felt his chest tighten again. He closed his eyes, and he felt weak as every second past as that painful memory reminded him of all the balled-up emotions he kept hidden all those years.
Someone saw him just standing there for quite some time. He felt two slender arms hugged him ever so tight and he felt some tear drops had already fallen on his shirt. His eyes still closed, he heard a small whimper of an apology coming from the person in front of him. “I’m sorry.” She said, as she cried, still in hugging him close. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to cheer you on that day. I’m sorry.” She kept on apologizing for she felt that once wasn’t enough for the guilt that she always felt, even if back then, she couldn’t actually attend.
He hugged her tight, and thanked her for being always being there for him, as he was to her. He was grateful for what she did back then. She was there right from the start and never left his side. So she didn’t need to say sorry for not being there that day. He wanted to assure her that. It was their unspoken promise that they will be there for each other no matter what happens. That she shouldn’t be sorry, he kept on reminding her.
“What are you doing here?” He asked. “I am here to cheer you on.” She smiled at him, as Henry wiped her tears. “Thank you” He spoke, finally smiling again.
As he performed with s, he always kept an eye on her, finding the courage to continue on living his dream, to keep on believing that he deserved to here.
She saw him smiling at her while he sang the song, as she was chanting his name. “~Henry, Henry~” She was the first one who shouted his name, “~Henry, Henry~” She continued on cheering while his fans was cheering, “~Xian Hua, Xian Hua~”. And then suddenly everyone followed her, and started chanting “~Henry, Henry~.” She kept on encouraging everyone to cheer for him. His other members eyed him with smiles on their faces, and all of them pointed at Amber just to tease Henry, and fans cheered even more.
As they were singing their last song for that night, Super Girl, while others were performing, he suddenly went down the stage and gestured for her to come up on stage and dance with them. “Please” He gestured to her. She kept on saying “No” to him. The spotlight already focused at the couple. And the people started cheering for her, and finally she agreed to come up on stage.
That was what he needed all along. He smiled at the realization that it wasn’t something, but rather someone whom he always needed, the person that he met four years ago, the person that he is madly in love with. Amber is all he needed. He was finally moving on from what happened to him on that night few years ago as Amber stood on that very stage with him.
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