ORIGINALLY POSTED IN AO3

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One night I remembered that one in Kyoto. Me, 23 years old, doing my marketing internship in the cyberpunk wonder of the 2000s. A little curious that my life took another path, without doing marketing now I can understand why I blocked most of those memories.

Funny as I erased her from my memory too.

To recap:

Mina Myoui (who I haven't heard from in ages, but I think she married an artist, how crazy) was into technology - she was a coding prodigy even though she denied it. However, since she was a female share in the company, she was assigned jobs that were a little more intricate, you know, more empathic. Sony sent her to Seoul to be something like a Mystery Shopper. Jeongyeon, my childhood friend, worked as an assistant at Samsung to pay for some expenses (whatta greedy ) and that's how we met.

The truth is that a couple of times people asked us what our thing was - but I answered that we were just friends, which was true. Occasionally, a little Soju tipsy, I felt the urge to kiss her, I don't deny it. I could have received one or another sign (they were probably mirages), but they weakened with the way she looked in the way of my cigarette smoke and the way she said goodbye to me, so normal.

Mina and I then moved forward in our friendship, though without becoming overly intimate. I remember the night I cried to her because i missed my father very much, who had left two years ago. Or the times we met at the cafe and after a while other people joined us.

Jeongyeon said that she had a split personality. She laughed, saying that it was necessary to fake it a bit for her job. After all, she was something of a spy. We filled the table until we were rosy. The conversations were lively at times.

I remember that she gave the final blow to my decision to study marketing. I had a year since I graduated from school, deciding between fashion design or psychology. Something about that world attracted me. It was the new millennium and consumerism was peaking. So shortly after I entered the grade, Mina left back home, in a shower of hugs that we could only have received from her at the end of her stay.

Jeongyeon and I entered college together, but I was the one who texted a little more with her. It seemed her and Jeongyeon's personalities clashed a bit, despite being similar in a certain way.
The emails began to become less frequent, until about a year passed from the last email until I received the correspondence.

It was Sony Group talking about a recommendation and a test.

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Mina lived very modestly despite her work. Now I think she was hoping something like Bitcoin would come along to fully invest on it, or maybe buy a big country house. Or maybe travel around Brazil and investigate. I remember that on that 23rd floor there were many plants and posters, although it was always very clean. I got there to break in with my iPod to some Alicia Keys and Destiny's Child. In Korea at that time the foundations of the pop world were just emerging, while in Japan it was already a success.

"Nayeon" I hear her voice coming from her studio, as Britney Spears blasts on the MTV screen, "can you turn it down please? I'm getting these reports ahead and-"

I didn't let her finish, immediately turning off the TV (gosh, what a brat attitude, now that I think about it) to start dressing up.

"I'm going to the company earlier today, I was already on my way out."

I lied. The entrance was at 9 in the morning, taking the subway 15 minutes to Minato. I didn't give myself time to think that maybe Mina was starting to get sick of me (or I of her). So there I was, 8 in the morning, walking around Chiyoda. I was passionate about store windows. I despised Gucci a little, but admired Prada too much. Louis Vuitton and Chanel were mostly my main purchases. On one of the local televisions, I see a Sony commercial. I am amazed by the beauty of this model, with a sharp face and small features. She could easily be a supermodel. For a moment I think about how she could stylize the fineness of her face and adapt clothes to her body. I shake my head, realizing that she's running late for work.

Snoop Dogg on the street, but I stand with Britney and my headphones already on the subway. During the tour I think a lot. Perhaps a new passion is making its way into my psyche...

My months in Japan were very constructive regarding career and cultural enrichment. It was the metropolis of the new age on this side of the world. Nothing compared. But with regard to sentimental ties, the matter is somewhat loose. I regularly talked to Mina (because we lived together, lol) and some employees who we hung out with sometimes. For some reason, Mina was lucky enough to find me, Jeong, and the rest. I did not count on the same, so the months passed slowly, with the exception of some sparkling days on the subway, or eating in Chiyoda.

I didn't reveal all the photos from that season in Japan, and I regret it a bit now.

Come December, Mina informs me about a party in Kyoto. It was something about welcoming new years, I don't know, I never quite understood. I raise an eyebrow because this girl wasn't much into partying with a lot of people.

"Is that a Sony party?"

She hesitates a bit. "No, but that's where I found out, so wait for some to arrive."

"I don't know, Mina..." I blink as I analyze the situation, "being Korean has affected me a bit in social gatherings."

She nods with a small smile, as if she already had the answer before.

"Some people who will attend have this liberal vibe, you know? Some students who came back from abroad, and I even heard that some models will show up."

My face lights up, and Mina anticipates it. I nod at her as my mind goes on thinking, first of what to wear, and second of that model I saw on the Prada screen.

It was probably my last party in Japan, although I can count the ones I had on the fingers of one hand. In the past I almost hooked up with a random guy. He had me walk out of that bathroom disheveled and with smeared lipstick because I wasn't willing to be ed without a . He didn't matter to me, for I knew she would never see him again.

I loved my look - it represented the best of streetwear style with feminine and fresh touches. I also advised Mina, who was strangely enthusiastic.

I see myself in the mirror, bringing some awareness to my reality. Mina calls me to take the train to Kyoto. I'm a little late, which causes the first train to leave us. I tell her to calm down. We're not in a hurry, and I wink at her as I explain that the best comes last. I see a hint of a smile in her, and it relaxes me even though it takes us a couple more hours on that 6-hour trip.

Around 8 we arrived, running to the accommodation we booked by phone, polishing our looks. Mina fixes my eyebrows as she can while she redefines her lipstick. This rush of adrenaline excites me, knowing that she just might see who I want to see.

The place doesn't look like Japan. At the entrance, eighties-style cars await, further inside some guards allow access to the mansion with swimming pool. My heart is pounding. Mina and I entered without the entrance I would have expected, but we didn't go unnoticed either. It's just that people are very busy: 3 different songs playing in various sectors of the same party. They dance, they sing, they talk and they take drugs. This party is secret, but it doesn't seem like it. Licentiousness abounds. I sit down with Mina, later joining a group of strangers thanks to her social battery (and my zero desire to speak and denote where I'm from by my accent).

Somehow, between laughs, I take a nearby seat with drink in hand. In the distance I glimpse who seems to be that model. I get nervous, losing any modesty to finally ask who she is. Sana Minatozaki sandwich dances with two men and inhales the dust that spreads in a line on the hood of the car that holds them (which I don't know how the hell they got in). She unconsciously left me speechless, immersed in the observation and in the heartbeat that she increases. Not even crazy I stop to try to talk to her and interrupt that. A touch of disappointment washes over me, looking down at my shoes, back at Mina who is making out with some unknown chick.

My eyebrows rise with a crude thought. wow. They all seem to be kissing and it looks like she triggers a song.

I start scanning lonely and cute people at the party because I'm Im Nayeon and I'm not going to be left behind. In full search, someone addresses me, snapping me out of trance.

"You know, I haven't kissed anyone in a year." It is a thick voice, but at the same time sharp. I quickly turn around to see a girl with bangs. My first thought is, where the hell did she come from? I glare at her from head to toe, which she seems to partially evade. Why does she tell me that so randomly?

"I see" I reply systematically, looking away from her, receiving her silence from her. I'm not going to kiss someone who arrives so loudly. That's not the way to address it, I think. Maybe this girl lacks social skills.

My scan is not hindered, managing to visualize a young man.

It doesn't take long until he starts making out with a guy who beat me to it. I refuse not to kiss anyone, turning my gaze automatically to the girl who continues to gaze away with her sideways profile. I think from that angle she's attractive. Her facial structure is charming with the lights mixing with the stars.

I think maybe I blew my chance, but come on, it's my last party. Memento mori.

"I haven't kissed in months, shall we try?"

That causes a reaction in her, like a small effort to bring her eyes to me and give me a trace of a satisfied smile. She shrugs, standing up for what I anticipated to be a kiss, but she ends up speaking in my ear.

“Your style is sensational.”

The flow of my blood quickens, as does any impulse to want to kiss her at the moment. Her breath and her voice. It is something that I somatized a lot when I remembered, but if I had to describe it, I would say that her voice is mustard yellow and her perfume is rosewood. She stands out with a sensational body and long, silky hair. I wonder who brought her, and also why my parted lips can barely tremble as the only response I can bring up is my approach to her warmth. I can't stop looking at it and the magnetism becomes something that costs me to realize.

Fast blink. "What's your name?"

I see her think for half a second. Will she make up a name for me?

"Momo."

“Nayeon” I tried to sound a bit seductive before seeing her put the pieces together.

She's a woman of few words, it seems. She gives me her deep look, I follow her, insisting on her lips. She understands the signal, allowing herself even more with the closeness. I try my luck planting a chaste kiss on her, feeling the softness and fit of against my full lips.

I sigh as I separate from her. She had her eyes closed. She opens them, giving me a chance to evaluate the kiss or maybe regret it. All this with her big eyes begging me and her lips crushed by her fingers. I blanch for a second. I decide to get up and kiss, miscalculating because she gets up at the same time, causing a clash of foreheads. I immediately start to apologize eagerly, but she silences me by connecting our hands to bring hers to my forehead and mine posing on hers. I sigh at her little shock, instinctively cutting off her closeness to allow her to gently and deliberately connect our foreheads. She directs her fingertips to my face, bathing it in caresses as my hands now circle her waist, still sitting. She squeezes my cheeks getting my most sincere smile in weeks. The brightness of her eyes contrasts with the lights, and in full view, she kisses me.

I close my eyes and allow her to repeat herself. At each pause and return, my grip is stronger. I feel like I'm doing what I want. My senses are clouded in such a way that even the music and surroundings feel far away.

I take courage unleashed for the time being.

"Let's go somewhere else?"

I don't loosen my grip on her waist, already sighing against . She sighs deeply, her eyes moving around the landscape, thinking for some reason. Before she becomes worrisome, she pats me to let her up and leads me by the hand. I follow her into the mansion, which she seems to know about.

I don't waste a second looking at her, a task I never finish doing. I try to blink to be present in the situation, and I think I just want to caress her hair and her thighs.

We entered a room that looks like a basement. The bed is occupied by many junk, but the closet is empty. It's dark, I realize as soon as she lifts me to the curb (wow, how strong) to kiss me furiously and squeeze me properly. I struggle for power a little, between the intoxication of her scent and warm contact. I hold her like I never want to let her go. I review her body defined by her cropped shirt and her back. I spread kisses down her neck, which reveal her luscious moans at last and I feel less embarrassed for having shown her mine already.

On the spot, she stops.

"No hickeys, please."

I question her.

"Why? You have a partner?"

I feel her thinking again. Her voice plays around a bit, which I find exciting, I'm not going to lie.

"It's not that, but... um... I'm kind of like-"

The adrenaline surges through me wildly, not letting her finish, throwing her a bulging "okay" at the contact of my mouth on her s.

I was and bitting there, but the caresses continued towards my face and my back, reaching to melt me more than I wanted to admit. Too delicate, until she began to and her clothes began to get in the way.

"You know what, I-I'm going to" I hesitated quickly, reaching for the belt of my jeans, already desperate for her touch, to which she helps me.

And the sound of the Chanel belt tinkling is the last thing I hear before the explosion.

Okay, very dramatic. But basically, the police broke in looking for some arms dealer who was there.

Momo put me down quickly, and we ran hand in hand, me with the belt in the middle of getting out and her adjusting her blouse between alarm and anxiety. For some reason I trusted her with my life.

But not knowing where to go in the crowd, and remembering Mina set off alarms.

I regret that my grip on Momo was so soft. Or hers to mine. Or both. Because when Mina and her group grabbed my arm to run away, I lost track of her forever.

I think I should've stayed with her. Although I don't know if it was the right thing. I think I could've asked her out for a date. 

My last image of her was the look she gave me between all the moving, her lips half closed with her perfect teeth and her hair leaking into her eyes. So short-lived that I still have questions to this day. Everything felt more libertine there. I remember the chewy kisses and my saliva marking her. I wonder if she remembered me at any time in all these years.

We returned to Tokyo knocked out, Mina asking me many questions and I pensively catching the air and staying in fixed points for minutes with my eyes.

The week after, which was my last at Sony, I tried to pay more attention to the employees to remember someone from that party. I did not find any, until leaving the company, having presented my last report, and with my bags almost ready for my return to Korea, a young technician approached me to casually tell me about the party. In a hurry I throw him questions.

"Do you remember the girl who was with me?"

"Oh, that one you were with very… yes, I think I saw her-"

“How do I contact her?”

“I have no idea, sorry. But I think I've vaguely heard that she's a geisha or something."

A geisha?

How does he know that? My hand stays out to pull him, to which he replies that he's not sure and doesn't know any more. Looking at it now, I really think he might’ve said that to get off my grip. Who knows. 

At the airport, Mina is somewhat homesick.

"I know we had some conflicts, but I hope it has been good for you to know my country."

“It was good” I told her with a hug. For some reason I didn't tell her more. I didn't tell her about the enormous uncertainty and my desire to have stayed, which arose after that party. But it was time to go.

After unblocking that memory, many what "would have happened?" come to mind. Seriously, what would have affected my destiny if I had clung to her? Things I will never know. 

What I know for sure it's that I hope we meet in another lifetime, maybe.