Sehun swung his apartment door open after the bell rang more than five times. He grumbled because he had clearly told Jongin that he was taking a shower, 15 minutes ago.

But when the door opened, and Jongin’s familiar face greeted him, a face that was seldom adorned with a smile, with darkening bags under his eyes, and black hair that almost covered all part his eyes, Sehun’s irritation disappeared. He let Jongin in first before closing the door. Sehun directed Jongin the way to walk to his room. 

Behind Sehun, Jongin walked a little slower. He was busy scrutinizing Sehun’s apartment. In addition to items and furniture that are neatly arranged, Sehun also didn’t hesitate to fill the walls of his apartment with various posters and paintings. An abstract painting dominated by blue and pink on the wall next to Sehun’s door caught Jongin’s attention because it turned out that in the middle left, there was a yellow letter that said OSH. 

“You made these paintings?” Jongin asked.

Sehun nodded. He opened the door to his room, and the anxiety came flushing over him again. This place was the most sacred and private place for him, that he never really allowed anyone to step in. But this was where the closet was, and Jongin needed to dress up. 

“Wow. What a talent”.

He didn’t really heed Jongin’s words because he walked straight to his closet. He opened the left door where he hung his formal clothes, and Sehun took three tuxedo suits from there. Black, gray stripes, and checkered brown. He put all the clothes on the bed.

“Choose one”.

Jongin touched suit by suit, muttering, his eyes narrowed. He repeated the process over and over again until his hand lifted a plain black tuxedo suit with a white inner shirt. 

“I know you would not pick anything other than black”, Sehun brought the grey and brown fit back inside his wardrobe. He then sprayed one of his favorite perfumes, Dior Sauvage, two times on the torso of the black suit before handing it to Jongin. 

“It’s my favorite color and easiest to match”. Jongin brought the suit closer to his nose. “Smells really rich”. 

He went to the bathroom at the corner of Sehun’s room to get changed. Sehun had practically identical measurements with him, height-wise and overall body shape. But when Jongin zipped the pants up, it was a bit tight. Not really concerning, but enough to assume that maybe he had more mass on his waist than Sehun. 

The next problem was, it had been too long since he put on a tie that he didn’t remember the sequence anymore. Jongin went out with the tie in his hand, and he gave it to Sehun.

“You can’t?”, Sehun stood up from his bed. Jongin nodded his head.

“I rarely wear a suit”. 

Sehun inched closer to Jongin. He first raised Jongin’s collar to make space for the tie before circling it around Jongin’s neck. Jongin looked straight into Sehun, who was less than a breath away from him. Sehun’s eyes were so focused on how his own fingers danced to make a knot. When he pushed it from the middle part upwards to his neck, Sehun’s eyes followed along up until he stopped at Jongin’s eyes.

Sehun stared at his orbs absentmindedly. He was hypnotized. He forgot what he was doing five seconds ago that led to this point of closeness with Jongin. He was afraid their breath would entwine to each other and made Jongin felt uncomfortable—until Jongin furrowed his forehead and until his voice reverberated into Sehun’s ear,

“You’re not going to choke me, right?”.

Sehun scoffed, and he finally released the air he had been withstood from his chest. “You’re into that?”.

Jongin and Sehun were both silent as they stared at each other. 

Sehun’s grip was still at the base of Jongin’s tie, very close to his neck and paralyzed by the sudden wave of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, that was terrible”.

Worst reply ever, Sehun. He didn’t know why those words popped on his mind as the first reaction to Jongin’s question, and why did he run his mouth so easily unfiltered. He continued to put down Jongin’s collar, only his hands now a little trembling. The best option for him was to do it quickly. Being too close to Jongin was not good for his heart.

Jongin chuckled. “You’re wild. But, no, thanks. I’ve been suicidal enough to need no help from others”. 

Sehun was silent. He should get used to Jongin and his tendency to joke about his trauma.

Jongin turned around to see his reflection in the mirror. He liked what he saw. For a few hours, he would turn into a decent guy for his first date. 

Jongin’s first client happened to be Bae Joohyun. She was five years older than him and currently pursuing her MBA degree. Though she had a bright smile, she rarely showed it on her social media page. Her request was actually something Jongin had never done before: attending a musical opera. 

The absence of a decent formal outfit amid his countless hoodies, jackets, band shirts, jeans, and sweatpants made Jongin rescued to the easiest fix. He had to borrow it from Sehun. It would have been a long process if he had asked his mom to send his tux from his hometown, meanwhile, his date was supposed to happen this Friday evening. 

“Your hair is a mess,” said Sehun. He took a comb from his dressing table and handed it to Jongin. 

Jongin pouted. He rarely brushed his hair, even when he had to go to class. Turned out his hair was long enough to cover his eyes. He forgot the last time he cut his hair. Maybe three months ago? It couldn’t be after the breakup. Even to eat just one meal a day had become a significant achievement for him during that time, let alone to take care of his appearance.

“Better?”, Jongin asked, and he handed back the comb to Sehun.

“You have to cut your hair after this.” Sehun stood next to Jongin, and they both looked at their own reflection in the mirror.

“How should it be? Undercuts? I’ve always used that model though”, Jongin turned his head slowly left and right, to get a full glimpse of his own face. Not bad. 

“Mullet? It’s pretty popular nowadays”.

“Would it look good on me?”.

He nodded his head, then said, “You’ll look good in anything”.

“Don’t try to make me feel nice”.

“No”, Sehun patted his shoulder. “It was a great coping mechanism too”.

“How so?!”.

“I always cut or dye my hair after a heartbreak”, Sehun smiled cheekily. “It’s like tricking your brain that you’ve transformed yourself into someone new. Then, boom, you’re ready for a new start”.

Jongin lifted his left eyebrow. “That doesn’t make sense”.

“Not until you try it”.

He took the previous perfume he used once more from the vanity. This time, he sprayed it to Jongin’s nape. After putting the black bottle in, Sehun took his favorite lip balm from the shelves of his lip products. It had a stick form and a sheer shade of red, so he figured out it wouldn’t look too obvious for Jongin.

“Here. Use it”, he handed it to Jongin.

Jongin took it and raised one eyebrow when he looked at that. “A lip balm?”.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t want to look so dead in front of your date”.

Jongin decided to comply. Sehun obviously knew more about taking care of his appearance, so taking his advice would benefit him. As he was applying Sehun’s lip balm on his lips, Sehun walked to his desk, where he put his phone.

The absence of further words from Sehun made Jongin turned around and approached him, who was planting his eyes into the screen of his phone as he typed things quickly. When Jongin finally witnessed Sehun’s desk located in front of his bed’s footboard from a closer distance, that’s when he saw the true side of Sehun.

In contrast to how Sehun arranged all his furniture and belongings outside the room to be quite Instagram-worthy, Sehun’s desk was chaotic. Stacked books, papers, and stationery were scattered without direction everywhere. Not to mention the laptop and other supporting cables jumbled together into a tangled mess. A desk calendar, a half-full drinking bottle, study lamp, tissue box, another lip balm, and standing phone holder were fighting for a tiny space on the table. Jongin’s observation told him that this is where Sehun spends most of his time every day. No matter how messy its condition was, Sehun would still be comfortable here. 

Sehun posted reminders for Jongin and Seulgi’s clients’, his college assignments, and work schedules on the wall above his desk. The higher it went, the more sentimental things Sehun sticks. Concert tickets, handwritten greeting cards, and polaroid photos with his friends had the most portion. Jongin found two photos of Sehun with Seulgi, which if he looked at it, the two of them seem to have been friends for a long time. Four years, he just remembered that. Seulgi and Sehun look really nerd in one photo, and in another photo Jongin found the closest version of Seulgi and Sehun he knew currently. 

“How you became friends with Seulgi?”, Jongin asked, his fingers touching the still unfashionable and nerd photo of Seulgi and Sehun. 

“She...was on the same college orientation group as me”, Sehun was still busy replying to a chat from Taeyeon, who asked about the progress of his work at FSS-Lab. Jongin nodded; his eyes moved around the other photos.

There was one photo that struck Jongin at first glance. Sehun was embraced by a guy from the left, as he put his head on the guy’s head. That guy had a pair of doe eyes, his hair was dark brown and slicked back. Both of them smiled at the camera. 

“Is he your ex?”.

Sehun immediately lifted his head when the question slid from Jongin’s mouth. The paragraph he typed was still missing a few sentences, but it seemed that Jongin’s question had a higher urgency to pay attention to.

Jongin was pointing to the photo he took with Luhan before they officially started dating. 

Sehun nodded. “Yeah. He is”.

That was it. Sehun didn’t elaborate further.

The silent gap made Jongin felt uneasy. His eyes started wandering around. “If you don’t feel like talking about it I—“.

“That’s okay. I just...I still... can’t take it off”, Sehun smiled wryly.

“You still like him?”.

Sehun shouldn’t be surprised because the Jongin he knew didn’t like small talk, but that question, as anyone would say, still punched his heart to the core.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his head tilted to look at the photos on his desk. “Maybe I just like clinging into the memories because that’s all I have left. It is not like I wished he could come back, but all I ask for was a little sincerity, a little sign that I really mattered”, Sehun exhaled. “Well, sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble”.

“That’s fine”. Jongin said that before he looked Sehun in the eye. “Did you dye and cut your hair after that?”.

Sehun looked up at Jongin and was surprised to see that man half-smiled to him. Coming from someone like Jongin, a genuine smile was something scarce. And that was why it was captivating.

He then laughed, before proceeding to say, “Yeah, I cut my hair short. And I dyed it ash brown. Then I changed my mind and dyed it dark brown. Enough?”.

Jongin chuckled along with him. “I pity your hair much. They would scream if they could”.

Sehun kept his eyes on Jongin still with a smile on his face. This moment would seem stupid and useless to anyone else but him. The only thing that mattered to Sehun was the way Jongin smiled back at him—and everything else could fall apart for all he cared.

~***~

At first, Jongin didn’t know what to expect when he met Joohyun. Should he be intimidated? Should he be afraid? It seemed like Joohyun was not the type to be easily satisfied. From her level of education and the request she asked for, it had been shown that Joohyun was at least one caste above Jongin. Or if he wanted to be more realistic, Joohyun was actually ten levels above him.

Jongin’s expectations turned into reality when Joohyun came up to him from the left side of the building’s lobby. The woman was petite, wearing a black long-sleeved dress with a V-neckline, the length of which covered her a few inches above her knees. The black color of her dress and long hair looked so contrasting with her snow-white skin. The two of them walked towards each other until they finally stopped to the right of the entrance. With the black heels that she wore, at least she didn’t look so short when she arrived in front of Jongin. 

“Jongin?”, her voice was tender, just like what Jongin thought a second ago when he first saw Joohyun in person.

From the way she dressed, the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, Joohyun was a really, classy lady.

Jongin smiled a little, hoping that it wouldn’t look too fake on him. “Joohyun, hi”. He got a request not to call Joohyun by formal names.

She nodded and smiled back at Jongin, wider. Without warning, she immediately took Jongin’s hand, slipping her fingers between them. Jongin was a little surprised by Joohyun’s treatment but he quickly turned his attention to something else. Joohyun’s hand was warm, and it felt tiny in his too. They walked towards the entrance. Joohyun took out his invitation card to stamp, and they were invited in.

“How are you feeling today?”, Jongin opened his first conversation with Joohyun. Not to actually find out how Joohyun was feeling tonight but to provoke their conversation in another direction.

“Good, I guess. And you?”.

“To be honest, I’m quite nervous. I’ve never attended a musical opera before. What should I prepare?”.

Joohyun turned her head to Jongin as they walked towards the designated room. “Your ear should adjust from the usual rock music you heard into something more calming”.

The fact that Joohyun remembered what he wrote on his profile made Jongin chuckle a little. “Okay, I take this as a sign to give my eardrum a little break”.

Their seats were just a few rows behind the middle section, enough to give them a satisfying frame of view with clear sounds. 

Within the span of an hour and a half, Jongin was actually enthralled by the performance. He almost forgot that he had a date if he didn’t snap his attention to how the back of Joohyun’s hand felt against his palm once in a while. The involuntary comment that he spoke in a low voice made Joohyun replied, sometimes with another compliment, sometimes with a longer explanation that propelled Joohyun to divert her face closer to him. From that close, he could smell the smooth scent of vanilla, with a hint of floral. But then again, his eyes would be fixated on the stage as he absorbed this new experience deep into his long-term memory.

All the music-related events he had attended all his life were concerts and gigs, and this was the first time that he felt the same excitement even with no one screaming next to his ear, with no blaring guitar solo and earsplitting drum beats. 

Joohyun’s last request for a date that day was to eat at the restaurant located right next to the building hall. She had planned it from the start when she booked a date with Jongin. Her hand was still holding the man’s hand, and for a moment, the uneasiness in Joohyun’s heart melted away. Every now and then, she rubbed the back of Jongin’s hand with her thumb.

Jongin reveled in it. Even though there was a small voice repeatedly banging on the back of his mind, telling him that everything they currently share was fake, but he could easily knock it off somewhere. His hand wouldn’t know whether Joohyun’s hand really acted based on a genuine feeling of adoration or not. 

The actual conversation took place when the two of them sat at the restaurant's back, adjacent to the outdoor area, which was still quite full at the time.

“You really liked the show, didn’t you?”, asked Joohyun. Her back was straight without touching the chair’s back, her hands rested neatly on the table.

Jongin nodded. “So much. Have you watched opera many times before?”.

“Just a few times”, replied Joohyun. “Today I should be watching with someone”.

“Oh? What happened?”

Joohyun pursed her lips into a thin smile as she tapped her fingers to the back of her hands in an irregular rhythm. “Tell me that the secret that I’m about to say is safe in your hands because maybe, we will never meet again”.

Jongin pushed his body slightly towards Joohyun, his hands folded on the table and pressed against his chest. “Of course. Even if we meet again, your secret will remain safe with me”.

After hearing Jongin’s response which calmed her down, Joohyun grabbed her small black handbag. She reached into her wallet first, before finally taking something into her grip.

How surprised Jongin was when Joohyun opened her right hand on the table, what unveiled was a ring that glittered due to the gold and small gemstones in the center reflected the warm yellow light from the lamp above them.

Jongin was silent, his eyes busy changing every second to look at Joohyun’s hands and eyes. This was very unexpected of her and Jongin felt nervous. By contrast, the woman in front of him seemed calm, unwavering, and constant. From reaching into the ring to showing it to Jongin, the expression on her face remained the same. No smiles, but no frowns either. 

“Are you...were you...married?”. Jongin didn’t know what kind of appropriate question he should throw other than this one. 

“Engaged”, Joohyun closed her fingers again into a grip, tossing the ring into her handbag. “Was. I called it off”.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you alright now?”

Joohyun smiled a little. “I never really wanted that, anyway. Our parents just set us up because I’m 26 and still in school instead of raising a kid”.

Jongin still fixated his gaze on Joohyun, unable to speak.

“Yeah, it’s the 21st century, and some people still have that mindset. I’m not surprised. Just disappointed”.

When their food order arrived, Jongin and Joohyun fell into silence. Luckily their meals could be a momentary distraction. Otherwise, it will be really awkward. Jongin was busy racking his brain to find what he should say to Joohyun. He crossed out the option of pitying Joohyun because it was clear she didn’t need it from the reasons she gave. Asking why Joohyun is looking for a rental boyfriend to accompany her to the opera? Not so important.

But then Jongin thought of something.

“What kind of life do you really want to lead, Joohyun?”.

The question managed to make Joohyun stop the movement of her hands, which were slicing the steak on her plate with a knife and fork. She stared at Jongin for a long time, soundlessly.

“A free life”, she finally said. “I imagined making decisions on my own without having to be solicitous of others”.

Short answer, but keen.

“You’ve done the right thing, then”, Jongin responded. “You should be proud of yourself”.

Jongin’s simple words swept Joohyun’s heart warmly, like wearing thick gloves in the middle of snow thunderstorms. Perhaps it was part of her fate when her friend offered her this partner-for-rent service. And the way Joohyun considered the option instead of throwing it away. And then decided to try it once. So she could meet a person, who temporarily would cease her weariness, who told her what exactly she needed to hear. 

“I do”, Joohyun put on a barely visible smile on her face. “And I will continue to do so”.

~***~

Jongin arrived at his flat when the clock almost struck 10. He passed the mirror that he held up next to his wardrobe and stopped in front of it. It felt nice to behold the way he looked admiringly, sometimes, and for that, Jongin decided to wear Sehun’s suits a little longer. He then went to his flat’s tiny balcony to smoke.

As he kept the cigarette between his lips and his elbow atop the iron railing, he replayed the prior conversation with Joohyun at the restaurant. He was a bit shaken, mayhap because it kind of hit close to home to him. Marriage, romantic relationship—he never really got the ideal representation of it. He never had the perfect model for aspiring on, to hold on to, to grip at. All the concepts he had were his parents’ failing marriage, and even his own relationship—the only one he ever had all his life—wreaked into havoc because of him. He didn’t know much about Joohyun, but for some parts, he could relate to her. Especially for the pain of not getting what their soul really wanted. 

And that made his first-ever experience as a fake boyfriend, felt unique and personal.

He fished out the phone he hadn’t look for hours from the trousers’ pocket. Of course, the group chat he had with Sehun and Seulgi would fill the uppermost part of his notification tab. 73 unread chats. 

What the hell were they talking about. 

Jongin clicked on it and skimmed through the messages.

Seulgi Kang

What takes him so long lol

Is he getting eaten alive by her?

Oh Sehun

???? Why?

Seulgi Kang

Idk she seemed like a maneater

In a good way ofc

Like a badass

Oh Sehun

Jongin wouldn’t let himself get into that situation

Seulgi Kang

How did you know him that well?

He could bleed his last drop of blood now and we wouldnt know

Oh Sehun

Just my hunch probably

He will be okay.

Jongin pressed on the camera icon and lifted his left hand to his face level. Still with the cigarette pressed against his lips, that he propelled with the help of his right hand’s index and middle finger, Jongin looked at the screen, as his thumb clicked the shutter icon. He sent his selfie to the group chat. Without saying anything. 

It only took a few seconds for the new notification to popped out.

Seulgi Kang

YOURE ALIVE

HOW WAS THE DATE OMG

KJ

The opera was nice

The steak was tasty

Seulgi Kang

And her??? Joohyun???

KJ

She used to be engaged

Kinda afraid of her first

But she is fine we had a nice time tgt

Oh Sehun

Used to what?!

Seulgi Kang

ENGAGED?????????

KJ

She showed me the ring so I wasnt lying

I forgot it should be a secret. Dont tell anyone about that

Sehun

Ill return your suit next week

Gonna wash it first

Seulgi Kang

DID SHE TELL YOU

why did they break up?

And why would I leak her secret lmao I dont even know her

KJ

Their parents arranged their rls

Joohyun didnt want to get married yet

So she called it off

Seulgi Kang

See, she is a badass!!

Good for her then!

Sehun stared at one part of their conversation that night as the tiny new messages text kept popping out at the bottom of his screen. 

Jongin stared back at him through the photo he sent to the group chat. He looked bedazzlingly hot in the suit, even more with a faint glimpse of the smoke from his cigarette. Sehun wondered if Jongin was aware of how attractive he looked, that the first chat he sent to their group was the picture of himself. Or maybe, it was the opposite. He wasn’t aware. 

Was it too long since Sehun looked at another man and felt that way? Maybe. But even if that wasn’t the reason, his stance still stands. He remembered accidentally stealing some glances at Jongin during their shift together at FSS-Lab. With his smile-less stern face, his hazel eyes glued to the screen, and sometimes with his forehead furrowed. Or when they went to smoke together in the afternoon after their work was done. The way Jongin leaned to the wall behind him, one hand folded in front of his chest and another one holding onto his cigarette. When he talked midway, the smoke would blow from his nostrils and his mouth. Sehun remembered the slight second he felt a small bang in his chest when Jongin’s face filled his vision. But that was it—it ended at that moment and didn’t affect his whole day. 

Until today.

His thumb was making a small dance on top of the screen as he was still unsure of his act. 

And his final decision was to tap on the save icon on the bottom left corner. 

Sehun smiled widely.

~***~

The first week of their grand opening finally came to an end. So far, each of them has already had two dates. It left them with four testimonials. Sehun put the sentences he compiled from their clients onto the pictures he took his own long ago. Thankfully, the way Seulgi and Jongin treated their clients generated compliments and praises. He then uploaded the edited pictures to their agency’s Instagram account. Getting excellent feedback was a really crucial component of running a business, he was aware of that. 

Sehun read through the booking form’s responses thoroughly that night. It was a brand-new week—Jongin and Seulgi got to go back to work. He too, obliged the bookers to attach their social media handle, because nowadays it was the easiest way to assess someone, right? Of course, the highlight people chose to show to the public might not be the most accurate determinant, but it was better to work with one eye open rather than two eyes closed.

Until Sehun arrived at one response that kinda, twisted his gut in some way.

Hi, I want to rent talent S for my graduation later. I’m actually a closeted bi, but right now, it happened that I have a boyfriend. Obviously I can’t bring him and introduce him as my partner to my parents. On the other hand, my parents had been nagging about me finding a girlfriend since forever. I told them that someday I’d introduce her. That was my fault, I know. Don’t worry, I had told my boyfriend about this, and we both agreed that it would be a one-time event only. Can I rent her twice? First, to discuss what kind of stories we should make up to my parents later. And then for the actual graduation. Payment won’t be a problem. Thanks. 

He scrolled up to see the booker’s identity once more.

Park Chanyeol, 23, Male.

~***~

Writer's note: 

Yes, a new character means a new problem will arise soon.