“Mongryong, stop eating Baekhyun’s shoes!” You squealed as you immediately snatched away the left pair of Baekhyun’s sneakers from the puppy’s mouth. He whimpered and ran back upstairs, probably to search for more shoes to chew on.

When you and Baekhyun were taking your usual afternoon jog around town, the two of you passed by a pet house where a small Welsh Corgi was displayed by the window with a printout that said Adopt Me? taped right beside its cage.

For some reason, Baekhyun had an instant connection with the puppy as the two of them looked at each other through the window, probably because they looked alike. So Baekhyun adopted the dog purely based on impulse and the rest was history.

“It looks like a potato,” you remarked when you first brought Mongryong home.

“Yes,” Baekhyun agreed. “And he’s cute.”

Well, you couldn’t argue with that.

It has been almost three weeks since Mongryong became part of the family, and he and Baekhyun have become inseparable even in such a short amount of time. Mongryong slept on the floor at Baekhyun’s side of the bed, ate below Baekhyun at the dinner table, and even sat with Baekhyun on the couch when he watched TV. The only time they were apart was when Baekhyun was either in the shower or at work.

Yes, it was cute and all, until the puppy grew the habit of chewing the shoes—fortunately, it was usually Baekhyun’s—around the house.

“He’s teething,” Sehun expressionlessly remarked as he sat on the couch.

“He already has teeth!”

Sehun just shrugged. “Dunno, that’s what it said on Google when I searched for why dogs chew on shoes.”

“You’re no help at all, you know that?” You rolled your eyes at him. “What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in the city for your internship?”

“Baekhyun wanted my help for something, so I lied and called in sick,” Sehun explained, and before you could ask what Baekhyun needed his help for, he added, “Don’t ask. It would ruin the whole thing.” He then checked the time on his phone. “And he should be calling you right about…” Your phone rang. “Now.”

Every time Baekhyun and the other guys acted weird, it was about a surprise for you of some sort. You were certain that this time wasn’t any different, but the fact that Baekhyun got Sehun into it too was kind of worrying since Sehun wasn’t exactly free most of the time as he was taking most of his majors this semester and he had to juggle his internship at the publication house at the same time. Sehun loved that internship, and for him to lie to his boss about being sick didn’t seem like something he would do unless it was a life or death situation.

“Sehun’s acting weird,” you immediately said as you accepted Baekhyun’s call.

His laughter resonated through the speaker. “Yeah, I paid him to do that. Listen… remember the camping site we went to on your birthday when we watched the meteor shower?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I need you to go there right now. As in now,” Baekhyun emphasized. “Don’t say anything and just drive there. Trust me, okay? I’m not hanging up until I hear you get in the car.”

“Fine,” you muttered. You grabbed your car keys and coat and let Sehun know that you were going out—not that he didn’t already know—and got inside your car, slamming the door so that Baekhyun would hear it. “Heard that? I’m in.”

“Good. I’m almost there, and I think I’ll arrive just before sundown. Meet me then.”

You hummed in understanding. “Okay. I’m hanging up now. I can’t talk while I’m driving.”

“Yeah, I’m driving too. See you!” He chirped, and the last time you heard him this excited was when he went to adopt Mongryong. “I love—”

That was when you heard it: the sound that used to haunt you in your sleep, when you closed your eyes, or when you sat still for too long—the shrill sound of metal scraping against asphalt that sent shocks through your muscles and prickled your skin and erected the hair on your arms.

You could almost smell the gasoline burning through your nose, invisible hands closing in around your throat and taking the air away from your lungs. You were paralyzed with fear, the image induced by the sound of tires skidding and glass cracking bringing back unwelcome memories of the darkest and longest day of your life.

Static resonated from the other line as tears raced down from your eyes down to your cheeks and then to your chin and dripped unto your lap. Frantic voices came after and soon did the sirens, and you wanted to scream at the sky and ask whoever was up there as to why they were letting you hear this and why didn’t the call just disconnect.

You rushed back to the house to tell Sehun.

—

The worst kind of goodbye is the one no one saw coming.

As a writer, you’ve written far too many endings to know when one was about to come, but this one completely caught you off guard. It wasn’t supposed to end already. There were still so many things yet to happen. This was equivalent to writing a story and abandoning it just as things were starting to get good.

This was unfair.

When the surgeon came out of the operating room with a somber look on his face, you knew what news he was going to deliver even before he took off his surgical mask to speak. You didn’t understand the technicalities he was explaining, because only one thing came across: Baekhyun was gone.

He was gone, and it felt like he took everything soft and beautiful and bright with him.

That night, Sehun returned to the city to arrange documents for his request for leave of absence at school while Chanyeol and Joohyun drove you back to the house that Baekhyun and you shared.

You called it a house because it wasn’t home anymore, not when Baekhyun wasn’t there anymore to make it so.

The entire duration of the drive was spent in silence. No one uttered a single word and you didn’t even cry, as if the reality that Baekhyun was never coming back hasn’t sunk in on anyone yet. It was too cruel to believe that the universe would let you meet your other half only for him to be taken away at such short notice.

When you arrived at the house, Mongryong was waiting by the front door, his ears drooping down and his eyes looking at you with sadness, like he already what happened.

“Mongryong…” you murmured as you sat down on the floor to pet him. “It’s just me tonight,” you began, the overdue tears finally coming. “Baekhyun’s not coming home tonight.”

The puppy whimpered as you continued to pet his fur. Mongryong was always so full of energy, but now he was sluggish, and you weren’t sure if you were seeing things because of everything you were feeling, but you could’ve sworn that his eyes were watering.

“Baekhyun’s not coming home,” you repeated amidst your sobs. “He’s never coming home.”

One of the most awful things about losing Baekhyun is that it happens again every single morning.

Usually, when you woke up and found his bed empty, he was at the kitchen making breakfast. But now you knew that when you leave the room and go downstairs, there would be no Baekhyun singing as he fried eggs and brewed coffee. There would be no good mornings from him as he plated the food and set the table. There will be no morning kisses as you sat down on the dining table. There would be no Baekhyun there. There would be no Baekhyun everywhere.

Everything in the house reminded you of this fact—the piano in the living room, the cups he used in the kitchen cabinets, the candles he used to light every night before he went to sleep, the couch where the two of you cuddled in when it was raining outside, and even though it was painful to think about how the house was so empty without Baekhyun’s laughter resonating through it, it also gave you comfort because it reminded you that he was real, that he wasn’t a figment of your imagination, that he wasn’t some character in a fictional story.

He was gone, but his memory in you was still very much alive.

But the memories weren’t enough to dull the throbbing in your chest whenever you realized that you would never get to see his smile again or hear his laughter or hold his hand or run your fingers through his hair or taste his lips or feel his touch on your skin.

You didn’t just want to remember him. You wanted him here. But that would never happen.

Mongryong didn’t chew the shoes around the house anymore. He just laid by the front door every single day, as if he was still waiting for Baekhyun to burst through the door with a bright smile on his face and greet him like he did when he was still here.

You didn’t know if the puppy understood what you told him the night Baekhyun died or if he was just doing that because he missed him terribly. You couldn’t blame him. Sometimes, you still find yourself hoping that all of this was just a terrible dream that you would soon wake up from.

During the wake, however, everything became so real.

Seeing Baekhyun’s picture surrounded by a hundred flowers sent you back to Earth, back to the reality that you were living in a world without him.

It drained all your energy to face people and accept their condolences. You just wanted to grieve in peace, away from everyone else where you could cry so loud and not worry about causing a scene, but even though Sehun was the chief mourner, you couldn’t let him do everything by himself.

The two of you were the only family Baekhyun left behind, and you had to be strong not just for yourselves, but also for each other.

Sehun ushered their distant relatives who came to pay their respects even though they didn’t know Baekhyun that well nor were close to their family, while you answered people that knew Baekhyun after he moved in town, which were mostly people that he knew from work and your mutual friends and acquaintances.

Minseok visited on the second day of the wake.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said as he took your hands into his. His expression was exuding grief and heartache even though he had never met Baekhyun. You figured that he was hurting for you. “Junmyeon sends his deepest condolences. He couldn’t come because he had a conference to attend to.”

“Thank you, Minseok,” you managed a weak smile. “Tell Junmyeon I said thanks, too. It’s okay that he couldn’t come. He didn’t know Baekhyun much, anyway.”

He cleared his throat before speaking. “He… he also wants me to tell you to go see him as soon as possible. He said that he’ll send you a text once he gets home.”

“For what?”

“He thinks that Baekhyun’s… passing will trigger some episodes,” he explained, and you noticed how he avoided using the word death. You were thankful for it, though. Death is such an ugly word. “He’s just worried, that’s all. He doesn’t want to risk a relapse, not when you’ve gotten so much better.”

You hadn’t thought about that. You were so caught up in your grief that it didn’t occur to you that this would have implications on your condition, even if you stopped treatment a long time ago.

“Actually, it’s a cross consultation,” he added. “You’ll be seeing him with me simultaneously, given the nature of the situation. Baekhyun isn’t just anyone. He’s you’re soulmate. And Junmyeon and I think that it’s best if I also oversee your counseling.”

“Okay.”

Minseok gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. “We can start a few days after the funeral. We’ll give you some time to grieve alone. Just come by the clinic when you’re ready.”

You nodded and he gave you one last hug before he made his way to Sehun to offer his condolences.

The funeral was probably the hardest part.

It was supposed to be the final goodbye, but that was the problem: you didn’t want to say goodbye to Baekhyun. You weren’t ready to let him go just yet, and you probably never will be.

The ceremony was shorter than usual because you and Sehun refused to give eulogies. It was an agreement between the two of you, to keep everything you wanted to say to Baekhyun for the last time written in letters that would be buried with him, and it wasn’t because the two of you simply didn’t want to eulogize Baekhyun, but because your relationship with him was too personal and intimate to share with anyone else. Baekhyun left too early, and you and Sehun wanted to keep a piece of him only to yourselves. You were both allowed to be selfish, right?

As Baekhyun’s coffin was being lowered, the last thing you saw was two white envelopes wedged between the white flowers, one written with Hyung on its face and the other with Moonlight.

Sehun drove you home after that.

Mongryong was still waiting by the front door, and you wondered until when he could keep on waiting for someone who was never coming.

“Mongryong,” Sehun called the puppy, but when he didn’t come, Sehun just sat on the floor next to him. “Baekhyun’s okay, Mongryong. He’s somewhere safe. You don’t have to wait for him anymore.”

Mongryong just looked at him with sad eyes.

“Wherever Baekhyun is, I’m sure he’s happy,” Sehun said as he the puppy’s head and tears fell from his eyes. “He’s with mom and dad now. I wonder if they’re talking about me.”

Those last few words were enough to send you crying once again.

Baekhyun always talked about his parents. He often shared funny and heartwarming stories when he and Sehun were children, and from them you’ve deduced that they were probably amazing people to have raised such kind children. You didn’t get the chance to meet them, but you were thankful to them every single day that they brought Baekhyun and Sehun into this world where you got to meet both of them.

“This is so ing unfair,” you muttered before you could stop yourself. Sehun stood up from the floor and walked towards you to hug tightly. “He deserved so much more.”

“It’s okay,” Sehun tried to calm you down, but you could tell from his voice that he was also crying.

This was the hardest and loudest cry you’ve let out since the accident. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. He was going to say I love you before it happened. Those were his last words to me. I didn’t get the chance to say I love him too. Even for the last time. It’s unfair.”

“You didn’t have to say that. I’m pretty sure he already knows how much you love him,” Sehun said as he soothed your back and comforted you. He pulled away and reached something from his pocket.

It was a diamond ring.

“That day… he was going to propose to you. That’s why he wanted you to meet you at The Ridges. He said that that place was special for the both of you. I was supposed to follow you there and capture the moment in a photo but…”

You stared at the ring in his palms, the tears never-ending. This was rubbing salt into the wound. On that day, he was going to ask you to marry him. It should’ve been the best day of your life.

“They found this in his pockets. They gave it to me since I’m the only remaining immediate family he had,” he said as he took your hand and slipped the ring into your fourth finger. “But this belongs to you. It will always belong to you.”

—

It was hard to get back on your feet.

Living without Baekhyun wasn’t easy to get used to nor wasn’t it something you wanted to get used to. But that was how it was. Nothing in the world could bring him back, and eventually, you learned how to live with that fact, as painful as it seemed.

Junmyeon and Minseok helped a lot with that.

Junmyeon never dictated you on how you should move on with your life, and instead encouraged you to do what you felt would bring you most comfort and peace, as long as it wasn’t bringing you any harm.

Minseok, on the other hand, explained the implications of losing your soulmate. He said that at first, your brain would fail to induce dreams for the first few weeks as it was the link that connected you and your other half, and now that the other end of the bond has been cut off, it would take some time for it to anchor itself to a single person as it was used to being connected to someone else.

“After that, everything should go back to normal. But…” Minseok hesitated.

“What? What is it?”

“Well… It’s just that when your soulmate dies, you can’t dream of them anymore because of the broken connection,” he said.

What?

“There are exceptions,” he immediately added before you could say anything that you would regret. “Soulmates who had The Vision have a special connection, more than those who didn’t. This connection makes the bond unbreakable. It transcends time and space, and yes, even death. The link between you and Baekhyun isn’t broken. It’s just that you can’t physically see where the other end of the connection is.”

“So… I can still dream about him?”

Minseok smiled. “You could even communicate with him in your dreams if you both wanted to. Just give it some time. He’ll come to you when he’s ready and when he thinks you’re ready.”

The room suddenly felt cold. “I’m not sure if that’s cool or if that’s creepy,” you frowned.

“It is weird,” Minseok agreed. “But there’s a silver lining in all of this.”

“What?”

“The bond created by The Vision also transcends lifetimes,” he began. You furrowed your brows in confusion. Minseok then explained, “It means that you and Baekhyun will always be reborn in the same lifetime. The two of you will always manage to find each other, one way or another. You will always be soulmates, and nothing can break that cycle. I’m pretty sure the two of you were also soulmates in your past lives.”

Maybe life wasn’t so unfair at all, not when you get to be with Baekhyun over and over again.

—

A year after the accident, you saw Baekhyun again.

“It’s about damn time you talked to me,” you scolded him as soon as you saw him in your dream. “You really made me wait for a year.”

Baekhyun’s face broke into a laugh, and after not hearing the beautiful sound of his laughter for so long, you couldn’t help but cry at how much you missed it, at how much you missed him.

“It’s been so long since we saw each other and you cry on me.”

“Shut up,” you said in between sobs, the tears not stopping any time soon. “I hate you.”

Baekhyun smiled as he put his arms around you, his scent and warmth enveloping you. You almost forgot what his hugs felt like, and you just wanted to stay frozen in that moment forever and never wake up.

“You told me to meet you at sundown, but you never came,” you wept as Baekhyun cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears away with his thumb.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m here now, and I’m never going away ever again.”

He molded his lips into yours, softly at first, like he was kissing you for the first time all over again, but soon he breathed you in like air and all the time spent apart from each other faded into the background. Nothing else was more significant than this moment right here, and even though you were aware that it was just a dream, you allowed yourself to believe it was real.

After that, you met Baekhyun every single day when the sun set.

As the city fell asleep and so did you, he visited your dreams like he first did years ago. There, it was perpetually the golden hour; everything was coated with the undertones of fading daylight and there he was, sitting in the middle of it all where he waited for you to come to him and fulfill your promise of meeting him at sundown, which you did for the rest of your life.