where the lines of wendy and irene's relationship are blurred and...

Wendy catches herself staring at the ceiling, again. Irene is sleeping next to her, small but contented snores serving to calm Wendy’s nerves. She’s debating waking up Irene to talk to her, but Wendy could never bring herself to do it. Never after they had finished a movie in the solace of Irene’s large bedroom, or when they’d cuddle by the fireplace when the other members had gone to sleep.

Wendy shifts her gaze to the bedside table, the picture of Red Velvet after their first concert staring back at her. She tries not to think about how tightly Irene had held her hand when the picture was taken, like all the love she felt for their fans was channeled into her tight grip on Wendy’s hand. Wendy was crying then, and she’s crying now too.

Wendy wipes away the tears as they trace down her face, and tries to stop her body from shaking as silent sobs rack through her tiny frame. It’s then that Irene wakes up, an arm immediately making its way around Wendy’s waist. Her hand finds Wendy’s, squeezing almost as hard as when the picture was taken.

“What’s wrong Wannie?”

When Wendy doesn’t answer or turn to look at Irene, the latter pulls her closer and tries to lighten the air a bit.

“Was I snoring too loud?”

Wendy hates how easily Irene can cheer her up, and Wendy giggles at her joke, giving in and turning over to look at the older woman.

“No. I was thinking about you. So technically you were still keeping me up.” Wendy attempts to joke, although she hopes Irene doesn’t notice the tinges of pain in her voice.

“You were?” Irene says, her sleep hazy voice getting quiet at the thinly veiled hint Wendy dropped. “Don’t cry, Wan.” Irene says, cooing at her and cradling Wendy’s cheek in her hand, wiping away stray tears with her thumb.

“I was joking…” Wendy says, sitting up and gently moving Irene off of her. “I’m gonna go get some water, do you want some?” She stands up, and looks behind at Irene before exiting the room.

“Sure, let me go with you.” 

“It’s okay, really-” Wendy is interrupted by Irene interlacing their hands and leading them to the kitchen.

Wendy refuses to look at Irene, and opens the fridge to get some water. Her hand shakes as she pours out some out into glasses for both of them.

“Wannie..” Irene trails off, watching her hand tremble even more when she speaks.

Wendy hands Irene her glass of water, shirking away from the feeling of Irene’s slim hand ghosting over hers to grab the glass.

“What’s wrong?” Irene says, more insistently this time.

“I think I might be getting sick.” Wendy says. Yeah, lovesick... her subconscious butts in.

“Sick of what exactly?” Irene says, not missing a beat. Wendy hates how easily Irene sees right through her.

“No. Joohyun. Sick, like my throat hurts.” Wendy tries to recover, because she knows Irene is onto her in some way or another and she doesn’t exactly feel like spilling her guts at the moment, or ever really. Wendy could survive the rest of her life without Joohyun knowing how she felt.

“Am I being too clingy?” Irene cuts in, making her voice sharp in an attempt to hide the small crack at the end of her words. “You’re not getting sick of me are you?”

“Hyunnie... you know that’s not true.” Wendy says, her voice getting hoarse from holding back tears.

“Then what’s going on, Wannie? Please..”

“I really don’t wanna talk about this and ruin what we have.” Wendy admits, her breathing labored as she takes a sip of water.

“What?” Irene replies, her voice wavering. “What do you mean?”

Wendy’s eyes go wide. “I uh-uh nothing, let’s just go back to bed. Please.” She averts her eyes from Joohyun’s, she couldn’t stand to look at her when her own eyes were clouding with tears. She puts her glass on the counter with a clang, and turns away from Joohyun. Her knuckles go white from gripping the counter. Her breathing quickens and she has trouble keeping herself up.

Wendy hears soft footsteps behind her and Irene wraps Wendy in her embrace.

“I’m not going anywhere, Wannie. Just breathe.” Wendy relaxes slightly in Irene’s embrace but the tears start to fall again. When her breathing steadies, she turns around in Irene’s arms to look her in the eyes, a mirrored teary expression on the older woman’s face.

“I wish I could be sure of that.” Wendy replies, sobbing as a half confession falls from her lips.

“Can you please just tell me what’s wrong baby? I’m not going anywhere.” Irene insists. 
 

“Baby?” Wendy questions through her tears.

Irene pauses, and it’s clear she’s trying to explain herself.

“Why would you call me that? If we’re just “friends”… Does any of this mean anything to you or-?” Wendy replies, her frustration and pain intermingling in her voice.

“Do you know how much you mean to me, Joohyun? How much I care for you? How badly I wish we were more than friends? I can’t deal with this anymore, it hurts too much.” Wendy confesses, her resolve breaking as she sobs in Joohyun’s arms.

“I-I Wannie… I didn’t…” Irene trails off, joining Wendy in crying.

“My heart races everytime I hear your voice, everytime you smile. That doesn’t happen with my other friends. I guess I read too much into this, and now I ruined it. I’m sorry, Hyunnie.” Wendy cries, she lowers her head and ceases talking, knowing her outpouring of emotion would only get less coherent if she went on. Her head is lifted by two soft hands on her cheeks.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

Wendy only cries harder.

“Joohyun, stop.” Wendy replies, grabbing Joohyun’s hands and taking them off of her face. “You don’t understand..”

“Wannie I love you so so much.” Joohyun cries, throwing herself into Wendy’s reluctant arms. “I should have said something sooner. I love you.”

Wendy is silent as she tries to process what Joohyun is saying. She must mean as a friend.

“As a friend, right?” Wendy counters.

Irene lets out a quiet laugh, startling Wendy. She pulls away from the younger woman, her eyes shining equally with tears and mirth to look at Wendy.

“Wannie… I love you.” Irene continues.

“You love me?”

Irene laughs again.

“More than anything in the world. I love waking up next to you, I love the way your dimple pokes out when you smile, I love when you’re so sleepy that you can’t keep your eyes open. I love every part of you, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner.”

“Hyunnie..” Wendy trails off, her eyebrows furrowing. “At least I’m happy crying now…”

“You have to stop crying Wannie, really.” Joohyun grins, stepping back into Wendy’s space and wiping the tears from her cheeks yet again.

“At this rate, knowing the prettiest and most kind and caring woman in the world loves me back is enough to keep me crying for the rest of my life.”

“Loves me back?” Joohyun mimics, her head tilting to the side and her grin morphing into a blindingly bright smile. Joohyun puts her forehead against Wendy’s, their breaths intermingling for what seems like forever until their heads tilt and their lips connect. Slowly, Wendy’s lips move against Joohyun’s, trying to show her how much she had waited for this moment, even if it wasn’t how she had expected.

“Can we go back to bed now?” Wendy says, finally interrupting the kiss that she had been aching for for years. “And yes, Joohyun, I love you too.” 
 

Wendy quirks her eyebrow up and glances at Joohyun, a wordless gesture that was known between them. Irene nods and giggles, letting herself be lifted bridal style like they had done a thousand times before this. They’re both giggling and whispering “I love you’s” as Wendy carries Irene back to her room, planting countless kisses on her face.

Wendy had no trouble sleeping that night, Irene’s goodnight kiss and the crooked smile that followed it soothed her into the most restful sleep she had since she had met, and fallen in love with, Irene. There was no more guessing, no more game-playing or replaying every interaction with Irene back in her head. All she had to worry about now was the small woman laying in her arms, the same one that she knew loved her back.