The next week had passed quickly. Irene hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye to her roommates, opting instead to leave a short note.

“ Goodbye.

-Bae Joohyun

(Please don’t contact me)”

(She wasn’t really one for words, or sappy goodbyes.)

She had recruited Seulgi and her pickup truck to make the move to Wendy’s place. All of Irene’s very scattered belongings had fit in the bed of the truck in one ride. Irene always packed light, and Seulgi knew why.

…

The day of her promposal gone awry, Irene had walked into her worst nightmare. Her mind was especially foggy that day, and upon opening the front door, all of her belongings were packed and arranged in a messy pile. Her fingers trembled as she rifled through the things crowding the small hallway.

“M-Mom?” Irene quavers.

There’s no one home. The shoes that are usually by the door are gone.

Irene finds a note attached to the suitcase.

“ I know what happened today. Leave while you have the chance, and don’t ever come back.”

Irene’s eyes filled with more tears, but she hurried to gather her things and compose herself, shooting a quick text to Seulgi. She was desperate.

Seulgi responded that she was on the way, and Irene trudged around her childhood home, taking a last look at everything before she had to leave. Her hand shook intensely as she opened the door to her room. What wasn’t packed in that suitcase or otherwise moved was destroyed. Posters ripped off of the wall, broken glass from photo frames, and bedsheets all wildly thrown around the room.

Irene held back a choked sob and closed the door, her phone ringing from Seulgi’s call. She didn’t bother to answer, she just grabbed whatever she could of her belongings and ran out the front door. Seulgi was crying, too. She hopped out of her car and helped Irene organize her things in the truck bed, wordlessly.

A familiar car pulled into the driveway, adjacent to Seulgi’s truck. Irene hopped into the passenger seat of the pickup, and shrunk into herself as she waited for Seulgi to walk back around to the front of the truck.

She heard her mother shouting, knowing full well that Irene was hiding in the truck.

“Get out of here, you ing dyke! You aren’t welcome here anymore. Don’t bother contacting us EVER again.”

Irene couldn’t cry anymore. Her stomach ached, and her head was pounding. She didn’t want to stay any longer. Seulgi hopped into her truck, and wiped the tears from her own face before attentively brushing Irene’s hair away from her eyes. Irene felt the cardigan she had been tangling her fingers through get draped over her, and Seulgi’s soft voice invaded the cavernous silence.

“Rest, Irene.”

Seulgi drove away, and Irene couldn’t look back.

A hollow sense of emptiness filled her chest as Seulgi drove, and drove. 

Irene never went back.

…

For the second time in her life, Irene packed away her life onto the bed of Seulgi’s truck. Irene felt a gnawing at the pit of her stomach that was screaming at her to turn around, to go back to being uncomfortable with strangers than deal with the ghosts of her past.

Irene closed the liftgate, and tapped the back of the truck, giving a Seulgi a thumbs up through the rear view mirror. Irene kicks the gravel in her path as she walks to the passenger’s side, and clambers through the open door. 

Seulgi smiles at her, her eyes dripping warmth.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Hyun?”

Irene nods tersely, forcing a smile. “Small world, huh?”

Seulgi hums in response.

“Yeah, of all the people in the world, Wendy Shon? That’s crazy.”

“She goes by Son Seungwan now, actually.”

“Did she say why?”

Irene shakes her head, and turns to look at Seulgi, who’s absentmindedly tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music playing in the background.

“Do you think I’ll be okay, Seul? Is this the dumbest thing I’ve ever done?”

Seulgi laughs, “No I think the dumbest thing you’ve ever done involved drunk-calling Papa John’s and asking to put, and I quote ‘Papa Pizza Guy’ on the phone.”

Irene grimaces at the memory and slaps Seulgi playfully.

“You definitely over-vodka’ed the vodka sodas that night, Seul.”

Seulgi laughs again, “Maybe so, Hyun.”

The girls drive in relative silence until they arrive at the complex. Seulgi pulls into the same spot Irene pulled into the week before, as Irene’s car was already parked in the new ‘tenant’ spot, and puts the truck in park. Both women unbuckle, but Seulgi takes Irene’s hands in hers before they exit the car.

“Listen, if this doesn’t work out, you always have a home with me.”

“I know, thank you Seul.” Irene says, kissing the backs of Seulgi’s hands, a tender smile spreading on her face.

Seulgi returns her smile, and both women exit the truck.

They’re trying to organize a game-plan for unloading Irene’s belongings when a very concerned Wendy charges over to where they’re standing.

“Oh please, let me help with that… No reason you two have to carry this all alone…” Wendy rambles, her voice seemingly an octave higher.

“You aren’t gonna be able to do much heavy lifting with a stick up your , Seungwan.” Irene deadpans, grabbing back the lamp that Wendy had taken from the truck bed.

“How’d you even reach that, shortie?” Irene continues, dusting off the spots where Wendy’s hands had been holding the lamp.

Seulgi stifles a laugh, faking a cough as Wendy stands with her arms crossed, a rather goofy looking attempt at anger cascading over her face.

Irene grins at the younger woman, deepening the scowl on Wendy’s face. Wendy shifts her gaze to Seulgi, who’s still suppressing laughter.

“Seulgi, hi! How have you been?” she says, rushing over to Seulgi and enveloping her in a bear hug. Seulgi ruffles her hair condescendingly.

“Been great, Wen.”

Irene knew that Seulgi didn’t have any particular issues with Wendy in high school, but they battled over club leadership positions often. Both women were far too humble and kind to succumb to the temptation of feeding their egos, but it was still high school after all. And needless to say, Seulgi was still a little wary around Wendy, given all that had happened with Irene.

However, ever the kind soul, Seulgi smiled brightly at Wendy, pushing her away as kindly as possible, so as not to make things more awkward than they already were.

“Can you help me with the wardrobe, Wen?” Seulgi said, pointing to it.

Wendy blushed at the nickname, and Irene wanted to gouge her eyes out.

“Yeah! Of course, Seulgi,” Wendy smiled just as brightly at Seulgi.

The two women grunted and huffed as they carried the wardrobe to the apartment, Irene rolling her eyes and grabbing some boxes in the back.

It took a solid 2 hours before they had unpacked everything, and Seulgi insisted on staying and helping Irene set up her room, to Irene’s vehement denial.

She had shooed Seulgi away, giving her a hug (and slipping $50 in her pocket in the process) as a thank you. She waved Seulgi goodbye, and walked into her apartment.

…

Irene took off her shoes and walked past the kitchen, a tantalizing aroma of meat and spices pulling her in. She craned her neck to see what Wendy was cooking.

“What’s that?”

“Dinner.”

Irene stared at the back of Wendy’s head. So annoying.

“Never would have guessed, Chef Ramsay.”

Wendy whipped around to face Irene, her face red from bending over the stovetop, and also in what Irene assumes is frustration.

Wendy forces a smile, her teeth set in annoyance.

“Well if you must know, it’s for my guest. And you, if you stop being such a bad girl .” Wendy said, teasingly drawing out the last words.

Irene tried to ignore the knot in her stomach.

“And by the way, Seulgi is super adorable. Is she single?” Wendy questions.

Irene frowns. All she sees is green. By no means should be feeling envious, but the hair on the back of her neck prickle at the insinuation.

“No.”

(Seulgi was single.)

“Wow, is somebody jealous? I guess I’ll have to make sure my guest is extra quiet today, huh?” Wendy said, winking at Irene, who stood in placid anger.

“Your guest?”

“Oh, yeah her name’s Joy. She’s my buddy.” Wendy said, nonchalance invading her tone as she squinted to observe her simmering vegetables.

“So you’re trying to get laid the night I move in.”

Wendy hums, and stirs the vegetables once more.

“On most occasions I’d say yes, but she just got denied a role so I wanted to cheer her up. She’s an actress.”

( How peculiar.)

“But you didn’t make anything for me? Your new roommate?”

“I never said that. There’s carrot cake in the fridge, if you’d like.” Wendy says, turning around to smile at Irene. “It’s the least I could do.”
 

Irene sets her lips in a line, forcing herself not to smile at Wendy’s kindness.

“Thanks, but you’re still annoying.”

Wendy laughs her signature wind-chime laugh that Irene refuses to admit she likes.

Irene walks over to the fridge, and opens the door wide. In the middle of the rather packed fridge, she spots the carrot cake.

“Oh, and I put your name on it for you! Cute, huh?” Wendy says, a smirk evident on her face.

Irene grabs the cake, and written on the top in bright pink icing is BIG  . She sighs, and Wendy bursts into laughter.

“You’re impossible, Seungwan.” Irene says, placing the cake on the counter and shoving the shorter woman lightly. Wendy gasps.

“Excuse me? I went out of my way to bake that cake for you and you have the audacity to attack me?” She says, no sign of teasing in her voice. Maybe Irene pushed her a bit too far, literally.

“O-oh I-” Irene stutters.

“You’re such an idiot, I can’t believe I ever liked you.” Wendy says, rolling her eyes and getting a dollop of icing on her pointer finger.

“Open up.” she continues, hovering her finger ever so close to Irene’s lips.

Irene’s heart beat pounded in her ears, she hoped desperately that Wendy couldn’t hear it too. Wendy’s usually light and warm brown eyes had gone a shade darker as she looked at Irene’s lips, and back to the older woman’s eyes. The pad of Wendy’s thumb probed open Irene’s lips, and she maneuvered the pink frosting to the tip of Irene’s tongue.

Irene locked eyes with Wendy, enveloping the younger woman’s finger with her lips and dusting her tongue lightly over the frosting. She grabbed Wendy’s wrist, and pulled her finger out of with a loud pop.

“It’s okay.” Irene said, feigning nonchalance as she cleaned the corners of her lips with her tongue.

Wendy could only stare at Irene in shock, a bright pink that rivaled the icing painting her face. Irene giggled at her.

“Am I still a bad girl?” Irene pouts, and bounces on the balls of her feet. Teasing Wendy was just too enticing.

“U-uh no I guess not.” Wendy says, her cheeks still bright pink. She averts eye contact and rubs the back of her neck nervously.

Irene laughs and turns around, heading to finish unpacking and assembling her room.

...

Irene raced out of her room once she heard the doorbell, assuming it was Wendy’s guest .

“I got it Wendy!” Irene screeches, almost slipping on the linoleum in the midst of her race to the door.

Irene opens the door hastily, faced with a tall and gorgeous woman smiling at her. Her hair was short, and a beautiful deep chestnut brown, her sharp features highlighted by minimal makeup and a wide smile.

“Hi! Are you Irene?”

“Yeah, but pretty girls can call me Joohyun.” she smiles, extending her hand and pulling the woman inside.

The taller woman giggles lightly.

“Well hi Joohyun, I’m Joy.”

Wendy stomps out of the kitchen, her bangs plastered to her face from sweat. She had been slaving over the stove all afternoon while Irene finished her own tasks.

“Hi Joy, hi Joohyun. ” she says, smiling at Joy and grimacing at Irene.

“Who said that you could call me that?” Irene sneers.

Wendy’s mouth opens in shock, and she pulls Joy from Irene’s grasp.

“And this is why I frosted your cake as Big .” Wendy says, pulling Joy down to kiss her cheek.

Irene’s chest prickles once again. She pretends it isn’t jealousy, and blames it on the public display of affection instead, rolling her eyes and huffing.

“You hungry? I made your favorite.” Wendy says, brushing strands of hair out of Joy’s eyes, who slaps at her hands playfully.

“Stop doting over me Wan, I’m not your girlfriend.”

Irene smirks.

“Why do you look so happy about that, Joohyun?” Wendy counters, leaning out of Joy’s vision to squint a confused glare at Irene.

Irene only laughs. “Joy’s a keeper. Anyone that makes you look that stupid deserves an award!” She cackles, clapping Joy on the back lightly.

Joy laughs too, and points a finger gun at Irene.

“Oh Wen I like her! You better watch it, maybe I’ll just come over and her instead!” Joy teases, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Wendy squeaks out, exasperated by how quickly Irene and Joy seem to be getting along. She waved her spatula at them tiredly. “Dinner is on the table.”

Joy squealed and booked it for the dinner table, leaving Irene and Wendy alone in the hallway.

“She’s sweet.” Irene says, a bashful smile on her face.

Wendy nods. “We’ve been friends for a while. To be honest though I might be cutting off the ‘benefits’ part of our relationship, though.”

Irene hums and bites her lip to keep from smiling.

“I can see why, you guys seem too friendly for that kind of intimacy. Her loss though, you’ve got a great .” Irene says, squeezing Wendy’s shoulder lightly before she attempts to walk away, Wendy catching her wrist on the way over to the table.

“You know, for hating me, you sure don’t seem to act the part.” Wendy says, a flustered look on her face.

Irene smirks, and wrenches Wendy’s fingers from her wrist.

“Isn’t Joy the actress here?”

…

Joy was seated at the head of the table, loudly slurping on her noodles when Irene and Wendy had walked in together. She lifted her head up, acknowledging them before returning to her food.

“It’s good, Wen.” she says, spraying broth everywhere.

Irene snorts at the pained expression on Wendy’s face, which is grimacing at the mess.

“Joy…” she sighs, fingers massaging her temples.

“Oh lighten up, Wendy. I’ll clean up your girlfriend’s mess up later.” Irene says.

Wendy and Joy donned twin expressions, their eyes bulging and eyebrows reaching their hairline.

“NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!” they both yelped.

“There’s a reason why Wendy’s been single her whole life.” Joy says, snorting in unison with Joohyun. Irene sat down across from Wendy, who refused to give them a reaction.

“Still caught up on me, Wendy?” Irene says, winking at her from across the table.

Wendy, who was slurping up her noodles when Irene had posed her question, dropped her chopsticks and began hacking and coughing. Joy slapped her hand on the table, laughing shrilly as Wendy tried to regain her breath and simultaneously clean up her mess.

Irene laughed along with Joy, but her mind was whirring. Why did she react so impulsively? Irene was distracted by Wendy, once again, who was still choking on her noodles.

Irene pushed herself up from her chair, leaning over the small table to inspect Wendy, ultimately rushing to her side. Joy was starting to get nervous too, following in Irene’s footsteps and kneeling beside the woman.

“Wendy?”

“Seungwan?” Irene pressed on, rubbing the younger woman’s back, which was convulsing with every cough.

“Joy help me lift her up.”

Joy did as told, and Irene hugged Wendy from behind and attempted to do the Heimlich. With every compress, Wendy seemed to cough less, finally hacking up a long string of noodles.

Wendy turned around and steadied herself with both hands gripping Irene’s shoulders like a vise. Her shoulders heaved with every breath, weakly refilling her lungs with air.

Joohyun was scared at how relieved she was. As usual, she decided not to think too hard about it. Tried to not think about the heat seeping through her skin where Wendy’s fingers were, and tried not to think about how despite the situation, how snug Wendy’s body had fit into her own.

“I really still affect you like that, Wendy? After all these years? Move on already!” Irene said, an panicked but malicious undertone in her words.

Wendy brought her eyes to look at Joohyun’s, and Wendy’s eyes pooled with hurt. She squeezed Joohyun’s shoulders excessively before letting go.

“Do you really have to be such an all the time?” she seethed, the wounded look in her eyes sending frigid ice down Irene’s spine.

Wendy pushed her away, and retreated into her own room, loudly slamming and locking the door behind her.

All Irene could do was watch her go. Again.

A wave of nausea washed over her, thinking about the time where she cried in the girl’s bathroom, pushing Wendy away came second nature at this point.

Maybe some things don’t change.

hey guys!!! wow its been awhile... :') i've been super busy trying to adjust to college and whatnot so i haven't gotten the chance to write or edit chapters.... and midterms are coming up. is it rlly any surprise that i'm procrastinating homework as i upload this? probably not. aksjdk. follow me on twitter @/sapphicirene for limited updates on me n my life bc whew college rlly be putting me through it LOL