Hi Everyone

I know I know. I haven't uploaded in a long time. I apologise once again. 

But I've been busy at work. I have rewritten this chapter a few times. 

I had more to this chapter. But I realised that would be too long. So I have cut it and put it in the next chapter. 

I've put flashbacks in a different font. In case the editor does somethign weird to my fonts, I have changed the colour as well. Hopefully it doesn't bother you. 

As the school year comes nearer to an end. Hopefully I have more time to write. 

 

On another note. I can't help but be sad over the fact that there are NO Changyoon fanfic updates. 

But probably most people are busy. So hopefully one day there is enough time and inspiration for the amazing Changyoon authors to write again. 

For now I will only have to cherish and reread the wonderful existing fics again. I will continue waiting patiently. 

Happy reading everyone. 

Isabelle_jmy

 

P.S. Did anyone notice my new poster? I am in love with it. Thanks to Pepi's poster shop. 

Until next time. Bye!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Four - Hints and Misunderstandings 

Yoona asks Hyoyeon specifically to sit in the window seat. She stares outside the window as the plane takes off and begins its ascent. As she spots the Burj Khalifa, Changmin’s words come to her mind.

As the music fountain comes to a pause, they still stay in silence, and instead shift their focus on the Burj Khalifa instead.

“I looked forward to this trip” he says quietly. Yoona turns to hear him out, but he does not explain any further.

“Why?” she finally asks after not hearing a response from him for a while.

He looks down at her staring directly into her twinkling eyes. Yoona’s heart skips a beat but she does not move. ‘Because I’d at least have a chance to see you’ he thinks to himself. 

“You really want to know?” he asks and considers for a long moment. It is the second time he tests the waters tonight. But as usual, he decides not to voice the answer aloud.

Instead, he just gives her a gentle smile and a shrug. Yoona finds it difficult to read. Unable to bear her lost expression, he adds

“Just that I think Dubai will be a memorable place for me” he says

Yoona agrees. As the plane climbs higher in altitude and the city becomes smaller and smaller as it is left behind. She takes a peek at the 3D puzzle tucked safely in the souvenir bag under the seat in front of her. Dubai now has a special place in her heart and she all she can bring back with her are the memories of the fun, the joy and him.

***

Yoona reaches Changmin’s apartment complex knowing fully well that he would not be home until tonight. But she had no choice, her schedule has been packed ever since she got back from Dubai three days ago.

His schedule is no better than hers. He had to leave for Japan the next day after they got back. So, as a result, they have not seen each other ever since. She only managed to find an opportunity to visit this morning – just before she heads for another set of schedules lined up for the rest of the day.

The security guard let Yoona into the building, making her life a tad easier. This way at least she can leave her gift outside his apartment door.

She leaves no note or name, hoping he’d be able to guess who it is from. Knowing Changmin he should be smart enough to figure it out.  She can also only hope that he returns home soon to find it waiting safe and sound.

 ***

Changmin arrives at his apartment later that night. But when he reaches his doorstep, he stops, finding a bag sitting outside his door. Inside is a neatly wrapped gift.

He immediately unfolds the wrapping paper, expectant to find a pleasant surprise. However, he is overcome with a wave of disappointment and confusion when he finds the contents of the gift.

He picks it up nevertheless and brings it in with him, placing it dejectedly on the closest bench he could reach.

‘why?’ he thinks and checks his phone for any missed calls or messages

***

Changmin and Yoona have had several things that have been left unanswered or unclarified and those misunderstandings are still left until today.

One of the most notable ones was of course about the beautiful Victoria. Everyone in SM and the wider industry kind of accepted that she and Changmin may have been more than friends. How they always had been too close (along with Kyuhyun). But that was not the way it was even meant to be.

It all started with what equates to a series of misunderstandings and bad timing for how Changmin and Yoona ended up with their respective ‘interests’ instead. And that was how they ended up missing each other yet again.

To be fair, it may have been a combination of the fancam footage and the fans that took it, misinterpreted it with their wild imagination and rumour spreading comments that blew it out of proportion.

The so-called evidence was one piece of footage from the ending stage of SMTOWN concert in Shanghai back in 2010.

***

Smtown in Shanghai 2010

After all the artists bowed in the middle stage, they headed back to the main stage. Changmin reaching first. Not long after, he was joined by Kangta and Yunho clung to his shoulders. He was waving his arms along with the song.

But all the while in the corner of his eye he kept track of his favourite doe eyed hoobae. She was too busy Hyoyeon to notice him as she almost brushed past him to find a spot to his right.

Perhaps Yoona had done it on purpose, keeping her back to him as she walked. That was one of the ways Yoona resorted to in order to keep distance from him. This way, she would her heart would not have a chance to flutter the way it does whenever he is around.

More artists gathered and the gap between them increased. But he did not miss the moment when Yoona was running off to the other side of stage with Hyoyeon. Not many people noticed because they were all facing the crowd. But Changmin turned just in time to see the back of her as she left. He even turned to have a better look.

Perhaps it was that movement that made it seem like something else. So, it was this moment that had given fans a chance to fuel their imagination from a badly angled fancam that is. By the angle he turned his head, keen shipping fans easily influenced others to think he was looking into the direction of Song Qian who happened to stand 2 spots away from him. But in fact, Changmin himself didn’t even know until the video came to his (and netizens’) attention.

After that video became a rather discussed topic, even Victoria herself had confronted him that she had seen the video and questioned whether he had taken an interest in her.  

Admittedly he could see where Victoria was attractive (as people had pointed out to him previously), but he never really pondered on the fact. After all, he had his eyes on someone else.  So he denied it of course.

However, with the furiously spreading rumours, and Yoona’s busy schedule, he had no chance to see her again. Yoona had disappeared off his radar for a while.

And that was because Yoona had sensed that she needed to keep distance. Part of the reason was that she may be perceived as too close to him and the other part, it hurt thinking about it  (let alone to think about him). She kept herself busy with schedules from variety to dramas and CFs including Caribbean Bay.   

Changmin recalls that it was around that time where rumours of Taecyeon dating Yoona had resurfaced. And to his dismay, a lot of people were supportive of it. He on the other hand didn’t like that one bit. Can’t people see he’s not right for her?

He was thinking out loud once and Minho who just heard it from beside him agreed. Changmin is grateful that Minho kept quiet about it though.

But there was nothing much else he could do about it. And as fate likes to play its tricks, things started turning out the opposite way to how he ever hoped. 

Late 2010

Yoona, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Luna and Victoria were rehearsing their dance battle with Taemin, Eunhyuk and Minho when Changmin comes in with drinks for everyone in hand. Everybody rushes towards him and thanks him.

That was almost everybody. Yoona keeps her distance in the far corner of the room.

 Minho throws his arm around him.  

"Hyung, you're a rare guest." He teases cheekily.

"I came to cheer you on" Changmin says bluntly, without much expression.  

"of course you did." Minho replies sarcastically. "You came to see…" he turns to the direction of Yoona. At the sign of that, Yoona quickly looks away as if she had not been sneaking glances at him all this time.   

Changmin elbows Minho who winces in pain just when Victoria comes along and punches Changmin in the arm. To others, it was a sign of how close they are. He feigns pain although it did not hurt at all. He takes the opportunity to sneak a peek at someone else behind Victoria.

But Yoona had already completely turned away; with her back facing him.

"See? I knew you'd come to see me. Kyuhyun now owes me two meals. Ha!" Victoria says triumphantly.

"I came to see Minho" he bluntly corrects

"Ehh I can see right through your lies. As if you did." She says confidently.

 Yoona who was passing them to exit the room, catches part of the conversation and hesitates half a moment before taking her leave. She contemplates whether to acknowledge him, whether she should use thanking him for the food as an excuse. But she decides against it, considering he had company anyway,

But even so, it is too late for Changmin to catch on to her and explain properly.

It was not long after did he actually see Yoona wearing the infamous golden ring. He even got to see it up close when she was tucking her hair behind her ear when she was greeting both him and Yunho on the Japanese music show – Music Station. The only happy memory from that day was when she was the first to notice and laugh at how out of breath he was after their performance.    

But it was enough to cover up the painful fact that she was with someone else now. That was when what was left of his hopes had died. He gave in.

Maybe he could give Victoria a chance?  

***

Victoria and Changmin never really got past the getting to know each other stage (even though they were friends to begin with). He had even brought her home to introduce her to his mother and sisters (who didn’t really seem convinced).

Changmin felt growing a suspicion that Kyuhyun had a level of affection for Victoria (if not even more than what Changmin has for Victoria). He had never noticed before. Either he was never paying enough attention or Kyuhyun never showed it. He felt it was unfair that Kyuhyun became the third wheel, and things felt awkward. Things just didn't feel right (And Victoria complained once in a while that she prefers to be alone with him).

It did not take long for Changmin and Victoria to work out their personalities weren’t a match. So they went back to being friends. But the rumours were never clarified. Instead, they often resurfaced, as people started to believe that it was an on-off relationship.  This decision may have hurt the connection between Changmin and Yoona a little more than he would have ever wanted.

In the midst of their unconfirmed, on-off ambiguity, Yoona had realised something else. Something had happened closer to home. 

It didn’t take long for Yoona to pick up the fact that Seohyun had developed a crush on Changmin. It first surfaced when they were promoting as TTS.

[early 2012]

Taeyeon and Tiffany were teasing her about it as soon as they got home from filming their reality show with tvxq and suju members. Yoona did have an inkling of doubt that Taeyeon and Tiffany were just making it up or exaggerating (or so a part of Yoona had secretly hoped). But all it took for Yoona to do was to watch the broadcast – of how they talked about their ideal type on the show and how she fed him a meat wrap – to confirm they were actually right. Seohyun had developed a liking for Changmin and this time she was not hiding it.  

It triggered a nagging feeling in Yoona’s chest. It unsettled her.      

But who could blame Seohyun afterall? He has so many qualities that make him attractive, and Yoona saw all of them since the beginning (probably not the beginning but you know what I mean). It was just that she kept her affection well-hidden. It was just that she had always disguised it well beneath the pretence of distancing herself and being nothing more than an oppa-dongsaeng relationship (probably because she often acted like a boy).

But she was supportive of her maknae, teasing her along with the other members. And she thought that Changmin would probably be more attracted to someone like Seohyun. After all, Seohyun had matured and at the same time become more fun and lady-like. Maybe their maknae would stand more of a chance than herself Yoona would try and convince herself.

So she tried to make it a point to convince or throw him a hint when she had gotten the chance to. In other words, to .  

***

SMTOWN in Seoul 2012 – August 18^th 2012

Yoona had a few opportunities to try and say it. He was also in the flag raising event just like her. She was going to do it while they were gathered backstage and were about to go out. All she had to do was get close enough to tell him quickly about Seohyun. But as soon as she realised Victoria was also there, she had no choice but to back out.

She had gotten so close. She was standing next to him at one point. Her nervousness unsettled her stomach. She was fortunate he had not looked at her. So she tried to shift away quietly, her first step - pretend to be distracted by the We Got Married recruitment sign.

And Yoona managed to actually get distracted by it. So distracted that she had missed the fact that Changmin had also turned to look at the same thing and took a sideways glance at her momentarily.

But there were just too many people within the same place; too many eavesdroppers including backstage staff and stylists at the scene. So she gave up. But nevertheless, it did not leave her mind.

She tried again later in the evening, not having a chance until the HOPE ending stage. It was a good opportunity with enough activity onstage to keep the audience and fans distracted so that it may pass by unnoticed (or so she thought).

He had finished his high note and began heading towards where the rest of the SM artists (and fans) were standing. Yoona was waiting - pretending to engage with fans and waving her flag. She pretended to pay attention to and appeared as if she was enjoying the music.

As soon as he came by, she took her opportunity to swing her flag and hit him lightly.

She held her breath. What if he ignores me?

He turned to look back at her. The surprise in his eyes apparent.  Then came a grin; a familiar one and Yoona knew what that meant. His mismatched eyes met Yoona’s and he lifts his flag. She flinched and prepared herself.  But he did not actually hit her. She sighed an apparent breath of relief.  

It was as if they had become so close in that little instance and reignited from where they had left off. Her heartbeat thumped dramatically. But despite that feeling in her chest, it felt normal, as if it was like old times. She missed this feeling. They had not interacted since a while ago – maybe since the last show they were on together. But they had bridged the gap in no time.

As Yoona turned around, he had already left. But she understood it. He did not want to cause any burden just in case.

However, she had a purpose to speak to him. She was having so much fun she had almost forgotten about it. So Yoona mustered up her courage. She moved tentatively towards his direction, all the while waving her flag to fans and smiling.

It took a bit of work to find the opportunity after quite a while later, she indicated she needs to speak to him, he leaned down for her, taking out his in-ear earphones.

She was a bit surprised at the proximity and cannot get her sentence straight.

She curses inwardly at her drumming heart.

“Realised – you” She stumbled over her words

 “What did you say?” Changmin asked and leaned a little bit closer (that didn’t help for Yoona’s heart).

“You chose the same shirt design as Seohyun (out of all the ones he could pick from) you two make a good mat- “

But before he could roll his eyes in reaction and before she could finish. She is pulled away by fans.

She made a helpless expression to him but he couldn’t save her. Changmin pointed at her to laugh at her for her unsuccessful attempt at teasing him. His laugh came with his signature mismatched eyes and Yoona’s heart softened a little.  

Perhaps that is why she ended up smiling a little brighter for the fans’photo than she usually does. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him walk off as if nothing happened.

Changmin is known for his intelligence, he caught on and understood what she was intending to say. He is quite disappointed that she is even trying to pull the strings between him and Seohyun. But after all he cannot blame her. He never really let on his feelings nor has she.  But Changmin clarifies in his own way that it’s not true (and also trying to hint at something else).  

Beijing SMTOWN 2012

Changmin approached the costume station where the staff were handing out shirts of the different designs for the ending stage. Minho and Kyuhyun grabbed the design they always go for without hesitation.

Changmin on the other hand went for a different one this time – the rabbit looking creature. The other two noticed straight away because all three of them had agreed on the same one before (they even had a vote for it).

“Changmin, did you grab the right one?” Kyuhyun asked curiously and stopped Changmin in his tracks.  

 “This one’s cute isn’t it?” Changmin merely shrugged in response. Minho and Kyuhyun exchanged looks.  

“Yeah…but why?” Minho’s question was full of confusion. The youngest one stayed on the spot and looked befuddled. 

Changmin just shrugged again in response to the questioning looks.

“You hardly do cu-“ Kyuhyun tried to say. But Minho cut him off by nudging him in the ribs.

Then an idea suddenly hit Minho. All he had to do was confirm that whether Yoona was wearing the same shirt to answer his suspicions.

Minho made a trip to SNSD’s waiting room on purpose (not that he didn’t sometimes hang out there). Most of the members had changed into their ending stage T-shirts. As soon as he saw Yoona, he was triumphant. He curled his fist together and pulled it towards his body in celebration.

Yuri happened to notice and gave him a questioning look. He just gave her one of his signature smiles and dismissed himself from his sunbae’s.

As he left he made a mental note to point it out to Changmin later.

Changmin tried to make sure that Yoona saw his shirt this time. Not only to clarify her misunderstanding (and so she doesn’t ) but he also tried to hint that there may be someone else he preferred to match with. Her.

So, in the ending stage, after everyone finished singing. He chose to hang around the area where she was. Close enough to create an opportunity. He made his move very carefully, only moving back when she headed back to the main stage first. He followed suit. At one point he overtook her.

She had chosen the same design once again.

Yoona saw him out of the corner of her eye. He was turning up in front of her on purpose. She had spotted the shirt earlier on not long after they got on stage. But she was not in the position to make any reaction let alone go up to him about it. She realised she had been too careless last time. She was in front of a crowd.

But inside, she was laughing to herself. She amusedly thought that Changmin doesn't want to be teased. But she did not pick up the second hint or she didn’t dare to try to think about it at least (because how could it even be possible?)

She almost ended up next to him meaning she almost had a chance to hold hands with him. But she didn’t want that to happen. Her heart was already acting funny and beating too fast. She could not deal with it. So, she walked further up the queue. Changmin could only watch as she ran away yet again and disappeared amongst the other artists.

***

Those weren’t the only times he tried throw hints her way. Nor was it the only time Yoona tried to and Seohyun. It was his fault he did not clarify to Yoona that he had already told Seohyun they are just oppa-dongsaeng.  

*Summer 2015*

SNSD was filming at the Madame Tussard’s wax museum in Lotte World for their comeback promotion. They were all enjoying the tour, striking funny, outrageous and charming poses with the wax models.

But the highlight for Yoona had to be when she found the familiar face she e of the corners. She was the first to notice and react. Which would be no surprise because he was the closest labelmate to her (but nobody else knew).

“Annyeonghaseyo, we are So Nyuh Shi Dae” They collectively bowed and greeted as a joke. The members quickly rushed to the sunbae’s statues and quickly snapped shots.

The MC jumped at the opportunity

“How about a photo competition?” He suggested.

“Yes” Hyoyeon was the firstto agree.

“How about we do it in pairs?”Tiffany suggested, and started dividing the group.

Yoona stuck to Yuri. The two of them kept a close eye on Seohyun’s every move to find an opportunity to . Their maknae of course stands in front of Changmin (not that Hyoyeon was going to fight with her). Hyoyeon ever the clown stuck her hand on Yunho’s chest. The whole group and crew laughed at her.

Theyed watch as Seohyun guided Hyoyeon to change their pose, and wrapped their arms around the guys’ necks and pouted their lips into a kissing pose.

Yuri and Yoona squealed in reaction. It made Seohyun blush, but unlike the past Seohyun she didn’t run nor shy away.

Yoona had her phone out snap a shot of the scene just in time. She sent it to none other than Changmin.

When their turn came around, Yoona and Yuri decided to do a back hug. They had  a few minor technical difficulties as they weren’t tall enough and they couldn’t wrap their arms properly.

“Oppa, open your arms just a for a moment. Please!” Yoona yelled the wax figure Changmin in a casual way.

It made the crew laugh. And she was secretly proud of her quick thinking humour.  

When Yoona checked her phone to find a reply, she was confused to find that there wasn’t one. Even though it said that he had seen the message. That made her even more nervous and unsettled for the rest of the day. “Have I upset him?” she thought  to herself. She landed herself in a dilemma of whether to call and apologise.

But she got her answer when the show was broadcasted two weeks later. She had almost forgotten about it.

[…] _{received just now}

Yoona looked at the text and smiles, letting out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t ignoring her. She made a speedy reply.

[I reckon you look compatible as a couple] _{Sent just now}

[ I prefer back hugs]_{received just now}

Yoona’s heart immediately beat unnaturally faster as she stareed at the picture he sent.  Changmin had sent a picture of her backhugging his wax figure.

She was contemplating how to react. His reply had thrown her off balance. It took her a moment to compose herself again.

[Haha very funny] she decided to text in reply.

[No, you’re the funny one who told my wax figure to open up his arms]

[It was good wasn’t it?]

After she sent her final message, her phone started to ring in her hands. What made  her really gasp is was name on the screen.

“What now?” She asks in a half annoyed tone

 “If you want a back hug from me, all you have to do is ask” who knew her teasing bout would backfire like this?

“Oppa!” 

“Hey you started it.”  he complained while laughing. But it was true and Yoona admitted to it.

“yeah I did.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Nope. You can’t make me regret teasing you” Yoona says and chuckles cheekily

“You know Yoona” the change in his tone was sudden. But it was the tone itself that made Yoona alert. She adjusted her position to sit up straight. She held her breath.  “Seohyun and I are just friends. You know that right?” 

Yoona tried to register the information. She thought back to the way Seohyun was acting on the day. She seemed to still have something for Changmin.

“Have you… talked to her about it?” Yoona asked tentatively.  

“I had a serious talk to her and she said she understands”    

“Wait… when was this?” Yoona asked curiously trying to recall a time Seohyun may have been upset. But she cannot pinpoint one. Perhaps she was too busy or didn’t see Seohyun during that time. 

“Since before the time you asked me about the Moonlight prince broadcast” that was two years ago almost  

“oh” She blanks, dumbfounded.  “But- you should have told me”

“Um Yoona ssi, I tried telling you many times that we’re just friends, but you never believed me.”

 “Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you can say?”

“What else am I supposed to say?

“You owe me an apology?”

“Right. I’m so Sorry” The guilt didn’t take long to settle into Yoona. And she never brought the matter up ever again. Nor did it serve as an excuse for her to anymore.

***

photo credits to Butter, ChrizyLee

If any of you were curious about the fancam