Internally, Jeongyeon finds herself being destroyed like a hurricane. Her nails grip onto her own flesh, teeth gritted together; making sure the venom that threatens to spit from doesn't escape. Days begin and they end, Jeongyeon feigns her sanity. She smiles, laughs and jokes.

Nayeon tight by her side when she comes within reach, her destroyed and emotion-filled eyes scream into the dismissive eyes of the love of her life. Jeongyeon attempts to fill her ache with the soft pecks that nayeon will give in moments of passing, her hand will intertwine and squeeze just hoping that Nayeon will whisper words of comfort.

She silently and violently screams out for nayeon to want to read her, to reassure her, to want, to lust, and to love her. The days are so busy, she thumps her head over and over, each night against the shower of her hotel room. Her mind tries to picture the paths of the water that run down her back with simplicity, hair still half dry, stuck.

Jeongyeon pictures Chaeyoung, pictures her with Nayeon, and her nails run harshly along her collarbones. She's always known, known since the trainee days of all three of them together. Her heart hits her chest in pain as she allows herself to move, her face full under the shower head. Jeongyeon knows of the secret glances that each of them would give while the other would be preoccupied, unknowing of how their feelings were much more than just mutual.

The abrupt knock had her staring down at the porcelain floor, the authoritative voice of one of their many managers telling her to get a move on because she had been in there far longer than needed. Immediately she turned the nobs and now the bathroom only held the sound of her breathing. She got out calmly, dried herself thoroughly, and wrapped herself; all the while her mind could only picture her girlfriend in a heated lip-lock with the girl she truly loved.

The steps she took back out to the room seems almost out of body, she could see herself in such an internal war. Who was she supposed to talk with? How do you say that your conflicted on whether you think holding back two people from being with each other for your own selfish reason is justified? She knows she can't.

In a way, she loves having this control, loves bringing such agony to both of them. It's more of a demon she keeps about herself locked away, and never intended on letting out. Yet, it was so easy. Jeongyeon hadn't fallen before Chaeyoung, it was more, the observation of why Chaeyoung was falling in love made her fall in love with Nayeon too.

 Though, Jeongyeon felt that surely Chaeyoung would confess so that way she could bury what she did not want. Nothing came along, no confession from either side. Jeongyeon continued to fall, and she saw that so did Chaeyoung. Time passed and it passed and all she could see was the girl she wanted falling for someone who wasn't her, so yes, the envy and spite lived within her.

Yes, she confessed, she made Nayeon hers and she was awarded with an accepted heart. It was supposed to be so simple from that point, those beautiful eyes who only ever looked to Chaeyoung would look to her and would fall in love with her. Something had happened though, she knows it, and she feels it.

She won't lose though, Nayeon's hand was her reward for the pain and she wasn't going to give it away, even if it meant that she would continue to suffer, at least she won't be the only one this time.

-

-

Chaeyoung finds that Japan and Im Nayeon are a beautiful mixture, the eldest member works with a melodious hum and she can't un-notice it. She finds that time without noticing anything about her makes her hyper aware of every simple action. Though at times, her dark clouds resurface and of course it's at the moments of passing pecks and ten second back hugs. 

Her stomach with churn with ugliness and it's when she will jab her headphones in almost too painfully and play music at full volume so that in some hopes she can get lost in another world. Chaeyoung will walk herself to Tzuyu and Dahyun and with silent communication between the three of them, they squeeze her arms and pull her for a short walk to nowhere.

At the times when she draws, Mina will find her; her hands full of yarn and picks. They don't speak, it's a silent form of comfort that the older girl will give to her. Chaeyoung can tell that Mina wants to know, wants to know fully what had happened and what could be happening. She like Jihyo, although thankfully she pushes with soft stern eyes while her leader will glare at times, not liking the secrecy.

Momo and Sana help with that, they pull Jihyo before another step of intrusion is took because they know of how Chaeyoung can easily close off with too much pressure. They are the ones who act like they don't know of anything happening but they might know more than Chaeyoung even thinks.

Jeongyeon continues to be Jeongyeon and in a way that it seems a bit too much, as if she's pushing herself away from being concerned. While Nayeon will appear from corners, her light touches, soft whispers of appraisal of actions made through the passing day, and no matter if Chaeyoung will catch her, she will stare and take in the sight of her.

-

-

Nayeon finds herself on cloud nine, she goes day by day only to please herself. She knows that something is amiss with Jeongyeon and also knows of how Chaeyoung's eyes finally seem to get lost by her. It's the latter of the two that makes her not care enough to cater to Jeongyeon, instead she will always get a moment with Chaeyoung, to feel a patch of her skin, to hear the sharp intake of air at the surprise of whispered kind words, and to see the light shades of pink that will form by knowing of her watchful eyes.

Though, the glare of Jihyo is what causes her to cave, to let jeongyeon have light kisses, to hold her for short amounts of time, and to feel somewhat secure about what they have. Yet, she can see the despair in her longtime friends eyes. Her mind will tell her to comfort, to make her feel secure; yet her heart beats calmly and tells her to do nothing, that this is the only way that will make her understand.

She thinks that is what causes Jihyo to corner her on the last day in Japan, and with the demand of the truth, Nayeon gives her just that. Large eyes look back into hers full of unbelief as well as disappointment, she's told to cut it out and to do what is right for the sake of the group. Nayeon can only look to her with no emotion and respond with a half-assed nod. She can sense the anger that wants to dispel from her friend, but there is a facade to keep up with the other girls.

Jihyo leaves with a loud slam to shut her door and although it should make her feel sick to have upset one of her best friends, her heart again beats calmly, telling her that all will end well. 

Nayeon can only clutch onto her chest and silently hope that what it says is right.

a/n: and here is another update my friends, i hope you will enjoy this. know that i see all the comments and they make my heart feel warm. I appreciate your words very much. It makes writing feel all the more fulfilling. see you soon!

always smile,

tae.