JENNIE’S POV:

I had only ever recalled myself being a recipient of joy, of love, of care. My parents had always been ridiculously willing to splurge lavishly on my materialistic desires when I was younger, to the point I began taking overpriced Barbie dolls and alien plushies for granted. My older brother had always been ridiculously protective of me, I had long since lost count of the instances where he had single-handedly warded off any poor soul who had showed the tiniest bit of interest in me. Worst (or best, depending how you looked at it) of all, Jisoo was so generous, so selfless, taking me completely under her wing, making sure we spent fun times creating memories together, providing me with an avenue to vent my worries and frustrations. I perpetually received, but I never gave.

My relationship with Jisoo had blossomed at an unthinkably fast pace, we had practically become conjoined twins joined at the hip. She was quirky, some would say weird, but I found the pure randomness and silliness greatly endearing. For a soul like me, a pessimist with natural inclinations to negativity, her lame puns and randomly fluctuating levels of excitement helping me take my mind off the stress of being a student-athlete.

If there was anything I could possibly find frustrating about Jisoo, though, it was the fact she never ever showed her weak side. I would jump at the chance to offer her a listening ear, moral support if she ever needed it, but she presented herself as if she would never. As much as Jisoo was simple and easygoing, though, I knew there were instances where she was clearly bottling up angst. The days where she was exceptionally quiet, her mood far more downbeat and her quick wit not being put to use. The days where I was the one trying my hardest to lighten the mood(It seldom went well, I really wasn't a natural). The days where I felt more useless than ever.

All I had ever given others was disappointment and fear, and I was determined to make things right, even though I knew I would require every ounce of determination for my plans to be successful. However, as I gazed at the staggering array of gift cards laid out neatly on the shelves before me, I wondered if all the determination still wouldn’t be enough.

I’d never bought a birthday gift for anyone before. One reason was that those I held dear to me, my family, had never believed in the concept of birthday gifts. Gifts weren’t meant for special occasions. They were merely part and parcel of everyday life. (Of course, only those rich enough to purchase whatever they wanted whenever they wanted could relate.)

Another reason was that I never had many, if any at all, friends who I cherished with all my heart. My quest to achieve acceptance had been a spectacular failure, the only people I spent time with were selfish, narcissistic individuals who in actual fact couldn’t be bothered about me in the slightest. As much as I was appalled by the countless hours I had wasted away with those scumbags, I knew the experience was an important learning curve, and it had played a major role in allowing me to find someone like Jisoo in my life.

The thought of Jisoo reminded me of where I was and why I had made the trip to the gift shop, and I felt immensely conflicted yet again. I wanted to bestow upon her the most unforgettable birthday gift she would ever receive, yet I had no idea how to pick out the ideal gift. (Even if I had experience, my gut told me I wouldn’t be any good at it.)

My troubles were compounded even further by the fact Jisoo wasn’t a materialistic person. Chanel? Gucci? Prada? She’d dismiss them with barely a fleeting glance. Heck, if I were to have something that Jisoo didn’t, it would be money, and if money could solve my problems, I’d have purchased anything from laptops to cars for Jisoo in a heartbeat. The fact was, it couldn’t. Jisoo thrived on being a free spirit, she found happiness through experiencing everything there was to experience, and she couldn’t bear monotony.

I knew many people purchased gift cards for their loved ones on special occasions, like birthdays and Mother’s Day, but I had always failed to see the appeal of them. I picked out a colourful gift card, hoping it would allow me to open my eyes to the wonders of such presents. However, as I gazed at the eye-catching block letters in the colours of the rainbow, reading “Hope your big day is as magical and colourful as a rainbow!”, I couldn’t help but think these gifts weren’t exactly meaningful, and were purchased with little thought put into them. The designs were undoubtedly aesthetically pleasing, yet it seemed to lack a personal touch. Then again, considering just how many people in this world bought them, maybe it was just me being weird.

Weird or not weird, bottom line was that I was determined to get things done my way. And so I stepped out of the gift shop. I bypassed luxury brands and goods. And when I had my presents ready, I felt proud yet apprehensive. Stop fretting, Jennie, Jisoo’s a simple person, you didn’t overcomplicate things, it’s for the better. Either due to my naturally self-deprecating personality or due to the fact I was very much a novice, I was still riddled with insecurity about my decision, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I had made a good move. As I paced around the apartment restlessly while I awaited Jisoo’s arrival, I prayed for beginner’s luck to shine bri