Beeping sounds of different machines. Shouts of pain from diffrent patients. And a sorrowful crying of some family for their love ones who passed away. A typical day for me. It didn't change a bit. I'm still here, lying in this white cold bed, staring at nothing, and doing nothing, but to pray to that someone to give me more time to live. I am hopeless. I couldn't do anything. I'm still in between of dying and living. 

They known me for being the Happy Virus of this goddamn hospital. But, they didn't know that behind those smiles and laughs of mine, hides the lifeless and hopeless Chanyeol. There's no day that I haven't thought of killing my own self, to make it less painful. But, before I could even do that, my friends images will suddenly apperead in my head. 

Kyungsoo is still fighting to his lung cancer, and doing some progress. Jongin, well, he's not dealing with any cancers and organ failure, his car just happened to bump into a tree (his car wanted to date the tree, he said). He's not that critical, but decided to stay here and be with us. Jongdae is a doctor, (and he's actually my surgeon), and his boyfriend, Kim Minseok, is my nurse. We get along well since Jongdae and I have the same hyper personality, and Minseok was still being patient with us. Sehun and Luhan, that lover, were both dealing with depression. And now, they are doing fine (because they met us, they both said). Yixing was always here, to make an everyday check-up for his asthma, with his super supportive husband Jumnyeon (mind you, they are freaking rich).

And then, there were Yifan and Tao, they're in a relationship, by the way. I was the first one who got here in this hospital, then Tao came and next was Yifan. We three, are the first ones who became friends, until everyone in our gang came. Those two are now free to a brain tumor. The doctors said they can now leave the hospital, but they didn't want to since we're still here. They choose to stay than visiting us everyday. 

And then, me. I was the first one that got here and I guess the first one who will leave this place. They still have the chance to live, while me, was dying everyday. Jongdae told me, that my condition was getting worst and worst with each passing days, and he told me too that surgeries can't do anything about my condition. One of those reasons why I should really take that rest. 

 

 

"Guysue!! I have some news for you!!" Jongdae's high tone of voice does snapping me out of my trance. Jongdae comes into the view, sitting beside Yifan, with Minseok-hyung following him while shooking his head. As expected, while Jongdae was telling some of his news, half of the group-- well, scrathced that! Everyone were not paying much attention to him, even Minseok, his own boyfriend. "I just heard this news from my co-surgeons, and I was shocked to hear it," he said, while chewing his sandwich. 

"I swear if you guys would hear it you will be shock too," Jongin just sighs and shooks his head, when his boyfriend, Kyungsoo grabs Jongdae's collar and glares at him. "Just get to the point, !" I just heard beside me, Luhan who's muttering "What the hell's wrong with them this time?" and Minseok sighing and also saying "Better remind myself to punish Jongdae later for being so loud in public and not when we're making love." I just laughs queitly, knowing the these idiots are my reason to keep on fighting keeping myself alive.

"Let go of me, ! Can't you be a little patient?" Kyungsoo struggles his shoulder off and continue eating his hospital foods. Jongdae fixed his coat before clearing his throat, "You do all know who owns this hospital right?" we all nods. He looks around and leans a little bit more closer to us, he motion us to do the same and we curiously obeys him. "The Byuns, has a youngest son, I guess Byun Bacon? it sounds like that... ah, Byun Baekhyun was the name," we nods. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and did some typings to it. We exchange glances to each other, because Jongdae rarely becomes this serious. And it's creeping us out.

"This is Byun Baekhyun, in case you still haven't seen him in your entire life. All doctors and nurses have his picture, and this morning, I found out about this news." I looks at the picture. I didn't know that such a beauty was possibly existing. Ash gray hair was messily arranged to his forehead, cute puppy eyes, botton nose, and that rosy-pouty lips, and his pale skin that can be compared to a snow. I looks up when Jongdae clears his throat. "He's... well, how can I say this without offending you?" he then looks at me. I curiously looks at him and then looks at the others. They are curious as hell as I am.

"He's dying, as simple as that." we turns to look at Minseok. He's eating a sandwhich and acting like he didn't said a big news to us. "How?" I asks. Everyone waits for an answer, and we became more and more impatient when Jongdae takes his time for drinking his coffee. "You're such a tease, Chen!" Sehun whines like a kid. We all groans making Chen to smirk, "I'm waiting for you to react guys, what took you so long?" if Jongin and Sehun weren't holding Luhan and Kyungsoo back, then maybe, Chen is now lying dead in this crowded place.

"Ah, it's so much fun to be Chen," he laughs to his own joke. Was he joking when he said that? As this moment, I just feel the urge to punch Jongdae. Why is that? "So okay, I just found out when I check the files of him. According to it, he's having a bone marrow transplant plus a lungs cancer. Dr. Lee gave him 6 months to live." he sighs, rubbing his temple and looks away. His eyes lands to one particular table, there, laughing and talking a family like they're not facing a problem. "You're with the same age as Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and it's really sad because he was hyper and happy-go-lucky like you back then... and now..." 

"I met him once, we talk and we laugh, he said I am now his friend. He said, he wanted me to become his surgeon, but he also said he didn't want to if I'm already a surgeon for other kid. He don't want to stole me from you, Chanyeol." we didn't know that Jongdae has a connection with the Byun kid. Is that why, he was serious earlier when he said he has a news? And I feel guilty, I don't know why but I am. Why was he thinking about the others? He owns the hospital, he could make an order to the stuffs to make Jongdae his sergeon, but he didn't because of me? 

"And now... whenever I'm visiting him, we will talk, I laugh, but he still remain wearing those poker face and frown. And earlier, before I fetch Minseok and came here, he was having his last message for me... that kid deserves to live! Why couldn't he?!" we watched as Jongdae slams the table hard and walks away while shedding a tear we didn't know he could have. The hyper and troller Jongdae was gone, and now replaced by the broken and sad Chen. "You can't blame him if he acts like that," we turns to look at Minseok whose staring at nowhere. Eyes fixed to the ceiling and playing with his food.

"Everyone who knows that kid, acts like him. They cried, and still crying when the news broke. If you could just see how they look so wrecked like Jongdae, you will surely think, "is that kid was this special?" "why did they love him so much?" "why are they so sad, when they're not blood related to him?" believe me, I also asked myself... but after knowing that kid, I can now understand why..." 

 

 

And because of that day when Jongdae acts like that in front of us, and when Minseok-hyung talks like it's the end of the world.. my life suddenly changed. I never knew that some kind of song can tell about Baekhyun and I's story. All the pain, all the sadness, all my feelings. I love him so much, so much that I can follow him. I miss him, and he miss me too. Just this one final song, I can now see you again. Can you wait for me?

I taps the start botton. I smile when I heard the music starts it's intro. I slowly closes my eyes as the memory of me and Baekhyun suddenly plays in my head...

 

 

Turn around...
Turn around and fix your eye in my direction,
So there is a connection...

It was a sunny day, when I decided to go out of the hospital and tour myself around. My sister Yoora was there to accompany me, pushing my wheel chair while talking about her job. Father and mother finally let her to get her future job, and not to runs our family business. They won't gonna force her again to handles our business like they did to me when I still haven't learn about my condition. She said, because they are too focus on their job, they forgot that they still have a children who were waiting for them to go home. They regret everything. She also said that my parents will visit me tomorrow.

"Hey Channie," I looks at my sister. She flashes a smile on me and motion for me to look at something. I curiously look at her, "Is that Byun Baekhyun? The hospital's son owner?" I finally look where she's looking at. I found him there. Sitting at one of the benches and facing the clear blue sky while his eyes were close. As the sun shines under him, something sparkles to his face, and then it hits me. I asks myself back then, "why is he crying?" 

And it all started that day. I'll ask Jongdae or Minseok-hyung to accompany me at the hospital's garden to check if Baekhyun is doing well or not. I became a stalker. Whenever he goes, I will follow him, to make sure that he won't hurt himself or other's hurting him. Everyday, I'm watching him from a far, doing his daily routine. Sometimes, I will find myself smiling whenever I will see him smiling secretly. It was a relief because until now, he had no idea that he has a stalker. It's still dissapointing, because all those days that I'm behind him, he still haven't looking at my direction, and he still haven't caught me staring at him from a far.

 

 

I can't speak...
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection...

One time, Luhan and Kyungsoo suddenly asks me when we were having a dinner at the cafeteria. Like our daily routine. "I heard some news to Jongdae, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo looks at me while smirking and that made me gulps, not knowing what will I'm going to do. "Minseok even gave me these pictures of Chanyeol being a tall creepy stalker," Luhan waves his hand while holding some photos. I caught a glipse of one of those pictures. Me standing behind a tree while staring at Baekhyun while he's reading a book. It was captured yesterday. At the garden, of course.

Luhan and Kyungsoo tease me, and I can't believe that Yifan, Tao and Yixing even made a shipping name for me and Baekhyun. ChanBaek or BaekYeol. I love the name thou, so I let them tease me. I just find myself smiling proudly while they were teasing me to make a move to talk to Baekhyun. Of course I said I will, but I didn't know that it was really this hard.

I tried to talk to him. I tried to approach him. I tried to greet him. I tried to walk in front of him. It all failed. I can't. I just couldn't. I can't speak. There's this point that when I'm about to open my mouth, words won't come out. It's like my voice suddenly hide behind my tongue. I even asked myself, what the hell's wrong with me. I don't know, but I feel like my brain suddenly shut itself down. I can't captured his attention, even just a single glance or something. I'm always staring at his perfection, but why can't he notice my existance? I'm not blaming him thou, but why can't he? I think I like him.

 

 

Take a look at me so you can see,
How beautiful you are...

It was such a heartbreaking view for me if you ask me. There's this day when I asked Kyungsoo, Luhan and Yixing to accompany me to stalk Baekhyun around, I was excited to see him that time... but I didn't expect to see such a view that made me want to punch anyone. "Hyung! What are these?! Why do I have these bruises?! What the hell's wrong with me this time??!!" he's pretaining to his bruises. I heard from Jongdae that Baekhyun's condition was getting more and more dangerous. Jongdae also mentioned to me that what happened to Baekhyun is one of those effects of having a low bone marrow.

"Don't look at me!! I'm so ugly! Don't you ing dare to touch me!! Go away!!! Don't look at me, I'm so disgusting!!!" I want to tell him to stop, but I can't since he didn't even know me. I want to tell him to look at me, look at my eyes so he can see that he's not ugly. He's beautiful, even with those bruises. I want to tell him how beautiful he is, how much I'm falling for him. And that day, he shuts everyone out of his room. He refuse to drink his medication, he refuse the doctors (even Jongdae) he locks himself up, and I was like dying with each passing hours. What the am I going to do?

 

 
You call me a stranger,
You said I'm a danger,
All these thoughts are leaving you tonight...

It was such a long week. Baekhyun locks himself for almost 3 weeks, and I was sitting to the floor outside of his room. Hoping and waiting for him to open up the door and see his beauty again. And btw, I met his brother Byun Baekbeom while I'm standing outside his room. And he also know about me being Baekhyun's stalker, and what I didn't expect from him was to thank me. "I'm so thankful that my brother has you. If it wasn't for you, I guess my brother was now long gone." I curiously looks at him. I didn't get what he was talking about, but decided to struggles it off.

It was late at night, in the middle of the night rather, when the door opens. I didn't have enough the time to run and hide from him, but I was shock. "Hey stranger! How are you? Still stalking me?" yeah, indeed, it was a shocking view and event for me. There he was, leaning against the door while looking down and smiling at me. He offers his hand to me, and I hesitantly takes it. His hand was so soft, so I held his hand gently. He looks away to me, and I didn't miss to see his blushing cheeks. "You know, you are such a danger. Why do you have to come when I'm giving up to continue living?"

 

 

I'm broken and abandoned,
You are an angel,
Making all my dreams come true tonight...

Broken? Yes. Why? Because I'm dying. It hurts so much that when you die you will leave the people who loves you. It hurts knowing that you can't be with them anymore. I feel like I'm abandoning them. But, because I have him beside me, I will fight, he will too. We will fight, because we want to be with them, I want to be with him. I'll fight till my last breath. If I have to beg the divinity, then so bet it. As long as I can see him everday, as long as I can touch him, as long as I'm still alive. I will beg for more time.

"Is it possible to have an angel puppy? You know, don't mind me because I love you sooo muucchh," I know that I can die any minute, seconds or day, and so is Baekhyun, but it didn't stop us for loving each other. Guess what? I really love Baekhyun and I made him my boyfriend!! "CheesYeol!! You should thank me because I love you too." it's our daily routine. To tell I love you's to each other everday, seconds or minutes, because we didn't know if it's our time or not. Our illness won't stop us from loving each other. It's just me and Baekhyun. 

I couldn't wish for more, because Baekhyun is enough. He made my dreams come true, he made it possible. But sometimes, Baekhyun couldn't help but to cry. Cry because he wants to give me a child, but he can't since he's in a critical condition. The doctors said, if Baekhyun gets well, he can be pregnant, but it's impossible. I told him that it was fine, besides I have him. There's this one day that Baekhyun came running to me while smiling happily, "I met a girl Chanyeol!! She's so cute and sweet. I love that kid!!" and then we met Mihna. Baekhyun really treats him like his own daughter, and seeing him happy like this made me happy too.

This is my dream. To see Baekhyun smiling happily. He made it possible... 

"Hey Stranger? You know that I love you, right? Don't forget that, uh? I really really really really love you. Fighting..." 

And his last words made my dream crushed. He abandoned me, left me with a broken heart and crying for him. I finally answer myself that time, "It is. It's possible to have an angel puppy..." 

 

 

I opens my eyes as those memories comes to me like an old video. I shakes my head as I sits up and looks around. "Did you slept well?" I shakes my head. I grabs my phone and taps the pause botton before looking at Minseok-hyung, "Still having those nightmares?" I nods. Sighing deep before leaning my back to the headboard. The door flew open and came the running Jongdae. "Why are you in such a hurry?" I asks him as he is catching air. He points at the door, "Kyungsoo is on his way to the operating room. He said, wish him a good luck." I looks away. I runs my fingers to my hair. "Good luck then."

You know, I really hate operations, well, whatever, I hate the whole hospital. Whenever I will hear 'operation' I can't help but to think the operation of me and Baekhyun, and it didn't go well. I hate remembering those days. "You should forget those memories, Chanyeol. Just think the happy memories of that time, when you stalk him, when you met him and when he became your boyfriend. You should do that." I know. But it's just too hard to forget. I tried my best, but it didn't work. "I'm still trying. I wish I can do that," I smiles weakly to them. Jongdae pats my head and Minseok-hyung kisses my temple.

"We know you can, sweetie. You are strong." Jongdae left before biding a goodbyes and kisses to Minseok-hyung. He said he will check the others and try to calm Jongin down because he's freaking out and making a big scene outside the O.R. I can't help but to remember the time when Baekhyun went to that room. He smiles at me, saying that everything is going to be fine. He said he will be back before I could even say 'I love you' to him, but he didn't make it. I couldn't remember how many times I say I love you just to wake him up. He abandoned me just like that. I was left all alone and wanting to take my own life just to follow him.

"Don't think too much, Chanyeol. Kyungsoo will be fine, he's strong. He will live." I smiles weakly. Looking at the white ceiling and plays with my fingers. "Baekhyun said he will be fine too, he said he's strong so he will fight and live. What happened to those?" I thought he was doing fine. The bone marrow transplant were doing fine and he's body seems to be adapting the medications. He's bruises were long gone forgotten. Me? I am now free from a heart failure. Remember Mihna? The girl that Baekhyun really loves? She died because of a brain tumor.

Her parents suddenly visit me and they said that Mihna wants to donate her heart to me, and after that day, the operation started. And now I'm here, kicking and still alive, just like I want. "What happened to Kyungsoo?" I happily smiles at him. He rubs his tired eyes and looks at me and Minseok-hyung. I help him to seat since he couldn't because of our baby. Anytime now he can be in labor, so I decided to take him to the hospital and confine him. "He's going on an operation today." he then turns to look at me. I puts my hand to his waist and pulls him closer to me.

"Did you slept well, Baekhyun?" he leans his head to my shoulder. He nods and interwine our fingers. I couldn't hide the smile that is making it's way to my lips. He didn't changed a bit. Between me and him, he's the one who really loves skinship, I didn't find it clingy thou because I love it. I love the feeling of his cold-soft fingers holding me, I love the feeling of him being by my side. "How are you Baekhyun? Do you feel any pain by now?" Minseok-hyung asks him while he's checking Baekhyun's vitals. Baekhyun says 'no' and looks up and flashes a smile on me. "Kyungsoo will live. I know he will."

Baekhyun died. He's 10 minustes dead, and I was like losing my hope when he suddenly opens his eyes. Mihna also donated her lungs for Baekhyun. She said, she wants to see me happy and Baekhyun too while she's watching us from above. She said, if she died, she will guide me and Baekhyun. And thanks to her, we are now happy while living with our normal life. I became a famous rapper like I wanted to since I was a kid, and Baekhyun was there to support me. Thou, he will always cry because of many girls and guys that are trying to flirt to me. But I didn't give a because Baekhyun is the one that I love and needed.

And Baekhyun here is pregnant and became a famous writer. He writes about life, how hope can do to your life, how God is merciful and will send someone to help you when you are leading the wrong path. And I became a proud husband. Yes, we are married. After the doctors confirmed that we are now free, I decided to propose to him, and a month later, I married him. My life isn't perfect, I agreed, but as long as I have Baekhyun and our babies on the way, for me I'm good. I couldn't wish for more, because having them by my side made my wish come true. 

Mihna can you see us up there? We are now living without worrying that we might die any minute now. You see, Baekhyun and I are expecting a twins, a girl and a boy. We decided to name the boy Park Jae Yeol and the girl is after you and Baekhyun, Park Hyun Mihna. I promise to protect them just like you promise to guide us up there. 

"Hey Stranger?" I looks down to Baekhyun. He holds my hand and place it on his huge belly, he then leans to kiss me. Calling me Stranger is one of those hobbies of his, and hearing that word from him makes me smile. "You will always remain as my stranger stalker, yeah?" I nods and leans to kiss him down. He holds my hand tight as he flashes a huge smile on me.

 

"They are coming..."

 

 

The End ~