Changes

My Guardian... Demon?

The rest of the night passed like some blissful dream, and how Haneul ended up outside Sandeul's house, she wasn’t quite sure. Her mind was still absorbed in the kiss on the edge of the dock, while fireworks blasted overhead and the moonlight shone down on them. The gentle feeling of Baro's lips, soft against her own, still lingered, and she raised a hand to run her fingertips across as if to make sure that they weren’t there still. She remembered the scene so vividly, every scent, every sight, every feeling, but yet when Sandeul rushed her to her bedroom and demanded to hear the details, she could not describe it.

“It was… Magical,” she told him finally. It was the closest she could get to illustrating the moment, and her mind was still in a daze. Slowly, as her wits came back to her, she could relate the events of the night to her excited best friend, and they stayed up late into the night reveling in Haneul's riveting date. Of course, she tweaked the bits where they had been sailing in the sky, opting instead for a lavish description of a walk to the beach and back, but Sandeul was too happy for her to consider that she was concocting some sort of fantasy. Sandeul fell asleep at the foot of her bed, but Haneul found sleep difficult to come by, and so she just laid in bed staring at the ceiling while her heart hammered away in her chest.

However, eventually she did fall asleep. She woke late in the day, when the sun was almost to it’s highest point in the sky. Sandeul had at some point awoken and exited the room, and the house was silent as she got herself ready and wandered downstairs for breakfast. According to the note that Sandeul’s mother had left, the family had left to run some errands, and had not wished to disturb her after her exciting night. As she sat at the kitchen table munching on some toast and contemplating what she would do to occupy her relatively open day, she decided that it was a perfect opportunity to pay a visit to her mother's grave.

The weather mirrored Haneul's blissful mood. As she strolled down the sidewalk, the yellow sun grazed brightly in a cloudless sky, bathing the world in its life-giving light. It was colder now that the autumn months were setting in, but the air was crisp and cool, still warm enough for Haneul to get away with a light sweater. The leaves were steadily falling; they danced on the wind as she passed by, fluttering gently to the ground and crunching beneath her feet. A few birds still lingered in the area, and filled the air with their cheerful song. The peaceful atmosphere put a smile on the girl's face, even more than the notion that Baro had reciprocated her feelings.

The graveyard was empty as Haneul entered. The metal on the iron gate was cold despite the burning sun in the sky overhead, a testament to the autumn chill. The few trees in the cemetery had shed almost all of their leaves, and with every footstep, the girl crushed a handful of them. She counted the rows as she strolled confidently across the grass. She was not nervous, like the first time; if anything, she was looking forward to informing her mother on the recent events. When she arrived at the correct row and made to walk to her mother's headstone, however, she halted in her tracks, amazed by the person she saw kneeling before the cold, hard rock. He was speaking softly to it, and she tip-toed forward, carefully avoiding stepping on the crunchy leaves so that she might hear what he was saying.

“I’m sorry,” Gongchan sighed miserably as he kneeled over the grave, his head hanging and his white wings curled around himself. He had his sword laying across the grass, as if he were offering it up to Haneul's deceased mother. “I know you never knew me, but even so, I feel that I owe you this apology,” he frowned awkwardly. Haneul could not help but wonder what he felt the need to apologize to her mother for; she had never been his responsibility. Still, he bowed his head further in shame, his voice trembling as he continued to speak. “I have failed her. The one who meant the most to you.”

Is he… talking about me? She wondered as she edged closer, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“I was not the guardian I should have been. If I had just done something, you would still be here…” the guilt-ridden angel reached forward to gently run his fingers over the top of the smooth rock. “She wouldn’t have been so sad… And I was blind, on top of that. I could not see the truth of what Dong-woo was, and now she is in terrible danger… And there is little I can do to protect her.” Even after everything that has happened, he still thinks of me, she thought with a pang of sadness. She stepped forward once more, but made the mistake of stepping on one of the discarded leaves. It crunched under her feet, and was just enough to alert the angel to her presence. He jerked to his feet, whipping the sword from its scabbard. She gasped as the glittering material sliced through the air, and the tip of the sword came to rest at . Her eyes widened as she instinctively stood stock-still, but she was not afraid. “Haneul!” he gasped when he realized who was at the other end of the blade, and he hastily lowered it and bowed. “My apologies. I didn’t realize it was you. Excuse me; I was just leav-"

“No, don’t go!” she cried. Desperately, she grabbed onto the sleeve of his white coat. He froze, staring down at her fingers curling around the fine material. “Please,” she insisted, and he gradually relaxed, and slid the blade back into the scabbard.

“Very well,” he murmured reluctantly, and she released her grip on his clothes. He stood awkwardly in front of her, avoiding meeting her gaze, and she found herself unsure what exactly she wanted to say in the first place.

“Um… How is your shoulder?” She asked dumbly, feeling stupid that she forced the angel to stay without any inclination of why. He raised his eyebrows at her, glancing down at where the bloody laceration had been on the night on the cliff.

“Oh… It’s completely healed,” he responded. He looked increasingly uncomfortable, making Haneul feel sad.

“Gongchan… I’m sorry,” she sighed heavily, hanging her head with guilt. “I took out my anger and frustration on you, and you didn’t deserve it. I know now that there is nothing that you could have done to change what happened, and I’m really grateful to you for looking after me,” she told him. She glanced up hesitantly, to see how he would react; he was staring at her with slightly wide eyes, almost dumbfounded. He then regained him composure and cleared his throat, but she could see him visibly relax with relief.

“I’m glad to hear that, Haneul. Still, that doesn’t excuse the mistakes I’ve made… I should have seen Dong-woo's treachery,” he frowned. “I was too preoccupied with Baro, and I didn’t see the real threat even when it was right in front of my face.” He crouched down beside the grave again, staring forlornly at the stone.

“No one could have seen that coming,” she replied, sitting down on her knees beside him to place a hand gently on his shoulder. He twitched at her touch, but did not pull away, only kept gazing deeply at the gravestone as if to glean some knowledge or wisdom from it. “I mean, he is an angel. He is supposed to be righteous and just, and work for our best interest… It seems that he is working for his own interest instead. You looked up to him. You idolized him. It’s natural that you believed the best of him… The important thing is that you discovered the truth of his intentions in time.”

“You really don’t think ill of me, do you, Haneul?” he smiled weakly, finally raising his head to meet her gaze. His eyes were very sad; she was not surprised. After all, his world had just been up-ended in the worst way possible. Every thing he thought was right had been proven wrong, and the one person he believed in had turned out to be mad with vengeance, to the point he would endanger Haneul's life.

“No, I don’t. I believe you tried to do what you thought best for me, even if it didn’t turn out quite like you intended. I can’t fault you for that,” she confirmed, and he sat back on the grass, exhaling deeply. “So… What are you going to do now?” She inquired.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly. “Everything I thought I knew has turned out to be wrong. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” he sighed glumly. Haneul truly felt bad for him. Despite their differences and conflicts in the past, she knew what it felt like to be lost, wandering without purpose and waiting for the end to come. How can I help him? She wondered.

“Well… You’re still my guardian angel, aren’t you?” She offered slowly. Shocked, he glanced up at her with his mouth hanging open. “Dong-woo is still out there, determined to slaughter Baro, and he’s already proven that he has no qualms using me as a means to an end. I could always use an extra pair of eyes watching out for me.”

“But… You have Baro,” he mumbled, almost bitterly. He is an angel, after all. Demons are his natural enemies.

“Yes, I have Baro,” she acknowledged. “That doesn’t mean he’s your replacement.” He stared down at her hesitantly. “You’ve been watching over me my entire life. It would be unfair of me to cast you aside. In sure there are things you’ve done for me that I could never know or appreciate. Baro is Baro, and you are you.” He chewed on the inside of his mouth, considering her offer.

“You really do love him, don’t you?” he asked softly, and without hesitation, she nodded her head. He smiled wryly at her. “I can tell. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been.” He reached out to her, hesitantly, but she did not recoil as he placed his hand over the area where her heart lie beating. “You’re overflowing with it…” Perhaps realizing how intimate the action was, he hastily withdrew his hand, glancing back at the headstone. “There are a lot of things that I was wrong about, it seems. I thought demons were pure evil, and we angels were pure goodness, but… Perhaps it’s not that simple.”

“The world has never existed in black and white,” she agreed. “Angels and demons aren’t that different than people, I think. Some are exceptionally good, some are undeniably evil… And others straddle the line, not necessarily one or the other, but slaves to their emotions,” she mused. “They make mistakes, they live and learn, they love and hate, just trying to make it in the world.”

“Hmm,” he sniffed, bemused by her simple analysis of the supernatural beings. “That’s more accurate than I care to admit.” He rocked back and forth on his heels slightly, perhaps mulling over her offer. “You’re searching for a way to bring him salvation, aren’t you?” he asked suddenly. Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of her deepest desire, and she nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with the question.

“Do you know one?” She asked quietly, praying that he had at least some helpful information to offer. Unfortunately, he sighed heavily and shook his head.

“No. I have never heard of a demon reverting to human, or even an angel…” he frowned deeply. As Haneul's shoulders slumped, he reached up to put a hand on her shoulder. “But that is not to say it does not exist. It is very possible that such instances have been purged from the records to perpetuate the kind of views that led Dong-woo to act so rashly…” The notion reassured the girl slightly, and she glanced at the grave. Suddenly she remembered why she had even come to the cemetery in the first place, and her heart began to flutter at the memory of the passionate kiss beneath the fireworks. Gongchan smiled wryly, sensing her rising elation, and she blushed darkly in embarrassment.

“A-anyway, you never answered my question,” she insisted, and he frowned as he further considered the notion.

“You are my charge. It is my duty to protect you from any threat… If that threat is my superior, then so be it,” he decided finally, slapping his knees as he rose to his feet. Haneul rose with him, stepping back as he gave his great white wings an experimental flutter. “I will see if I can gather information on Dong-woo's movements from the other angels,” he informed her.

“Thank you, Gongchan,” she smiled gratefully up at him. In truth, it relieved her to have another powerful being looking out for her. The threat of the superior angel loomed often on her mind, even with the pair of demons on constant alert. He smiled softly, bowing slightly to her.

“Of course. I’ll always be at your service, Haneul,” he mused, then stood up. He hesitated for a moment, then slowly reached out to place a hand on the top of her head and affectionately ruffled her hair. “You’ve really grown into a beautiful person,” he murmured gently, proudly, like an elder brother praising his younger sibling. “I suppose I have Baro to thank for that?” he added with a rueful chuckle. It seems he still has a little getting used to Baro, she thought with a smile, grateful that he was at least trying, for her sake.

“Baro saved my life,” she replied truthfully. “Everything I am now is thanks to him.”

“And everything he is now is thanks to you,” he smirked, pulling his hand back. The response surprised her, and she could not help but widen her eyes. “He’s come a long way, too,” he mused. “When I knew him, he was no different than the others. Now, he’s… different. I’m not sure how to describe it,” he frowned, then smiled brightly. “I think if anyone can save him, Haneul, it’s you.” She felt her heart swell with hope. Off the angel acknowledged Baro's potential to be saved, then perhaps there was a way after all. Before she could say anything else to her, then angel bowed once more, then flapped his white wings and took to the air. Haneul shielded her eyes from the dust that spiraled into the air at the force of the wind gusts his wings generated, and when it was safe to open them, the angel was nowhere to be seen in the clear blue sky. She blinked a few times, gazing up at the blue expanse, before turning her attention back to her mother's gravestone.

After giddily relating the many events of the week to her deceased mother, Haneul returned home and passed the rest of her day uneventfully. She slept fitfully, overwhelmed with excitement for the school day and the opportunity to see her beloved Baro once more. When she awoke the next day, she was in such a dreamland that she burnt her toast and tried to walk out of the house without shoes, and Sandeul naturally took the opportunity to relentlessly tease the girl in love. She could barely focus on her classes, fidgeting endlessly and constantly fantasizing about her upcoming Chemistry class. They weren’t even anything too spectacular, just simple conversations with him, but just imagining his beautiful smile and that familiar smug demeanor set her heart in fire. When the time finally came, she rushed down the hallway to her class and into the room, sitting at her station and waiting impatiently for him to arrive.

He never walked through the door.

Haneul’s fantasies turned to nightmares as she imagined the terrible things that could prevent the demon from joining her in class. Dong-woo could have gotten ahold of him, and he could be lying hurt and bleeding somewhere. Some angel could have stumbled across him and taken the opportunity to slay the demon, fighting for the righteous cause they believed in. As increasingly dire scenarios raced through her mind, her anxiety grew, until she felt like she couldn’t breathe and her stomach was a hopeless entanglement of knots. When the bell rang, she scrambled to the lunchroom, hoping and praying that the demon would be there.

Though she searched desperately, the distraught girl saw no sign of him. As she say despondently at the table, unable to touch her food, Sandeul did his best to ease her concerns.

“He's probably sick or something, Haneul,” he reassured as he stuffed his face full of food. “Everybody is absent sometimes. There’s no need to be anxious.” Though he momentarily eased her mind, after they departed the lunch room and went their separate ways, the dark thoughts returned, and she was soon once more fretting and sweating while she wondered what could have happened to him.

This isn’t normal. He wouldn’t just disappear without telling me. Something is wrong; something must be wrong! She thought as she walked briskly down the hallway, nearly in a panic. As she walked out into the schoolyard, waiting for Sandeul, she gave one last glance around the yard to hopefully catch a glimpse of the demon. As her eyes searched the crowd, rapidly losing hope, she could not help but gasp as she saw him wading through the crowd of people, shoulders hunched and hands shoved deep into his pockets. She immediately took off, shoving her way through the crowd in a desperate attempt to reach him.

“Baro!” she shouted over the din of conversation. Somehow, he heard her, and she saw him stiffen; however, he did not stiffen, but instead began pushing people aside, seemingly attempting to get away from her. Why is he doing that? She thought, and began running after him, throwing people aside with no regard for manners or propriety. “Baro! Wait!” she cried. He did not acknowledge her. As he reached the edge of the crowd, he began dashing around the side of the school. No! Come back! She wailed silently, breaking free of the throng and running frantically after him. Tears were rising in the corners of her eyes as she felt her heart constricting. I don’t understand! Why won’t he answer me? What’s wrong, Baro? Please, just talk to me, acknowledge me! She begged as the tears began to stream down her cheeks. She saw him unfurl his wings, preparing for takeoff as he raced down the alleyway behind the school building. “Baro! Wait! Baro!” she screamed, reaching out for him as he jumped into the air, rising out of her reach. As he disappeared into the sky, she skidded to a halt and watched with a breaking heart as he rose into the blue, leaving her behind. Panting, she sunk to her knees, still staring at the place he vanished into the clouds.

He’s avoiding me. He doesn’t want to see me.

Baro… What happened, Baro? She recalled the kiss on the dock, remembering his soft lips against her own and the feeling of his warmth, and began to sob bitterly. Is it over as soon as it’s begun?

Have I lost him?

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Comments

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Staygr
#1
Chapter 35: Oh my god that was an amazing story TT I really loved it!Thank you so much for writing it<3
Maddy_the_Lion
#2
Chapter 4: I'm loving the story so far, but all I can think about is "I don't think the poor girl has had a shower and changed her clothes yet". Perhaps I missed it somewhere along the way.
Sakura_99
#3
Chapter 32: Oh god I was so terrified of a tragic ending...glad that Baro's gang appeared :)
Rooting for the main characters~~~

Btw happy new year hun! ❤️
Staygr
#4
Chapter 29: Idk why but i love this story so much:)) I can't wait for the next chapter:))
foxwot #5
Chapter 28: The past couple chapters have been so fluffy. :)
foxwot #6
Chapter 25: *sits down to wait with wide eyes and chewed fingernails*
foxwot #7
This is so well written, I just read everything so far in one go and can't wait for more.
ggexotica #8
Chapter 18: This is so cute ~
Yaaay..
Thanks :)
ggexotica #9
Chapter 17: You're baaaaaack!!
This chapter is soo good.
Thanks for this update
ggexotica #10
Chapter 16: I love it