Kyutae One-shot inspired by SHINee's song - Quasimodo.

Your traces that my heart is filled with makes me able to breathe. When the long night is colored by the moonlight will the inescapable wait all end? I wish for a miracle and ask and answer myself.

Oh, I can’t tell you about me, who wants to reach your heart, like the starlight hidden behind the cold clouds

"I love you", in the end, this painful confession that lingers at the edge of my lips slides down in tears.

This arrow that’s reached my heart feels like a part of my body now even though it hurts to death, I can’t remove you, who’s stuck in my heart because it’s love, because for me, it’s love.

Even if I can’t have you, even when my heart is blocked in the end by the wall of sad connection. I love you, if it’s a place, where I can just watch you because you’re my everything. I stay up for so many nights when the starlight becomes rain, that doesn’t stop like my tears.

Remember that I loved you

Even if I can’t have you, even when my heart, is blocked in the end by the wall of sad connection, I love you. If it’s a place, where I can just watch you. because you’re my everything

Even if I can’t have you, even when my heart
Is blocked in the end by the wall of sad connection,

I love you, if it’s a place, where I can just watch you

Because you’re my everything

It’s not tough, oh no
  Because you have to be mine
In order for you to be you
Even if it hurts
Even if you make me cry
I love you

listen to this while reading - http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=n9KUntgIoVI

I looked at her pretty face from afar, her soft strands of black hair blown, dancing, following the rhythm of Spring's breeze. She was sitting on the front hood of her red car on top of the hill and she looked so lost in thought. She was so unaware of the world, as she stares at the small trees filled with flowers, looking like ants.

I didn't expect her to be there. I remembered clearly the first moment I met her.

We were still in our high school years. I was at my usual spot outside of school, under the shady tree, hidden away from people, especially the guard that usually chase me and sent me to the principal's office. It's not that i mind, but whenever i get caught, i had to suffer pain. In other words - detention. It was already Autumn at that moment, and I was smoking, with my bicycle leaning against the big tree. I sat beneath it.

"Ouch." A girl voiced. She was wearing our school uniform, but I've never seen her before. Her hair was neatly tied, but her clothes were dirty. Her knee was scratched and bleeding,  slowly limping as she dragged her bicycle with her. She finally realized i was there, and she bowed her head slightly.

I know i should have helped her at that moment, but honestly i didn't want to get involved, so i went back to my smoking. She was still limping, and she didn't even complain or sigh once. She was still dragging her bleeding leg.

I extinguished my smoke by throwing it on the ground, sighing, rolling my eyes and went to her. As i walked towards her, i could hear the crunch of the old dead leaves on the ground. She turned around, surprised to see me. Without saying a word, I went down on my knees, turning my back towards her so she could climb on my back and i could carry her. She was hesitant, but she did anyway.

"I'll bring you to class first, then I'll take your bike for you." I told her. I could feel her soft breath on the back of my neck. "You should tell me what class you're in."

"Th-three C" she said, nervously. I guess she was one of those smart girls who never had the guts to talk to guys. Those shy kinds. I get annoyed by those type of girls a lot, because they are annoying. "Y-You can leave me here." She said as we reached the main hallway.

"You should wash that." I pointed towards her scratched knee. She glanced at it and smiled. I suddenly remembered that i had a few adhesive bandages in my pocket , because i usually get into fights and those bandages come to handy. I took it out and passed it to her. "These are the expensive cartoon ones. I think it's winnie the pooh. I know it's not as manly, but that that time these were the only ones there." i said.

She smiled. "Thank you, Kyuhyun."

She was the first one to know my name. I didn't know how, or why, but she knew my name first, before i could know hers. And she had a pretty name, too. Kim Taeyeon. It means "Calm". And she was exactly like her name.

"Kyuhyun." I snapped out of my daze. I was back to my reality, and found Taeyeon's father in front of me. I looked at him and suddenly bowed my head. He nodded, "I knew it was you."

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not snooping. I was actually here with my family." I stuttered, afraid that he would think I was stalking them.

"Don't worry, I know that this hill is very famous during spring. No trees, just the breeze. It's nice, right?"

"How is she?" I finally had the courage to ask him.

"She's doing better..." He said slowly, staring at the ground. "That is why, my last request is for you to forget her, move on and let her be healthy. I am not angry with you, but I hope you stay away from her. After the incident ---"

"Thank you for walking me home." She said, rubbing the palm of her hands. She had a brown scarf around her neck, covering her frozen red lips.

I nodded my head. I was a different man than when I met her. She changed me, and I changed her. She was a different lady, and I was also different. We complimented each other. I took the courage to kiss her for the first time, but unfortunately her  father opened the door at the exact moment.

"You're 3 minutes late in bringing my Taeyeon home." He said sternly.

"We were--" Taeyeon tried to say.

"No excuses." Her father folded his arms on his fat belly, his face red in anger.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault." I said, taking all the blame. I couldn't tell her father that she was the one that took a long time picking CDs in the record store, or when she insisted to buy an ice cream for me. Or when we walked along in the park, discussing our future. She told me that it was the first time she loved anyone, and she would never forget her first love. "You should go in now, or else we'd be 4 minutes late." I said slowly to her, patting her on her arm.

She walked towards the steps and before going in, she turned around to see me. I was walking away from her house, towards the other side of the street towards my car. She came running towards me, gave me a quick, soft, peck.

She turned around quickly, blushing. She ran towards the street to cross, but it was all so fast, and the next moment, I heard her scream and the next moment,  she was already on the hospital bed.

I only stayed outside of the room, and i could hear her mom sobbing, and her father cursing me and blaming me and said it was all my fault. I sort of believed him, too. And i blamed myself for 6 years, even until now. She could no longer remember me, her own first love. Her father forbid me to visit her.

"-- Were you listening?" Her father asked. I nodded my head. "I know she got hit by that car because she was running towards you to kiss you. I finally realize now that it wasn't her fault, nor was it yours. I bet she didn't regret kissing you that night...." He paused. "I should go on to Taeyeon now." He said, his face in regret. He patted my shoulder, sighed, and left. From afar, i saw him going towards Taeyeon. I saw her smile again as she saw her father.  She was laughing again, and she had the same hairstyle as the first time we met. Layered, black, tied and with fringe.

It left me scarred to know that I didn't have the power to save her.  I couldn't be with her, make her smile again, and protect her. I felt vulnerable, I felt as if I was such a bad example. I felt like I was dangerous. Even if we were still together, i would still have hurt her. It doesn't matter how much we love each other, no matter how much she changed me to be good, I think, and I'm quite sure that she would be hurt by me.

"Yeobo." someone tapped my shoulder. It was my wife. "We're leaving now." She smiled.
I took the last look of my first love, my only love. Although it may be unfair to my wife, I didn't have the courage to tell her how much Taeyeon made an impact to my life. She was my first, and unforgettable one.

I was still looking at Taeyeon, who then suddenly saw me. My heart skipped a beat, exactly like when I saw her walking with her limping, bleeding leg. Exactly when she kissed me. Her face showed that she didn't recognize me, but she smiled at me anyway. I turned around so she couldn't see me cry. I walked away and went home with my wife and child.
Hoping Taeyeon remember, that I love her.