If Only
Fatalis Dilemma
⇋
Sehun finds himself sitting in Jongin’s office again, and he feels no less overwhelmed than yesterday’s.
Jongin had literally dragged him away from the entrance of the building, past all the speechless reporters, past a fuming Kai, past the stares and whispers of the employees at their cubicles, and directly into his private office.
And Sehun had let him, too shocked to really pull away.
Now they’re sitting face to face again, and Sehun’s mind is still in a frenzy.
“W―Why did you say that?”
Jongin sighs. “It’s a mess out there, the press,” he begins. “Now you’ve seen how vicious they can be, right?”
“Y―Yeah…”
“How do you think it’ll look, for them to blast pictures of us kissing all over the news, and yet all we declare is simply, ‘No, it didn’t mean anything. We were just fooling around’?”
Sehun stares at him uncomprehendingly.
“On my side, it’ll look like I’m a frivolous president who goes around kissing his employees randomly, maybe even using my position and power to force it on you,” the man explains patiently. “And on your side… you’ll look like a devious, calculating secretary who only seduces me hoping for a promotion.”
“Ah…” Sehun exhales shakily, dread settling into his chest. He hadn’t even thought of that, but… what Jongin said is true. The reporters were already implying that was what Sehun did when they had cornered him earlier, asking him what his ‘secret’ is to capture the Kim President.
“This is why… I declared us to be lovers. So that we would have a reason to kiss. So they wouldn’t create any nasty rumors about us,” Jongin continues, giving Sehun a wince. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen either, but I was trying to take the best course of action for the reputation of both of us…”
Sehun bites on his lip, torn when the older man puts a palm over Sehun’s own, as if an apology and plead, and he mulls over it.
Personally, he doesn’t care much for his own reputation, since he’s just a lowly secretary. Sure, it wouldn’t be nice to have indecent rumors about him front-page in the newspapers, but in the end, he was still a no-named ordinary person, and the press would get bored and forget about him soon enough.
Jongin, on the other hand, though…
From what Sehun’s seen and heard, the other has had an undisputably positive and exemplary reputation without a single scandal to marr it. If it is assumed that he uses his power to kiss his employees for private pleasures, that will surely put a damp in not only Jongin’s image, but the image of the company as a whole.
And Sehun definitely does not want that to happen, especially when the man has been nothing but endlessly kind to him.
So he lets out a sigh. Truthfully, he does not like lying―is not even sure if he can pretend to do so, but…
For the sake of Jongin’s reputation…
“Okay, I understand…” he whispers, in a breath. “It’s just… until this… ‘scandal’, dies down, right?”
“Yes!” Jongin says in relief. “Once everything has sufficiently calmed down and the press moves on to another ‘big drama’, we can announce our ‘break up’ and nobody will give us a hard time about it.”
Sehun nods, still hesitant, but not having much of a choice. His gaze is down at his lap in deep thoughts when the other cups his cheek, tilting him up to look properly at Jongin.
“Thank you for agreeing with this plan, Sehun,” Jongin says, a soft yet undoubtedly adoring smile on his face. “You’ve always been so kind… always thinking of others… Always putting everyone above yourself… This is why I fell in love with you, you know? Because you are the kindest and most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
Sehun curls into himself, covering his face with both his hands to hide the rising blush he can feel creeping up his cheeks. Jongin is always―always―showering him with compliments and looking at him like he is Jongin’s entire world, and it gets too much at times.
“I―It’s not a big deal,” he stutters, face still hiding behind his palms. “I’m sure you’re the one who’s in a more disadvantage by this plan, since you’ll have to declare someone as lowly as me as your lover―”
“Do not say that!” Jongin shouts, cutting Sehun off and startling him. “You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and anyone would be so lucky to have you―”
“Ahhhh~!” Sehun groans, interrupting Jongin in turn. “Please stop. This is so embarrassing…”
At this, Jongin blinks and lets out a chuckle. “Sorry… But seriously, though. Stop selling yourself so short. I wish you can see what I see, because you are absolutely perfect in my eyes.”
Sehun peeks at the other through the small gap between his fingers, studying him. Jongin’s eyes are genuine and sincere, and it makes his heart flutter a little, that someone thinks so highly of him.
And at that moment, he realizes the other man had been right: if it had been Jongin Sehun had fallen in love with and been faithfully devoted to, his life would have been so much easier.
If only Sehun didn’t love Kai, and if only Kai wasn’t Sowon’s father.
If only…
⇋
Sehun had to ask Chanyeol to pick his son up afterward, for he did not want the paparazzis to follow him and potentially find out about Sowon’s existence or
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