After I was left alone at the garden, I went to the beach in front of the hotel. I ran to the beach while cursing, I don’t who was those curses meant to, but I just did cursed anyway. It feels better. But the pain remains. I thought that I just want to get suicide by frozen to death there, but then mom’s face pop out in my head. I couldn’t help it but to cry once again. I’m too fragile. I know.

I’m not strong enough to fight with the cold night breeze and decided to get back to my room. I went straight to bathroom. I don’t know what to do that certain time. I’m breaking apart, but no one knows. I’ve always cared for others’ feeling but not myself. Why? Because I love them more than myself. I couldn’t afford to pampered myself. I don’t know why I did that. I just did.

Little did he knows, Nayeon saw and heard almost everything regarding both lovers conversation. She felt stung in the heart as she saw her fiancé sobbing that night. She didn’t know why she felt like that, but she did worried about him.

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I stared my own reflection in the mirror until I calmed down. A bit. Then, I’ve been thinking what I’ve done that I had to bear this pain. Why me? Sometimes, I felt that I shouldn’t have been born in this world. I’m such a pain to others. I then walked across the bathroom and step into the bathtub. I filled the tub with lukewarm water. Now once again, I cried.

“WAE?! WAE?! Wae… why I’m so fragile? Don’t cry! Enough acting like !” I talked to myself so that I could stop crying.

That’s how I released my stress that I’ve bottled up. Which I don’t know since when. Then I slowly dip myself in the tub which was full of water. I’m not trying to suicide or what it just that I felt secure and happy being in water. Well’ I’m not a pro swimmer, I enjoyed swimming. I held my breath but not for a long period of time. Then I realised that my only suit had drench because I’ve forgotten to take them off before. Damn it! That makes me stopped from what I’ve been doing and quickly fetch the towel and dried myself. Feel better.

“What to do with my suit now? Holy . Dried them up, you fool!” I’ve been telling myself.

I went downstairs to asked for a dry cleaning service. Luckily they got one. It’s already midnight that time. I thanked them and went straight to bed.

7th July 2012

Narrator POV

Jaein was 16  that time. He was in California with his grandparents who were Americans. His mother was a American while his dad a Korean. He decided to stay with his only grandparents because he felt being loved around them although they’re busy people. But different from his parents, his grandparents always made their time for him. His grandparents also his number one supporter. His  father insisted him on taking in Engineering field while his passion was in Arts, like his grandparents. In America they called him Jason or Jay. Jaein had been staying with his grandparents since he started his middle school. He rarely visit Seoul as he was afraid with his father. He’s a bit pushing type. Maybe he was raised like that before that Jaein couldn’t handled it.

His grandpa, Joseph Gregory and his grandma, Mary Gregory brought him up like their own son. They raised him well although they were busy handling their hoteling business, they never forget to had lunch and dinner with him. Different while being in Seoul, Jaein’s perent never showed up for dinner together. Which made him felt so lonely. One time, when Jaein was in elementary school, they didn’t showed up at his first ever tennis tournament although he ended up as the champion. He’s always accompanied by his butler and maids. And not to mention his personal guards. Because of those he decided to stay in California with his grandparents.

Oakland International High School

The start was here, where Jaein gained and lost his love, his first love.

It was their first day of second year in high school. Jaein wa