“Are you serious?”  You asked incredulous. He really had the gall to ask that at the moment! 

               “Eun Mi…. Just breathe.  I know you’re upset so why don’t we go into the next room and talk?”  Eric asked.  He had quickly walked into the sound board room once you started to raise your voice.  You really couldn’t help the volume of your voice at the moment because your raised voice was the only thing calming you down enough so you didn’t go and slap the calm look off of Kris’s face.

               “I’m not going anywhere.  How could you just leave like that?  You knew what mom was going through and you just left?”  You yelled.  You were normally so calm and collected but seeing him in front of you now and knowing that he left without a single word.  No explanation, no notice, not even a goodbye.  Your mother had been sick ever since you were about 7.  She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was confined to the house because she was prone to… a change in public. She would often leave the house happy and laughing but the smallest things would shift inside her and the next moment she is screaming and trying to hit something. He abandoned you with your mother and it hurt, more than you would like to admit because you never wanted to feel weak, helpless, or like the world was trying to crush you.  Not ever again.  Kris rubbed his neck and walked into the room with you and Eric.  He leaned against the sound board and didn’t say anything for a while.  When he finally spoke your heart nearly busted into a thousand tiny pieces.

               “Why should I have stayed?  To endure mom’s illness and live my life with a psychotic mother who beat me?  I chose to live my life for me and get away from the pain.  I’m not sorry for that.” Kris said with no emotion.  You couldn’t believe what you just heard.  Your heart pounded inside your chest and your head began to spin but you refused to go down in front of him.  Especially not after what he just said.  Your eyes started to burn so you looked away from him, not wanting him to see you cry either.

               “I’m sorry we were a burden.  I’m sorry that we weren’t the perfect family you deserved.  I’m just glad that you got to live your life without a care.  Mom would have wanted you to have been happy.  She never blamed you for leaving.  She loved you no matter what and maybe she didn’t show it sometimes but that wasn’t her fault.  Her illness didn’t just weigh heavily on us!  She hated herself!  She hated that she couldn’t always smile and laugh!  All she wanted was to be happy and see her family happy!  She never blamed you for leaving…”  Your tears streamed down your cheeks and you didn’t even try to hide them because it was pointless.  He was staring at you now but his face still held an expressionless look.  He looked as if you were wasting his time. 

               “She…”  Your voice caught in your throat.  Eric was next to your side holding you up right.  Your mind was blurring but you had to keep going.  He didn’t feel sorry?  How could he actually be your brother?

               “Eun Mi please calm down.  You know you can’t get too excited like this! Please sit down and rest.”  Eric pleaded.  You knew he was right but the stubborn side of you was saying that Kris needed to know everything.  He needed know that mom loved him and that she was sorry but most importantly, he needed to know that she was gone.

               “No… I’m fine…”  You breathed heavily.  You looked Kris directly in the eyes.  Hold on did you see something flash in his eyes?  It looked like… worry?  You must have just imagined it because him worrying about anyone but himself shocked you.

               “She tried her best to control her illness but in the end it was too much for her.  She t-tried holding back the depression as long as she could but… it took her.  She…”  Your vision blurred and went around the edges.  Your knees buckled beneath you but Eric caught you and picked you up bridal style and carried you to the couch.  He laid you down and went to go get his phone to call your doctor.  Kris was standing next to the couch now and was looking down at you.  You blinked your eyes and looked at him. 

               “She wanted so much to see you before it took her.  She would often call out your name instead of mine when we were together.  I don’t blame you for leaving… but I… I… wish you h-had at least told us.  She jumped… and I wasn’t strong enough to catch her.”  Your vision went black but you’re almost positive you heard someone say “I’m sorry” before your mind went black like your vision. 

 

 

               “Hello Eun Mi.  How are you feeling?”  The doctor said once he came into the room.  You had passed out and Eric rushed you to your private doctor.  He had come in on his day off just to check you out and make sure you were ok.  You had woken up in the office with Eric holding you in his arms and a nurse was sticking an IV in your arm.  Now you were in the doctor’s office, laying on a cold bed with an IV stuck in your arm and a heart monitor hooked up.  Your heart beat was extremely irregular and sounded like a musician was playing the drum with your heart.

               “Fine.  Just a small episode, no big deal.  All I needed was a little rest.” You smiled. The doctor looked at your chart and your smile fell.  He looked alarmed at first but then sad.

               “You were doing so well.  What happened that caused the relapse?”  The doctor asked.  You thought about what caused it.  Your brother coming back and not caring about leaving. But you didn’t need to tell your doctor that.

               “Just something came up and stressed me out.  I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”   The doctor shook his head and laughed. 

               “Always worrying and apologizing.  Maybe you should take a vacation.  Go away and relax.  Working so hard all the time is not good for your heart.  I know you have goals but make sure you pay attention to your health as well, arasso?”  The doctor said.  You nodded but the doctor still looked at you as if he didn’t believe you.  That’s only reasonable since you promised the same thing 4 months ago when you had your last episode. 

 

               “Argh! I need some tea.”  You grumbled as you walked into your kitchen. 

               “What anything?”  You asked Eric.  He had taken you home and insisted on staying the night to make sure you were ok. 

               “Ice coffee please.  I’ll grab the milk.”  You nodded and started making a pot of coffee.  You pulled the coffee grounds from the cabinet and carefully measured out the right amount.  You put the water in the coffee maker and pressed the start button.  You watched as the water started to soak the grounds and slowly drip coffee into the pot.  You promised to stop worrying about things that stressed you out but you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

               “What happened after?” You asked out loud.  Eric was looking in your fridge and didn’t respond.

               “Eric.  What happened after I out?”  You asked louder.  Eric didn’t look away from the fridge when he spoke.

               “I took you to the clinic.  That’s it.”  That’s it?  He wasn’t telling you something.

               “Eric?”  He continued to look in the fridge.

               “Eric?”  Still no answer. 

               “ERIC!”  You yelled.  He slammed the door and spun to face you.

               “What!  What do you want me to say?  Forget about him.  You don’t need the stress in your life.  I’m sorry I told you about him in the first place!”  Eric rarely got mad.  Your heart hurt but it wasn’t an episode.  It was because you saw how upset Eric was.  You walked over to him and squeezed his hand. 

               “I’m not.  Thanks to you I got out so much anger I didn’t know I had in me.  He can’t be the cause of my stress anymore.  All my stress related to him is gone and now I feel happy and… free.”  You smiled.  You knew that what you said wasn’t true but you hoped it made Eric feel better.

               “Eun Mi… I… He… You are just so strong.”  Then why didn’t you feel strong?  You felt like you had just been hit by a two ton truck.  You knew that Eric was worried about you but you needed to see Kris again but first thing you needed to do was get Eric to tell you where he was.

               “Eric.  You know where he is don’t you?”  Eric looked into your eyes and he could tell you were determined to see Kris, no matter how hard he tried to convince you not to.  He sighed and nodded his head. 

               “I do.  But I won’t tell you.”  You were about to protest when he held up his hand to silence you.

               “I won’t tell you but I’ll take you there.  And only if you promise to stay calm and leave when I say so.”  You smiled slightly and hugged Eric. 

               “I promise.  Thank you.  I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need to.”  Eric hugged you back.  The rest of the night the two of you watched dramas and ate junk food until you fell asleep on the couch. 

 

                                                                 Annyeong!  I hope you guys are liking the story so far!  I'm working really hard on this story but don't think I forgot about Flower Boy Wolf Pack!  I'm going to alternate updating the stories.  So one week will have FBWP update and the next week will have a HLH update.  Have any suggestions on chapter ideas or scenarios I should add?  Comment below what you would like to see in this story!  I love feedback!  Well I hope you guys enjoy and really like this story!  Saranghaeyo!~ *3*