I think Frozen 2 has made me realize something. There may be some things that would never change, but you cannot avoid the change. All those dear to you will someday leave and you will end up feeling lonely. So the best lesson is to prepare yourself for it. Set yourself with a path of your own. Find yourself and love yourself. Accept the loneliness and cure it with your own means.

For introverts and extremely unsociable types like me, it would really be this hard to overcome the loneliness. Introverts are kind of having hard time in creating bonds. So when those bonds started to loosen because of that "drifting" away of those dear to you as they start with their own lives, it would feel like you are left hanging in the air.

It's like you are still holding on with the past, but you can never bring it back (quoting Taengoo there, see). But yeah, loneliness will lead you to depression... if not, at least sadness and pain. Sometimes you would think of just abandoning everything and just proceed with a new life of your own. Like, you know, a sense of escape? I am not talking about suicide. Well, that's one way but baaaad way (don't ever dare). What I mean is just plainly escape from your life and start somewhere else, you know what I mean?

Like a reset. Like a brand new life without all these sadness.

My life isn't that easy. I worked hard for my education, I reached my dreams eventually despite the poverty. I wanted to provide for my family. And now that I sort of "reached" my goal, I feel the emptiness. They are all starting to drift away. Yet, I am still stuck because I am still providing for them (it's a complicated third world situation common to many countries, I guess). But yeah, going back... What would happen with me?

So then, the loneliness has affected me. I've been thinking of others too much. What about on my own goals in life? What about me? What about my future? Is there any?

There are lots of questions. But right now... even with the pain and sadness, I am still looking for my self-worth, my own happiness defined for me by the heavens. I don't know what it is but I am hopelessly hoping it will come soon... At least it's time for my happiness next.

 
edit: whoa, look at that. Happy birthday to me