Having to break up.
No one ever talks about what it's like to break up with someone. You always hear the hurt coming from someone who has been broken up with, but no one ever talks about the person who breaks up with someone. Right now I'm shaking because I'm about to do what I've been thinking about for months. I'm sad, not because I'm losing a relationship, but because I know I'm going to hurt this person deeply. I'm afraid, not of the questions, but of not having the answers that he needs. My hearts beating fast because of the anxiety I'm feeling before I do it. I don't want to hurt him, but I know a person needs to do what's best for themselves. I'm barely an adult. I don't want marriage. I don't want forever. I don't want undying affection, not now at least.
I want to be free and I feel like I'm being smothered, and it's horrible knowing that someone loves you more than you can ever love them. He feels like a friend to me and nothing more. The lust is gone and it's left me with uncertainty. The blinding love I felt in the beginning, turned out to be a passing feeling. It hurts that I'm doing this, but I want to talk about it. I want people to know that it's okay to break up with somebody because if you stay and you don't truly love them, don't really want to be with them, not in that way, then you're just making it worse.
Nobody ever talks about what it's like to break up with somebody. It hurts. It does. Maybe not as much as the person being broken up with, but it does hurt because you're hurting someone you care about.
That is all.
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