after leaving her trainee life behind at jellyfish entertainment, saying farewell to her closest friends - kim nayoung and kim sejong. she promised them that they will meet again (she knew that's imposibble). she moved in america with her family and stayed there for 2 years.

she was devastated, desperate, hopeless. what if her family was right? that her, being an idol is a huge mistake, that she will surely regret the path that she took, that she was not being practical. they told her that singers or idols doesn't last long, that their popularity will disappear eventually, that their spotlight will turn to someone until they fade away and be forgotten, that those idols are just teenagers that doesn't have any dreams. they are those youngsters that are running away from the cruelty of life. maybe she was one of those run aways, using music as their alternative universe.

though she didn't listen to what they say about being an idol, her family took her in. she was welcome rather cold and uninvited. she was a total stranger to her family, not looking at her and not even talking at her. she was a completely nobody. "so what are you planning to do with your life now after being kicked out in that useless music company?" her father once said when they're eating. she decided to keep shut, its not like they care anyway. 

living with her family was like being in a prison, she can't go out or do anything she want. "don't let people see you. i don't want to introduce you as my daughter." that was his father said before slamming the door on her face. 

she lied down on her bed, scrolling her phone when she saw familiar faces on her phone's screen, her former labelmates, kim sejong and kim nayoung with a very cute girl that reminds her of pucca were on a talent/survival show called produce101. a thin smile formed on her lips. well at least they're doing well. she was lost on her thoughts, a lot of what-ifs filled her mind.

what if she didn't leave? what if her parents were wrong? what if she didn't quit or given up so fast? maybe right now she was on the studio, practicing and laughing with them or possibly she was in this produce101.

for 2 years she was treated, a nobody maybe this time she can change their mind, maybe she can finally make them proud. she hurriedly reached for her piano, grabbing a pen and a paper. she will get it right this time.

"you're going back to korea." she was never been this happy when her dad told her that early in the morning of course she remained expresionless. "i already booked your flight so grab all of your stuff and leave this house." he added before closing the door, a grin formed on her lips (bcs this time her dad didn't slam the door)

the first thing she do when she landed in korea is to call her friends, kim nayoung and kim sejong. they were excited and happy, asking a lot of things that happen to her on those 2 years. she passed-by sm entertainment and audition poster caught her eyes, she tore it and a silly thought crossed her mind. "hey, remember when i told you guys that my group will win the new rookie award?" the other line was filled of screaming and dissing.

she was waiting for her turn and her palm was sweating non-stop. she can also feel her heart wanting to jump out of its ribcage. 

she was standing in front of the judges and the looks they're giving is making her change her mind. maybe locking herself in america is not so bad after all. she shake that thought away. no, she needs to make them proud of her. she wants her father to proudly introduce her to everyone. 

inhale. exhale.

once her fingertips press the keyboard, a soft melody filled the room and her soft voice complemented that athmosphere.

time passes by and your eyes
tells me a story that pains me
don't worry, my precious person
i'll protect you 'till my last breath

let's soar up, high in the sky
don't worry, im gonna hold you tight
through the hardhips and challenges
you'll be my strength, until the end

the company tells her to wait, she is sitting on acafe waiting for thrit call. a notification pop outand it shows a message from sejong asking her if she got in. she replies with an cool emoticon and type waiting.

she got the call and a huge grin appears on her lips. she immediately dials sejong and nayoung. "so about the rookie award, guess we will win it." screams are heard on the other line.

she will make it right this time.