Joys of Womanhood

Life unlived

I spent the rest of the day tending to Hanbin, his form lay sprawled across my bed, looking so vulnerable and weary, like a traveler seeking refuge after a long and arduous journey. As soon as he sank into the covers, his eyes fluttered shut, succumbing to the embrace of deep slumber, his rest undisturbed by the world outside.

As I tended to him, I couldn't shake the worry that gnawed at my insides like a persistent ache. With each labored breath, I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that he had faced his struggles alone for far too long.

Gently, I wiped his body down with a cool towel, the touch of the damp fabric soothing against his heated skin. The sight of him, shirt discarded beside him, revealed the expanse of his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Despite the weariness etched into his features, there was a peacefulness in his slumber that eased my troubled mind.

Yet, as I watched over him, my thoughts drifted to the events that had led to this moment. The worry lines etched into his forehead, the exhaustion in his eyes—it was clear that he had been carrying a burden far too heavy for one person to bear alone. And though he may have found temporary solace in sleep, I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until the weight of his troubles returned to haunt him once more.

In that moment, I knew I would do whatever it took to ensure his rest remained undisturbed, to shield him from the chaos of the world outside. For as long as he lay in my care, he would find solace within the sanctuary of my room, a haven from the storms that raged beyond its walls.

Lost in the moment, I found myself transfixed by the sight of Hanbin's form, the soft sheen of sweat glistening on his skin like a constellation of stars against the backdrop of night. Unconsciously, my fingers traced the intricate lines of black ink that adorned his chest, ribs, and hip, each a silent testament to the mysteries that lay hidden beneath the surface.

The allure of his tattoos drew me in, each curve and line whispering secrets known only to him. As I marveled at the artistry, a sense of wonder washed over me, mingling with the tender admiration I held for him. But as my finger neared the waistband of his pants, a sudden awareness jolted me out of my reverie. 

Quickly pulling my hands away, I retreated from the edge of temptation, the momentary lapse in judgment serving as a stark reminder of the boundaries between us. Despite the closeness we shared, there were lines that could not be crossed, mysteries that were not mine to unravel. And as I withdrew from his side, a flush of embarrassment tinged my cheeks, a silent vow to tread more cautiously in the future.

With gentle persistence, I encouraged Hanbin to take small bites of the rice porridge, spooning it into his mouth delicately. His eyes stayed shut, perhaps finding solace in the darkness behind his eyelids. Despite his unconscious state, he swallowed each mouthful instinctively, the lump in his throat rising and falling with each swallow.

As I watched him, a sense of tenderness washed over me, mingled with a quiet determination to care for him in his time of need. Each spoonful I offered was a small gesture of comfort, a reminder that he was not alone in his struggle.

And as he drifted in and out of consciousness, I found solace in the simple act of nourishing him, a silent promise to stand by his side until he emerged from the darkness into the light once more.

As I sat vigil by Hanbin's side, his phone on my nightstand intermittently lit up with alerts, each notification a stark reminder of the outside world clamoring for his attention. With a sense of trepidation, I couldn't help but steal a glance at the glowing screen, curiosity mingled with concern for the messages that awaited him.

Among the alerts, I noticed a few messages from 'mommy,' likely his concerned mother reaching out in worry. But what caught my attention were the multiple messages from an unknown number, their contents tinged with an urgency that seemed to leap off the screen.

As I read through the messages, a knot of unease formed in the pit of my stomach. Whoever this sender was, they seemed desperate to catch Hanbin's attention, their words a plea for acknowledgment that resonated with an unsettling intensity.

As I gazed at the screen, my thoughts inevitably drifted to Han Sohee, the woman with whom Hanbin had engaged in a heated argument just the other day. The memory of their tense confrontation lingered in my mind, stirring up a whirlwind of doubt and uncertainty about the true nature of their relationship.

With a heavy sigh, I made a decision. Carefully, I reached out and powered off Hanbin's phone, the action a deliberate choice to put an end to the incessant alerts and the unsettling feeling of intrusion into his personal affairs.

As the second day dawned, Hanbin remained ensconced in the depths of slumber, his form a still silhouette against the soft light filtering through the curtains. Occasionally, his eyes would flutter open, meeting mine with a fleeting glimpse of awareness before drifting once more into the realm of dreams.

As the hours passed, the burning heat that had consumed Hanbin's skin gradually subsided, leaving behind a sense of calm that settled over him like a comforting embrace. His breathing, once labored and erratic, had now become slow and controlled, each inhale and exhale a steady rhythm that echoed in the quiet of the room.

I watched over him with a mixture of relief and apprehension, grateful for the reprieve from the fever that had gripped him so fiercely. Yet, beneath the surface, a nagging sense of unease lingered, a reminder that the road to recovery would be fraught with challenges and uncertainties.

But for now, in this moment of quiet stillness, I allowed myself to savor the sense of peace that enveloped us both. With each breath he took, I could feel the tension in the room slowly dissipate, replaced by a fragile sense of hope that whispered of better days to come. 

Sitting on the floor next to the bed, I clasped Hanbin's hand in mine, the warmth of his touch a comforting anchor in the sea of uncertainty that surrounded us. Despite my best efforts to remain vigilant, exhaustion weighed heavily upon my shoulders, pulling at the edges of my consciousness like a relentless tide.

As I sat there, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window, a sense of tranquility washed over me. The steady rhythm of Hanbin's breathing filled the room, a soothing lullaby that beckoned me toward the embrace of sleep.

With each passing moment, the weight of the day's events pressed down upon me, the exhaustion of days without rest finally catching up to me. And as I held his hand, my eyelids grew heavy, my body surrendering to the irresistible pull of slumber.

In that fleeting moment between wakefulness and dreams, I found solace in the quiet stillness of the night, grateful for the brief respite from the chaos that had consumed us. And as I drifted into sleep, the warmth of Hanbin's hand in mine served as a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always the promise of a new dawn.

My eyes fluttered open, greeted by the soft glow of the morning sun filtering through the flowing curtains. For a moment, I lay there, blinking away the remnants of sleep, disoriented by the unfamiliar surroundings.

But as my senses slowly came into focus, I realized with a start that I was no longer sitting on the floor beside my bed. Instead, I found myself nestled in it, the same bed where Hanbin had rested just moments before, his scent still lingering on the sheets.

The realization jolted me awake, dispelling the lingering haze of sleep as I sat up, the events of the previous days flooding back into my mind with startling clarity. Memories of tending to Hanbin, of watching over him as he slept, flooded my thoughts, mingling with the faint traces of dreams that lingered at the edges of my consciousness.

With a sense of urgency coursing through me, I bolted out of my bedroom, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and apprehension. The once-familiar surroundings of my apartment felt eerily silent, the absence of Hanbin's presence a stark reminder of the uncertainty that now loomed over me.

As I searched frantically for any sign of him, my eyes fell upon the coffee table, where a neatly folded set of scrubs lay – the same scrubs that had been hanging outside my balcony to dry for days. A pang of unease gripped me as I realized that Hanbin must have taken the time to fold them, a gesture that spoke volumes about his character.

But even as I scanned the room for any other clues, there was no trace left of Hanbin himself. No note, no message – just an empty space where he had once lain, a silent void that echoed with the weight of his absence.

As I ventured out to do some grocery shopping, my steps seemed to lead me almost instinctively towards Hanbin's music studio. Perhaps somewhere deep inside, I harbored a flicker of hope that I might find him there, lost in the depths of his creativity as he often was.

But as I pushed open the door and stepped into the small room, the emptiness greeted me like a cold slap in the face. There was no sign of Hanbin, no trace of his presence lingering in the air. Instead, the room was filled with the chaotic remnants of his creativity – scattered sheets of music, half-finished lyrics, and discarded snack wrappings strewn about haphazardly.

For a moment, I stood amidst the remnants of his passion and talent, surrounded by the silent echoes of melodies once played. A pang of longing tugged at my heartstrings as I took in the empty space, wishing for his presence to fill the void left behind.

In the quiet of Hanbin's music studio, I felt the weight of his absence bearing down on me, casting a shadow over the room like a heavy curtain. The emptiness mirrored the ache I felt inside, a hollow feeling that seemed to seep into every corner of my being.

Despite the emptiness, there was a faint glimmer of hope that lingered in the air, a whisper of possibility that he might return. With each passing minute, I found myself drawn deeper into the space that had once been his sanctuary, searching for traces of his essence amidst the scattered remnants.

Driven by an inexplicable urge, I began to tidy up the mess that littered the room, my movements slow and deliberate as I carefully collected stray sheets of music and discarded instruments. Amidst the chaos, my eyes caught sight of a crumpled set of lyrics lying on the floor, their words imbued with a raw honesty that resonated deep within me.

Life is short, but there's a long way to go
First, shake off the dust that has accumulated in my mind
The stopped clock winds up again
Scribble down the reason, why I have to live
When did I become broken
I am blinded by greed and hang my head in my gaze

The weight of the words hanging heavy in the air. With each line, I felt a surge of empathy for the pain and turmoil that Hanbin had poured into his music, the lyrics a haunting reflection of his innermost thoughts and emotions.

As I continued to read, my heart ached with a profound sense of understanding. These words spoke of a journey marked by struggle and uncertainty, a quest for meaning and purpose in the face of adversity. And yet, amidst the darkness, there was a glimmer of hope – a belief in the possibility of redemption and renewal.

Sighing softly, I stared at the several other words messily scribbled over, each line a testament to the complexity of Hanbin's inner turmoil. In that moment, I felt a deep sense of connection to him, a recognition of the shared humanity that bound us together in our moments of vulnerability.

Stepping out of the building, I was greeted by the vibrant energy of the city streets, the pulse of Seoul thrumming all around me. Lost in my own thoughts, I strolled down the bustling sidewalk, the rhythm of my footsteps matching the beat of my racing heart. Suddenly, a soft brush against my leg jolted me out of my reverie.

Looking down, I was met with the sight of a white, fluffy cat winding its way around my ankles, its bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief. With a chuckle, I crouched down to pet the friendly feline, the weight of my worries momentarily lifted by the simple joy of the unexpected encounter.

As I the cat's fur, a mental image of Hanbin's daring rescue mission flashed through my mind – him scaling a tree with determined grace to save a stranded kitten. The image brought a smile to my lips, the warmth of it enveloping me like a comforting embrace.

"You look quite guilty, huh?" I teased the fluffy feline, my voice filled with playful affection. "Was that you who lured my friend into a late-night parkour adventure?"

To my surprise, the cat responded with a playful meow, its bright eyes sparkling with mischief as if to confirm my suspicions. Its tail swished back and forth in excitement, a silent admission of guilt that only added to its charm.

As the playful exchange between me and the mischievous cat continued, a sudden honk pierced the air, startling the fluffy feline and sending it scurrying across the street in a blur of white fur. My heart skipped a beat as I watched it dart away, a pang of concern washing over me.

Following the cat's path with my eyes, I soon spotted a small girl in a school uniform sitting on the ground outside of a nearby kiosk. Her shoulders were slumped, and a despondent expression clouded her features, as if she had been waiting there for quite some time.

Without hesitation, I hurried across the street, my heart pounding with a mixture of worry and determination. As I approached the girl, I offered her a warm smile, hoping to ease the tension that hung heavy in the air.

"Hey there, are you okay?" I asked gently, crouching down beside her. "It looks like you could use a friend."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the girl's reaction, her sharp eyes assessing me with a hint of suspicion before she looked away with a subtle puff of her cheek. There was something endearing about her guarded demeanor, a touch of defiance mixed with a hint of vulnerability that I found oddly charming.

With a smile, I settled down beside her on the ground, making myself comfortable despite the unexpected turn of events. The pavement was hard beneath us, but the warmth of the sun overhead and the company of this curious stranger made it feel like the most comfortable spot in the world. As I settled down beside the girl, a friendly smile on my lips, I couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness despite her initial hesitation.

"So, what's your name?" I inquired, eager to break the ice and establish a connection. But instead of a response, the girl merely huffed, her lips pursed in a stubborn line.

"My brother told me not to speak to strangers," she muttered, her tone defiant yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability. I couldn't help but chuckle at her response, admiring her adherence to her brother's advice even in the face of a friendly stranger like myself.

"Well, your brother sounds like a wise man," I replied with a playful twinkle in my eye. "But don't worry, I'm harmless. Just a random nurse who happened to cross your path today."

Despite her reluctance to engage, I couldn't shake the feeling of curiosity that bubbled within me. Something was intriguing about this girl with her guarded demeanor and sharp wit, something that compelled me to learn more about her.

"Well, since we're already breaking the rules by talking to each other, how about we make a deal?" I suggested, a mischievous smile playing on my lips. "You don't have to tell me your name if you don't want to. But maybe we can chat for a bit, just two strangers passing the time together. What do you say?"

As the girl's expression softened ever so slightly at my offer, a flicker of curiosity shining in her eyes, I couldn't help but feel a surge of relief. Hesitantly, she nodded, and a smile spread across my face like a beacon of hope in the midst of uncertainty.

"I'm Sooyoung, by the way," I introduced myself, extending a hand in greeting. "Do you always sit on the ground like this? Or is today a special occasion?"

The girl shifted uncomfortably, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she hesitated before responding.

"Well, not usually," she admitted sheepishly, her gaze flickering towards the ground. "But today's a bit... different."

Curious, I cocked my head to the side, waiting for her to elaborate. But before she could say anything more, her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red, and she lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper. Hiding her face in her hands, she gasped, "Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, a sympathetic smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Hey, no need to be embarrassed," I said softly, offering her a gentle smile. "It happens to everyone, even the best of us. But don't worry, I've got your back. That's what strangers are for, right?"

She looked up at me, her innocent eyes filled with a mix of embarrassment and uncertainty. Pouting her pink, plump lips, she still had a faint blush on her cheeks. Finally, with a shy sigh, she leaned in closer and whispered, "Um, I... I started bleeding... From down there? And my skirt is, well, not exactly clean anymore."

Suppressing a laugh at her candid admission, I couldn't help but admire her bravery in sharing such a personal detail with a stranger.

"Ah, the joys of womanhood," I quipped with a sympathetic smile. "Well, don't worry. We've all been there. And hey, at least it makes for a good story, right?"

With a warm smile, I reached into my bag and pulled out a sweater, offering it to the girl with a gentle nod.

"Here, you can use this to tie around your waist," I suggested, extending the garment towards her. The girl's eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing with gratitude as she accepted the sweater with a murmured thank you. With practiced ease, she tied it securely around her waist, using it to conceal the mishap with her skirt.

"There you go," I said with a warm smile, relieved to see her looking a bit more at ease. "Now you're all set. And if you need anything else, just let me know, okay?"

But before I could make any move to leave, the girl's hand shot out, gripping my wrist with surprising strength. Her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red as she looked away, clearly embarrassed by what she was about to ask.

"Actually... could you walk me home?" she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. I couldn't help but smile at her request, touched by her vulnerability and grateful for the trust she had placed in me.

"Of course," I replied gently, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'd be happy to."

As she grumbled about her fear of running into someone she knew, I couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"Don't worry," I reassured her with a playful wink. "I'll be your official bodyguard. No one's going to mess with us."

With a shy smile, Hanbyul nodded in agreement, her eyes bright with gratitude. As we set off together, holding cones of ice cream in each of our hands, we laughed as we ventured down the streets, the warm summer air enveloping us in a comforting embrace.

"My name is Hanbyul," she suddenly announced, her voice ringing out amidst the sounds of the bustling city. I whipped my head towards her in surprise, a smile spreading across my face as she happily devoured her soft serve.

"Hanbyul?" I echoed, the familiarity of the name lingering on my tongue like the taste of sweet ice cream. It was a name that seemed to resonate with a sense of familiarity as if I had heard it somewhere before. 

As we continued our stroll through the bustling streets, the familiarity I felt with Hanbyul only grew stronger. It was as if we had known each other for far longer than the brief encounter we'd had that day.

With each step, we exchanged stories and shared laughter, forming a bond that seemed to transcend the usual boundaries of strangers. Hanbyul's youthful energy was infectious, and I found myself opening up to her in ways I hadn't expected.

As we reached her doorstep, I couldn't shake the feeling that our connection ran deeper than mere chance. Hanbyul turned to me, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of gratitude and something else, something unspoken yet deeply felt.

"Thank you, unnie," she said softly, her voice carrying a weight of sincerity that struck a chord within me.

I smiled, feeling a sense of warmth spread through me. "Anytime, Hanbyul. Take care of yourself, okay?"

With a nod, she disappeared inside, leaving me standing on the doorstep, pondering the inexplicable bond that had formed between us. It was a connection that defied logic, yet felt undeniably real.

As I made my way home, the memory of Hanbyul lingered in my thoughts, leaving me with a sense of wonder and curiosity about the mysterious ways of fate.

****

"Ugh, I can't believe that guy," Mrs. Jung groaned dramatically, full of rice as she aired her grievances. I shot a puzzled glance at my sister, who nodded sympathetically from across the table, clearly familiar with the ongoing saga of Mrs. Jung's drama.

"What's the scoop, Mrs. Jung? Trouble in paradise?" I inquired, sliding into the seat beside her and placing my tray of food on the table. Mrs. Jung rolled her eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Oh, it's my good-for-nothing son," she lamented, irritation dripping from every word. I couldn't help but suppress a chuckle. "Can you believe he can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and let me know he's still breathing? Honestly, these boys today..."

I nodded in mock seriousness, taking a sip of water and letting my mind wander to a certain someone who seemed to have mastered the art of disappearing acts. "Tell me about it."

Mrs. Jung sighed, a wistful expression crossing her face as if she were reminiscing about a bygone era.

"I swear, that boy took after his father," she lamented, shaking her head with exaggerated despair. "At least my daughter listens to me."

I couldn't help but stifle a chuckle at her dramatic delivery, her words carrying the weight of generations of parental frustration. It was like witnessing a scene straight out of a soap opera, with Mrs. Jung playing the role of the long-suffering matriarch.

"Well, I'm glad you at least have a somewhat functional family," I quipped with a self-deprecating chuckle, causing my sister to snort unexpectedly, nearly spewing the meat she had just placed in . "Oops, didn't mean to trigger a choking hazard."

Mrs. Jung couldn't help but laugh at my remark, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Oh, Sooyoung, you always know how to lighten the mood," she remarked, patting my hand affectionately, "I would love to have you as my daughter-in-law, but you're too good for that brat of a son of mine."

I couldn't help but laugh at her playful jab, feeling a warmth spread through me at the thought of being welcomed into her family.

"Well, I appreciate the sentiment, Mrs. Jung," I replied with a grin, "but I think I'll steer clear of the family drama for now."

"Probably a wise choice," Mrs. Jung agreed, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But if you ever change your mind, just let me know. I'll make sure to have my son properly trained by then."

I chuckled at her playful offer.

"I'll be sure to let you know," I replied, matching her tone.

Just then, both my sister's and Mrs. Jung's pagers went off simultaneously, breaking the moment of levity with a sudden sense of urgency.

"Oh, duty calls," Mrs. Jung sighed, giving me a regretful smile as she rose from her seat. "Looks like I'll have to save the matchmaking for another day."

My sister nodded in agreement, already halfway out of her chair. "The patient in bed 3 went into a septic shock. Duty first, romance later."

I waved them off with a smile, understanding the demands of our profession. "Don't worry about it. Take care, both of you."

"Speaking of romance," Soojin called out, her voice carrying a mischievous tone as she paused a few steps away from the table. A wide, teasing grin spread across her face, and she shot me a knowing wink. "You still have a lot to tell me, little sister."

Rolling my eyes, I waved her away with a dismissive flick of my hand, a fond smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Soojin always had a way of teasing me about my romantic escapades, but deep down, I knew she was just looking out for me.

On my way home after a long shift, my phone buzzed insistently in my pocket. Glancing at the screen, I saw Jiwon's name flashing. With a mix of curiosity and apprehension, I answered the call and brought the phone to my ear.

"Hi, Jiwon," I greeted, trying to keep my voice steady despite the unease creeping into my thoughts. Jiwon calling me could only mean one thing - Hanbin. "What's up?"

"Hey, Sooyoung," Jiwon's voice came through the phone, sounding serious yet calm. "I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time."

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. "No, not at all. What's going on?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Jiwon spoke again. "I was wondering if we could meet up for a chat. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

His request caught me off guard, but I tried to keep my tone casual. "Sure, of course. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's about Hanbin," Jiwon replied, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of concern at the mention of his name. "I think we should talk in person. How about we meet at that cafe close to the hospital?"

I hesitated for a moment, my mind racing with questions, but ultimately, I agreed. "Sounds good. I'll see you there."

With that, we exchanged goodbyes, and I hung up the phone, my thoughts swirling with anticipation and curiosity about what Jiwon wanted to discuss. Setting off toward the cafe, I couldn't shake the feeling that our meeting would shed light on the mysteries surrounding Hanbin's recent behavior.

Sitting in a secluded corner of the cafe, I took a sip of my iced green tea latte, the cool, refreshing taste doing little to calm my nerves. Opposite me, Jiwon sat with his own iced Americano, his expression serious as he leaned forward, hands clasped together on the table between us.

"Hanbin hasn't been talking to you, has he?" Jiwon asked tentatively, his concern evident in his voice. I couldn't help but smile bitterly as I shook my head.

"No, not a word," I admitted, feeling a pang of sadness at the confirmation of Hanbin's silence. Jiwon sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair dejectedly.

"I knew it," he muttered, frustration lacing his words. His reaction only added to my growing sense of unease. Whatever was going on with Hanbin, it seemed that his silence was affecting more than just me. And as Jiwon and I exchanged worried glances once again, I knew that we were both grappling with the same unanswered questions about his friend.

"Hanbin is... complicated," Jiwon began, his voice tinged with a mixture of concern and reluctance. My curiosity piqued, I set my drink down on the table and leaned in, giving him my full attention. He continued after a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"I don't know how much I should tell you, but nothing he does is meant to hurt you," Jiwon explained, his expression serious. "I can tell he really cares for you."

His words caught me off guard, and for a moment, I struggled to process them. Despite the uncertainty and confusion surrounding Hanbin's recent behavior, Jiwon's assurance provided a glimmer of reassurance. Deep down, I had always sensed that there was more to Hanbin than met the eye, and Jiwon's words only confirmed that belief.

"Hanbin is like my brother. I've known him for years. That guy has been through some tough . He has been down on the lowest point, and he eventually succumbed to some pressure," Jiwon said carefully, his words laden with empathy and restraint.

I couldn't help but sigh, the weight of his revelation sinking in. Hanbin's struggles had always been a mystery to me, but Jiwon's cryptic words hinted at a depth of pain and turmoil that I hadn't fully comprehended.

"Does Han Sohee have anything to do with that?" I asked, my mind flashing back to the heated argument I had witnessed between Hanbin and the woman in question. At the sight of Jiwon's jaw tensing, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. It was clear that Hanbin and Sohee had some kind of secret between them that ran far deeper than I had imagined.

As Jiwon confirmed my suspicions with a solemn nod, a chill ran down my spine. The revelation about Hanbin and Sohee's connection sent my thoughts spiraling into a never-ending tornado of disbelief and concern.

"Sohee was an idol trainee at YG when Hanbin still worked there," he explained slowly, his voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and apprehension. "When Hanbin suddenly fell into a depression, Sohee provided... well, substances."

The words hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating me with their implications. My blood ran cold at the realization that Sohee had played a role in Hanbin's darkest moments, exploiting his vulnerability for her own gain.

Anger simmered beneath the surface, a fiery storm brewing within me as I struggled to comprehend the depths of Sohee's doings. How could she have manipulated Hanbin in such a callous manner, knowing the pain and suffering it would inflict?

The thought of Sohee still attempting to pressure Hanbin into doing drugs ignited a fierce rage within me, burning bright and unyielding. How dare she continue to prey on his weaknesses, dragging him further into the abyss?

In that moment, the protective instinct within me surged to the forefront, a fierce determination driving me to confront Sohee and put an end to her toxic influence once and for all. Hanbin deserved better than to be ensnared in Sohee's web of deceit and manipulation, and I would stop at nothing to ensure his safety and well-being.

"Obviously, Hanbin found some stable ground to stand on, and he got out of that mess," Jiwon continued before sighing heavily. "But he still has a tendency to disappear instead of facing his problems head-on."

Jiwon's words echoed in my mind, a stark reminder of the ongoing battle that Hanbin faced every day. Despite his resilience in overcoming past struggles, it was clear that the scars of his past still haunted him, manifesting in his propensity to withdraw from those who cared about him the most. A sense of hopelessness washed over me like a suffocating wave, leaving me feeling powerless in the face of Hanbin's ongoing struggles.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, weighing heavy on my heart as I grappled with the cruel truth that there was little I could do to alleviate his pain. No matter how much I longed to offer him solace, it seemed that Hanbin's demons were his alone to battle, leaving me feeling like a mere bystander in his ongoing war.

"But what can I do?" I asked, my voice tinged with frustration and helplessness. As I voiced my concerns, a whirlwind of troubled thoughts swirled through my mind. Our relationship, if one could even call it that, remained undefined, shrouded in uncertainty. Were we merely acquaintances passing by in each other's lives, or had our interactions blossomed into something more meaningful? I couldn't discern where we stood, and the ambiguity gnawed at my insides.

How could someone like me, with my own insecurities and uncertainties, possibly offer support to Hanbin? He was grappling with his own demons, wrestling with the shadows of his past that seemed to haunt him relentlessly. And here I was, feeling utterly inadequate in the face of his struggles.

My heart ached with the weight of my own doubts and fears, mingling with the desire to reach out and offer him peace. But the fear of overstepping boundaries or making matters worse held me back, leaving me stranded in a sea of indecision and doubt.

Jiwon smiled softly, his words weaving a gentle warmth around me.

"Hanbin has taken quite a liking to you, Sooyoung," he said, his tone carrying a hint of knowing. "I think he cares for you more deeply than you realize. And dare I say, you might also have some feelings stirring within you for him."

His observation sent a ripple of uncertainty through me, stirring up emotions I had long tried to suppress. Could it be true? Had Hanbin's actions and words held a deeper meaning all this time? And what about my own heart—had it been silently yearning for him without my knowledge?

As I grappled with the revelation, Jiwon's gentle smile offered a beacon of reassurance, nudging me to confront the truth lurking within my heart. Whether I was ready to acknowledge it or not, the possibility of something blossoming between Hanbin and me shimmered like a fragile dream, waiting to be embraced or shattered by the light of day.

The memory of Hanbin's embrace on the beach flooded my mind, a vivid recollection that washed over me with the gentle rhythm of the waves. I could still feel the warmth of his touch, the reassurance in his arms as if the world had momentarily fallen away, leaving only the two of us suspended in a fleeting moment of intimacy.

But intertwined with that memory was another, equally potent and electrifying. The memory of our almost kiss—the charged atmosphere, the anticipation hanging heavy in the air, the brush of his lips against mine before we were interrupted. It was a moment frozen in time, a tantalizing glimpse of what could have been, leaving an indelible mark on my heart.

At that moment, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks, draining the color from my face as if all the blood had rushed from my veins. Oh god. It's true. The truth, laid bare by Jiwon's gentle observation, left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, as if my innermost thoughts had been laid bare for the world to see. Seeing my mortified expression, Jiwon couldn't help but chuckle, his amusement evident in the twinkle of his eyes.

"I think you guys have something to work through," he remarked, his tone laced with a hint of teasing as he took a casual sip of his drink. "Give him some time. He'll come around."

As I turned to leave, my mind felt like a scrambled egg—utterly scrambled. I mustered a feeble attempt at a bow, but it probably resembled more of a contorted yoga pose than a respectful gesture. Jiwon waved back with a bemused expression, and I swear I saw a hint of laughter dancing in his eyes.

Walking away, I couldn't shake off the dazed feeling that enveloped me like a fog. I probably looked like a lost puppy, wandering aimlessly with no sense of direction. It was as if someone had hit the pause button on my brain, leaving me stuck in a comical loop of confusion.

People passed by, casting curious glances at the spectacle that was me—Sooyoung, the walking embodiment of befuddlement. I half expected someone to offer me a map or a compass, anything to help navigate the labyrinth of my thoughts.

But alas, I was on my own in this whirlwind of comedic chaos, stumbling through the streets with all the grace of a newborn giraffe. As I continued on my journey, one thing became abundantly clear—I was in desperate need of a mental GPS to navigate the maze of my own emotions.

"No, get away from me, you weirdo!" a voice, all too familiar, pierced the air from across the street, jolting me out of my bewildered daze. I turned to see a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy unfolding before my eyes.

There, on the opposite side of the street, a pint-sized whirlwind of fury darted towards me. I lifted my gaze, I spotted a small girl marching down the street, her hands clamped over her ears as if to shield herself from some unbearable horror. Her face twisted in a comically exaggerated grimace of annoyance that could rival any seasoned actor's.

In hot pursuit was a flustered figure—a man desperately trying to keep up with the girl's lightning-fast pace. His expression mirrored his panic as he called out her name in a futile attempt to reason with her.

"BYUL!" he shouted, his voice tinged with desperation.

But the girl l was having none of it. With all the dramatic flair of a pint-sized diva, she shrieked at the top of her lungs, "I DON'T KNOW YOU! HELP! A CREEPY MAN IS FOLLOWING ME!"

As she drew closer, I squinted through the chaos, and there she was—Hanbyul, charging towards me like a miniature avenger. Her eyes widened in recognition, and without missing a beat, she launched herself at me, her tiny arms wrapping around my waist like a vice grip.

"Unnie!" she exclaimed, her voice muffled against my side as she sought refuge from the supposed perpetrator. Perplexed, I watched as she puffed her cheeks out like a determined chipmunk before pointing toward the figure nearing us, "Rescue me! I don't know him!"

I glanced in the direction of her accusatory finger, only to see an all too familiar man approaching with exhaustion plastered on his face. My jaw dropped in disbelief. Was this some kind of twisted game?

The figure stumbled to a halt in front of us, doubling over with exhaustion as if he'd just finished a marathon. His chest heaved, and he looked like he'd run through a storm to get here. Through the haze of confusion, I realized who it was, but my brain refused to process it until he stood right before me.

And when he did, mouth still agape, I let out a barely audible whisper, as if afraid to speak it into existence.

"Hanbin?"

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RinnieDuhBunny
No one writes longer chapters than a horn-dog author writing a chapter

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