"Do you wanna come to Bucheon with Suho and me?" you ask on Friday when classes have ended for the both of you. This also means the start of a week-long holiday.

"Back to your hometown?" Kai asks, glancing at you as he makes a turn into your neighbourhood.

"Yeah," you nod. "I won't be around for the week otherwise. I'll be staying with my family."

He makes a face but shakes his head, "I don't wanna intrude."

"I can bring you around," you offer when he stops the car in front of your apartment. "Have you been to Bucheon?"

"It's fine, sweetheart," he smiles softly. The look he gives and the endearment he uses are enough to make you blush. "Go back and have fun. Don't worry about me." You jut your bottom lip out and he mutters in a teasing manner, "Go in, I'm wasting petrol just idling here."

You smack his arm and he laughs as you get out. Just before you close the door though, you bend slightly and look into the vehicle.

"Be careful and don't get into trouble, Kim Jongin."

You're at the beach with your high school friends when you receive a call from Kai. It has been two days since the start of your spring break and Suho has already returned back to Seoul. You answer the call quickly while your friends continue chatting and sunbathing.

"Where in Bucheon are you at?" comes Kai's breathy murmur.

"Are you okay, Jongin?" you stand and walk away from your friends, suddenly too worried for him. "Did you get into another fight?"

"Almost," he whispers, sounding a little shaky. "Is it too late to take up that offer of being with you in Bucheon?"

You laugh, feeling relieved and excited that he will be coming. You normally don't see him during the weekends but now that it has been four days since you last saw him, you kind of miss him.

"I'm at the beach."

"In the beginning spring?" he mutters. You can already hear him typing the address into his GPS.

"Today's weather is good for the beach," you tell him. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, I'll be there in 45 minutes."

You hum and he clicks off the call. You go back and inform your friends that another friend is joining you. They tease you about it because it is a guy friend and your cheeks are rosy and your eyes are dancing with excitement. Half an hour passes extremely slowly and you're constantly checking your phone for Kai's call or text to tell you that he's here. Forty minutes later, your phone rings again.

"Which area are you at?" he asks through the phone.

"E!" you tell him as you quickly rush to the entrance of the beach.

Your heart is beating in your chest and you're too excited and nervous about seeing Kai again. Your stomach does somersaults at the mere thought of him. You see the familiar black car driving into the car park of area E. Now you feel like vomiting and your body temperature has risen. You're so nervous.

Kai parks his car and you see the familiar head of fading pink-brown hair. You're bouncing on the balls of your feet as he walks to the entrance of the beach, his head lifted for the first time so that he can look out for you. He is playing with his car keys and you feel like you're out of breath just watching him look for you. And when his eyes stop on you, you feel like your body is going haywire. You feel so much hotter even when you're wearing a two-piece bathing suit underneath a lace shirt. Your heart is thumping so fast against your ribcage that you think you might have a heart attack. The butterflies in your stomach are on a rampage at the sight of Kai.

He fastens his pace when he sees you, a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes drop to what you're wearing and you see a knit in his eyebrows, like he is in disapproval. Kai finally stops in front of you and the both of you take time to take in the other's features, refreshing your memory of the other's face.

"Your hair colour is fading," you say, your grin too big on your face.

"You look brighter," he smiles softly. "Being back must be doing you some good."

"Maybe it'll rub off on you."

You take his hand as you wait for him to take off his shoes so that they don't get filled with sand. When he stands upright again, you start pulling him towards your group of friends.

"I don't like what you're wearing," Kai finally says, glancing at you. "Can you please wear a shirt over?"

"Of course, since you ask me so nicely."

"I just don't like it that guys are staring at you," he mutters unhappily. "I feel like punching them."

"Kai," you laugh, bumping your shoulder with his arm.

He rolls his eyes but a ghost of a smile is playing on his lips. You bring him over to your friends, who are staring at him. You know that Kai is attractive and you know that girls think he is hot. But even after three months of being friends with him, you're still not used to the stares and flirtatious smiles he receives from other girls. You're too protective over him and you know it.

While your friends introduce themselves to Kai, you take off the lace shirt you have and replace it with a pullover that belongs to Kai. You brought it with you to Bucheon only because you wanted an oversized sweater, not because you want to wear something that belongs to him, of course not. Kai notices the familiar pullover though, so he looks at you, ignoring your friends as they try to engage him in a conversation. He is still terrible with keeping his attention on things that don't interest him.

"Is that my sweater?" he asks you, even though he knows the answer already.

"I'm sorry," you laugh shyly. "It's just big and I like it, okay?"

"Sure," he laughs quietly. "You look nice in it anyway."

The rest of the time you're at the beach, Kai is mostly just talking to you even when your friends try to make conversation with him. He has been getting better with talking to strangers, but he is by no means good at it. After an hour since Kai arrived, you guys decide to leave the beach. While your friends take the bus back, you have Kai to drive you around. He takes your picnic mat from you and puts it into the the car boot. And before you step into his car, he makes you brush all the sand out of your clothes.

He is standing before you, his arms across his chest as he surveys you cleaning yourself. You think you're clean, but Kai doesn't. He points to your hair and you roll your eyes. Nonetheless, you ruffle your hair to get all the sand out. And when you're done, you look at him for the final assessment. Kai steps forward, so close that you have to hold your breath. Then he caresses your neck with his rough hand, gently sweeping the grains of sand from your sticky skin. You have to swallow the lump in your throat that you have come to realise is just your heart trying to jump out of your body.

"Where are we going now?" Kai murmurs, eyes flickering from your neck to your face.

"Are you hungry? What about dinner?"

He nods and, as a finish, brushes your hair off your shoulder gently. "Okay, get in the car."

He moves away, a hand on your waist, and opens the door to the shotgun seat. You slide in and dust your feet before you bring your legs in. Kai closes the door after you and goes over to the driver's seat. You change the radio channel because it was tuned to a sports channel that only Kai (and Suho) listens to. The owner of the car clucks his tongue but doesn't stop you anyway.

You give him directions to a seafood restaurant that you've been to many times when you were still living in Bucheon. When he reaches the place and has parked the car, he turns to you, pointedly looking at your bare thighs.

"Don't you have shorts or something?"

"Right," you nod, suddenly aware that you should be wearing shorts even if Kai's pullover is big on you.

You get your denim shorts out of your beach bag and leave the car to wear it. Kai shields you while you don it and you're glad for that because there are many dirty old men outside in the smoking area. Kai puts a hand on the small of your back as he guides you into the restaurant.

"Is your house far from here?" he asks when you're settled in a table. You shake your head and he nods. "Will your parents be okay with...?"

He trails off and you know what he means to ask. You smile reassuringly and nod. "Yes, I've called them. They're okay with it."

He gives you a grateful smile; a rare trophy that you want to keep in your collection of all the different smiles Kai has directed to you so far. Take a picture, preserve it, lock it up; only for you to see.

Dinner goes by smoothly; full of banter, conversation and laughter. Though Kai isn't the one laughing most of the time, he makes you laugh and that in turn makes him smile. You realise that though he doesn't like to laugh, he still lets a smile slip onto his lips, as if he can stop the laughter but can't prevent the smile.

By the time you're on the way back home, the sky is already dark enough for street lights to be needed. The trip back to your house should be short but Kai got lost once from the big neighbourhood you live in so you had to take a detour. And when he stops the car right outside your porch, you see your mother coming out of the house.

"Where's your friend?" she asks excitedly when you leave the car. Her eyes dart to the male who has just left the driver's side of the vehicle. "Ah, Kai, is it?"

"Yes," he murmurs, bowing politely to your mother. "Nice to meet you, auntie."

"I've heard so much about you!" she gushes, taking a hold of his arm.

Kai raises an eyebrow at you while looking uncomfortable with the way your mother is holding onto him. It's funny because Kai lets you touch him and you're sure he has to be comfortable with skinship. But seeing how he is trying not to cringe right now, you know that you're wrong.

"Let go of him, mom," you laugh, pulling Kai away from her. "He needs to get his things." 

"Have you guys had dinner? Where will you be sleeping? Junmyeon's room?" You give your mother a look and she laughs, "Okay, I'm sorry. Too many questions." 

She leaves the two of you while Kai gets out his duffle bag and your picnic mat from the car boot. When he meets you at the front of the car, he mutters, "You got your mouth from your mother, huh." 

You laugh, nudging him in the ribs. The two of you enter your childhood home and you see your parents waiting in the living room. Kai mumbles a greeting and they welcome him warmly. You've told them beforehand about his anger management and they were already prepared for the worst case scenario. A quiet Kai isn't so bad.

"Suho's room is empty since he's not home," your mother brings up, looking at Kai, waiting for him to oblige with sleeping there for the rest of the time. 

But Kai doesn't say anything because you speak up. "Is it okay if Kai sleeps with me? We'll leave the door open." 

Your father looks between the both of you. Then he shrugs, "Sure. Just don't lock the door." 

You blush and your mother quickly ushers the two of you to your room. You take a shower before Kai does, just because you're sandy and sweaty. Today was an exhausting day for you since you had been out the entire time. Because when Kai comes out of the bathroom, you're already slipping in and out of unconsciousness. You vaguely register the lights flickering off and Kai crawling into bed with you. 

The next morning you wake up with your face pressed to Kai's back, your arm around his waist. You twitch your fingers and realise that you're holding hands with Kai in your sleep. You jerk away from him and he makes a sound of displeasure. You sit up on your bed, your heart thudding in your chest. It feels like you've just woken up from a nightmare — albeit a good one. You go over to the windows and while you roll down the blinds to prevent the sunlight from streaming in, you hear Kai's morning voice calling out to you. You jump slightly and turn around to look at him. 

"It's only eight in the morning," he mumbles, eyes half open as he tries to look at you. 

"I know," you whisper, padding back to bed. "I'm going back to sleep." 

"Mmm," he hums. When you lay down in bed again, he goes closer to you. "You were holding my hand while you were sleeping, you know that?" he murmurs into your ear, hot breath hitting your cheek.

You swallow nervously, glancing at him. He is looking down at you, his eyes holding onto a kind of expression that you've never seen him wear before. He moves impossibly closer, for the first time the one initiating skinship as he presses his chest to your arm. 

"You were so close," he whispers.

You want to say something, but when you turn to him, you realise that he already has his eyes closed, getting ready to go back to sleep.

"Where's Kai?" your mother ask when you leave the room for breakfast. "And why are you so red?" 

You blush even more when you mumble, "He's in the bathroom."

Kai had been too close this morning and even though it was nice, it made you restless. You liked it too much.

Your mother quirks an eyebrow at your red face, but says nothing about it. Instead, she asks, "Where are you bringing him today?"

You shrug. "I have a reunion lunch later. I'll bring him with me. Not sure where we'll go afterwards." 

"Good morning, auntie," you hear Kai greet, taking a seat next to you. 

"Hope you had a good sleep, Kai," your mother smiles. 

"The best," he mutters. 

You have to blush again. "What's wrong with her?" your mother furrows her eyebrows at you as you choke slightly on your milk. 

He bobs his shoulders and acts like he doesn't know anything. Your mother still looks concerned, but entertains her guest anyway because you seem like you can't do it this morning. Kai doesn't say much, but you really did inherit your mouth from your mother. She doesn't stop talking to him despite the lack of response. And even while you're not saying anything, Kai is eating the egg yolk and the piece of bread that you've left aside on your plate because he knows you don't eat them. 

In the past few months that you've known Kai, the both of you have learnt a lot about each other. Kai found out that you don't like egg yolks and papayas. And you found out that he doesn't like eating vegetables, though you've always been forcing him to eat at least a bit. 

"Why aren't you eating your toast?" your mother frowns at you when Kai tears up your abandoned toast and pops the pieces into his mouth. 

You recently started to feel yucky when you eat wholegrain food and your mother is a health freak. Everything is either organic or wholegrain here.(Also explains why Junmyeon is one too.) Kai was there when you started developing this dislike towards wholegrain food, so he has always been your rubbish bin for the food you don't enjoy eating.

"She doesn't like wholegrain," Kai mutters. He brings a piece of bread to your mouth but you make a face and push his hand away. He smirks.

"But you used to like it..." your mother looks hurt. "Why don't you like it anymore?"

"I don't know," you mumble softly. "The texture, maybe?"

After muttering something about needing to change the bread and pasta at home, your mother leaves the dining table to start washing the dishes. The both of you finish breakfast as well, and then lounge around in your room, Kai using his phone on your bed while you use the desktop at your desk. By noon, you rush Kai to take a shower so you can go for your reunion lunch. You leave the house together with him at half past one. Kai drives to the location of the restaurant and the moment he sees so many people crowding round the table, his walls are back up, hiding the Jongin that you've gotten to know and love.

"Sorry for being late," you apologise to everyone as you walk with Kai to your seats. You introduce the male that you've brought along and you have to swallow that annoyance that bubbles up in your gut when the girls start to flirt with him.

All throughout lunch, Kai is quiet. He is someone who doesn't like too much noise and with so many people in one table, he is annoyed by all the chattering. There is a difference between just you talking incessantly and 16 people talking over each other all at the same time. You can feel his temper starting to peak, so you grab hold of his hand underneath the table, clenching on his fingers lightly. He glances at you and you smile softly at him.

"You okay, Jongin?" you whisper, leaning towards him.

He sighs, shaking his head. "Too noisy."

You rub his shoulder with your other hand, sympathising with him slightly. But then an ex-classmate of yours has to open his big mouth. Well, he wasn't a good student back then either, but more of a verbal bully. You don't even know who invited him since none of you really liked him anyway.

"Is your boyfriend deaf, or something?" he jokes, laughing.

But his laughter dies off when he sees Kai's glare. Even his stature looks intimidating, from the way he leans forward, his shoulders crouched like a lion ready to pounce on his prey. The table has gone eerily quiet and the tension is heavy.

Someone speaks up, "Don't say that, it's not nice."

"Right," the ex-bully mutters. "Sorry. I was insensitive. He must be mute then, if he can hear me."

Kai stands abruptly, his chair skidding back across the floor. Everyone is staring at you. You quickly get up and put a hand to his chest, rubbing comfortingly. Kai visibly relaxes, but not by much.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to say," you snap, a bit too loud and too biting for your character. Even Kai looks surprised that you sound like this. You grab your bag and tell your ex-classmate, tone too scary to ignore, "Even if my boyfriend is mute, he would still be better than you." You glare at your friends, making sure your words are clear to them when you say, "Don't ever call me for a reunion as long as that is coming."

You open your purse to get your wallet out to pay, but Kai has already gotten out a few bill notes, placing them in the table. You quickly take his hand and stomp out of the restaurant, leaving your friends stunned by your sudden outburst. You have always been a good-natured and calm girl. You don't make many outbursts like these. The entire time you drag Kai back to the car, the both of you are quiet and not saying anything. You don't notice the silence though, because you're so damn angry.

"Are you... okay?" Jongin finally asks when you're in the car, just sitting there and glaring at a random car that is parked opposite you.

You turn your head to him, the anger suddenly flying out of your body, only to be replaced by a sense of failure.

"Jongin, I'm so sorry," you cry. Kai looks so surprised at the tears welling up in your eyes and he looks like he doesn't even know what to do with you. You continue, "I shouldn't have brought you here. God, people are so disgusting. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you—"

Kai finally moves, unbuckling his seatbelt quickly and getting out of the car. You wipe your tears, watching him jog round the front of the car to get to your side. He opens the door and you stare at him, fresh tears sliding off your cheeks again because you're such a bad friend. And the fact that you can't even protect the boy you like from your own friends makes you feel so useless and stupid. 

"Hey, shhh," Kai squats next to you, cupping your cheek with his rough hand. He swipes the pad of his thumb on your skin, clearing a tear streak. "Shhh, baby, don't cry."

You cry even more because baby, he called you baby. And you couldn't even protect him once when he protects you all the goddamn time.

"Oh my god," he breathes when he sees more tears streaming down your face.

He shifts and slides an arm under your thigh and the other behind your back. He lifts you slightly and slides between car seat and you, settling you on his lap. He closes the door with one hand, while the other is rubbing your arm comfortingly.

"Hey, don't cry," Kai whispers into your hair, his lips pressing on the spot behind your ear.

Your breath stutters and you start to sob a little. Why is he being so sweet? He brings your head to his chest, letting you rest on him. His other hand is still rubbing your arm gently.

"Why are you crying?" he asks softly.

"Because I c-can't protect you," you stutter, sniffling as you press your nose into his shirt.

"Idiot," he murmurs, his tone holding all the affection in the world and not an ounce of ill feeling. "Why do you have to protect me, huh?"

You don't answer, so Kai pushes you slightly away from his body. He holds onto the sides of your face, his hands gentle and light as if he is afraid that he might break your neck or something. The look on his face is different from all the other looks you've seen him wear. You don't know how to describe it, but you just know that it makes your stomach flip and your heart sputter more than usual. 

"I can protect myself from people like these just fine," Kai tells you softly, eyes roaming round your face. "I don't need you to do it for me."

"But, Jongin," you whine slightly, sniffling.

He laughs softly. "You protect me, sweetheart," he relents. "You protect me from myself. And that is more important."

"But—"

"You're doing awesome, baby," Kai smiles softly as he wipes your tears with the back of his fingers. "And talking about protecting, isn't that a boyfriend's job?" You stop breathing and just stare at him. Because what is he saying? He curls your hair behind your ear. "I'm protecting you, not the other way around. Okay?"

"No, I want to protect you too," you murmur. You're no longer crying but your voice is quiet and tentative.

"Okay," Kai gives in, nodding. He leans in closer, so that your noses are touching and your heart is pounding. "Protect me by staying by my side," he whispers, lips just brushing yours.

In the past three months that you have been with him, many things have changed. The first month, he struggled. Kai wasn't used to someone talking to him all the time, neither was he used to having a friend.

The second month was where you saw small improvements. He listened to you better, though sometimes you know that he only pretended that he was listening (only times when he was tired). He was also getting better at containing his anger, though not by all means great at it. But he was trying and that was the most important.

The third month was when things started to really change. By then, you were already aware that you've developed feelings for Kai; a very deep and strong attachment towards him that you can't seem to let go of. You were getting closer too. Kai started letting you touch him when he used to despise skinship. And when you slept together, you found yourselves in a tangle the next morning, his nose often buried in your hair.

And now that the fourth month is here, everything is different. Kai is now sometimes the one initiating the skinship. His protectiveness over you is remarkable too, almost similar to a lion protecting its own territory. He smiles a lot more with you now, though when he is alone, he goes back into that little shell of his. And when you sleep at night, Kai would bring you close to his body. The only thing that doesn't change, is him pressing his nose to your hair.

Presently, you hear Kai asking Suho as he enters the house, "Where's your sister?"

"In her room," Suho answers. "She's sick."

"I know," you hear the younger boy sigh.

There's a knock on your door before Kai pops his head in. He takes in the image of you wrapped up in blankets, your eyelids droopy from the medication, your nose slightly red. He enters the room cautiously and stands at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed.

"Did you get into a fight?" you ask him, your voice coming out feeble and weak.

"Nope," he shakes his head. "What happened to you?"

"I don't know," you mumble, burying yourself deeper into your blanket. "I am in a fight with bacteria."

"Not funny," Kai mutters, coming closer to sit next to you on your bed. He feels your forehead with his hand and then sighs. "Uni was hard to face without you around."

You give him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I wish I had the energy to go to school to just be with you."

He sighs, shaking his head. "People there are stupid. I'm glad you didn't have to deal with them." You laugh, only to cough slightly. Kai frowns, "Are you very, very sick?"

You nod, turning onto your side as you feel the drowsiness of the medications creeping up on you. "Kai," you murmur. "I'm going to sleep..."

"Okay," he nods. "I'll be here when you wake up."

And when you wake up two hours later, Kai is indeed still here. He is sitting against the headboard next to you, his computer on his lap. He is absentmindedly touching his bottom lip as he reads the screen in front of him. You wiggle closer to him, leaning your forehead on the side of his hip.

"You're awake?" Kai asks, dropping his hand to your hair and threading his fingers through your locks. You nod your head though your eyes are still closed. "Suho hyung cooked for you before he left for dinner with his friends."

"What about you?" you croak out, looking up at him.

"I'll..."

"Should I cook for you?"

"No, you're sick."

"But you can't cook."

Kai narrows his eyes on you, tugging on your hair lightly. You laugh, nuzzling your face in his hip again. He caresses the back of your head, an action so gentle that for a moment, you forget that other people actually see him as a monster.

"I'll cook something for you."

"Should I carry you?" Kai asks you.

You shake your head but he is so anxious over your sickly state that he won't take no for an answer. So he ends up carrying you the kitchen bridal style with your hands circling his neck. Just as he sets you down, you hear his phone ringing in your room. The both of you stare at each other before he walks off to get his cell phone. Two months ago, he never would have picked up his phone.

Whenever his phone rang, it was mostly either you or his mother. And since you're with him most of the time, it means that the person calling him now is his mother. He never liked interacting with his family. Only because they didn't know how to deal with Kai's behaviour. But now, he just needs your reassurance to pick up the phone and he does. There's something about being on the phone with his mother that always makes him angry. You assume it is just the way his mother speaks to him that he doesn't like.

"I can't go home now," Kai mutters into the phone as he leaves your room, coming to join you in the kitchen. He quickly stretches his arm when he sees you struggling to get a can of soup in the overhead cabinet. "She's sick, I can't leave her," he says in annoyance, like he doesn't get why his mother won't understand.

"You can go, I'll be fine," you whisper.

But Kai only places the can of soup in front of you as he reaches over to the sink on the other side from behind, his arm slings over your shoulder and chest, his torso pressed against your back. Before he goes to wash his hands, he leans down so that his lips are at your ear. He is so close that you can hear his mother rambling on the other end of the line.

"I don't wanna go anywhere you're not," he whispers into your ear, away from the phone.

You hope neither the mother nor son hears the loud beating of your heart against your ribcage. 

Author's note:

I only edited this chapter; no more, no less. I might upload the rest of the story (since I don't think I will be adding extra scenes in them) once i've edited them. I will probably make an extra chapter before the epilogue. 

Till next time
xoxo