For the first time in my life, I was stunned, embarrassed and in shock. My mind went blank as if I lost control of my thinking and emotions. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening at that time. It was as if I transferred to another world where I did believe at one point that we could be together, not because it was someone else’s choice, but ours. For a moment, I felt safe, and everything would be all right in the end, but it was also naif thinking. I knew this wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t how I pictured my first kiss, and I wouldn’t dare to imagine it with him. 

Somehow I regretted my decision for running away like that, because I was afraid to face him, or my feelings for that matter. He got me off guard, and yet I didn’t, even for a second, pushed him away from me. I kept playing out the whole scenario in my head, and even if I wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, I couldn’t lie to myself. The more I try to deny it; the more my feelings towards him would be intensified. My heart already knew, but my head was afraid, trying to push the feelings out, but it wouldn’t go away. 

How am I supposed to face him head-on with this, I couldn’t figure it out. Was it even a real thing, or was he just playing with my emotions trying to get to me? I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. I also didn’t give him the chance to explain; instead, I ran away like a coward. 

I glanced over to look at Chanyeol; even if the campfire separated us, I could still see his face. I’ve been avoiding him the whole time, but he didn’t actually try to speak with me either, so maybe we should just forget about this entire thing, right? But then, how could I possibly forget something like this, even if I wanted to. Did he also forget already, or was he pretending too? Maybe I should just let it go and think nothing of it, right? 

“Yah,” Chae Won whispered, as I looked next to me, not sure if I missed the whole game already. Most of the time, I couldn’t even follow what was happening. I laughed from time to time, but I wasn’t there. “Something wrong?” 

Again, I looked at Chanyeol because I wasn’t sure if I should tell her now, but decided to say to her later. Otherwise, she would scream right here and then the whole thing would come out. I wasn’t prepared to explain to everyone, and it would be too obvious as well. 

“I’ll tell you later, ok?” I whispered back, Chae Won agreed and nodded. 

Eventually, Mr Lee came back to check up on us to see if we had found the ten red envelopes as instructed. He was delighted when he saw us sitting here together, trying to bond as if he had done his mission for today and was glad that he succeeded. He soon left again, doing his round, checking up on our other classmates, to see how they were doing. 

Everyone was having a good time, even Minji and Ga Eun were laughing the whole time, and Myungsoo seemed to enjoy himself as well with the entire group, especially with Kai and Sehun. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were always playing and teasing each other if it wasn’t Chanyeol, it was nice to see that they’re so close and comfortable with each other. 

The night had fallen upon Gapyeong as we all decided that it was time to go to bed. Back at our tent, I finally told Chae Won what happened, and the girl couldn’t be happier to hear. We talked for a while before she suddenly fell asleep, but I was still wide awake even if I had woken up early, I wasn’t sleepy at all. My brain decided that it wasn’t time for me to sleep yet; instead, it played out the whole scenario that I wanted to forget, just to annoy me. 

After one hour I gave up, afraid I might wake Chae Won up, and decided to take a walk instead to clear my mind. I noticed that some of the students were still awake, secretly drinking beer and soju while having lots of snacks. I turned the other direction, away from the students, leaving them be, towards the big pond nearby. As I got closer, I noticed someone in a hoody and shorts sitting there. I wasn’t sure if I should say something but decided to be friendly anyway as it was probably a fellow student. 

“Can I join you?” I asked, quietly sitting down next to that person, picking up some small stones and mindlessly throwing them one by one in the water. “Don’t mind me,” I said, trying not to interrupt the other student. “I won’t disturb you.” 

I didn’t get an answer-back and looked to my left to see who it was, but the hoody was in the way preventing me from seeing. 

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” I said, trying to start a conversation, but it felt as if I was talking to myself. 

“Why are you here?” A sudden familiar voice said back, throwing me off guard again. 

I knew that voice all too well, as I looked right into his dark brown eyes when he revealed himself from under his hoody. My heart skipped a beat when I realised it was Chanyeol, out of all the students here, the one I wanted to avoid the most was him. We kept looking at each other, as if we had this staring contest, waiting to see who would win. 

“I couldn’t sleep…” I whispered back, turning away first, looking down on the water in front of me, as the moon gave it light. “You?” 

“Same…” Chanyeol answered, and it got quiet again. “About earlier…”

My heart sank because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it yet, I wasn’t ready or prepared to hear what he had to say. Maybe I didn’t want to be disappointed as well. 

“I know it was a mistake…” I sighed, looking down at my feet, afraid to face him. “Don’t worry; I didn’t think much of it anyway.” I lied, as my eyes got tears in them, trying to hold back. 

“Yes, it was…”

“I should go back…” I said because I couldn’t handle the disappointment in my heart but suddenly felt a soft hand around my wrist, preventing me from leaving. 

“Wait,” he said, pulling me back. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

I sat down again as he came closer while letting go of my wrist. I didn’t fully understand what was happening but decided to listen. I can’t run away again like before. That wouldn’t be right. 

“I’m confused,” I said, not knowing what to expect from him. 

“At first, it was a mistake…” He continued. “But then I realised that it wasn’t…” 

I was so sure that I’m missing something because I still didn’t understand what he was trying to say. He wasn’t his usual self. The tone of his voice seemed different, and his eyes were more sad than usual. 

“It’s not a mistake, Hae Ra…” He suddenly confessed, leaving me speechless. “I wanted to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand…” I said back, not prepared for all of this. “I thought…”

“You thought wrong,” Chanyeol cut me off. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Do you mean it?” I asked him, not sure if I should believe it because it was impossible for him to like me. 

Chanyeol looked down, being all quiet. “NO, HAHA!” He suddenly laughed and pointing his finger at me. “You should’ve seen your face!” 

I was stunned again and felt so stupid for almost believing him, but couldn’t help feeling disappointed somehow. Tears ran down my face, but this time I wasn’t hurt, I was angry instead because of his stupid and dumb action for making me believe in something that wasn’t there. I pushed him into the pond as he screamed out of shock and disbelief. 

“YAH!” He yelled out to me, but I couldn’t care less because he deserved this big time. 

“Do that stunt again, and I will kill you Park Chanyeol!” I screamed back, leaving him there, as I returned to my tent, being frustrated and cussing at the same time. I can’t believe this, I thought! I shook the idea out of my mind and told myself not to trust him ever again. Why is he like this, making me all confused? 

Chanyeol starts to shiver, standing in the pond, still thinking about what he did, instead of confessing he hurts her, again. Somehow he lost his confidence, going back to his usual selfish mean and cowardly way. It was a cruel thing to say to a girl, especially after what he did, so he probably deserved this anyway, looking down in the water, seeing his reflection and decided to go out.

He didn’t regret kissing her for even a second, but couldn’t face her properly either. It was his mistake for making her feel like that, so he wasn’t angry for being wet right now. It was a foolish thing to do on his end; he must be careful in the future. But somehow, every time he’s near her, it’s like he wants to treat her right and tell her everything will be ok, but couldn’t. He couldn’t admit it, not just yet. 

“Yah, where have you been? I was worried, sick!” Baekhyun almost yelled, but held his temper in control, afraid he might wake up the rest of the group.

Chanyeol looked surprised because he thought his friend was asleep when he left. “Why are you awake?”

“I saw you leave, but then you didn’t return for a long time, so I got worried.” He said, pushing his friend inside the tent since it was cold outside. “Btw, why are you wet?” 

Chanyeol looked down at his shoes and clothes, “Hae Ra pushed me into the pond.” He smiled awkwardly. 

“Omo,” Baekhyun gasped, “you guys fought again, even at this hour?” 

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol smiled, thinking back. “I deserved it this time.”

Baekhyun chuckled, trying not to wake Kyungsoo up. “Well, if you say so… Anyway, clean up and go to bed, it’s late.”

Chanyeol nodded. Baekhyun went back to bed but still waited for his friend. Even if he’s always joking around in the group, he cared for his friends. 

“You know,” Baekhyun said, trying not to wake their other friend. “You should stop fighting already. We already know you like her.” He smirked. 

Chanyeol looked surprised as he tucked himself under his blanket. “What do you mean?” He pretended. 

“The way you treat her, trying to push her away is just a defence mechanism. I mean, if you like her, let her know what’s going on. You don’t always have to pretend to be so tough, because you know deep down, you are a sweet guy.” Baekhyun said back. “I wasn’t born yesterday. It's not you.” 

Chanyeol looked up, thinking about what Baekhyun just said, knowing that his friend was probably right, but he couldn’t admit his feelings towards her yet. Even if he wants to, it’s not that simple.

“Isn’t it nice to marry someone you like in the end?” Baekhyun smirked. 

Chanyeol looked back at his friend, “Yah, since when are you so serious?”

“I wished I had someone who I like so much…” Baekhyun sighed, although he