Sakura in Gimael

The Barbarian's Cherry Blossom

(Endless Legend: EarthSpine)

Ghoghtal-Gimael Border

 

Sakura's eye flickered open as the Aurigan sunrise breached her trademark bodypart. She must have fell asleep after storing the boxes of luggage into her master's carriage. She raised her body up and saw Paruru and Takamina casually chatting with 2 humans. One had a Wolf's pelt covering his head and a long mustache and goatee to go along with it. The other was a heavily-armored twenty-something or more individual who carried a spear in hand. She looked behind and saw Hayato eating breakfast consisting of some Bucella, Milk, and some nuts.

"So, Your Sakura?" Asked the Spear-man

"Yes, and you are?" Sakura asked back

"Osgar, Osgar Daguth. And Wolf coat is Ulrich Langobard. You fell asleep when you finished packing our stuff  into the carriage, so your lady friends plus little boy had to pack you too!" Osgar laughed and teased

"Mmmmmmm....... Lazy!.......*inhales*" Ulrich added

"Sakura! You should look outside now!" Takamina said cheerfully

Sakura crawled to the nearest window and was astonished to see what Auriga was outside. She saw wildlife of unimaginable shapes, and colors. Flowers that look like straight from someone's imagination. And rock formations that could even beat the ones in America's deserts or anywhere else back in Earth.

She spotted a group of rocks that were shaking uncontrollably infront of her and became frightened.

"Earthquake!" she screamed

"What where?......... Oh! Hahaha! False Alarm!" Osgar looked outside his window and quickly faced the 4 earthlings and explained:

"Those shaking rocks are called Rumbling stones. Scholaes says its a spot of some very active plate tectonics. Mining is very profitable near them as the constant shaking makes alot of minerals pop out like bombs." Osgar reassured

"Mmmmm..... Scaredy!" Ulrich added.

The carriage continued to move further north. The climate changed from temperate to tundra and snow was falling everywhere. The Gimaelics were kind enough to give their new servants fur coats. After the earthligns got used to the hairiness of animal's skin, Hayato asked.

"Osgar-san, why is Ulrich-san talk funny?"

"He is half-human actually, Half man and wolf. He underwent training with a group of warriors called Tetikes. Basically they are wolfmen. Its mandatory for their non-human warriors to under go a blood transfusion with another tetike. One can obtain heightened senses, increased athelicsm and endurance. But the side effects are abnormal heart rates, impulsiveness, sado-masochism and what your seeing now, crude language." Osgar said

Takamina looked at the Wolf-man with nervous eyes, she felt a feeling of fear and pity for the beserker and just couldny imagine being in the bad side of 'the Young Wolf'.

As the climate became colder and less forested, the Earthlings saw even more of Auriga's many natural wonders. Giant tree-flowers whose snow colored petal-leaves fell down to the floor like cherry blossoms on a spring day. Sakura herself smiled at the Crystalline Flower-Trees, it reminded her of the tree that her parents named her after. They also saw Ice Sculptures that dotted the Tundra lands of Gimael. The sculptures had images of warriors holding spears, axes and swords raising up in the air or in a killing position to a subdued beast.

The carriage soon stopped at a large heavily-guarded wall.

"Ladies and little boy, welcome to Guaita! Your new home!" Osgar said loudly.

The carriage was allowed to move forward since it contained the entourage of their ruler. The streets of Gimael in the eyes of the AKB girls were filled with many people of different walks of life going around doing their bussiness. Guardsmen were patroling the streets while also hailing their High King as he passes. Merchants were selling off the spoils of war in their stalls. Noble's walking around in their expensive clothing and weapons. Hunters were returning home with the day's catch. And the only piece of sand in the eye on the sights of the city was random men beating each other up near Taverns.

The carriage went up to a steep hill and the houses soon changed from ragged up and practical to more luxurious and foreign influenced. The carriage soon arrived to Guaita's centre and stopped.

The doors of the carriage opened and its occupants who were eager to be back home, went out.

"And Lethuc said 'You shouldnt see the look on his face when I shoved my sword in to his heart!' and he climbed up the table and roared!" Rainoric reminisced

"And drank a Drinking horn in one gulp." Wulfgar added

"Now my son, your already of age and you will soon lead armies, battles and of course raids. But you must focus on your trials.  It helped me learn the very nature of war before I had my first real battle." Gewis said

The Eadwulf's walked up the stairs of their hold and lead their Gedrihts and slaves up.

"Wulfgar! Have the new slaves up at their quarters! They will be put to work tommorow." Rainoric ordered

Wulfgar lead Sakura, Paruru, Takamina and Hayato to the servants quarter's and led them to their rooms. The quarter was a gender-organized building with female's on one side and males on the other. Since Hayato is 11 years-old and a boy, he was assigned to the male section of the quarter, but Paruru obviously revolted.

"Hayato! Please! At least let me at least give him a good night kiss before bedtime." Paruru pouted.

Wulfgar stared into her eyes through his eyeless sockets not knowing what to do immediateley.

"Please? Wulfgar-kun?" Paru puted more with a bigger emphasis on her trademark 'worried' face.

"Fine! Kiss him and be done with it! Its almost bed-time!" Wulfgar gave in.

Paruru walked to her brother and gave him a kiss and assured him that everything will be okay and went back to the women's quarter.

-----------

Sakura and Takamina looked at their assigned bunk beds and couldnt decide who gets which part of the bed.

"Janken Pon!" They challenged each-other. Sakura had a rock while Takamina had a scissors.

"Bottom!" Sakura said and quickly laid her body down on the bottom bed.

She grabbed her pillow and blanket and was getting her body accustomed to the bed. When she found her sweet spot she asked Takamina.

"Takamina, will we ever see Japan, AKB and Earth again?"

Takamina, who heard those words, thought hard to herself and replied.

"Yes, if we all keep hope alive, maybe the Eadwulf's will free us. Maybe if we can charm that Rainoric boy he might like us enough to free us."

Sakura listen carefully to her Oshi and had to muster up all the hope she has She will need it in her days in Auriga. She closed her eyes and fell into the embrace of sleep.

 

The Next day.............

"Fetch me those new slaves father got from Earth I want to test them out!" Rainoric ordered, he rang a horn which was heard around the castle.

Sakura, Paruru, Hayato and Takamina, dressed in servant uniforms and introduced to the layout of the hold entered the prescence of the warlord-in-training.

"Ok I will give you 4 humans simple tasks that even an Idiot can accomplish." Rainoric said

"Minami and Haruka!"

"Hai!" They said together

"Go with Osgar and help him carry the items he will buy in the market today. Hayato also known as 'Paruru's' little brother! I assume your now well verse with the important Individuals of this hold so, pass this letter to Wulfgar. He needs to know the words of my letter! And as for you Miss Sakura. Their is a Scriptorium* by the nearest left corner of the street we are in that has a book I need." Rainoric passed a note to Sakura. When she opened the note she saw that the writing was in the Aurigan alphabet.

"Eslek Tarosh knows what the note is saying. Just do me and everyone a favor, dont make fun of his appearance." Rainoric added. He dismissed his new servants to their first tasks.

Sakura grabbed on a coat that was standard issued to the servants and walked outside of the hold and went to the Scriptorium*.

When she got inside the scholarly building and looked up in amazement of what she saw. The Scriptorium was stacked with shelves of books that had a bright golden glow highlighting them. Some of the books she saw were also freely floating above her. Sakura felt like she was in Harry Potter's Castle in Osaka.

Then a golden figure materialized out of the dust that covered the scirptorium.  He wore an orange robe and a mask and had an almost human like appearance. But like anything that lives in Auriga, the figure that Sakura saw was not human. It's body was tattoed with strange symbols highlighted by dust and he didnt have legs but floats from the ground like a ghost.

Sakura was about to get a heart attack and run out of there screaming when the ghost spoke.

"Do not be afraid Yamanin, Im Eslek Tarosh , the Archivist of this Scriptorium."

"Hello..... Eslek......Um.... Rainoric wants a book...." Sakura nervously said. She gave the ghost the note Rainoric gave her. The ghost glanced at the Aurigan alphabet characters of the note. He turned back and with some gestures of his hands, the books in the scriptorium, began to move. They flew everywhere left and right, up and down, north to south, east to west and etc. Then just as the flying spectacle began, a book landed softly at the hands of Eslek and the books stood still either on their shelves or floating up in the air.

"Most humans are at first scared when they meet my kind. Im what in the Aurigan tongue is translated to your tongue, a Haunt. My race are like cousins to the Broken Lords. Anyway, here is the Book Rainoric wanted, Miss...?" Eslek asked

"Sakura Miyawaki, but you can call me Sakura."  Sakura answered.

"Sakura, from my recent studies on Earth's culture, that means Cherry Blossom. A type of plant grown in the North East of the Asia continent."

"Yes how do you know?"

"When Gewis returned from Earth he also brought back some books for me to translate. The Scholae's wanted to get their hands on the books but in the language of Auriga and so I volunteer to do it since I live here in Gimael in this very Scriptorium. But no time for long Introductions, Rainoric really needs that book now! Off you go and dont disturb me unless its important!" Eslek gently pushed out Sakura outside of the Scriptorium and closed the door on her. Despite the rude conclusion, she has a duty to do. With the book in hand she went back to the Hold.

When she returned to Rainoric, he was inside his workshop near his room. He has various blacksmith equipment spread out neatly in the room. He also had a bullseye target and a scratched and worn training dummy in there too. Rainoric was demonstrating to Hayato, Paruru and Takamina his latest workshop project. It was a Francisca or a throwing axe and he threw the axe to the target and hit the bullseye.

"Wow! Sugoi! Rainori-san!" Hayato said

"What?" Rainoric asked not knowing the word Sugoi

"It means amazing." Takamina smiled

"Well thank you little boy. Ah! Sakura has the book now we can begin!"

Sakura placed the book on the table and Rainoric opened it and began reading its alphabet.

"What's the book you requested for me to obtain my Lord? If I may ask?" Sakura asked.

"A study of Geldrius movement patterns. They are a large beast monster's are highly prized for its fur and ivory. I need to know where to find it so we can kill it and dance on its corpse."

"Dance on its corpse?" the Earth girls asked in unision.

"His father wants him to prove his bravery by killing an Alpha Geldrius and presenting its head and skin to him as proof. The Alpha's are said to be very stubborn when it comes to taking a Javelin to the face." Wulfgar said.

"Why would you want to kill it? Teacher said killing animals for fun is bad." Hayato protested

"Whoa.... If that's what your Scholae's teach you in your schools its no wonder we kicked your assess so easily. You cant even handle a little bloodshed, not even your own!" Rainoric teased.

"What's so important about these 'trials' I keep hearing about between you and your father?" Sakura asked.

"Allow me to lecture about our customs. Every noble family in Gimael holds a rite of passage for their sons when they come of age into adult hood, for Broken Lords, that's around 1500 years old. The young man would go through several trials that will test his strength, cunning, leadership, willpower and bravery.Most of the trial usually involves fighting stuff. And about 10 percent of being a warlord is ruling people and the 90 percent involves reminding people your ruling them!" Rainoric proudly said

Just then, an announcement was heard on the Hold's calling horn which is like a PA system in a school.

"Rainoric! Please head to the Assembly hall now!" It was the voice of Gewis.

The Gedriht and their Earth slaves followed Rainoric to the Assembly hall that was next to the Hold.

When they arrive Gewis greeted his son.

"My boy! Today you will learn one of the basic lessons a warlord must know that doesnt involve fighting! Judgement!"

Rainoric was lead up to a raised throne in the center of the Hall. The hall was filled with a couple dozen of Gimael's nobles.

 

---------------- From this point to the end will contain a dash of Mature content------------------------

 

"Today's Judge is the Son of High King Gewis, Rainoric. We have only 3 cases that needs resolving today. Its been surprisingly quiet ever since everyone's father, son, and brother came back from a raid and we reported that there was no cases of someone splitting someone's skull over the other man's loot." Said an official that stood up.

"Bring in the 1st case!" Rainoric ordered

A large door was opened and a very ashened individual in chains escorted by 2 guards by his side. Sakura could guess he must have been involved in a fire by the char in his body.

"This man was caught in the act of torching one of our tax collector's houses. Fortunately for the Tax man involved he was outside at the time." Said one of the guards.

"He extorted me! His goons even clubbed me till I coff up more coins!" The man pleaded

"Silence Arsonist! You have no right to burn another man's house over an alleged extortion!" Rainoric shouted

"HE REALLY DID EXTORT ME!" the man cried

"I Extort our Tax Collectors way much more than he Extorts you! For your punishment a taste of your own sin! Lock him up in a box cage! And roast him untill his skin crackles like a ling Pork!" Rainoric ordered.

Sakura saw the terrified look on the man's face as he was dragged away to his fate.

"That was a very fast trial." Takamina commented.

"What's a ling Pork Ane?" Hayato asked

"Roasted Tonkatsu.......... Dont Imagine it for your own good." Paruru warned.

"Next Case!" Rainoric shouted again

This time a clean and well-fed looking fellow was brought in accompanied by another pair of guards. They made the man kneel under the prescence of the Eadwulf's. The Noble's had a very expectant look on their faces as if they deal with this everyday.

"Let's get rid of the formalities for this one. Spy, Wall, and the proof? Here's a letter with a very particular seal." The guard raised his arm to show a scroll sealed by a fastener with the symbol of a faceless head."

(An Idea of what the seal should look like)

Rainoric stepped down from his throne and walked towards the spy and said to him.

"Stand up."

The captured spy stood up and faced the Warlord-in-training.

"Look down." Rainoric ordred oxymoronicly.

The spy looked down on the floor. But as he did, Rainoric grabbed his seax from his belt and stabbed the man in the back. The sudden strike didnt kill him however but made the man feel limp. The AKB girls shrieked in shock. Takamina covered her eyes. Paruru covered Hayato's like a good elder sister and closed her eyes shut. But Sakura could only watch in shock, paralysed to see her master perform such cruelty.

"Pass me the letter soldier" Rainoric said. After he was handed the letter, He removed the seal, dropped it on the floor and stomped on it untill it was broken in to pieces. He began to say out loud to the audience.

"Blah! Blah! Blah! Wall Drawing! Blah! Blah! Blah! Guard rotation Blah! Blah! Blah??? Ooohhh. Hey everyone listen. 'My Deacon, the Gimealics are slowly uncovering our entire spy ring.' And your gonna love this! 'Help!'." He said sarcastically. Showing the opened letter to the Nobles.

Rainoric dragged the hapless spy with the seax still attached to his back to a window. He ordered the man:

"Cry for Help!"

"Hhhhheeeeelllllppppp......" The spy cried weakly

"Is your Queen sending prepubescent children for her spies? Cry louder!"

"HHeeeellppp!!!!"

"From the LUNGS! CRY IT!"

"HHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!"

"Now.... shhh..... you hear that? Its sounds like your Unspoken isnt coming for you my friend. Guards, spill out everything he know's use every torture method if you have to and cut up a limb if you must. I want this Cultist's spy ring exposed and brought down." Rainoric pulled out his seax from the back of the spy and pushed him to a pair of guards who would take him to the dungeon.

Rainoric walked toward's the Earthlings and began to lecture.

"So you girl's plus one boy are most likely going to ask, "My lord, who are these 'Cultists' you apparently hate a lot?" Well my sweet Sakura, those terrorists! They ruin everything! Spreading lies about us and any other Broken Lords, Political Destablizing, Banditry and the occassional horde attack. My Earth slaves, if you encounter them, RUN KIDDO! RUN!"

Sakura's eyes began to she tears of fear over her master and her body trembled as if winter arrived in Kagoshima.

"Last case now! My finger is itching!" Rainoric ordered as he went back to his throne.

The last judgement case came through the door and the defendant was a poor middle-aged man. He looked malnourished and sickly from his appearance.

"This man is a thief who was caught stealing some furs in the market today." Said one of the guards who escorted them.

Sakura looked on to the poor man. He must have stolen the furs to warm himself from Gimael's tundra climate. The captured man was shivering to himself infront of the Warlord's prescence.

"Hold his limbs down! And dont bother to muff him. I want to hear him scream." Rainoric said

The guards quickly subdued the man and made him lay down on his chest. They spread his limbs apart and each guard held an arm and a leg. Rainoric stepped down from his throne again and walked towards the petty thief. As he approached, he unsheathed his Francisca*.

"Oh no! I think I know what he is going to do!" Wulfgar said

Sakura couldnt bear to see more horror on her watch. A man being condemned to a furnace, a spy going to be tortured and now a thief who stole for the sake of warmth in his body is going to have an unspeakable punsihment be inflicted upon him. Sakura couldnt bear to see this happen before her. She leapt out of her seat and ran towards Rainoric followed by Takamina, Paruru, Osgar and Wulfgar. She stopped between Rainoric and the thief, a mere meter was seperating him and the thief becoming a quadrapeligic. She leaned her 2 hands on Rainoric, followed by the Hands of Wulfgar, Osgar, Takamina and Paruru.

"Dont you think punishing the thief to this extent is too acrid my lord?" Osgar asked

"Please dont kill the man over a a piece of fur! He is probably cold! Just look at his clothes? It has holes in it. No way it could be suitable to the weather out here." Sakura tried to reason with Rainoric.

"And who give you the authortiy to tell me what to do? Get off of me you filthy slave!" Rainoric shouted trying to shove Sakura aside but was being held back by 2 of his bodyguards and his other Earth slaves. The sheer barbarity of this kangaroo court shook Sakura's psyche to the breaking point. Being pushed forcefully by her master and seeing him abused his human citizens as if mere dolls for the sadistic soon brought a founatin of tears in her eyes.

"Please my Lord! Have mercy!" She cried

Rainoric looked in to Sakura's eyes, being a Broken Lord, he only knew a handful of human emotions. Happiness, Pridefullness and Anger. The look he saw in her face was absolutely foreign to him.

"What in Wodanaz's name is wrong with your eyes?" He asked letting go of Sakura and sheathing his Francisca to its place in his belt.

"My Lord,if I may interrupt this court. What Sakura is doing with her eye's is called 'crying' it usually happens among Yamanins as a way to express sadness." Eslek Tarosh who suddenly appeared in the hall said outloud. Eslek usually records and archive's the sayings and quotings of the many political gathering's in the Hall behind the scenes.

"And what is Sadness?" Rainoric asked

"An emotion that is exclusive to Yamanins, it is like a wound that strikes into ones heart. You see Rainoric, Sakura is sad is that she is seeing you hurt other people for no good reason. This could affect badly for your look according to the eyes of the common folks. Spare the man from an undeserved death, but punish him still. Their is more to being a Warlord than putting down those lesser than you." Eslek reasoned

Rainoric turned to Sakura to see her covering her face and crying. The things he done in the name of Justice most likely scarred her and now she descended herself into the emotional pits of grief, confusion and sorrow. Then Rainoric spoke with a softened voice.

"Flog him. 100 strikes and get this filthy beggar out of my castle."

The guards helped the man up and walked him outside to Gimael's tundra climate. Rainoric looked on to the thief who is now going to his now waned punishment. He then turned to his Earth slaves.

"Your still needed tommorow. Get yourselves together. You will be needed to carry hunting gear for the Geldrius hunt. Make sure you bring a coat its snowy in the forest this season."

He then turned around and walked back to the Hold for the last minute preparations for the Hunt fo the Alpha Geldrius. Sakura, Paruru, Takamina, Hayato, Osgar and Wulfgar turned to the other direction. When they went outside, Sakura saw the 2 guards were flogging the thief with a wooden stick. She couldnt help but feel pity for the man. His back was bruised and cutted from the repeated blows.

"Sakuratan, lets go to bed, we need to rest for tommorow." Takamina said

"I'll catch up to you later. I just need too....uhm.....collect my thoughts after what we saw today." Sakura replied

Takamina soon left Sakura to herself and headed for bed. Sakura looked on to the flogging with the thought of mercy in her mind.

"97......98.....99....100! Now get out!" The guard flogging the man said. But the thief was so severly weakened by the snow and flogs that he could barely lift his chest. The 2 guards left the man to fend for himself. When they left, Sakura ran to the thief and gave him her coat.

"You deserved better than this." She said while giving her coat

"Tttt.....hhaa.....kkkkk....yyyyy.....ooouuuuu..." He weakly replied, spitting out saliva mixed blood on the white snowy ground.

Sakura carried over her shoulder the man's arm and took him to a nearby well. She used the pulley of it to draw out the water and fed it to the man. No refreshed and with a warm coat on his back, the man could now barely stand in his 2 legs. Sakura continued guiding the man to he Hold's gate and opened the door just as it was about to be locked by the guard's men.

"Who are you? You gave me mercy? Why?" The thief-beggar asked

"Im not like you Aurigan. In my planet, we all give mercy to those who needed it. And you needed it more than ever." Sakura said as she opened the gate. She let the man out of the hold and then waved goodbye to the beggar but not forgetting to add the words:

"And my name is Sakura." before closing the gate smiling at the now grateful beggar.

She then walked back to the servants quarter now ready to get some sleep when Wulfgar stopped her.

"That was a very ballsy move you did back there! I have never met anyone who would dare stand up to a Warlord let alone the son of the Great Warlord himself."

"If Rainoric told you to scold me 'Tower' or think you can beat me into submission, do it now. But just to let you know, I will not give you the pleasure of hearing me scream. What I did their was simply the right thing to do. I cannot allow Rain to just kill the man infront of me and my friends." Sakura said sternly and with her face molded to the look of fearlessness.

"No, dont get me wrong but. The reason why held I Rainoric back was that I with my 2 Dust clouded eyes, saw you that your different. Your different from anyone I know. You maybe only a small woman but your mind's willpower is just unusually powerful." Wulfgar replied

"That's because I know better than any of you Gimaelics can ever know. I was taken from a planet that values virtue, truth, justice and discipline. Many people of my age would be doing fairly stupid things such as taking drugs, outrageous partying, having pre-marital and any vice imaginable. But I am not like most people, so are my friends. We grew up and we went through trial's and tribulations and made the right decisions. Our experiences with those decisions is what makes me and my friend's wiser than your Warlords." Sakura said

Wulfgar looked into Sakura's eyes and saw that her wordsn  were true and all the powers that be in the universe was her witness. He turned his back from Sakura and said to her.

"Perhaps we can all learn something from you..... Sakura. Expect me to call you that from now on. Let us have this kind of talk some other time. Now gets some rest."

Wulfgar dissappeared from the Sakura's sight and darkness began to enrapture the cold northern tundra land of Gimael. Sakura shivered as the midnight cold pierced her and quickly dashed for her bed.

When she arrived at the entrance hall she saw Osgar telling a story to Hayato.

"And I grabbed my spear and threw it at their leader. The spear killing him instantly. I saved that village from being ravaged by those Cultist raiders all by myself." Osgar told

"Wow! Ozzy-kun You are so brave and strong! I want to be just like you! I want to protect people especially my sister from bad men! Will you tell me another one please?" Hayato cherrfully said as tucked himself to bed.

"Perhaps another day kid. And maybe I can teach you how to be a warrior one day. Now sleep tight kid. You got another long day tommorow." Osgar said as he tapped Paruru's little brother's head and stood up. He then walked to Paruru and Takamina who were waiting outside the men's section of the quarter and said to them.

"Hayato is now sleeping soundly. Now fufill your end of the bargain."

Takamina and Paruru respectively walked up to Osgar and gave him a peck to the cheek on both of sides of his face. Osgar blushed as they both kissed. The earthlings then went to bed and left Osgar alone with Sakura.

"Me and Wulfgar were discussing about you earlier. I like you Sakura, your very brave and I appreciate bravery in the face of death." Osgar said as he went up his bunk bed. Sakura then went to her bunk bed that she shared with Takamina and rolled herself up in the bed. Thinking about what she had done earlier today.

 

*Francisca: A throwing axe that can also be used as melee axe

*Scriptorium: : Library

(Author's note sorry for long chapter: It took me awhile to write the 'Barbaric' scenes you requested. Hope you continue to support me  (:)) )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 6: Hmm. So things are certainly unfolding at a quick pace here. It's a little bit tricky keeping track of things because the forces were jumping around on Earth, showing up in one place when they were apparently expected in another, and the defenses against the intruders seem pretty ineffective. I know they're space faring warriors but couldn't we get a little more detail beyond 'necklaces' that protect them. How exactly do these things protect them?

I do like how you've been explaining more and giving more detail as the story progresses, so that's definitely something, but I have noticed a relative habit of how your voice suddenly jumps in to mention how this will be important later or explains something in the now and it's jarring. You could have one of the characters explain things mid-story, or even use the non-dialogue space to add world details that wouldn't pull the reader out of the moment when they're reading.

I was also a little confused by Rainoric's reaction to Sakura because he, and his people/friends, seem to be treating slaves with remarkable manners. But who knows. Maybe that's just the way they treat beings so far below them. *shrug* I also would prefer if you actually did more showing instead of telling with your battle scenes as opposed to saying "I'll let you use your imagination here." It comes off as lazy writing. I can imagine plenty, but I still want guidelines when you're showing me your world and what's happening in it. Do you know what I mean?

In this chapter, I was also curious when Sakura hit her head? I didn't catch that so I was surprised when she was suddenly waking up from a week long coma. :S But things are slowly starting to come together and while I'm not sure what the larger, central conflict of the world is going to be just yet, you seem to have tension aplenty between the people as a warrior race, if nothing else.
Amalya
#2
Chapter 3: Okay. So I'm just starting to read this and while I probably won't comment on every chapter, I do intend to pause every so often. I think the image in the character bio page is broken since I can't see the picture at all. I'm personally not a huge fan of character bios in the beginning of the story myself but in this case, I do think it's helpful information since most of the characters are almost completely new (goodness knows I've never heard of most of them haha).

For this chapter, I have at least begun to get an idea of what's going on in the story, though I find myself wishing for more description. What do these people look like? What sorts of mannerisms do they have, other than surprising knockouts when someone is apparently talking too long? Are they all humanoid? Do any of them talk with accents? These kinds of things. I did appreciate the explanations at the bottom of the chapter, though I also think you might have been able to work them into the story. While I also appreciate you have linked the information available for us to read up on the Endless game series, it's also something I tend to think you may want to work on incorporating more yourself. Then again, I don't know if you were expecting people to be familiar with the Endless game series if they found your story, so that could just be me at the moment.

I would say be careful with some of your spellings since I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but overall, things are easy enough to understand. I'm curious to see how the rest of the world/story unfolds with that tag you've added at the end of this update in regards to world changing consequences. heh We shall see.
UltimateLockSmith
#3
Chapter 37: Wow... Annya became a sacrifice... Rena's well... both her and Jurina in one go.... ....
fenrirabyss
#4
Chapter 36: OMG awesome update 10/10 OMG Jurina what are you doing!?!?!?!
fenrirabyss
#5
Chapter 34: Why?....I dont know what to do now......T^T
RukaKikuchi
#6
Chapter 34: *speechless* *tears flowing* Why...? T^T
RukaKikuchi
#7
Chapter 33: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! TT_____TT
RukaKikuchi
#8
Chapter 32: WOAH! This is a new kind of body swap... uh, if you can count it that. XD
Update soon! *bows*
RukaKikuchi
#9
Chapter 24: O_________O Holy freaking crap......
UltimateLockSmith
#10
Chapter 8: Hey, for your question an adding another character from AKB, I want SKEs Takayanagi Akane... In some action fanfics I've read with Churi, she fights hard... One Fic I've read, Churi had a fudging jet XD