CHAPTER 9 - PRETTY

Jongin is exhausted, he has a splitting headache and he really needs a drink but he bundles himself into a taxi and just about manages to string a sentence together to tell the taxi driver to take him to the Black Pearl nightclub.

He sits back in his seat and pinches the bridge of his nose then rubs his eyes, desperately trying to wake himself up. Jongdae had sounded pretty pissed on the phone, and Jongin can’t blame him. If everything had gone to plan, none of this would have happened because he would have been back in time to explain everything and—Jongin stops himself. The last thing he wants to do now is get frustrated. He pulls his phone out and texts Jihae.

From:  Jongin

Are you sure you don’t mind staying?

She replies in a flash.

From: Jihae

There’s more trouble in this for you than there is for me, Jong. I’ll be fine for tonight; I’ll probably come back on the next plane home tomorrow. Stop worrying about me, and worry more about what you’re going to do to sort this out. Good luck <3 xx

Jongin frowns and locks his phone. He has no idea what he’s going to walk into, other than an extremely angry Kim Jongdae, and if he’s honest, Jongin has no game plan. Jongdae had mentioned another guy when he’d called and Jongin has no idea who he is, but he gets the impression that he’s got something to do with Kyungsoo and he’s obviously done worse to him than Jongin has over the past couple of days. The thought makes him angry, his shoulders squaring and muscles tensing. Kyungsoo is his and the thought of anyone else having him is... in Jongin’s mind, disgusting.

As ever, that annoying little voice in the back of Jongin’s mind leaps forward just when it is least needed. But Kyungsoo might not be yours anymore Jongin. He might never want to look at your face ever again.

Jongin shakes his head at the voice as he throws the cab driver some money and steps out of the taxi onto the pavement. He can hear the booming of the bass from inside the club and he steels himself before making his way inside.

There are people everywhere, bodies writhing and drinks spilling, and Jongin hasn’t even made it to the dance floor yet. He elbows his way through the crowds, not caring to stop and apologise as he catches sight of Jongdae leaning against the bar, a frown on his face.

“Jongdae,” Jongin says, stumbling up to him. “I-I...”

“Save it.” Jongdae says coolly, giving Jongin a critical onceover. “Kyungsoo should hear it first. He’s over there.” He points to where Kyungsoo is still engaged in a pretty steamy lip lock with Jiyong.

Jongin clenches his jaw so hard he nearly pinches the inside of his cheek. His heart is hammering against his chest and there is practically steam coming out of his ears. No one should kiss Kyungsoo like that except him.

“Just get him out of here, and get him somewhere safe. He’s drunk as hell and has no idea what he’s doing. When he sobers up, you’d best get on your sorry knees and start begging for forgiveness.” Jongdae finishes haughtily, before turning and disappearing into the darkness.

Jongin barely acknowledges him as he leaves, his eyes still fixated on Jiyong and Kyungsoo in the crowd. He makes his way over to them stealthily, moving through the throngs of people at an oddly controlled pace. Just as he is within hearing distance, Jiyong pulls back and speaks.

“So cutie... fancy leaving this old dump with me tonight?”

Kyungsoo blushes again and giggles whilst nodding. Jiyong smirks.

Jongin feels something akin to a tight fist clench at his chest, and his teeth grind in anger.

Jiyong moves as if to lead Kyungsoo away, and Jongin’s heart leaps. He steps forward without a moment’s hesitation “Don’t even think about it.” He grabs hold of Kyungsoo’s wrist and feels the pulse thudding beneath his fingertips.

Jiyong lifts his head challengingly. “And who’re you?” he says, looking up at Jongin.

 “Who I am is irrelevant.” Jongin says, confidence boosted by the fact he has a few inches in height on Jiyong. “You’re not going anywhere with Kyungsoo.” Jongin is surprised by how calm he sounds. He certainly doesn’t feel it.

“Oh, and why is that? Because Kyungsoo here seems to be enjoying himself...” Jiyong taunts.

Kyungsoo has turned now to look at Jongin blearily. “You look f-famil-yaaa.” He slurs, squinting his eyes at Jongin.

“You don’t wanna talk to him Kyungie; he’s just here to spoil our night.”

“Kyungsoo, please. Jongdae called me; you really need to come home.” Jongin says

At the mention of Jongdae’s name, Kyungsoo perks up. “Jongdae? As in my friend Kim Jongdae? ChenChen?” 

“Yes.” Jongin breathes in relief. “Yes, Jongdae told me to take you home.”

“Hm.” Kyungsoo thinks to himself. “Well, if Jongdae says so, I think I’d better... Good bye Jiyooooong!” He pipes happily, hugging the taller.

Jongin is torn between cooing over drunken Kyungsoo’s babyish behaviour or punching stupid Jiyong in his stupid handsome face for kissing Kyungsoo.

“It’s been wonderful but Jongdae told me to go home now. He looks after me well. So I’m going. Bye bye!” Kyungsoo adds sincerely, nodding his head like a small child.

Jongin is briefly astounded at how easy it is to get Kyungsoo away. Jiyong looks motionless with shock, so Jongin takes the opportunity to grab Kyungsoo’s waist and pull him away before he changes his mind.

***

Come on, Come on. Jongin thinks, looking around the taxi rank agitatedly. They’re still a couple of places back in the queue, and Jongin knows that Jiyong and his cronies are most likely to be out looking for he and Kyungsoo. Jiyong didn’t seem like the type to let things go easily.

Plus Kyungsoo was still a slurring drunk and Jongin would feel a whole lot more comfortable if he could just get Kyungsoo inside and safe.

“Thank you.” A quiet voice beside him whispers. Jongin nearly breaks his neck at the speed in which he looks down a Kyungsoo.

“Why?” he asks. He should be apologising to Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo has no reason to be thanking him.

“For getting me away from Jiyong. I didn’t like him. We... We knew each other. Before. I worked for his dad. He wasn’t very nice to me.” Kyungsoo says sadly, sitting down cross legged on the floor. Jongin sits beside him for reasons he’ll think of later.

“It’s OK. He didn’t look the nice type.” Jongin says. He guesses Kyungsoo can’t recognise him, and he isn’t sure whether to feel sad or grateful.

“Plus, I have a boyfriend. Well I did. Maybe. He never called himself my boyfriend. But I think he was.” Kyungsoo says glumly.

Jongin’s throat closes up, and Kyungsoo continues.

“He’s called Jongin. I worked for his dad too. Maybe I should stop falling for clients sons...” Kyungsoo chuckles and Jongin smiles bitterly.

“I like his dad though. He’s a nice man. I like him much more than Jiyong’s dad. He was a douche.”

“Yeah?” Jongin says. This whole conversation is headed somewhere Jongin really wishes it wouldn’t, but he has no choice in where it goes.

“I like Jongin too. He’s nice. Jiyong isn’t. I miss him. Jongin I mean... But he’s engaged now. To a girl. Not me. I love Jongin, did you know that? I fell in love with him.” Kyungsoo hiccups, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder.

Jongin’s heart beats frantically in his chest.

“His stupid eye smiles. His eyes go all crinkly when he’s happy. And he yawns in a really cute way when he’s tired. I love Jongin, but I don’t think he loves me. He’ll probably end up marrying that girl and they’ll have beautiful children and his life will all be happy and shiny and I... I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him. Even though he broke my heart right in two, it’ll still love him. He broke my heart, but I love him.”

Jongin feels like he’s been kicked and stabbed in the gut at the same time. His chest physically hurts just by seeing what an absolute idiot he’s been. He wants to grab Kyungsoo now, kiss him, cuddle him and explain his heart away and pray and pray that Kyungsoo will forgive him. He knows he might do in this current situation.

The chances of sober Kyungsoo (who knows what he’s saying) forgiving Jongin are significantly less.

Kyungsoo is still muttering to himself when a cab finally pulls up for them. Kyungsoo is nearly falling asleep, so Jongin lifts him up and carries him into the car with an arm under his shoulders and one under the bend of his knees.

The cab pulls away in silence, and Jongin rests his head on the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes. Seoul flashes by in shots of colour behind in eyelids, and Kyungsoo lies slumped across his lap.

A cold hand comes into contact with Jongin’s jaw line. Jongin opens his eyes and raises his head, drowsily looking down to find Kyungsoo gazing at him intently.

“You remind me of him. Of Jongin. You have a nice jaw. He has too, and you have really nice skin, it’s dark and tanned and nice. It’s beautiful. Makes you look healthy.”

Jongin subconsciously leans into Kyungsoo’s palm as he cups his cheek.

“Pretty.” Kyungsoo says finally, before falling asleep, his hand dropping to his side.

***

Kyungsoo is still sound asleep by the time the taxi pulls up outside Jongin’s apartment block.

Jongin lifts him out of the cab gently, cradling him in his arms and making sure he doesn’t bump his head on the door frame on the way out.

Quiet consumes the air as Jongin trudges his way into his apartment. One would think that having such a large penthouse suite to yourself would be fun and luxurious but Jongin is beginning to realise how cold, empty and lonely it feels.

He has no idea whether he should change Kyungsoo out of his clothes or just leave him as he is like his mother used to do when Jongin was younger and he fell asleep in his clothes.

Jongin doesn’t think he can face undressing Kyungsoo, and he certainly doesn’t want to disturb his sleep, so he makes sure that Kyungsoo’s belt is taken off (so it doesn’t jab him in the night) and that his shirt button is undone at the top (so he doesn’t get  too hot) when he places him gently in his bed.

Jongin pulls the covers up around Kyungsoo’s sleeping form and tucks him in softly, sneaking a gentle kiss to his forehead. He places a glass of water beside the bed in case Kyungsoo wakes up thirsty in the night, then pulls up an armchair at the side of the bed.

Kyungsoo might think it was creepy that Jongin was going to spend the night watching over him, but Jongin can’t bring himself to care. He is well aware that this may be the last few hours he ever gets to spend with Kyungsoo, even if they are asleep. Being in the same bed as him may be a step too far, though.

Once Jongin has locked the door, he kicks his shoes off and loosens his tie slightly. He’s been dressed in his work suit for well over 24 hours now, and he’s in desperate need of a shower, but Jongin is painfully tired.

He grabs a small cushion and a blanket off his sofa as he passes and settles into the armchair, flicking the lights off on the remote control situated on the bedside table.

The sound of Kyungsoo’s gentle breathing fills the room and Jongin sighs. “Good night, Soo.”

***

Kyungsoo has a pounding head, a dry throat and queasiness in his stomach when he wakes the next morning.

The first thing that hits him is that his bed smells so nice. He buries his face in a pillow and inhales deeply. Vanilla, honey, something lemony... It’s a delicious mix. Kyungsoo is alarmed when he realises that none of his shampoos or colognes smell like this.

This is not Kyungsoo’s house. So where is he?

He sits up groggily, clenching his jaw and swallowing thickly to rid himself of some of the nausea. There is a glass of water by the bed and Kyungsoo gulps it down gratefully.

He freezes when he hears the sound of a shower running. He isn’t alone. Uh oh.

He checks his body over quickly and can’t see any obvious bruises or hickeys, and his back doesn’t feel sore so he takes that as a good sign.

The more Kyungsoo looks around, the more familiar the room becomes. Usually, this would be a wonderfully encouraging sign that he didn’t leave the club with a stranger, but today he fears he is in the place he least wants to be.

This is Jongin’s apartment. The pictures on the walls, the scent of pillows, everything here is Jongin.

Kyungsoo has too much of a thumping head to try and leave now, he’d probably pass out or throw up before he could reach the front door.

Whilst Kyungsoo is mildly panicking, the sound of a shower switching off is ignored, and Kyungsoo is still in a daze until a very wet, very bare Kim Jongin appears round the corner with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his hips.

“Oh! Kyungsoo, you’re... awake. I-I’ll make a coffee or something.” Jongin stumbles, flushing red. He disappears as fast as he came, and Kyungsoo blinks.

There is an odd feeling in his stomach, and not one he can attribute to a hangover. It’s a mixture of relief, pain and longing, all jumbled into one.

Relief at seeing Jongin again after he’s been away.

Pain at remembering what has happened.

And longing for Jongin. Even after everything.

Needless to say it leaves him a little confused.

***

They sit in silence drinking their coffee.

Kyungsoo is still in bed, and Jongin is on his armchair which he’s pulled away from the edge of the bed a little so as to give Kyungsoo some space.

Jongin had brought painkillers earlier, so Kyungsoo was feeling a lot better. The downside of this was that he was also remembering everything that had happened: Milan, Jihae, the lot.

Jongin is the first to speak. “I’m sorry.” He says plainly, eyes tracing the rim of his coffee cup.

Kyungsoo frowns at the bed sheets, anger mixed with humiliation and hurt setting in. “Why are you sorry? It’s not like you care...”

Jongin’s head snaps up at the words. “Soo, please—“

“I don’t want to hear it Jongin. Clearly you’ve got everything sorted out and I hope you enjoy your marriage.” He hisses the last word out with venom and Jongin cringes. “I’m not going to sit here and pretend anymore. I’m not cut out for all this nonsense. I can’t sit in the same room as you and pretend I’m not angry, because I am.” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I just... I don’t understand.” He adds finally, and the crack of vulnerability in his voice makes Jongin hate himself more and more by the second.

“Does that mean you-you’re going to leave?”

“Yeah, probably. Well, it’s not like there’s any need for us to see each other again, is there? You’ve got a girl, your dad’s found a match and I’ve got to be on my merry way with life. I’ll be out once I’ve finished my coffee.” Kyungsoo replies stonily. Kyungsoo has no idea why the anger has suddenly kicked in, ridding him of any cool headedness. Kyungsoo is running purely on emotional overdrive, and that is never a good thing.

It doesn’t occur to him that Jongin flew back straight away for him. That Jongin took him home last night. That Jongin tucked him up in bed and made sure he had water and painkillers.

Kyungsoo is far too hurt to realise that.

It goes quiet for a moment, before Jongin speaks up again. “P-please. Just, hear me out. If you want to leave after I’ve explained everything, then I can’t stop you. But please. Don’t leave just yet.”

Kyungsoo hesitates, and then sits back against Jongin’s headboard, indicating that he should go on.

Jongin’s eyes are slightly wet already, but he isn’t crying. He steels his nerves then speaks. “I’m not engaged. I know you’re probably thinking I’m talking rubbish again, but honestly I’m not.”

“I’ve known Jihae since we were little kids. Her dad and my dad were business partners. She... She’s like a sister to me, we practically grew up together. When our fathers were out round the world doing business deals, we’d always play together. Our mums were really good friends too.”

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows. He has no idea where this is going but he stays quiet and lets Jongin continue.

“My dad... He doesn’t know I’m gay. You know that of course, but... yeah. So when I arrived in Milan he pulled me aside. He told me that if we wanted good investors to stay and for new ones to invest in the company, we had to make me look as, well, stable, as possible. No one wants to invest in a company who’s CEO is out partying every night and being photographed with a different woman each week. Which is understandable, I guess. So as I was going to be taking over, we needed to reassure investors that I was up to the job of being a mature grown up, seeing as all those pictures of me in the past clubbing with Sehun probably won’t do me any favours.”

“He said the only way we could do it would to stage an engagement. Make out that we’d been in a steady relationship for a while and it had only come to surface now. He said it would be simple, I wouldn’t have to actually date the girl we’d just have to pose for some pictures, then in a few months when I’d solidified my position as CEO and made trustworthy deals we could stage a break up and I’d be free to do what the hell I liked.”

“I would have said no. But at the time, I was just so... shocked I guess. Believe it or not, I was missing you already and I wanted more than anything to be back home in Seoul. I don’t think I’m capable of running the whole company, but I don’t have a choice. But hey, that’s another story.” Jongin sniffs miserably, a single tear falling down his face.

“Then dad pulled out Jihae. He said it was her I had to pretend to be with. Jihae was sobbing her eyes out at the time, and I had no idea why. Dad said it would be ok, not to treat it as too much and it’d all be over in a few weeks time. I-I don’t even know what I was thinking, but I just said yes. I said I’d do it and I didn’t think about how... how it would look to everyone else. I forgot that pictures would be in the papers, and that everyone, including you, would be able to see them. And you wouldn’t have an explanation.”

Tears are beginning to tumble down Jongin’s face now, and he looks terrified. Kyungsoo’s heart is thudding in his chest, almost as if it’s trying to break its way out of his ribcage.

Jongin is undeterred by the silence and carries on. “That night, it was just me and Jihae. We got sent out for dinner together, I guess to figure out how we were going to look like a couple. That’s when it hit me that the pictures would be published and everyone would know. Jihae panicked too because... hell she swore me to secrecy but I’m going to tell you anyway: she has a lover too. He’s a bellboy in a hotel here in Seoul. Obviously, she is heir to her father’s company as well, and he has high hopes for his only daughter to marry someone of influence. Her boyfriend has probably the lowest paid job in the hotel, and he comes from an everyday family. In true Disney fashion, they fell in love and they’ve been dating in secret for even longer than we have... had... I don’t know. Obviously, her father won’t approve of anyone less than perfect, so there’s no way they’re going to be together.”

“But we managed to subtly pull some strings, and they said they could set it up almost like a staged photo shoot, and that the pictures wouldn’t leak until at least a few weeks after we came home, so hopefully we would have had a chance to explain everything and clear things up with you. So we weren’t worried.”

Jongin is shaking now, the fear evident in his voice. “So we did it and didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t going to be a problem. It was a risk of course, because you might not have accepted it or something, but then we would have had time to stall the photo publication. Then Jihae and I were out for coffee one afternoon and then I realised I had missed calls and a voicemail from Sehun. When we heard it... We knew something had gone wrong, because it was clear it was referencing the pictures. We still don’t know how they got out, but both of us were horrified because we hadn’t had time to explain everything.”

“But Jihae, Jihae was a star. She shot up out of her chair and sprinted off somewhere, and then she came back a few minutes later and slapped a boarding pass for the next flight to Seoul down on the table. She told me that I should fly back straight away, because there was more at stake for me, in the sense of the whole... gay issue. I didn’t want to of course because her relationship was as much in jeopardy as mine, but she said she thinks her bellboy will know something isn’t right and hold fire until she can get back. Plus, there’s no sign of her father stepping down from his job yet, so she isn’t under as much scrutiny. We had a really important business meeting last night, but Jihae promised she’d go and stand in for me; she even joked and said she’d wear a short dress to distract the creepy old businessmen from my absence. I think she’s flying back sometime today to... sort things out.”

Kyungsoo feels something unfurl in his chest, like a heavy knot had been there without him realising. The thought crosses his mind that Jongin could be making this all up, but then the logical side of his brain kicks in. The story is so movie-esque and crazy that it somehow seems... too weird not to be true.

Jongin is still crying slightly. “So that’s it. There’s nothing going on, honestly. I wish... I should have told you. No, scratch that, I never should have said I’d do it in the first place I- I’ll do anything Soo. Please. I’m not ashamed of you, or my uality, it’s just... before I don’t know what I was doing. I think... this past day or so I just realised how much I really can’t live without you. I- I don’t know what I’d do. I want to be able to walk down the street and hold your hand; I want to tell my dad, I want to tell everyone. I want you to be by my side when I have to do all of these crazy CEO tasks and I want to announce to those stupid old investors that I love you and if they’ve got a problem they can—you probably want to break up with me and never see me ever again though now so I’m probably just making myself look like an absolute idiot but hell maybe I am an idiot who knows I don’t care what people think anymore I just want you to be with me Kyungsoo and now I’m babbling so I’ll stop I don’t think I’m helping.”

Jongin gently smudges under his eyes with his shirt sleeve and sniffs a couple of times to stop the tears.

Kyungsoo feels—well Kyungsoo feels rather stupid, actually. He knows he should have known there would be more to this than met the eye. He knows he should have trusted Jongin, that there was no way he would do something like that. The whole misunderstanding is so stupid that Kyungsoo could almost laugh if he wasn’t so stunned and relieved.

Kyungsoo feels like screaming and crying and fangirling all at once.

“You’re not saying anything.” Jongin says, wisely, still curled in the corner wiping his nose like a scolded child.

“Come here.” Kyungsoo says, tapping the covers of the bed in front of him. Jongin looks at him timidly, before standing up and shuffling closer. “On here.” Kyungsoo says, and Jongin gingerly climbs up, before settling cross legged on the sheets before Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo traces the lines of Jongin’s face with his eyes, across his cheeks bones and down the tear tracks down his face. He reaches up and rubs them away as gently as he can, eliciting a soft whimper from Jongin. In one swift movement, Kyungsoo reaches up and hugs Jongin as tightly as possible, chuckling as Jongin gasps and holds him tighter.

“Kim Jongin you are a silly, silly boy.” He says lovingly, nuzzling his nose into Jongin’s hair behind his right ear. “You could have just told me—called me. I understand you’re going to have to do crazy stuff for the business, I...”

Jongin is sobbing again, Kyungsoo figures it is from relief more than anything. “I’m sorry Soo, I’m so so sorry.” He whimpers repeatedly, his tears dropping onto Kyungsoo’s shoulders as he buries his head closer.

“Ssh, ssh now, it’s ok, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, I’m here.” Kyungsoo mutters reassuringly in his ear, rocking them gently back and forth like he was comforting a crying baby.

“You’re not breaking up with me?” Jongin asks, pulling back, eyes wide and shining with hope.

Kyungsoo chuckles again. “No I’m not. It was partly my fault as well... There were a lot of misunderstandings Jongin and... I don’t think I could break up with you if I tried!” Kyungsoo laughs properly then, and Jongin joins in.

Things always work out in the end.

***

Kyungsoo and Jongin spend the day lounging around in Jongin’s apartment. They park themselves on the sofa and have a Netflix marathon, only leaving to get food or have a toilet break.

Both of them seem content lying tangled together on the sofa; the separation and all the drama has made them particularly cuddly and in need of each other’s presence.

Jihae checked in sometime around midday; she was on a flight back home and expressed her hope that Jongin had succeeded in explaining the situation well. She seemed comforted by the fact he had, and Kyungsoo mentally willed her on, having found no reason to dislike her having learnt everything she did to get Jongin back home.

Jongin and Kyungsoo are halfway through a and the City episode, when Jongin speaks suddenly. “Stay.”

Kyungsoo looks up from where he is nestled against Jongin’s chest and his head. “I’m not going anywhere, Jongin...” He says softly, and Jongin tightens his arms around him.

“No, as in properly stay. This apartment is way too big for just me. Move in with me, Soo. I-I don’t think I can handle watching you leave anymore. I want you to be the one I come home to at night and I want to be able to say goodnight to you whilst you’re in my arms in our bed rather than on a cold doorstep.”

Kyungsoo smiles. “You’re so cheesy, do you know that?”

Jongin giggles, face flushing. “I can’t help it... I know it’s fast but—“

“Yes, Jongin.” Kyungsoo says, burying his face in Jongin’s neck. “Yes I’ll move in with you. I don’t think I want to say goodbye anymore either.”

The smile that graces Jongin’s face is possibly one of the most beautiful things Kyungsoo has ever seen, and he can’t help himself when he leans up to capture Jongin’s lips in his, warmth fluttering across his stomach.

When they at last pull apart, Kyungsoo has to rewind much of the episode that they missed due to kissing.

They settle in to watch again until Jongin makes a tiny sound of remembrance. “Oh! I’d wear something smart on Friday...” he begins.

Kyungsoo looks at him, puzzled.

“The conference announcing my official takeover as CEO is in 3 days... I want to... tell everyone about us.” Jongin says determinedly.

“Are you sure?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yep... Oh yeah. And we have to tell my dad.”

Oh, crap. 

A/N: Just so you kow, there will be one more chapter + possibly a short epilogue. 

i guess i could have ended the story here, but there are still a few scenes I'd love to write, so I'm going to hehe 

thank you for all your lovely support ( ihope this chap makes up for the angsty nature of the previous one!) 

unedited,(what else is new?) 

i'll see you all next time,

much love to you all, <333

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