Hanging up was a bad idea… right after she talked with her friend… her hand dropped to her side… she was just standing there… stilled in the middle of her room… as silence enveloped the four corners of her room…

She had been living alone in her apartment for already four years… but it was her first time feeling so alone… together with the feeling of emptiness that kept on bugging her these past days… 

As if she doesn’t want to move… nor shift her gaze to somewhere for she knows when she does… she would just be reminded of ‘them’… 

For one week she was healing far away from everyone… but she must’ve forgotten that it was all useless for right when she comes home… memories between them were all plastered around her room…

Would it be too much to still hold on to those memories…? 

Would it be too much to hope that they will be together again…?

Probably it is… 

For one whole week of not seeing him and contemplating about what she has done to their relationship… she doesn’t have the rights to ask of those questions… she had done enough to make him suffer with her… had done enough to make him suffocate… she had done enough to deprive him of his happiness… she had been selfish enough… she thought…

She grabbed the frame from her desk as her knees unbuckled and she slumped down the floor… holding the frame with much care as she watched it with her two teary eyes… 

She looked down… tears flowing out from her eyes… wetting the glass of the frame… with her trembling hand she reached to wipe it off… caressing his face as if he was really there…

“I’m so… sorry… just this time… it’s just too painful to let go Jiyong-ah…”

She said between her sobs… with no one to hear her except for the four cornered room that is filled with nothing but sadness… 

She stayed like that for a while… broken and alone… staring at their picture hoping to somehow mend her aching heart… but the fact that the man inside the picture was the cause of her broken heart… all she just did was to torture herself more…

“Can you feel the same pain that I’m feeling right now…?”

‘Probably not…’

She answered her own self in her thoughts… but wishing… if there could be any chance that he too feels the same… at least just to cover up for last strand of pride that is left in her… 

“I promise this would be the last… just let watch your face a bit and think that you still love me too… would it be too much to ask…?”

A bitter smile crept on her dried lips… as she received nothing but silence as she kept her eyes on his picture… she’s probably even losing her mind now…

She hugged the small frame so tight as if it will break in her arms… she continued to weep… enveloped in the darkness of her room… not minding her empty stomach… not minding the constant ringing of her phone as her friend called her again… 

“It hurts so bad… can’t you feel it too…? Jiyong-ah…?”

She whispered as she closed her eyes… hoping for the pain to be eased…

--

His eyes suddenly snapped open… thought he just heard someone calling him… but only to be welcomed by the silence inside the room and something warm pressing on his back… 

He glanced over his shoulder and saw the of his ‘new girl’… sleeping soundly after a round of their hot escapade… he sighed and slowly sat up... he brushed his hair with his hand as the same unexplainable feeling hit him again… he’s hating the uneasiness he’s feeling but can’t even brush it off away from his system…

He stood up only wearing his boxers as he went over to his clothes that were scattered around… 

He got his pants and slipped into his pocket to find his phone… 

It’s already nine in the evening… time to go home… he was about to slip his phone back to his pocket but got stop when his eyes set on his phone’s wallpaper… 

How could he not notice it this whole time…? 

Remembered the hard time he went through just to get that shot from ‘her’…’her’ sleeping face… still an angel when she sleeps…

Just when everything’s going the way he wanted… 

He caressed her face… she has been sleeping for hours now… first morning that they shared together… was like a dream come true for him…being with the woman he loves the most… surely he would want to have each morning to be like this…

He got his phone… surely he wouldn’t miss this chance… capturing her beauty just right before she wakes up… as if day by day she never fails to make him more in-love with her…

She heard the clicking sounds of his phone… made her flutter her eyes slowly open… got welcomed by his cheeky smile as if he just got what he wanted…

She looked at him wonderingly not until she noticed him placing his phone back to the bedside table by his other hand… her eyes widen… what was he planning again..? She thought… he really loves capturing stolen shots from her… worse was all of those were the unflattering ones… 

She sat up and was about to reach his phone over him but he grabbed her waist and pulled her down again on the bed…towering over her and trapping her small body between his arms…

“Jiyong-ah… you always make fun of me…”

She pouted at him… he chuckled and hands reached for both sides of her face as he caressed it… her pout disappeared when she noticed how loving he was looking down at her straight in the eyes… she blushed and tried to look away but he held her face in place…

“Saranghae…”

She stilled and cheeks blushed some more… but after a while… she managed to smile at him…such a moment that made his heart do somersaults… and with that, without another word… he leaned down and sealed her lips with his… 

He looked away… not noticing the slowly forming tears in the rim of his eyes… what’s with the sudden memory..? He thought…His hand was trembling holding on to his phone… not until a familiar voice called on to him…

“Ji… are you going already…?”

He quickly slipped in his phone back to his pants’ pocket and dressed up…

“Ah… yes… I’ll call you…”

Without glancing back, he headed for the door and got out… his hand reached for his chest as he heaved out a sigh… 

“What the hell is wrong with me…?”

He whispered to himself… leaning back on the wall of the hotel’s hallway… 

“I want this…”

He kept on mumbling… closing his eyes as he threw his head back… he could feel his heart pounding inside his chest so fast and hard… and it’s all because of his ex’s face that kept on flashing inside his mind… her crying face that was far from the angelic and calm face in his other memory… and it was all because of him…

‘Why am I feeling this way…?’ 

He thought… before dropping his hand from his chest… forming it into a fist and continued with his way…she’s just a woman… a past that he should forget… move on and enjoy what he has right now… she’s just a woman… same as everyone… 

But probably not so same… probably not just some woman… for once he had loved her… once she became his happiness and once she became his life… once… for right now… he’s sure to himself that she would remain a part of his past… feeding himself that he doesn’t deserve such pain…for ‘as far as he knows’ he was just doing what his heart tells him to do just like everyone says…