Everything happened so fast and I don’t even have the time to think when and how it happened. We were playing, laughing, enjoying the beautiful weather in the beach when a huge wave suddenly headed to our direction and pulled us into the water. I tried to open my eyes but it was stung by the salt water and it keeps going into my nose. I couldn’t breathe and my hands were trying to find something, trying to hold onto something to support myself. And at that moment, I touched something hard, something big. I quickly grabbed onto it to help myself from drowning. I’m not sure what I was holding but it helped me to float in the water. I coughed as I tried to inhale a hard and deep intake of breath, pushing the air into my lungs. 

“Oppa… Oppa… Oppa… help me… oppa…”

I opened my eyes and looked at the direction where the familiar voice was screaming. It was Soo Bin, my little sister. Her eyes were wide opened with fear, looking at me, asking for help. She was drowning and I can only see half of her face in the water. My heart was throbbing so fast that I thought I’m dying soon. I extend my hand trying to reach her. I gasped a relief sigh when my hand finally got hold of hers. But before I could even pull her closer to me, another wave slammed onto us, pulling us away from each other.

“Oppa… Op…”

I coughed and tried to search for my sister again. I still heard her voice, her scream but… it was getting softer, weaker.

“Soo Bin! Soo Bin!”

Before I could even do anything else, I felt a pair of strong arms grab hold of my weak body, supporting me from downing into the sea.

“Don’t worry. You are safe now.” The man said as he held onto me tightly, trying to save me.

“M-My… my… my sister… save… my sister… Soo… Bin…” I said as I tried hard to stay conscious.

“Oppa… Oppa… don’t go… don’t leave Soo Bin alone…”

I quickly looked around when I heard my sister’s voice. She is still around. I heard her voice.

“Ahjussi… save… save Soo Bin…” I begged the man.

“Oppa… Oppa…” Soo Bin keeps wailing for me to help her but I just couldn’t see her. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t see her, couldn’t reach her.

“Soo Bin… Soo Bin…”

~~~~~

Lee Min Ho opened his eyes and sat bolt upright, gasping heavily for air. His body shivered violently as his shirt was now soaked with sweat. His hands were clenching tightly into fists, so tight that his knuckles turned white. He keeps breathing in and out, trying to shake off the fear of the nightmare. He has been plagued by the recurrent nightmare of his sister’s death for years. Everyday, he will awakened in the middle of the night by the same nightmare with the same scene that happened 16 years ago, leaving him sweating, shaking, lying alone and in fear.

He slowly turned to the clock at the bedside table and it was 3.30am now. He let out a deep sigh before burying his face into his palms. How he wished he could scream now and let out all the unsettled emotions inside of him. It felt suffocated when everything stuck in his throat, unable to let it out. He threw himself back in the bed with a blank gaze in his eyes. He lay awake for nearly an hour, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

This is how he spent his life everyday. Lifelessly and meaninglessly. He lives because he needs to. He works because he needs to. He eats because he needs to. He sleeps because he needs to. But there is one thing that no matter how important it is, he still refused to do it. In fact, he doesn’t know how and can’t do it anymore. Since his sister passed away 16 years ago, he never speaks anymore. He felt pointless to say anything. Sometimes it’s better to keep silent than to tell others what you feel because it will only hurt you when you know they can hear you but they can’t understand.

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Professor Kim looked up from his laptop when he heard someone knocked on his door and when the door opened, a soft smile curled on his lips.

“You are here finally. I’ve been waiting for you the whole morning.”

Park Shin Hye let out a wide smile as she walked into the room and stopped in front of his table. She bowed politely before looking at the older man. “Annyeonghaseyo, Professor Kim. I’m glad to see you in good health.”

Professor Kim smiled widely as he nodded. “Welcome aboard. Take a seat.”

Shin Hye pulled the chair in front of her and sit on it. She smiled at her professor again. “It has been almost four years since the last time you came to our university in UK to give a speech.”

“Wow, it has been so long already? Time flies and I’m a very old man now.” He laughed. “I’m really glad that you are doing fine. You have been one of my best students in the class. I’m so happy to see you here today. I’m proud of you.” He praised her. “How is your mother? I hope she is doing fine too.”

“She is good. After being threatened by me, she finally agreed to come back to Seoul with me.” She joked, laughing softly. Professor Kim was one of her father’s senior in his university very long time ago. After her father passed away when she was still a kid, he helped them a lot and has been a very close friend to them.

Professor Kim laughed too. “I’m sure there is another person who will be extremely happy for your come back.” He said, looking at her with a meaningful gaze.

“You mean Yeon Seok oppa?” Shin Hye asked, raising her brows.

“Yes, him. He must be very happy that two of you can officially work together now. He has more chance to stay by your side.” He teased.

“We are just friends.” Shin Hye said defensively. Although she have known Yoo Yeon Seok for a long time but she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for him. For her, he is a friend, a senior or a brother.

“But I don’t think Yeon Seok and your mother feel the same way.” He said with a smirk. 

Shin Hye sighed silently. Her professor was right. How can she not know that Yeon Seok have feelings for her and her mother always hope that Yeon Seok can become her son in-law.

“They… will understand one day.” Shin Hye said with a slight smile.

Profressor Kim laughed. “I’m an old man and will never understand this kind of complicated relationship among you youngster. But I believe both of you can handle it in a mature way.” He paused and stared at Shin Hye who was wearing a doctor gown and let out another smile.

“I’m happy that you choose to work in Seoul National University hospital. We really need some good doctor in the Department of Psychiatry. Not many people like to be in this profession.” Shin Hye has always been one of his top students and he has a high expectation on her.

Shin Hye looked at him and pursed her lips. “Human brain is the most complex structure in our body. It controls memory, senses and emotion. Of course it also controls other parts of our body. But when something is wrong with our emotion, we can’t get rid of it like how we remove a brain tumor. Mental illness is not something that we could heal it with medicine or surgery. It needs time, patience and very strong willpower. I’m happy to be a psychiatrist. Although I’m still a rookie but I really hope I could learn more and help a lot of people.”

Professor Kim held her gaze for a long moment before he smiled and nodded his head. This is what he wants to hear from her. He is now very sure that his decision for handing over the case to her is a correct choice. He turned to the tray at the side and took a file out. He stared at the name printed on the file for a moment before he looked up at Shin Hye again.

“Since I’m retiring next month, I’ll pass some of my cases for you to follow-up. But there is one case that…” Profressor Kim paused as he put the file in front of his beloved student. He let out a long sigh before looking at her again. “… this one is… quite difficult and I hope you could take a closer look at it. It’s quite different from other cases I have handled before and I really hope we could help him. The patient has been seeing me for the last 16 years. I really feel bad for not be able to help him after all this while.”

Shin Hye’s eyes were slightly widened as she looked at the name on the file. “Lee Min Ho.” She read his name softly. She glanced down at the file again before looking back at her professor with a surprise gaze. “16 years? That was… a very long time. What kind of mental illness this patient is suffering that even after 16 years it still couldn’t help him?” 

“SM.” Professor Kim replied, looking at her with a serious gaze. “He suffer from SM due to an accident since he was 12 years old.” He can still clearly remembered the first time he saw him. He was only 12 years old but he is absolutely the most stubborn child that he had ever seen.

Shin Hye furrowed her brows. “SM? Selective Mutism?” She asked and another surprise expression crossed her face. “He couldn’t speak?”

Professor Kim shook his head softly. “He is a mute.”

“Mute?” Shin Hye bit her lip lightly. “Selective Mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure and relaxed.” She said as she opened the file and took a look at the patient’s data. Few faint lines slowly formed on her forehead. “He is 28 years old and he has not been talking for the past 16 years?”

Professor Kim nodded. “His condition is rare and different from the normal SM patient. As you said just now, SM patient choose not to speak when they are uncomfortable with the place, the people or the situation. But they will still speak when they feel comfortable or secure.” He paused and pointed at the file that she was holding. “Lee Min Ho is different. He doesn’t speak at all, not even to his family.” He sighed deeply. “He used to speak like any other normal kids until his sister passed away when he was 12 years old.”

Shin Hye continued to read his medical record but looked up at her professor upon hearing what he said. “His sister passed away? You mean the accident killed his sister?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “His sister was only 10 years old and it was totally an accident. Both of them were playing at the beach when a sudden huge wave hit on them and his sister drowned. He witnessed everything but he was later saved by someone. And since then, he never speak again.”

“Was it confirmed that the accident did not hurt his brain, oesophagus, vocal cords, lungs, mouth or tongue that might affect his speaking ability?” Shin Hye asked.

“All kind of testing have been done on him and the results shows nothing is wrong with his vocal cords and brain. The only thing that is wrong… is his mental.” Professor Kim leaned his back against the chair and let out another deep sigh. “He sealed himself up and isolated himself in his own world. This is a punishment he created for himself.”

“Punishment?” Shin Hye furrowed her brows again. “He thinks that his sister’s death was his responsibility?” She pursed her lips and slowly understands. “He felt guilty that he was still alive but not be able to save his sister. His Selective Mutism problem was not caused by anxiety. It was caused by his personal trauma, his guilt.”

Professor Kim smiled. She is always so smart and fast in interpreting cases. “You are right.”

Shin Hye flipped to the next page and exhaled a soft breath. “The strange part is…” She paused and looked at Professor Kim. “… he is the CEO of Lee Corporation. With his condition like this, he still managed to run such a big organization.”

“He is the sole heir for his father’s company. Although he didn’t speak but overall, he still act like a normal person. He seldom goes to the office and normally works from home. He has a capable personal assistant to assist him.” Professor Kim explained.

“But I don’t understand.” Shin Hye said again. “It has been 16 years but how come there is no improvement in his condition at all?”

Professor Kim inhaled deeply before he reply her. “He is the most stubborn person I have ever met. He knows exactly what is the problem he facing but he just refused to cooperate with me. He is willing to see just because of his parents. For him, the therapy is just a pretentious act to make his parents not to worry about him.”

Shin Hye closed the file and heaved a deep sigh before looking at her professor. “If an experienced psychiatrist like Professor Kim couldn’t help him, what make you think I can handle this case? You should pass this to Yeon Seok oppa. He is more experience compared to me.”

Professor Kim smiled. “I purposely hand this case to you because I think you are more suitable than him.”

Shin Hye narrowed her gaze, waiting for him to explain why.

“You are the best candidate to take this case. You are patient, cautious and caring. I hope by using a different method could help him this time.” He said, staring at the file she was still holding.

“A different method?” Shin Hye don’t get what he mean.

He smiled again without replying her. He hopes with Shin Hye’s smartness, gentleness and kind hearted, she could melt Lee Min Ho’s heart that was frozen for a long time.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Shin Hye took a deep breath when she arrived and was standing in front of a luxury penthouse in one of the most expensive condominium in Gangnam district. According to Professor Kim, Lee Min Ho doesn’t come to the hospital for the therapy because he doesn’t feel comfortable when there are a lot of people around him. And that’s why the therapy will held in his penthouse on every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. The therapy that involved the counselling session will take three hours per day.

“Park Shin Hye, fighting!” She cheered herself up as she inhaled deeply, trying to calm the nerve inside of her. This will be her first case after she graduated and she has to do her best. She moved her hand to the doorbell and pressed on it. After a while, the door was opened and a young beautiful girl was standing in front of her.

Shin Hye nodded politely at her with a smile. “Annyeonghaseyo, Park Shin Hye imnida. I’m looking for… Lee Min Ho-sshi.”

The girl gave her a light smile before she moved to the side, letting Shin Hye to enter the apartment.

As Shin Hye stepped into the apartment, a sudden uneasy feeling creeps into her chest. Her eyes scanned around the place and it shocked her. The walls were all painted in grey colour and heavy black curtains covered all the windows, allowing only minimal light to seep into the living room. The lights on the ceiling were dimmed and it gives people a breathless feeling to stay in a place like this.  It was a dark place… for a dark personality person.

“Annyeonghaseyo, my name is Kim So Eun. Professor Kim already told me about you yesterday. You will be replacing him from now on, right?” She lifted her hand up to Shin Hye. “I’m the personal assistant of Lee sajang-nim. We will have to work very closely from now onwards.”

Shin Hye held her hand and shook it softly. “Nice meeting you.”

Kim So Eun smiled again. “Because today is Tuesday so you will see me around here. I’ll stay in this place weekdays from 9am to 5pm. But during the therapy on Saturday, I’ll not be around. Except for any annual board meetings, sajang-nim doesn’t usually go back to the office. He will work here liaise with the staffs through me. Sajang-nim doesn’t like noise around him. He loves to stay in a total quiet environment.”

“And I guess…” Shin Hye interjected as her eyes looked around the house. “… he love darkness too.” She looked back at So Eun and smiled. “It must be not easy to work under an environment like this.”

“I’m used to it already.” So Eun replied.

Shin Hye nodded. Of course she is used to it and just by looking at her, she is very sure So Eon is a very strong and capable woman. Not everyone could work with a boss like Lee Min Ho she supposed.

“May I know where is Lee Min Ho-sshi? I can start the session anytime now.” She said.

“He is in the study room. Professor Kim normally have the counselling session with him in his study room.” So Eun said as she turned around, leading Shin Hye towards the room.

Shin Hye followed closely behind her and when she stopped at the third room, So Eon turned back to her. “He is waiting for you inside.” She said as she turned the doorknob and opened the door.

The moment Shin Hye walked into the study room, she gasped a heavy breath and almost jump up when she heard the door closed behind her. She glanced around and the design in the study room is the same as the living room. It was also painted in grey and the windows were all covered with heavy black curtains. Only few dimmed lights were and it was bright enough for her to look around the place. She wonders how can he manage to work under such a dimmed brightness.

As her eyes wandered around, it finally stopped at a direction when she saw a man sitting in front of a standing art easel. Looking at the back of his body, he doesn’t look like what she imagined in mind. She thought he is someone with a smaller figure. But… he looked so much… stronger. Even with him sitting, she can see that he is very tall and has quite a muscular body.

She is very sure he knows that she is here because the moment she stepped in, she saw his body straightened. It was a body language showing that he is uncomfortable with