You woke up the next morning and the house was quiet. You wondered for a brief moment if you had dreamt up last night. The only thing that showed that last night was real was the piece of paper on the table that was now signed and had Junhyung’s thumbprint. It was a written contract. It stated that if you chose to keep the baby, you wouldn’t name him as the father, and in exchange, he would give up all his parental rights. You found yourself wondering whether he signed it without hesitating or whether he took some time to think about it before signing. You shook your head. It didn’t matter anyway. The end result was the same. You took one last look at his signature. Not only had he signed away his parental rights, he also signed away his friendship with you.

You walked to the dining table and cleared the uneaten kimchi stew. Soojin unni would have enjoyed this. The moment you remembered her, you groaned. You didn’t know how you were going to tell her about last night. You still weren’t even sure what spurred you to do the things you did. Everything just happened so suddenly. You hoped that Soojin would understand and not freak out and murder you when you filled her in.

“He said what?! And you did what?!” Soojin practically shouted when you had told her what happened during lunch.

“Shhhh!!” You cupped your hand over . “Not so loud, omma. I think the whole school knows enough about me already.”

She gave you a pointed look but didn’t shout anymore. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I’m still working that out but all I know is that I don’t want to get rid of my baby. Even if he doesn’t want her, I still don’t want to give her up.” You placed your hands protectively over your belly. You didn’t know exactly when you had made that decision – maybe there was never really a choice for you, especially since you didn’t want to abandon your child just like you father abandoned you. It hurt knowing that Junhyung was now abandoning his child, just like your father did to you.

“Her?” She said with a puzzled look, interrupting your thoughts.

“Well, I can’t know for sure, not yet anyway. But I don’t want to call my baby, it. So for now, I’m just going to use ‘her’.” You explained and she nodded in understanding.

“Well…. I can’t say that I completely understand your decision but since I’m your best friend and this is the decision that you’ve made, I’ll definitely stick by you every step of the way. You can count on me.” She said proudly.

“Thank you, omma. I’ll definitely let you know what I plan to do when I’ve finalized everything. Oh! One last thing- I’ll be visiting my real omma tomorrow and will only be back on Sunday, so I won’t be able to hang out this weekend, ok? I want to tell her about everything and I think it’s better if I do it in person rather than over the phone.”

“Of course it’s ok. You should go see your mom. Will you be ok travelling by yourself though?” You knew what she was worried about even though she didn’t say it out.

“Don’t worry. It’s only a few hours. I’ll make sure I eat properly and get enough rest. I won’t faint again, omma.” You promised, half teasing. “Anyway, I have to go first. I need to go see Professor Cho to ask him some questions. See you!” You said as a thought popped into your head. She waved as you hurried off.

You found yourself standing in front of Professor Cho’s office and hesitating again before knocking and entering.

“Ah. Ms. Lee, it’s good to see you again. Have you come to inform me of your decision?” He looked at you expectantly while gesturing for you to take a seat.

“Sorry for showing up without arranging an appointment first. But actually, I have a question.” You paused but continued when he nodded for you to continue. “I was wondering when the semester would begin. Their website states that they accept students both in the fall and spring but when do I start if I choose to accept the scholarship?” You asked.

“Well, the scholarship doesn’t state when the student must enrol but most students usually register for the fall semester so that they can continue their studies in the same year they graduate. But, of course, you are more than entitled to register for the spring semester if that is what you wish to do.” He stated simply. “Have I answered your question?” You smiled and nodded. “Does that mean you’ve reached a decision? Or do you have more questions perhaps?”

“Nope, no more questions and yes, I’ve made my decision already…..”