a/n: i’m completely stumped on writing and because someone and someone’s close friend gave me a request, i wrote this as an alternative ending. another fic is in the making, but i haven’t even finished half of it yet because i honestly think i’m hungover with this story too. i honestly dk which one’s a better ending so i’ll just let you guys decide, but this is just a little something for those who wanted a happier ending for kaisoo. the ending that i had planned from the start was the original one though so.... yeah [disappears into darkness]

ps. if you guys really don't want a happy ending, you have the option to close this tab right now and stick to the original ending! it's all up to yall! don't read the text below if you think an alternative ending is unnecessary.

pps. thank you to all of those who subscribed, commented, and voted! i really really really like a million times really appreciate it. i didn’t even think that more than twenty people would read this, let alone actually like it. i know i could’ve done a lot more better with the wording, the grammar, and the construction of the ending itself and i’m truly sorry if some of yall weren’t satisfied with the way i ended it or if i didn’t give the au justice at all! o(╥﹏╥)o so so soooorry (pps i actually saw some of you tweeting about the story and omfg i’m so touched by some of the comments) [disappears into darkness again]

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

“You think I haven’t noticed?” Jongin broke the silence lingering between him and Kyungsoo.

They hadn’t spoken with each other for the past three weeks, courtesy of Kyungsoo avoiding Jongin every time he felt like he was getting too close.

It made Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shoot up as he froze for a split second. “Noticed what?”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“What are you whining about? There’s nothing wrong.”

Obviously, that was a big, fat lie. He woke up this morning lying on a pile of petals he coughed up while he was sleeping. He couldn’t remember a thing, unlike Baekhyun and Junmyeon, who stayed up all night in their room, desperately trying to make Kyungsoo feel better and frantically clean up while the silky pieces of petals scattered around the room. Fatigue was etched on the leader’s face and Baekhyun kept claiming that the reason for his red eyes was because he was up all night. The truth was he couldn’t stop crying when Kyungsoo kept asking to die. He looked miserable, curled up in a fetal position, throwing up petals in between breaths and then sobbing just kill me now. I want to die.

Jongin finally cornered Kyungsoo in what used to be the room they shared together and was now the room where Sehun had crawled into Jongin’s sheets.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked sternly.

Kyungsoo refused to look at him, laughed bitterly, and shook his head. “I’m not avoiding you.”

“You have your lying face on,” Jongin accused.

“How would you even know what my lying face looks like?”

“Because we know each other the best.” Kyungsoo quirked his eyebrows in amusement. “I could be blindfolded right now and I’d still know you’re in the same room as me just because of your breathing.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Kyungsoo shook his head again and turned away from the younger male, hoping that his ‘lying face’ wouldn’t be identified. “I’m not lying.”

“Hyung,” Jongin sighed and the desperation in his voice made Kyungsoo freeze on his spot and crane his head to look at Jongin. “I just– I really miss you. A lot.”

Kyungsoo bit his tongue and faced away from Jongin. “You don’t need to miss me. I’m literally almost always in the same room as you.” Kyungsoo was right, but Jongin thought he would appreciate it more if Kyungsoo didn’t always stand four meters away or didn’t reply with only five words or even less. “You’ve just been too busy with Sehun. It’s like he’s the center of your universe right now, Jongin.”

“You know why I’m doing what I’m doing.”

“I know more than what you think. And that’s why I’m giving you space.” Kyungsoo zipped his bag shut and twisted himself one last time to glance at Jongin. “Hey… Can I ask you something? Hypothetically.”

Jongin raised his eyebrows and took a step forward.

“If I coughed up petals because of you, would you actually try and love me too? Hypothetically, okay?”

“Hypothetically…” Jongin trailed off, thinking of the right words to say. He stared right at Kyungsoo as if he could burn him with his stare. “I don’t think I would even have to try hard. I don’t even think you’d throw up at all. But if you did, I would do everything I can to make it stop.”

Kyungsoo felt his throat dry up and his heart beat more than a hundred miles per hour. He wanted to scream then please love me now. I need you, but he settled for a nod and walked out of the room without another word.

Jongin watched him as he walked out; as he saw petals trailing behind the singer.

He was sure he tidied up the room and got rid of every petal Sehun threw up.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

There were plenty of times when Kyungsoo wanted to give up and stop holding the petals in whenever he was in front of the other members. On many occasions, he wanted to not run away when he could feel the disease going up his throat, threatening to surge all over the floor of their training rooms because he was tired. He was jaded of having to sprint as fast as he can to get to the lavatory where he could throw up in peace with Baekhyun giving him moral support behind him.

Whenever Sehun threw up, everyone would come to his aid, especially Jongin, who was always on red alert beside him. Sehun had everyone crowding inside his hotel room at three in the morning just right after they had landed in Hong Kong and as Jongin cradled his frail and weak body, everyone cleaned up after the mess and fanned a convulsing Sehun, who threw up continuously.

Kyungsoo was infinitely thankful for Baekhyun. He was grateful that he had him by his side and he always had Junmyeon and Baekhyun taking care of him. But he wanted it to be Jongin’s hands making circles on his back to comfort him or Jongin’s voice whispering and assuring him that he’s okay and he’s going to be okay, but after the first time he threw up, nothing really ever went the way he wanted it to go. It wasn’t like Jongin could be cut in half and Kyungsoo thought there was just no way that Jongin was going to pick him.

It had to be in front of thousands of fans and in the middle of their concert when Kyungsoo felt lightheaded and started seeing double. The lights swirled around in his vision and he couldn’t help but fall to his right on stage just as one of their songs ended and the lights dimmed. It was time for their costume change, but instead of heading straight into the dressing rooms, he headed straight of the lavatory located farthest from the stage to make sure that he was alone. He stumbled through the doors and threw his wireless microphone aside to kneel in front of the white porcelain.

About fifteen minutes of heaving a bunch of daisies, Kyungsoo felt his heart stop in his chest when he heard the doors open and close briefly, and the door of a cubicle close with a bang, followed by furious hacking and retching on the other side.

There was a sobbing sound and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but cry himself.

❀

There was a small pool of daisy petals on one part of the stage and Jongin only noticed this when they came out after changing into different outfits. He raced from the stage to backstage and began searching every room he passed by to look for his best friend.

What surprised him was when he to one of the corridors, he found Junmyeon breathless and looking shaken and worried as well.

Junmyeon jogged towards where Jongin was and panted for running non-stop. “Where’s Kyungsoo?”

“Where’s Sehun?” Jongin asked at the same time, and it left him at a confused state to why Junmyeon was looking for the other singer. “What do you mean, ‘where’s Kyungsoo’? He’s on stage,” He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. “Sehun’s gone. And I saw petals on the floor.”

Junmyeon wanted to grab Jongin’s collar and scream Kyungsoo’s ing dying too, but instead, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pulling on the dancer’s sleeve and searching each door they passed by. They had both ran out of breath by the time they had reached the comfort room in the basement just to be met by a flood of daisy petals flying outside of the door. Jongin dropped to the floor to see if the stalls were occupied.

“Sehun. Thank God.” Jongin sighed in relief when he saw someone sitting on the tiled floor, but his heart leapt outside of his chest when he saw that those shoes didn’t belong to the tall and lanky dancer. He pulled the door open and revealed red doe eyes, raw lips, and a fragile, exhausted body surrounded by flowers. “Kyungsoo?”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo huffed out weakly and huskily with his hand travelling to his throat and gripping it in pain. “Sehun... Sehun’s...” He gasped and pointed at the cubicle on the other side, before lurching towards the bowl again for another round of petals. Jongin watched with a terrified look on his face as Kyungsoo threw up the same daisies that Sehun did.

The youngest member was seen sitting on top of the cover of the toilet with his head in between his legs when Junmyeon rushed over to him. He looked up at the leader with tears rolling down non-stop on his face, eyeliner smudging everywhere, and petals sticking everywhere on him.

“I–I d-didn’t know,” Sehun cried as he held his mouth with his palm to stop the sobbing and the flowers from pouring out. “Oh, god. I’m s-sorry, I didn’t know.” He was engulfed in Junmyeon’s arms as the leader took his phone, which he grabbed before running around to find the members, out and pressed it to his ear.

“Hyung, hello? Please call an ambulance. We have an emergency.”

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

There were two ambulances, two stretchers, two pairs of medics, who were tending to both Sehun and Kyungsoo, but there was only one cure they both wanted. And there was no way that no one was going out of that hospital without getting surgery and having their feelings for the dancer permanently removed.

While the doctors were trying to reverse some of the damage to their systems, Junmyeon and Jongin, with their managers using force, both went back to the stage and performed as if they didn’t just see two of their members dying inside one of the comfort rooms in the stadium. Jongin forgot his lines again and again and again because there was only one thing that kept replaying in his mind: snow white daisies falling from plump and rosy-colored lips. And he couldn’t bring himself to believe that it had been happening for weeks already without him knowing.

All while he was snuggling and taking care of Sehun to prevent the disease from worsening, he was slowly killing Kyungsoo, whom he had less and less affection for each time he kissed his best friend. And it was unfair; unjust that someone had to have his love unrequited and suffer pain because of it.

Sehun fluttered his eyes open and he felt the weight on his body lighten up when he saw Jongin’s silhouette standing in front of the window with his gaze skimming the skyline. It already had been six hours since Sehun passed out and he was scared for a split second that they already performed surgery on him, but he could still feel his heart race to the sight of Jongin, reassuring him that he was still in love.

“You’re up.” Jongin turned around with the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled at the sight of Sehun waking up. “How are you feeling?”

“Like too much love is gonna kill me.” Sehun grinned weakly and meant for it as a joke, but Jongin was filled with guilt and he couldn’t help but frown apologetically down at Sehun. “How is hyung?”

“Don’t worry about him,” Jongin shook his head and sat on the space open on the bed.

“You’re right,” Sehun chuckled and smiled to himself. “It’s me who’s gonna die later anyway.”

“No. You’re not going to die because you’re going to have surg–”

“You can’t force me into doing that, Jongin.” Sehun cut him off before the brunet could even finish talking. “I’m not going to let them take love away from me.”

Jongin could pass off as mad, but if anything, he was just hurt. “You’re being selfish. Don’t do this.”

“This is my own decision to make. I’m not going to have surgery.”

Jongin stood up from the bed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “You’re only thinking about yourself!”

The rise of Jongin’s voice surprised the younger man for a moment and he held his breath as he held in the tears.

“Death doesn’t happen to you, Sehun. It happens to everyone around you,” he growled. "It happens to me, to Luhan, to Tao, all of the members, your friends, and your family. It happens to everyone else but you. It’s going to drive everyone ing crazy because they have to wake up every day and try to figure out how to live when you’re ing dead.”

Jongin could hear his own heart beat pounding like the whole hospital building could hear it because he felt mad. He felt enraged because he didn’t want to lose Sehun. His voice jumped an octave higher and it cracked as he felt his eyes become glassy. “You think I wouldn’t care? You think that I’m going to easily move on if you let that disease kill you? I would go out of my ing mind because, Jesus, Sehun. It hurts me that I can’t give you the love that you wanted. Because I want to. I want to give it to you, but I can’t. And you know why. You know why it’s never going to be enough.”

Sehun took a sharp breath and gulped it down. “I’ve made my decision.”

“I’m not going to stand here and watch you die. I love you, Sehun. But I’m not going to do this,” Jongin shook his head and took one last, long, pleading look at Sehun before turning on his heels and storming out of the room.

✿

The doctors came in that night and asked for the finalization of Sehun’s treatments. It was already on the tip of his tongue, the words I’m going to skip the operation, but the members in front of him, who were playing and horsing around made him eat his words.

The day after, he couldn’t feel the heaviness weighing on his body anymore and he woke up feeling good as new, like how he was several months back.

He found himself not caring anymore if it was or was not Jongin sitting on the edge of his bed and he smiled when he sees the blond Chinese member instead of the dancer he used to always crave for.

“Hi, Sehun. Are you okay?” Luhan smiled cheekily as he scooted over closer to the younger male.

Sehun sighed and took a good look at everyone who crowded and gathered around him as they waited for him to wake up. He understood Jongin. He felt loved now more than ever. “I’m good.”

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

It had been so close. Just a little bit more and Kyungsoo would have had slipped away from Jongin’s grip. Kyungsoo could have easily passed as dead as he laid unmoving on the cot of an emergency room with only the heart monitor telling everyone that he still had a little life in him. He was close to heaven’s reach, but the only thing that stopped him from going was Jongin desperately crying outside of his room and sobbing that he loved him. He loved him more than anyone. As Kyungsoo fell into a deep sleep, the doctors tried to calm Jongin down (one of the nurses even gave him a sedative) and assured him that Kyungsoo was fine.

Waking up to Baekhyun’s voice in the morning normally irritated the living hell out of Kyungsoo, but today was different. He was happy to hear it because it drowned out the strange beeping and buzzing noise coming from the machine, which was probably trying to keep him alive, beside him. He lifted the oxygen mask off of his face and tried sitting up carefully. He ultimately gave up though, when he realized that the pain in his body was too much too handle.

“Let’s not hurt ourselves, shall we?” Baekhyun hurried to Kyungsoo’s side and held his shoulders down gently.

“Where’s Sehun?” He mouthed as his eyes darted around the room only to find it save for Jongin drowsing on the couch across the room.

“Oh, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun laughed. “Several minutes from dying a few days ago and you’re still putting others on top of your priority list.”

“Where’s Sehun?” He repeated in a more stable but still weak voice.

Baekhyun sighed and pressed a hand on the younger singer to make him relax. “He’s in another room. Fresh from surgery, actually. You’ve been knocked out for two days.”

Fresh from surgery, actually. The words rang continuously through Kyungsoo’s brain

“That means–” before Kyungsoo could form a coherent sentence, he turned away from Baekhyun and shielded his mouth with his hands to keep the petals from coming out.

The hacking woke Jongin up in an instant and he was immediately by Kyungsoo’s side, rubbing his back and holding him close as Baekhyun ran out and called for the nurses.

“Don’t worry,” Jongin soothed, and Kyungsoo wanted to bawl his eyes out because Jongin’s touch felt good despite the cascading petals from his lips. “The doctors said you’re way better now than last night. There are fewer petals now. It’s– uh... A sign.”

“A s-sign?” Kyungsoo said in between coughs.

“That you’re getting better,” Jongin nodded as he leaned and caught Kyungsoo’s lips with his, stopping the flow of the silkiness from his mouth. “I told you I would do everything. I love you. I have always loved you.”

As much as Jongin wanted to save the both of them, he knew he couldn’t and his feelings for Kyungsoo outweighed his feelings for Sehun. He loved Kyungsoo from the start. It had always been him.

Finally. Finally, it was Jongin and not anyone else. It was Jongin beside Kyungsoo, comforting him and taking care of him. It was Jongin’s arms around him and holding him for dear life and it’s his voice purring assurances that he was going to be okay and whispering ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m yours forever’ into Kyungsoo’s ear.  And it was Jongin, returning the love Kyungsoo also gave him. It’s Jongin himself that stopped the disease from blooming ever again.

By the end of the week, Kyungsoo was approved to be discharged from the hospital to have his flight back to Korea. He had to remain in one of the hospitals in Seoul for one week more, but it was just for tests and to make sure that the disease was going to be contained. It was fine with Kyungsoo, especially because Jongin refused to leave his side.

“You’re never going to see daisies again,” Jongin mumbled as he tangled his fingers with Kyungsoo’s.

Kyungsoo pouted and tightened his hold. “I like daisies. They’re pretty and romantic. They make me feel at peace.”

Jongin scoffed in disbelief. “The only times you’re ever going to see daisies again are when we’re going to a date, when they are arranged by a florist and given by me, and when we’re standing in front of each other and saying our vows to each other.”

“I would like that,” Kyungsoo beamed, still slightly weak, but slowly getting better and reached up to press his lips on Jongin’s cheek.

Flowers once made Kyungsoo think that they were horrible. Heartbreaking. Dreadful. Terrible.

But never again did they seem like that anymore.