“Hey.”

Baekhyun curled a little into himself, his frame tensing as he prepared for pain to shoot through his arm or his side as it seemed to always follow the voice. When several moments passed without it, the brunet was cautious to look to the younger, surprised that Jongin wasn’t attached to his side for once.

“Chanyeol told me that you showed up, banging on his door, drunk off your the other night. What the hell is your problem?” Kyungsoo demanded, Baekhyun’s eyes widening a little. He remembered going to Chanyeol’s apartment, it was a little fuzzy how he had gotten there but he remembered going and most of what he had said.

“I apologized, didn’t I? Did… did nothing come out?” He asked, Kyungsoo squinting at him.

“What are you talking about?” Baekhyun’s head started to hang before there was a shove to his shoulder. “If you plan to keep playing these games of yours, just leave Chanyeol out of it already. He’s been through enough because of you, and I really don’t want to have to find a way to make sure you stay away from him. But I will. He doesn’t need you anymore, and you’re going to have to learn that, sooner better than later,” the dark haired male growled, knocking shoulders with Baekhyun as he walked past the older, whose gaze finally fell to the ground.

He doesn’t need you anymore. The words echoed through his head, making his chest tighten, a dizzy feeling making him realize he was holding his breath before his knees caved. He was blind to the curious looks he was getting as he pulled his legs to his chest, back pressing to his lower level locker, burying his face in his knees. He doesn’t need me… of course he doesn’t… Right after I realized how badly I need him. Baekhyun though, his shoulders trembling as tears stained the knees of his jeans. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting like that, flinching when something brushed against one of his cheeks before his head was pulled up, choking back a sob at the male kneeling in front of him.

“I… I n-need him,” Baekhyun barely managed to get the words out, coughing on the tight pain in his throat as if his entire body was trying to silence him, his shaking becoming even worse as Jongdae shifted to his side, pulling Baekhyun against himself.

“I told you so, idiot,” he murmured into the crying male’s hair. When he started to feel his own heart throb his shoulders relaxed a little because he knew it was from Baekhyun; their bond was fixing what part had been severed and had been keeping him in the dark about how Baekhyun was feeling through all this since the day Baekhyun had broken up with Chanyeol, shutting out Jongdae as well.

“I shouldn’t do this,” Baekhyun argued, though his resistance was weak at best as Jongdae lead his through the apartment complex.

“You do a lot of things that you shouldn’t, so that doesn’t sway me,” he replied, jerking Baekhyun to a stop and backtracking one door. “What apartment was his again?”

“3-0…9,” Baekhyun said slowly, Jongdae shaking his head and making his way to 307. “H-hey, I said-” the brunet cut off when Jongdae knocked on the door, tightening his hold on the other’s wrist to keep him from running.

“I can tell when you’re lying Baekhyun. Now stay right here and make up with your boyfriend,” Jongdae replied, letting go of Baekhyun’s wrist when he heard the click of the door’s deadbolt, hurrying from the door and down the hall. Baekhyun opened his mouth, turning to call out to Jongdae when the door opened and his stomach flipped at the figure in the doorway. He was a lot less blurry this time, now that Baekhyun hadn’t filled his stomach with beer, but he wore the same tired expression.

“Baekhyun, go away,” he ordered, going to close the door only for Baekhyun’s foot to catch in the doorway, hands coming up to try and push it back open. 

“W-wait!”

“I don’t have time for another one of your drunken rambles.” Baekhyun bit his tongue, head starting to hang as he was tempted to turn and run. The throb in his chest from earlier was creeping in, settling in his bones and it made him look up at the younger.

“Do I look drunk right now?” He asked, Chanyeol seeming to be caught a little off guard, and he eased the force he had on the door to keep it closed, Baekhyun’s heart jumping a little when the dark haired male let the door open again. “Look, I’m not sorry for what I said when I was drunk, because I meant every word of it. I’m just sorry I had to be drunk to say it.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at, it’s not like you were making a lot of sense that night,” Chanyeol replied, and Baekhyun fidgeted for almost a full minute before finding his voice again.

“Back then… we were always… Everyone else would just…” Baekhyun bit his tongue, taking a deep breath and letting it out as slowly as his strained patience would let him. “They made me,” he started again, voice catching when Chanyeol scoffed, reaching for the door and Baekhyun’s hands slammed against it in his desperation. “Please,” he begged, his shoulders shaking long before Chanyeol sighed and let go of the door, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I know I sound like a douch, but I think I ended things just… to prove that I could be on my own. We weren’t together for much longer than Kyungsoo and Jongin, but people acted like they were still their own persons… I guess it really bothered me that people didn’t do the same with us, and I didn’t know how to tell you that, and any time I thought that I was starting to be able to express it… it ended up coming out as if you were the one making me feel like that… Because I would get frustrated with being unable to just tell you, even though I knew that was all that needed to be done… I never seemed to be able to explain it in a way that would make sense to you.”

“Baekhyun, you’re still not making sense to me,” Chanyeol sighed, Baekhyun’s hands coming up to run through his hair, as if it would make his thoughts sort themselves out. He was running out of time, any moment now Chanyeol would- he tensed when the other stepped back. “You should leave,” he said, starting to turn away from Baekhyun and make his way back into his apartment, and the brunet took a firm grasp of the hair on either side of his head.

“I love you, okay?!” Baekhyun screamed the words to the point that it made his throat throb like his heart, and when he didn’t hear the door shut he looked up, grip on his hair easing at the wide-eyed expression on the younger’s face.

“What?”

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, I never stopped, I just… Everything got so mixed up in my head and I was stupid. Really ing stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m really, truly sorry,” his voice cracked as tear spilled over his eyelids, flinching a little when there were a pair of arms wrapping around him, and his face was buried in Chanyeol’s chest.

“I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long,” Chanyeol said, face pressed into the top of Baekhyun’s head. “Any time we would fight… It felt like you enjoyed saying hurtful things to me, like you were trying to make me want to leave you… or as if you were testing me… but when the tension would finally go away and you would let me hold you like this, you would tell me that you loved me and all the dirty, cruel things that you said to me would fade away, because I loved you and you loved me and that was all that mattered.” Baekhyun pulled his head back from the other’s chest so he was able to look up at him, shoulders jerking a little as he swallowed back a sob.

“I’ve been so awful to you over the last couple of years… I don’t expect you to forgive me, nothing like that, I… I just needed you to know… I needed to tell you how sorry I was… How sorry I am still, and that I’ll regret what I’ve done forever, because I still love you.” Chanyeol’s eyebrows knit together, and Baekhyun opened his mouth again, only for the younger to pull him against his chest again.

“You still love me?”

“So much that it hurts.”

“Are you sure?” Baekhyun frowned at the question, pulling back again so his eyes could search the other’s face. “I… I want to believe you, but I don’t know if I can. What if you change your mind?” Chanyeol asked, Baekhyun feeling his heart sink.

“I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I’ve made up my mind, and make up for what all I’ve done,” Baekhyun stated, the thundering of his heart growing louder and louder as the dark haired male remained silent. His eyes traced over the younger’s face, searching for something, anything that would give him a glimmer of hope that he knew he didn’t deserve to have, and he started to pull back from the embrace.

“I’ve taken enough chances on you,” Chanyeol said, the brunet cringing and letting go of him, stepping back. He let his gaze fall to the floor as his shoulders dropped, his strength leaving him and he was surprised his legs didn’t take him to the floor with how weak his knees were. “What could one more hurt?” Baekhyun’s stomach dropped so fast that he staggered, eyes widen as he looked up at Chanyeol when the younger caught him to help him keep his balance.

“You... You mean… I… Does that mean I can come home?” He asked, voice shaking as badly as his knees were, and a tight feeling settled in his chest as the smile that pulled at Chanyeol’s lips. 

The older’s knees finally gave way, Chanyeol closing the gap again to catch him and Baekhyun pressed his face into the other’s neck as tears welled up in his eyes again. Chanyeol kneeled down, hooking one arm under Baekhyun’s knees, and the older went limp in Chanyeol’s hold. Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, hearing the door of the apartment close and he pulled his face back from the younger’s neck in time to take in how eerily clean the kitchen and living room was before he was shifted a little so that Chanyeol could open a door. He almost didn’t expect Chanyeol to set him on the bed, a warm feeling enter his heart at the way the younger’s hands lingered in their hold before he pulled back, making his way to one of the dressers in the room.

“Here, you can change into this to sleep in,” Chanyeol said, turning and offering a pair of sleep pants and shirt to Baekhyun.

“I’m staying the night?” Baekhyun asked in a small voice, Chanyeol’s smile faltering a little.

“I-Sorry, I assumed you wanted-”

“I do! I just… I’m just surprised that you’re so willing to have me stay over already,” Baekhyun admitted, standing and starting for the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked, a hint of an amused snort to his voice. “I’ve seen everything before, remember?” he added, Baekhyun hesitating with his hand on the door handle.

“I didn’t think we were at that point anymore,” he admitted before closing the door behind himself before the other could say anything. Way to go, he chastised, sighing. Not five minutes after he gives you another chance and you’re already running again. He swallowed back a small noise at the uncomfortable feeling that bubbled up in his throat, forcing himself to take a deep breath before he changed into the oversized sleepwear. He had to hold the pants up with one hand, and the shirt dangled off of his shoulder as he came back out of the bathroom, a light pink dusting his cheeks when Chanyeol looked back at him from over his bare shoulder.

“Do you want me to put a shirt on?” he asked, noticing the way that Baekhyun fidgeted near the bed.

“You don’t have to,” the brunet said softly, Chanyeol offered a shrug before rummaging around in his dresser again.

“Might make the first night back together less awkward,” he mused, missing Baekhyun’s nod as he tugged the shirt over his head. Baekhyun reached to pull the blankets back while he did, pausing when he noticed the body pillow under the sheets. He looked over at Chanyeol, who was rubbing the back of his neck, an embarrassed blush on his cheeks this time. “I got so used to… holding you when I slept that if I didn’t hug something to my chest at night, I could lay there for hours and not be able to fall asleep,” he admitted slowly, and Baekhyun sat on the bed, hanging his head and shaking it as a small laugh bubbled up. “What? What’s so funny?” Chanyeol asked in that same whined tone that he always used when Baekhyun used to .

“Nothing, just… I…” he looked over at Chanyeol, the smile that the younger missed crossing his lips. “I missed you… so I did something similar.” Chanyeol’s pout faded to surprise before his smile returned and he pulled the pillow off of the bed, laying down in its place.

“If the bed seems cramped I can sleep on the couch or something,” Chanyeol offered, barely getting the words out before Baekhyun snuggled up to his side in the same way that Chanyeol would when they would lay together after a fight. He relaxed a little as Baekhyun’s eyes closed, his own following, opening again when he felt a small tug at his shirt and he looked down to see Baekhyun gripping his shirt. “Baek?”

“Hmm?”

“What’cha doing?”

“I don’t want you to leave…” Baekhyun said softly, shifting a little so his face was out of the younger’s sight, the other humming softly in response. A silence settled over them again, Baekhyun’s voice pulling Chanyeol back from the edge of sleep.

“I can hear your heart.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s… nice…” Baekhyun mumbled shyly and Chanyeol chuckled. “I think I understand why you always wanted to listen to my heartbeat.”

“Like I explained before… I loved listening to your heart because I knew it beat for me.”

When Baekhyun woke up in the morning, it took a few moments to recognize the unfamiliar room, and he turned his head, pressing his face into Chanyeol’s neck, hoping that obstructing the light would help him go back to sleep. The dark haired male he was cuddled up against had different plans.

“Hey Baek?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean it? What you said yesterday?” The brunet pulled his face back, blinking a couple of times so that Chanyeol would come into focus.

“Huh?”

“About making it up to me,” Chanyeol clarified, a nervous feeling starting in Baekhyun’s stomach before he nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied slowly, eyes searing the younger’s face for a hint to what was coming next.

“Good. You can start by kissing me.