Chapter Nineteen:
You’re a Wound That Will Grow With Me Forever
We Didn’t Know How Precious Each Other Was So We Hurt Each Other
Let’s Rewrite an Ending That Fits

“…ng?”
 

Minseok blinked slowly, tracing over the words on his paper with his pencil.
 

“-Hyung?” There was a tap on his shoulder that pulled him out of his daze and he looked to the blond that the touch belonged to.

“Yes, Junmyeon?”
 

“You were spacing out again. You’ve been doing that a lot this last week, are you alright?” Junmyeon asked and Minseok set down his pencil.
 

“Yeah, I just… haven’t been sleeping well.”
 

“Maybe you should quit with the caffeine,” The light brown haired male across the table said and Minseok arched an eyebrow at him.

“Maybe you should try double majoring and see how far you get without coffee, Yifan,” Minseok returned, Junmyeon placing a hand on Minseok’s shoulder.
 

“I’m sure Yifan-hyung didn’t mean anything disrespectful,” He soothed and Minseok looked back down at the paper in front of him. “Our instructor gave us today to go over the basics of our assignments. I think we’re finished if you want to head him and try to get some rest,” Junmyeon suggested and Minseok shook his head, looking up at the clock.
 

“Fifteen minutes won’t make much of a difference, and you would just have to spend time filling me in on what I missed on Tuesday,” Minseok replied, hearing Yifan mumble something about how he wasn’t exactly there and focused now anyway, and he wasn’t surprised that Junmyeon didn’t pull his hand back from where it rested on his shoulder until class was over. Yifan was the first to leave in the end, and as Junmyeon and Minseok were packing Minseok fought with himself until the other’s name passed his lips and captured the blond’s attention.
 

“Do you by chance know anything about soulmates?” He asked, Junmyeon pulling his messenger bag over one shoulder.
 

“I know everyone is said to have them, and a few things about platonic soulmates. But I don’t know if I could explain it like-” He cut off into a squeak, jumping and Minseok watched him crane his neck to look at the brunet grinning behind him. “Why do you do that!?” He exclaimed and the brunet laughed as Minseok’s eyes traveled down just enough to see he was holding onto Junmyeon’s before his eyes darted back up.
 

“Mm… Because you’ve never told me not to? And you seemed to like it last ni-”
 

“Stop talking.” Junmyeon demanded, his cheeks starting to turn red and the brunet released his behind, holding his hips instead as he rested his chin on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “This… thing, is Kim Jongdae.”
 

“Thing? Oh how you wound me Junnie,” Jongdae whined, Junmyeon keeping his eyes on Minseok’s.
 

“He’s basically a walking encyclopedia when it comes to soulmates,” Junmyeon concluded and Jongdae’s eyes lit up, his chin coming up off of Junmyeon’s shoulder.
 

“Your friend here in need of help?” Jongdae asked and Minseok gave a small nod.
 

“I thought that I had found my soul mate, how we felt matched the bit that I had learned about. We felt pulled towards each other but he was always trying to force himself with things... Except when we were put in public where he would barely even look at me. I thought it was something he would get over, but after several months…” His gaze lowered to the floor. “It didn’t feel right anymore. I know couples fight but… none of it felt right before long and we tried to talk about it… Some things we talked to death and it hurt to tell him I was tired of trying.”
 

Minseok swallowed the lump in his throat, shifting back to lean against the desk. “And even now, it’s been a week and I still feel connected to him. So that means he has to still feel connected to me,” He paused for a moment, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. “I was so sure that we were soulmates, but if that’s what being with him is going to be like, is supposed to be like, I can’t do it,” He took two slow breaths before the brunet responded.
 

“I think you did find your soulmate,” he said and Minseok looked up at him. He wasn’t holding onto Junmyeon anymore, standing beside him instead. “I just think you didn’t do that much research. Otherwise you might have learned about everyone having a platonic and a romantic soulmate. You say you felt drawn to him, right?” He asked and Minseok nodded. “Did you feel like you get hit in the head with a brick?” He asked, Minseok’s expression going blank and Jongdae let out a small laugh. “You’re looking at me like I’m nuts, so I’m gonna guess no,” He said, crossing his arms over his chest, humming as he thought. “Was it more like you wanted to be close to him? To learn everything you could about him?”
 

“Yeah.”
 

“Did seeing him for the first time leave a pounding in your chest? Maybe even take your breath away and leave your toes feeling numb?” Minseok thought for a long moment, his eyes traveling back to the floor.
 

“… No, it didn’t. If it wasn’t for the pull I would have thought of him as any other friend for a long while,” Jongdae nodded, a small smile crossing his lips.
 

“You don’t look like someone who lost their soulmate. You just look a little lost,” Jongdae concluded, Junmyeon swatting his upper arm.

“That was rude,” The blond scolded as Jongdae gave him a startled look, rubbing his arm.
 

“Actually,” The pair looked to Minseok. “Actually, I think that was exactly what I needed to hear,” The copper haired male looked to Jongdae. “Thank you. I think I know what I need to do.”
 

“Anytime,” Jongdae replied, stepping to the side to allow him to walk between Junmyeon and himself, and Minseok fished out his mobile, scrolling through his contacts. Selecting one he held his mobile to his ear, hurrying through the hall as the line rang. He was starting to think that LuHan wasn’t going to answer when there was a soft click.
 

“LuHan?” He was met with silence, squinting a little as he got outside of the building and it was brighter than he had been expecting. “LuHan please, talk to me,” He pleaded, hearing the other’s breath catch.
 

“I thought you said talking didn’t accomplish anything.”
 

“That’s because we always said the same thing. I think I understand what’s going on. Please LuHan; just give me half an hour…” He was met with silence again and his pace slowed. “I’m not going to try to make you, I know I started all of this. I… I’m sorry,” He said, hanging up and looking down at his mobile. When his grip on it tightened he slid it back into his pocket, finishing the short walk to his apartment, dragging his feet a little as he kept his head hung. He was almost at the door to his apartment when he noticed the figure sitting across from it unsure if he was really seeing the brown haired male or not for a moment. LuHan looked over at him, giving half a smile to Minseok’s wide eyed expression.
 

“I’m sorry too,” He said as he stood. “I… learned some things about soulmates last week… I don’t really know why I couldn’t bring myself to call you.”
 

“I was the one to break it off, I can hardly blame you for not initiating the call,” Minseok replied, closing the distance between them. He started to go in for a hug but stopped halfway and turned to unlock the door of his apartment instead. He opened the door and LuHan followed him in, and he turned to face the younger who initiated the hug this time, surprising Minseok again. “I’ve missed you,” Minseok said softly, LuHan nodding.
 

“Can we talk this out this time?” He asked, and Minseok tightened his grip on LuHan for a moment before pulling back with a smile.

“Getting hit with a brick?” Junmyeon asked, arching his eyebrow at Jongdae after Minseok had left.
 

“Hmm?” Jongdae asked, looking to him.
 

“You just asked Minseok-hyung if he felt like he got hit with a brick. I’ve never heard anyone describe it like that,” Junmyeon stated, watching Jongdae intertwine his fingers behind his head, leaning back against the desk being him
 

“Most don’t. Doesn’t sound like a pleasant feeling, does it?” Junmyeon stated at him, giving Jongdae his answer silently and the brunet’s expression softened.  “If he had found his romantic soulmate, he would have known it… Even if he didn’t know about how soulmates work,” He said, Junmyeon watching his gaze lose its focus. “If people weren’t able to tell, then we wouldn’t have all the information and research that we do have about them, because people wouldn’t have gotten curious enough about it to start the research. Everyone would still be so lost…” He explained.
 

“This…” Junmyeon’s started after several moments of silence, Jongdae snapping back to attention and looking up at him. “You weren’t kidding before. All this stuff about soulmates really does mean a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Jongdae nodded slowly, lowering his hands to hold onto the edge of the desk.
 

“Yeah, it does.”
 

“You know, you’re not so bad like this. When you’re not trying to tell everyone about what we do together.”
 

“So Junnie likes me quiet?” Jongdae grinned and he blond rolled his eyes, turning and heading for the door to the classroom.
 

“I take it back, you’re always annoying,” He deadpanned, the familiar feeling of Jongdae’s arm around his shoulders soon following.
 

“And yet you keep coming back.”
 

“Says the one following me to my next class.”

“ZiTao!” Yifan called as he entered the dorm, carrying the last two boxes from his apartment. Looking over at the note on the fridge that listed Sehun’s work schedule showed that he should have been home a few hours ago, but it didn’t look like he was home; it didn’t seem like anyone was. “What could those three be doing this late?” He mumbled to himself, the clock on the wall reading sometime past eight. He opened the door to his and ZiTao’s room, setting the boxes beside the closet and beginning to work on putting things away. Halfway through the second box he heard the front door open.
 

“He saw you peek in.”
 

“Shut up Hyung, no he didn’t.”
 

“I think Jongin’s right, why else would he have smiled?” ZiTao’s laugh muffled the groan that escaped Sehun and Yifan made his way to the doorway, watching Sehun flop onto the couch.
 

“What’s going on?” He asked, ZiTao prancing over to him and latching onto his arm.
 

“Jongin’s boyfriend is practicing with Sehun’s boyfriend for that music thing you’re excited about.”
 

“Hyung! He’s not my boyfriend, I regret saying anything about him to you. Go to bed or something.”
 

“And Sehun got to hear him sing earlier,” Jongin chimed in, sitting on the arm of the couch. “If he wasn’t smitten before, he sure is now.”

“I’m not smitten!”
 

“Your arms were covered in goosebumps,” Jongin countered and Sehun groaned again, covering his face.
 

“GeGe! Do you sing?” ZiTao asked, and the older looked away from the embarrassed blond trying to push Jongin off of the couch.

“Not much, it’s not really a skill you need for a career in business,” Yifan replied. “I’m glad you went out with them rather than cooping yourself up in our room,” He added and ZiTao smiled again.
 

“It was fun watching Sehun turn all red,” He giggled, said blond getting up from the couch and opening the door to his and Jongin’s room.

“I’m going to bed,” He mumbled, Yifan seeing how red his ears were before the door closed behind him. Jongin looked to Yifan and ZiTao, still smiling.
 

“I’ve put up with him teasing me about Kyungsoo-Hyung and me this last year, so I’m enjoying revenge now that has finally showing interest in someone,” He stated before sliding off the arm of the couch and opening the door to their room. “I’ll let him off the hook for the night so everyone can sleep tough,” He added.
 

“Wǎn'ān~” ZiTao called after him.
 

“You’ve been in a really good mood the past couple of days,” Yifan said and ZiTao looked up at him. “After Sehun and you went out for dinner. You’ve been hanging out with him a lot more on, I take it you two bonded a little,” ZiTao hummed happily, letting go of Yifan’s arm and padding over to his bed, flopping back onto it.
 

“He’s nice, and I think he sees me as a friend like I see him. Jongin too,” He explained, Yifan closing the door behind himself as he followed ZiTao inside.
 

“That’s really great news. I know as the year goes on I’m going to be spending some days going on business trips, so it makes me feel better knowing that you’re already making friends with people other than myself and Victoria,” Yifan said, digging in the box he had been finishing unpacking. “Also, I have something for you,” He said, ZiTao sitting up as he turned to the younger, holding up a white shirt with a panda on the front.
 

“You already gave me one of your shirts to sleep in, GeGe. Is this your way of telling me you want it back?” ZiTao asked, taking the offered shirt.
 

“No you can still keep that one. I bought this one for you because it seemed like it would be big enough that you wouldn’t have to wear the sleep pants I gave you,” Yifan said and ZiTao looked down at the shirt as he felt his cheeks burn. “Wanna try it on?” Yifan asked and ZiTao nodded slow, standing and from the bed and padding to the bathroom.
 

Yifan had changed into his own sleepwear by the time ZiTao came back out of the bathroom, biting his lip as he waited to Yifan to turn around. His gaze was locked on the floor when the other did, fidgeting with the fabric and seeing Yifan’s smile out of his peripheral vision. It did fade a little when the blond didn’t say anything and Yifan took a couple of steps towards him.
 

“Are you alright, ZiTao? Do you not like it?” He asked and ZiTao shook his head, feeling the neck of the shirt slip so it was hanging off his shoulder and his blush spread down his neck as the other fixed it. “It looks cuter on you than it did on me,” He mused and ZiTao looked up at him from under his eyelashes.
 

“You tried it on?” He asked. It was obvious that the shirt wouldn’t have been too small, so it didn’t seem to make much sense for the other to feel the need to try it on.
 

“I know we’re about the same size, and I wanted to make sure I got one long enough since you didn’t like the idea of me seeing your boxers,” Yifan smiled and ZiTao’s heart skipped a beat as Yifan looked him over. “So I got one that I was sure would go down to your knees,” He added, and ZiTao took a slow breath. “Come on, let’s head to bed. You have classes in the morning,” Yifan stated and ZiTao nodded, following the other’s nudge and climbing into Yifan’s bed. Yifan the small night on his dresser before turning off the main room light and padding over to the bed. Pulling the covers back he crawled in beside ZiTao who shyly snuggled into his side once Yifan had lain down, and he soothed his hand over the back of ZiTao’s head.
 

“Goodnight, GeGe.”

“Goodnight,” Yifan said softly, kissing the top of the younger’s head.