Rule #47: Never follow the rules

"Why are you here?"

He didn't sound mad, he didn't sound scary, he didn't sound threatening.

He sounded genuinely curious.

"Your doctor told me that you like reading."

Sang Min watched her cautiously, almost like a lamb approaching a lion. "Yeah…I do."

Saera her lips and dug her hand into her bag and pulled out a hardcover book and set it on the table of the common room of the psychiatric hospital.

It was where visiting hours were held.

She tapped her fingers against the cover before sliding it over to him.

"I got permission to give this to you."

Sang Min, whose hair had grown out and flopped over his forehead, slowly reached for the book. Saera watched, with creased brows as he lifted the book and scanned the title.

"Rules…of Deduction?" He asked quietly as he stared at the plain cover.

Saera nodded, "I...I wrote it, actually."

Sang Min's eyes darted up to her face and stared at her, unblinking, for a long time before he pulled his eyes back to the cover.

"Jinyoung used to say that you wrote a lot. He said that it was mainly short stories and some poetry."

Saera's couldn't stop the sour look that twisted her features. She didn't think she could ever see him as anything other than The Collector, so hearing him talk about her brother felt wrong.

He still killed those girls and sitting across from him didn't feel like she was sitting across from Jinyoung's ex-boyfriend.

It felt like she was sitting across from a murderer.

"We've added dependant personality disorder to his previous diagnosis. He has a long way to go, Ms. Choi, but he is showing progress, slowly but surely. It would help if you talk to him. You don't have to forgive him, just talk. He needs to see that there's hope outside of his pain."

She did her research before she came to see him.

Dependant personality disorder basically meant a person who had a desperate need to be taken care of and the fear of being abandoned by the people in their lives.

She found it accurate, it explained how submissive he was to Yoo Chang and how easily he was to be manipulated.

She wasn't sure how someone could be cured of a disorder like that, buy she wasn't the doctor.

"Daesang Award for Best New Author." He read out when he flipped the book over.

Saera snapped out of her zoned out gaze and stared at the silver seal that was placed on the bottom corner, "It sold well, I guess."

"The most copies ever sold in the first week of its release and broke records for the fastest best seller in just a month of being sold." He mumbled.

Saera froze, her eyes darting to his, "How…"

"We have a television in the recreational room." He said without looking up.

Saera looked down at her lap, "Oh."

"Will you be writing other books?" He said timidly.

She shrugged carelessly, "I don't know. I didn't even plan on writing this one. It sort of just happened."

"Jinyoung must be prou--"

"Don't." Saera said sternly, before her voice softened, "Don't talk about him, please."

Sang Min looked away, "Right."

Silence fell over them as she made no attempt to talk to him. Sang Min looked at the book before flipping it open.

"What's it about?"

Saera shrugged stiffly, "Everything, I guess."

"Am I…am I in it?" He asked quietly.

Saera nodded, "Yeah, you are. You're in a lot of it."

"What about what I did?" His voice shaking on the last word.

Saera didn't look affected, "Yeah. Every single victim."

Sang Min set the book down, staring at it like it was alive. Saera felt her eye twitch at his behaviour and dug her nails into her palm.

"Just because you're sick doesn't mean that you get to forget about what you did to all those girls. You still killed them. And you don't get to just get away with it. The public shouldn't forget. I'm glad you're getting the treatment you need, but you're not the only victim here. You're still alive, those girls aren't." She growled.

Sang Min shrunk in his seat, his eyes darting to the orderly that was standing nearby, "I know."

"I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake." Saera breathed out as she stood up. She picked up her novel and was about to turn when Sang Min spoke up.

"Will you leave the book?"

Saera let out a soft breath and tossed the book down in front of him. "Here. And I don't think you'll see me again, Sang Min but I really hope you get the treatment you need."

She took a few steps away from him when he spoke up again.

"Can you…Can you tell Jinyoung that I'm sorry about everything that's happened? I never meant to disappoint him."

Saera turned and gave him a look, but he was too busy looking at the dedication that was inscribed on the second page of the book.

For Choi Jinyoung and Choi Youngjae

I love you for everything that you are and everything you will be.

-----

Saera pushed open the doors of the psychiatric institution and walked out into the fresh air.

Her stomach was still heavy, but there was calmness in her stride as she walked up to a car that was all too familiar to her.

Mark was looking at his phone, leaned up against his car, when he glanced up and spotted her walking towards him. He tucked his phone into his back pocket and straighten up before meeting her half way.

"Hey how did it g--"

Saera reached out and hugged him, cutting him off as her arms wrapped around his torso. She tucked her face close against his neck and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath of his cologne, something that always calmed her down, as his arms came around her body.

"That bad, huh?" He said into her hair.

She sighed and leaned her head against his neck, "No, it was okay I guess, but I don't know if I'll come back. "

"You don't need to check up on him, it's not your responsibility. Even today's trip was unnecessary." Mark pointed out as he pulled away from her to grip onto her waist.

She huffed out a breath, "I know, I just wanted to see him in there. I wanted to see what he was like."

"And?"

She swallowed the lump down , "And…and I don't know. I don't know how I feel. I feel bad for him, but I still can't stand to look at him. He killed people."

"And that's why he's getting treatment. He's not getting let off easier than your father Sae. For all we know, he could be institutionalized for the rest of his life. You showed me your research, his disorders aren't something you heal overnight." He mumbled as their noses bumped together.

She stared at her feet, "I know, I just don't like feeling conflicted."

"Well, you don't need to forgive him to get closure. He can't hurt you anymore, so all you need to focus on is leaving that part of your past behind and just keep moving forward."

She grinned and pushed up on her tippy toes. She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, messing it up, "I know. Thank you."

Mark couldn't help but match her smile when her eyes lit up adorably. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers a few times before pulling away.

"Ready to go?" He whispered as his eyes scanned her face.

She nodded and Mark kissed her forehead before unlocking his car doors.  Saera stared out the window at the institution as Mark started the car up.

She watched as the building slowly faded in the distance as Mark drove them further and further away from it.

It felt like it was a sign, a sign that Sang Min was going to continue to slowly fade as she moved forward but she'd always be able to see a speck of him in the rearview mirror.

In reality, she knew that she'd always be keeping close tabs on Sang Min and his progress, but she knew that it wouldn't consume her life.

She wouldn't let it.

She wouldn't let him.

"How do you manage to see and deal with people like Yoo Chang and Sang Min on a daily basis for work and not be affected by it all?" She blurted out suddenly.

Whenever Mark came home from a nasty case or giving his testimony at court, he never seemed depressed or bogged down by dark thoughts.

He'd just kiss her and try to talk