Devastated. That had been how Junmyeon felt after Kris left their group. It had been something completely unexpected and no one had been prepared for it; there had been tears, angry and harsh exclamations thrown in the heat of the moment but most of all there was an emptiness that has settled into their core.

Jongdae had told them all that it was due to the piece of their heart that was now missing and, while he had said it jokingly, it was very clear that there was a sadness lingering in his eyes, even his voice seemed flat, contrasting deeply with the happy lilt he usually had.

Junmyeon was actually thankful for Jongdae and his attempts to help everything fall back into normalcy because everyone was a mess; Chanyeol, Tao and Sehun were probably the most vocal about it, expressing quite loudly how unfair Kris’ decision had been and their resentment, which had left him befuddled since the first two were special close to Kris; Minseok and Kyungsoo had been quiet, as usual, not really expressing what was going through their minds and Yixing and Jongin were a mix between sad and confused at everything, he himself could be fitted into this category as well.

Baekhyun and Luhan were a whole another story; the younger man had been truly lost, he was extremely close to Kris and looked at him as a role model so, Kris’ decision had been like a er punch into his gut and, truth to be told, it was painful to see the usually bright man so quiet and introverted. Junmeyon had heard the rumors about Baekhyun being slapped by SM staff but the younger refused to talk about it.

Luhan, for some reason, had become increasingly more pensive and withdrawn; he was, contrary to popular belief, a quiet person and rather timid, but this was a whole other level: the blank stares, the isolation but what had alarmed Junmyeon the most was the fond look on his eyes when he observed his friends interacting, from a distance, mixed with a melancholic smile. Even scarier than those looks was the fact that Junmyeon simply couldn’t read Luhan’s anymore, as if he had lost the ability to know what the other was thinking.

Junmyeon was proud to say he was a good leader and that is members found him trustworthy but lately he had been second guessing himself, especially when he was left with a bunch of torn, confused men and had absolutely no clue what to say or to do to make them feel better. How do you convince someone that everything is okay when, in reality, it was not? How could he lie like that? He couldn’t. Especially when even he, himself, wasn’t okay. But he held on! He kept his smile and kept on loving harder than he ever had, in order to make up for the huge gap in their hearts.

It seemed to work for a while; their smiles, albeit weak, started to reappear, the sound of laughter was heard again in the dorms and their hearts began to heal. However, despite his best efforts, and everyone else’s for the matter, Luhan seemed as unreachable has he had been since Kris’ departure, almost like a butterfly, because no matter how hard Junmyeon tried to catch him and keep him near, he would always flutter out of reach.

Junmyeon would watch him as his eyes wonder into nothingness and his mind went into his own little world, faraway from reality. Junmyeon wasn’t really a superstitious person by nature but he could feel trouble coming up their way and he just prayed he could keep the boat from sinking.

It shouldn’t have been as big a surprise ad it did when their manager had told them about Luhan’s decision to nullify his contract and leave EXO. He had felt it deep in his bones but Junmyeon certainly wasn’t expecting something as big as this; as earth shattering.

They were all together in the dorms when manager hyung came to them, looking very tired and very old, and simply announced that Luhan was leaving. It took them a long time to understand but so little to react: Jongdae had immediately stood up, cheeks ablaze, asking innumerous questions, Sehun had stood up and left the room, Jongin following him quickly, since the maknae looked absolutely devastated; Minseok had his face hidden behind his hands; Tao had tears dripping down his cheeks, mumbling something to Yixing, who had laid a comforting hand on his back, looking confused and a little betrayed; Kyungsoo just stood where he was, eyes wide and uncertain, unsure how to feel and what to do; Chanyeol had stood up from the couch rather violently and was walking straight to the door, being intercepted in his way by Baekhyun, who asked him to calm down, which had ended in the taller shouting profanities at the older boy who, as Junmyeon could see, was on the verge of sobbing his heart out.

As for him, he just stood there, sat in a chair, while chaos burst around him, between tears and shouts and pushes. He sat for a long time, silently watching as everyone left, leaving only him, Minseok, Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the room, then he felt it; all the way from his stomach up to his mouth, bubbling through is body until it finally spilt from his lips. He laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed, silencing all the voices still in the living room and making their heads turn to him.

“He left!” He giggled “He just left us all!” 

The giggles that escaped from his lips turned into frantic sobs in a matter of seconds, while tears poured from his eyes, dripping into the carpet.

A pair of arms encircled his waist, coming up to gently rest on his back, while a delicate hand brought his face to the crook of a very warm neck. He felt the soft shushing noises more than he heard them, as Baekhyun, Junmyeon would recognize those hands anywhere, kept muttering a bunch of incoherent sentences in the shell of his ear.

He heard Minseok and Chanyeol shuffle behind them and leaving the room, so there was only him and Baekhyun.

“Cry! Cry all you want hyung. I know how it feels to see someone you love go.” Whispered Baekhyun, rubbing a hand along Junmyeon’s spine, tracing random patterns on the leader’s back.

Junmyeon’s breath hitched a little at the hidden message in Baekhyun’s words, it would appear that the younger knew how Junmyeon felt about Luhan. The way the younger boy had uttered the words made it very clear.

In a way, Baekhyun understood very well what Junmyeon was going through; when he was a trainee people had scoffed at him and discredit him because of his short time of training, telling him he would never be good, and Baekhyun truly had been a lonely kid, training harder to prove he was worthy. Kris had been the person who approach him and took care of him, which was just what the younger had needed, since then, both of then shared a strong bond, like brothers, and Junmyeon knew fairly well that Kris leaving had affected Baekhyun more than the other let others know.

“How did you know?” he asked, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder, gazing into the darkened room, letting his voice waver a bit because he was terrified about the prospect of having someone knowing his well-kept secret.

“The signs were there; I just picked them all and made an educated guess that turned out to be correct.” answered Baekhyun easily, silently conveying that there was okay with Junmyeon’s secret.

They stood there in silent and Junmeyon basked a little in the comfort offered by his dongsaeng. It wasn’t that often that Junmeyon got to be pampered, being the leader and one of the oldest members, he had a role to play and it usually involved comforting and not being comforted, so this switch of roles felt nice, despite the dark emotions that consumed him.

For a moment, Junmyeon was deeply thankful for Baekhyun. It was funny that no one saw Baekhyun as being a capable, mature person, for he was known for being the mood maker, but the truth was, the younger was an extremely sensitive and sensible young man, very tuned with everyone’s moods and emotions, he was, after all, the second oldest in EXO-K and now the forth oldest in EXO.

“Sometimes I wonder if you really didn’t love him as more than a brotherly figure…”

“I wondered that myself many times but no, Kris was a brotherly figure only. I missed my family and the words of advice of my hyung and Kris took on that role. He became important as you all did. My heart had already filled that position long time ago.”

“Is it Taeyeon?” asked Junmyeon, knowing fully that is dongsaeng was distracting him.

“No. I don’t even know why people automatically think that I like her. It’s not that I don’t, she is a talented young woman and I want to learn from her, but apart from the sunbae and hoobae, we don’t really have anything.”

“What about the rumors of you dating?” asked Junmyeon, using a hand to wipe his tears.

“Made to divert attention from Kris leaving.”

Junmyeon wanted to ask Baekhyun who was the person that had made the other fell for him but he didn’t, he didn’t want to overstep that boundary, however Baekhyun, as perceptive as he was, smiled at his leader.

“It’s a he and an EXO member. That is all I am going to say.”

The lingering sadness in Baekhyun’s voice was the trigger that Junmyeon needed to inquire the other, assuring that he was okay, despite being heartbroken.

“Is everything okay?”

Baekhyun shrugged a little, before answering with a little smile.

“Yes and no. I’m not really sure. Anyway, Luhan huh? I have to say I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Neither did I. He dotted on me and I liked it, I am more used to give attention than to receive it and it just felt nice. I tried not to think much of it or, at least, don’t get too involved because I was really afraid of his reaction but, as you see, it didn’t work.”

“I understand, but hyung, you should say something to him, don’t let him go without saying something.”

“I can’t Baekhyun. What good will it do? He’s leaving. He’s abandoning us.” As he uttered those words, Junmyeon felt a surge of rage and anger bubble up in his stomach and clawing his insides. “He packed up his things and turned his back on every single one of us. I was close to him, we supported each other, and I held his hand when he needed, we all did, and this is how he chooses to repay us?”

Baekhyun was completely caught off guard with this sudden transformation on Junmyeon’s part; his face had morphed into an angry scowl and his tear tracks had subsided and given place to a red face.

“Junmyeon” he called softly and with a hint of caution “I know that this is a very delicate topic at the moment but we really shouldn’t judge him without knowing his motives, no matter how hurt and angry we are at the moment.”

“Don’t defend him! His actions are not justifiable! He left Baekhyun! He felt! And I love him and it hurts!”

“You’re just saying that because you are hurt but you don’t really believe that hyung.”

Baekhyun almost recoiled when Junmyeon pushed himself out of his embrace and looked at him with such hatred that it was actually scary.

“I’m hurt. I’m hurt beyond belief but don’t think for a second that I don’t believe my words, because I do! I really do! He doesn’t deserve an ounce of our consideration or even our support. Don’t you dare to support him, don’t you even dare to try and make him look less guilty.”

“Junmyeon, really! Let’s not say something we regret latter.”

Baekhyun was interrupted when Junmyeon suddenly grabbed his wrist and brought his face near him.

“You know what Baekhyun? I thought I was a good leader but apparently I’m not, I must have been really horrible one for two of my fellow members leave. So no more! No more!”

The younger was completely petrified; he just had such a heartfelt conversation to his leader, where he thought he was helping his leader dealing with his feelings and now, his leader, sweet Junmyeon, had done a completely three sixty on him and turned absolutely harsh and consumed by negative feelings.

“Junmyeon hyung you’re kinda hurting me.” Whispered Baekhyun when Junmeyon tightened his grip on his wrists.

Junmyeon was not listening to Baekhyun. His eyes were completely devoid of emotion, just pools of obsidian nothingness. It was scary. And Junmyeon, no matter how many times Baekhyun called him, lost in his own world, was tightening his grip on Baekhyun who whimpered slightly since he couldn’t really smack his leader no his face, specially knowing that Junmyeon wasn’t really intending to do that, he was just to consumed with anguish at the moment.

“Junmeyon?”

Junmyeon let go of Baekhyun, startled by the new voice. Jongin was standing in the doorway, looking in dismay at the scene before him. Junmyeon let go of Baekhyun and stood there for two seconds, before leaving the room but not sending Jongin a request.

“As from today, I will be rooming with no one. You have until evening to take your things from my room.”

Jongin and Baekhyun were left in the living room, looking at each other in shock.

“What in the world just happened?” asked Jongin approaching Baekhyun and inspecting his reddening wrists. “Did he just do those?”

“I’m not really sure, we were just talking and I guess I must have said something because he just flipped, for a lack of a better word.”

Baekhyun looked at Jongin from under his lashes, praying that the younger would believe his words, since he was fiddling a bit with the truth. Jongin didn’t seem to buy it.

“I can tell when you are hiding things from me, you know that right?” Baekhyun bit his lip and Jongin continued “I’m gonna talk to…”

“No, you are not. You’re going to let this go. It was an isolated case and Junmyeon is just really upset at the moment.”

“Baekhyun I really think it would be better if we talked to someone, look at your wrists.”

“Please don’t Jongin. Just let this go this time okay?”

“What if I tell him?” asked Jongin, emphasizing the last word.

“No, especially not him. We are all having a really hard time. Let’s not make things worse. Promise me this Jongin.”

“Okay.” Agreed Jongin making Baekhyun sigh, relieved.

Baekhyun was suddenly tired. His all body was feeling tired and empty. Jongin seemed to notice that because he pulled Baekhyun into his embrace, trying to give some support to one of his favorite hyungs.

“Everything is going to be okay hyung. We just have to wait until the dust settles.”

Baekhyun smiled thinly at Jongin, trying his hardest to believe the younger’s words but, seeing how Junmyeon had cracked and reacted to all this situation, he had a nasty feeling that everything was about to get worse. What he didn’t know was how accurate his predictions were.

A/N: Okaaaay! So here it is the first chapter!  I seriously hope you are not toooo disappointed in this! And well, if you liked it, for some reason, let me know and subscribe and comment, vote, all of that stuff! Love to you all!