Chapter 29

It’s… warm. And soft, and… comfortable.

SeulGi’s pair of lips, that is.

Those lips that Irene had been wanting so bad to touch with hers for the past few weeks now. Those lips that seem too alluring for her,

Those lips that she now tastes.

Those lips held captured by her, those that she kisses with anxiety – afraid that SeulGi will pull back, or that SeulGi will push her away. When all Irene wants is for SeulGi to pull her closer.

And SeulGi’s lips are all warm and soft and comfortable on Irene’s, SeulGi’s lips that Irene doesn’t want to leave hers.

So Irene tries to be a little bit bolder than normal – than she wants to, than she needs to. Because she still partly blames the liquor seeping inside her system and hacking her brain into doing daring things like these.

Things like being the one to pull a little bit more brashly so that SeulGi can not pull away even if SeulGi tries, to be the one to hold on to SeulGi’s face a little bit more to feel SeulGi, to taste SeulGi.

Because this might probably be the first and last kiss that they’ll share. Because after this, when the morning comes and taunts Irene, she will be slapped with the reality that SeulGi would be gone,

That SeulGi would not be there anymore – for her, with her.

So Irene tries to be a little bit bolder than normal,

Because she knows that this is the last time.

---

Irene wakes up with a headache.

She opens her eyes as she tries to remember what happened, and her head aches a little bit more than it already does when she touches her lips and remembers where the warm feeling that still resides there came from.

We kissed.

She quickly looks around – panic starting to overwhelm her – to look for SeulGi but realizes that she’s alone in the room. She puts a hand to her chest to calm her raging heart when she thinks of what else happened, because did Irene chase SeulGi away?

Did she scare SeulGi? Because of what she idiotically did?

Irene grunts as she holds her head tighter as she tries hard to remember.

“Think, JooHyun! Think!” Irene scowls to herself, because all she remembers is that they kissed, and everything went black after that.

“Oh my God, did I touch her?” Irene frantically bites a finger, she never did trust herself when she’s drunk.

But she wasn’t that drunk, she argues. Because she still remembers some, even if memories are already vague.

But even if all others are hazy and blurred, she does know one thing, she does remember one thing clearly – so lucid and so unmistakable,

The feel of SeulGi’s lips on hers.

Irene feels herself blushing once more because of the thought, but the warmth quickly fades when she also remembers that today is the last day that SeulGi will be with her.

Irene slumps herself on her bed when the thought sinks in, she doesn’t want to cry anymore. No, not anymore.

So she only closes her eyes.

Only to be pried open again when she hears the door clink.

Her breathing hitches when she sees the source of all her pain and all her happiness,

SeulGi.

SeulGi who’s already offering a soft smile directed towards her. SeulGi who still looks so warm and beautiful and everything Irene had denied to herself.

SeulGi who Irene hopes that is not uncomfortable because of what happened last night, because Irene doesn’t think she can handle it if SeulGi flinches or keeps a distance on their last day together.

SeulGi who Irene prays hard to stay, to at least have the thought of wanting to stay, with Irene.

But Irene quickly casts her eyes down when she sees SeulGi approaching her, and Irene doesn’t know if she’ll get a slap – because she knows she kinds of deserve it – or a smile from the other girl. And Irene hopes it’s the second one.

Though Irene only stiffens when SeulGi sits on her bed to face her as well.

“Good morning, Irene.” She hears SeulGi greet, and Irene tries to analyze the tone on how it was said to her, if it was like how SeulGi used to greet her with or is there that awkward lump on SeulGi’s throat, and it surprises Irene that it’s still the same comfortable way SeulGi had always used.

But that doesn’t mean that it stopped Irene from nervously playing with her fingers than stare at SeulGi, because heck, Irene is the awkward one.

“Hey,” She hears SeulGi say, and Irene holds her breath once more, because she still hears SeulGi say the next words without any trouble, “I brought you breakfast.”

Irene unintentionally looks up and sees SeulGi softly looking back at her, too. The same gentle smile still on SeulGi’s gentle face, and it’s only then that Irene’s able to breathe properly again.

Because it feels as if something’s not off with them, something’s not wrong. That it’s all too comfortable, and Irene thanks the heavens for it.

So Irene mutters a weak, “Th-Thanks.”

But she does clench her hands once more because the cutting thought of SeulGi doing this kinds of things no more for Irene slams onto her brain again.

And so Irene lets her hands form into fists in unexplainable emotions.

So unexplainable that Irene suddenly lets them invade her once more, because Irene suddenly asks – so desperate and so miserable,

“C-Can you please feed me?”

So childish, so very childish, and so very pathetic.

But Irene can’t help it – she just can’t.

And so her whole mood brightens up along with her world when SeulGi smiles a little bit wider when SeulGi says,

“I’d love to.”

---

It isn’t awkward, it isn’t awkward at all. At least not as awkward as what Irene initially thought.

When SeulGi would be unknowingly opening her own mouth as well as she feeds Irene, when it should only be Irene opening to welcome the food. And so Irene would slowly smile as she sees how adorable SeulGi looks without SeulGi knowing she looks adorable like that.

It isn’t also awkward when SeulGi would be wiping the corner-ends of Irene’s lips – like a complete child – when food would be smeared on those parts, but Irene would be shyly looking down because she’d only see SeulGi looking at her lips intently as SeulGi swipes them with a thumb and it sends the memory of their kiss the night before, and Irene would be restraining herself from pulling SeulGi closer once more.

It sure isn’t as awkward when Irene would be the one getting the food and feeding it to SeulGi, in which SeulGi would be momentarily dazed but would soon agree and open to take a bite as well.

And they continue like that as they eat in silence and in smiles and in stolen glances of each other,

It isn’t as all awkward at all. It’s rather comfortable.

And Irene leaves it at that.

---

Though it’s an understatement to say that Irene is wary. For she is as cautious as hell.

Because no one is talking about what happened last night.

Irene wonders if she should open the topic or if she should let SeulGi be the one. She wonders if they do talk about it, might it ruin the already-set mood they have, that it might break the already-well atmosphere around her and SeulGi, and Irene doesn’t like to risk that.

Not when SeulGi doesn’t seem to want to talk about it as well, and Irene is left wondering if they’ll ever discuss it before SeulGi leaves or if they’ll even talk about it ever.

So Irene shuts about their kiss.

She decides that she’ll just spend this day – the remaining time – in comfort with SeulGi.

---

“What time would you leave?”

The question slips from Irene’s mouth and Irene hurriedly prays that it doesn’t ruin the mood.

SeulGi looks at her, Irene looks at the ground.

“I…” SeulGi trails off, “I’ll be leaving this afternoon.”

Irene shuts her eyes tight as she slowly nods. It seems SeulGi didn’t even have second thoughts of staying.

“W-Would you be alright here?” SeulGi continues.

No.

“… Yes,” Irene continues to look down, “Mom mentioned Mr. Kim’s wife and daughter would accompany me,” Irene gulps first, and it hurts with how dry has become. She says the next words almost as a whisper, “In… replacement of you.”

Irene tries not to wince as she finally looks at SeulGi who she finds still looking at her. And Irene can’t seem to understand what’s inside SeulGi’s eyes – if SeulGi’s happy, or sad, or as regretful as Irene is.

“Is that so?” SeulG nods, “Okay. That… That’s good. You won’t be alone.” SeulGi ends it with a smile.

And Irene tries her hardest not to tackle SeulGi into a hug.

Silence comes after that.

Only to be broken by Irene’s question, “W-Will you stay with me until then?”

SeulGi quickly looks at her and Irene wonders if her question is too bland or too upfront and so Irene quickly rephrases it, “I-I mean, w-will you stay with me until the afternoon? B-Before you leave, that is.”

SeulGi continues to stare at her and Irene fights the urge to melt under SeulGi’s stares.

SeulGi clears before answering, “I-I will. D-Do you want to go somewhere?”

Irene also fights the blush on her cheeks, “D-Do you want to?”

“If… If you want to.” SeulGi replies, and Irene fools herself to believing that SeulGi’s also blushing, “But we can stay at home, too, i-if that’s what you want.”

And the blush wins over Irene as she honestly says, “I don’t care where… As long as I’m with you.”

And Irene sees the blush winning over SeulGi as well when SeulGi keeps silent for a moment – head low – and Irene likes to believe that SeulGi is smiling as SeulGi answers,

“Okay.”

---

Irene decides for them to just stay at home, she’d rather cherish their moment alone – just the two of them – rather than spend it with the whole of the city.

Or maybe to fill this house – soon-to-be, since SeulGi will take it being a ‘home’ when she leaves later – with memories of SeulGi, as if the memories from SeulGi’s first day there up to the last aren’t enough.

So Irene decides to spend the day at their abode, with her openly staring at SeulGi as the latter washes the dishes, and with the same latter glancing over a shoulder time-to-time to stare at Irene as well.

And Irene knows that SeulGi tries to do it in secret, staring at Irene, – maybe hoping that Irene isn’t looking back – but ends up failing miserably because Irene’s already staring back at her. So SeulGi ends up with hastily turning her head to the dishes she’s supposed to be washing – and with a stiff back with that – maybe also hoping that Irene doesn’t with it.

So Irene’s left there to form a smile on her lips as she continues to openly stare at SeulGi. Temporarily pushing aside the thoughts of SeulGi leaving.

---

Irene then drags SeulGi to the living room to watch some movies.

“Please, not anything sappy.” Irene whines as SeulGi runs through the set of films that they have.

“How will I know if it’s sappy or not? I don’t know all these movies.” SeulGi continues to rummage through the CDs, “Hey, how about we watch cartoons? Action films? Comedy? What do you want?”

“How about ‘The Notebook’?” Irene enthusiastically suggests.

“We’ve watched that a thousand times already, Irene.” SeulGi sighs as she keeps on flipping cases and covers.

“And I want to watch it a thousand more!”

She hears SeulGi exaggeratedly groan, as to tease Irene, earning SeulGi a throw pillow at her face.

“All right, let’s watch it for the millionth time.” SeulGi rolls her eyes as Irene pulls her to sit on the couch already.

“Where’s the popcorn?” Irene asks.

“Still in the kitchen.”

“Get it.” Irene playfully slaps SeulGi’s arm.

“Ow! Okay! No need to be violent, you child.” SeulGi evades the assault as she laughs.

Irene laughs along as she follows SeulGi with her eyes,

Irene calls out to SeulGi – and still with a smile, “Drag your sorry back here when you’re done!”

And that smile continues to grow because SeulGi has to tease back,

“Will do, Princess! Will do!”

---

They’re a quarter of the movie and already halfway their third refill of popcorn when Irene decides to not watch the movie anymore and just silently watch SeulGi instead.

SeulGi whose eyes are glued to the screen, as if they haven’t watched this for – and SeulGi’s correct – a thousand times already. As if SeulGi’s still anticipating what will happen next.

Irene bites down a smile when she sees how SeulGi concentrates on watching as SeulGi slowly eats popcorn.

And Irene continues to bite her lip down as SeulGi slowly turns – but eyes still on the movie before finally landing on Irene – as SeulGi asks, “What?”

Irene bashfully smiles as she shrugs and frankly replies, “Nothing.”

They continue to stare at each other until Irene notices the sly smile forming on SeulGi’s lips already, and Irene knows that smirk alright – that smirk that would tease Irene if SeulGi’s that attractive – so Irene is quick to say, “No.”

And SeulGi laughs and Irene laughs until the film’s forgotten for a minute.

SeulGi goes back to watching the movie when Irene starts to feel the same sour feeling biting at her, the same feeling of losing SeulGi.

So Irene throws away any shame she still has and decides to act on impulse.

She scoots closer to SeulGi and lifts SeulGi’s arm to wrap around her shoulders – as if to cuddle with SeulGi, because Irene admits she’s desperate.

How shameful, she thinks.

She carefully locks her fingers with SeulGi’s own – the one that is over Irene’s shoulder – and she doesn’t care if SeulGi would pull away because Irene’s determined to pull SeulGi right back if SeulGi even thinks of doing so.

And Irene feels SeulGi immediately stiffen by the sudden contact – by Irene’s sudden actions – but also quick to relax, as if surrendering to the feeling and letting it take over.

“Great, now how am I going to eat popcorn like this?” SeulGi turns to Irene but Irene sees how cautious SeulGi is with how she turns – considering the proximity they have as of the moment.

Irene stares at SeulGi for a little bit more, eyes tracing SeulGi’s features and Irene resists the urge to laugh when she sees how SeulGi tried to swallow.

Irene breaks their eye contact when she reaches for the said snack with her free hand – not in any way letting go of SeulGi’s hand currently locked with her other hand – as she puts the bowl on SeulGi’s lap.

“There, feed me.” Irene says as she moves their intertwined fingers – SeulGi’s arm still closely wrapped around her – closer to her chest.

She sees the sudden confusion in SeulGi’s eyes but SeulGi does get one piece and ushers it towards Irene’s mouth.

And just when Irene does open was SeulGi quick to eat the said popcorn piece. SeulGi’s grin already present on her face.

Irene scoffs as she sees SeulGi starting to laugh. Irene then playfully slaps a cheek, startling SeulGi for a second, and it’s Irene’s turn to giggle. But SeulGi then scoffs laughter as well as she playfully slaps Irene back.

Transferring the bewilderment on Irene’s face and the giggle on SeulGi’s lips.

“Oh, now you’re fighting back?” Irene jokingly threatens.

“You started it.” SeulGi points a finger to stop Irene with whatever Irene is planning to do next as revenge.

And Irene only slaps SeulGi by the stomach as she lets their giggle win over.

It’s all good, Irene thinks. Better, if she dare says.

All good that Irene takes things to a step higher when she clutches SeulGi by the side as she snuggles closer. Closer in a sense that she can feel the skin of SeulGi’s neck on the tip of her nose and all she could inhale is SeulGi.

Closer in a sense that she has to shut her eyes tight as to feel more of SeulGi, and it still is comfortable because SeulGi actually lets her. Because Irene then feels SeulGi lean towards her as to welcome her, and it’s all better, Irene thinks.

Definitely better.

---

“I’ll cook lunch.” Irene pats SeulGi’s lap before standing up as notice when they decided to stop watching the movie and just – as much as Irene’s embarrassed to admit it – cuddle instead.

“What?” Irene hears SeulGi ask – an exaggerated tone on how she asked it, “You’ll cook?”

Irene ties her hair as she turns around to face SeulGi still rooted on the couch.

“Do you have problems with that, Kang?” Irene crosses her arms as to intimidate SeulGi but she knows that the smile on her lips is already betraying her.

SeulGi stands up and Irene feels the blonde put a hand on her forehead before teasing, “Are you sick, Irene Bae?”

“Then don’t eat.” Irene slaps SeulGi’s hand away before making her way towards the kitchen.

“Oh, come on, I was just playing with you.” SeulGi follows suit, amusement still present on her voice, and Irene thinks SeulGi’s enjoying this way too much.

Irene doesn’t want it any other way.

---

“Taste this one.” Irene blows on the ladle first before directing it to SeulGi.

SeulGi does what she’s told before Irene asks, “Does it need more salt?”

“It’s okay.” SeulGi nods before turning back to cutting more vegetables, “It’s already good.”

Irene nods as she takes one last taste and goes back to stirring.