Chapter 26

Irene seems to lose control of , for she suddenly can’t seem to close it.

Maybe from shock, or from anger, or from any other feeling that is not happiness, or delight, or joy.

Because SeulGi just has to say that she likes Henry.

“But I’m not sure yet! I just think that I like him.” SeulGi quickly recants what she just uttered as she frantically shakes her hands in front as to erase the words she said.

“… Shut up.” Irene mutters too soft that SeulGi wasn’t able to hear it the first time.

So SeulGi only continues to be a blabbering mess, “I-I just think, okay, Irene? I’m not really su–”

“I said ‘Shut up’!!!” Irene screams and it does shut SeulGi up. With the mix of fear and hurt canvassed on SeulGi’s face when she does.

And Irene feels the familiar pang stike her chest once more – that heavy feeling whenever she sees SeulGi hurt, more so when it’s because of her.

“Is it because of his stupid pick-up lines?” Irene shuts her eyes as she clenches some of her hair on top of her head out of frustration, “Is it because of how touchy he gets? Is it because of what he says? What he does to you?”

Irene hurls each question and she doesn’t know why it sounds so sour when they come out of . Harsh in a way that it shouldn’t – especially when it’s not as bitter as she thinks when the questions are in her mind.

 She takes a lungful of air first before trying her best to look at SeulGi, and her breath tangles in with how SeulGi continues to look at her.

Because now SeulGi looks at her with pity.

“Get out.” Irene exhales, she feels dizzy, “Just… Just get out and leave me alone.”

She decides to rid of the confusion they both have by adding, “You never listen to what I say, you never take my reminders about him. Get out of my room.”

Irene continues to shut her eyes tight when she hears the door closing. It was only then that she opens them again and she feels how hot her eyes had become – like fire was set into them, though it was smooth liquid threatening to break out.

And she’s quick to dismiss the tears she knows are swelling up, because she doesn’t cry. Why would she? Why would she even?

But the thought of SeulGi, being with Henry, is enough for her to feel that same warmth in her eyes, and the same twinge in her heart.

---

Irene stares at her ceiling as she lies on her bed. After the exchange of words with SeulGi, she was not able to think of words anymore.

Her mind is blank, her eyes – she knows – are dull, and her heart – she doesn’t want to admit – is somehow empty.

She lazily raises a hand towards the lightbulb on her ceiling, as if she can reach it. She closes her eyes as she exhales, trying to keep her mind at ease.

But her little meditation is ruined when her phone rings and she sees the caller I.D. of the person. She scoffs as it’s the same person whose been pestering her unknowingly the past few days.

Henry.

Her own cousin.

How can she hate him this much?

She thinks it rude if she doesn’t answer, so even with all her guts telling her – begging her – not to answer, she still does,

“What?” She spits the word.

“… Hey, JooHyun Noona,” She hears Henry say softly from the other side – and Irene instantly stiffens because she knows that this is something serious.

With how he addressed her by her real name and with how he said it, Irene knows that Henry is… nervous.

“What is it?” Irene repeats more gently now, “Is everything okay?”

Maybe she doesn’t hate him that much, maybe when he’s just all over SeulGi, and that’s when Irene loses it.

“Noona… I-I want to talk about something.” Henry trails off, “Would you mind if I go over there now?”

“If you’re pulling a prank just to see SeulGi in her bed clothes, then I won’t allow you.” Irene says without a second to spare.

“No, no!” Henry is also quick to defend himself, “I actually don’t want SeulGi to know I’ll go over there. Just… Noona, please? I really, really need your advice.”

Irene doesn’t know that she can stiffen so much more after that, because she already has a hunch with what this will all be about.

But she can’t just say ‘no’ to her cousin, not when he’s this desperate.

“Fine.” Irene sighs, “Just call me again if you’re already here.”

“Yes! Thank you, JooHyun Noona! Please don’t tell SeulGi!”

Irene bites her lip first, because she knows she won’t like where this will go,

“… Sure.”

---

“Okay, spill it out.” Irene crosses her arms the moment Henry settles on the couch.

“Okay,” Henry momentarily closes his eyes as he exhales, “Junnie, please don’t laugh on what I’m about to say, okay?”

“As long as it’s not funny.” Irene shrugs.

“Noona.” Henry pleads.

“Fine!”

“Okay!” Henry rubs his hands together, indicating that he really is nervous, “Noona,” He stares at Irene first, “I’ll… I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

Irene scrunches her eyebrows, unsure of where the laughing matter is in there, or unsure of what she has to reply to that – because she knows she’s too happy to know that.

“And?” Irene probes him to continue.

And that’s when all the muscles and nerves in Irene start contrcting again,

Because Henry finally says why he’s in Irene’s house the first place,

“I’m planning to confess to SeulGi.”

---

“Don’t laugh, Noona!” Henry covers his face in embarrassment.

And even when he says it to Irene, Irene not even once laughed after what he said. If possible, she’s become mute.

“A-Are you serious?” Irene manages to say the least.

“Y-Yes, Noona.” Henry bites his lip as he continues to hang his head low, “And I know what you’ll say, that I’ll treat SeulGi like the others, that I’ll just play with her and toss her like she meant nothing, but Noona!” He looks up at Irene, “For the first time in a long time,” And he says it so seriously, Irene has to clench her hands, “I’m serious about her.”

Irene can only stand there, not knowing what to say anymore. Because she herself is unsure of what to say – of what to feel about it.

When she knows she should be supporting Henry since he’s finally having a change of heart – the change she so badly wanted for him to have, but she can’t seem to like the idea that Henry’s having it because of SeulGi.

SeulGi who had been acquainted with her far too long than Henry had been with SeulGi.

SeulGi who had been with Irene these past months that Irene can’t picture with anyone else but her, and her alone.

SeulGi who had been giving Irene these feelings of mixed emotions Irene doesn’t even know she could feel.

“I…” Irene manages to start, “I don’t know what to say.” And she honestly doesn’t.

She hears her cousin sigh – maybe out of frustration.

“Noona, do know that I came here not to ask for your permission,” He starts to smile, “But to let you know that I am planning to go after SeulGi,” Now he just starts laughing weakly, “Because I know how irrelevantly possessive and crazy you get over her.

“I mean, seriously, Noona,” He shrugs, “I don’t blame you for being all over her, but I think it’s too much, don’t you think?”

“Wh-Why do you care? She’s…” Mine? Irene shakes the word off, “She’s… She’s…”

Henry waits for her to finish her sentence, but Irene can’t seem to find the right word for it, so she just says,

“Damn you, Henry.”

Which makes Henry laugh, “Oh, Junnie. What will I ever do?

“You see, I already have plans on how to confess,” Henry says enthusiastically, but Irene can’t seem to return the same enthusiasm he has, “Would a dinner date seem too formal? Or should I just say it to her while I walk her home? Or should I bring her to somewhere quiet and just blurt out that I like her?

“Or maybe I give her a bouquet and kneel and confess? Or is that too cheesy?” He continues, not minding if Irene still follows or not, “What do you think, Junnie?”

Irene snaps out of her thoughts – her thoughts blanked and vacant from all the things she does not want to hear,

“I-I don’t know.” She puts it off with a shrug instead, “Whatever suits your fancy.”

“But everything is my fancy!” Henry sighs as he opens his arms open in defeat, “I just… I just really, really like SeulGi.”

“Really? That much, Henry?” Irene decides to sit beside her desperate cousin.

“Yes, Noona,” He stares straight to her eyes, “That much.”

Irene can’t help but let the bother inside her take over her being as she completely – and she doesn’t know why – understands Henry’s extreme liking towards SeulGi.

Because SeulGi makes her feel the same things.

But Irene convinces herself that it’s not liking she feels. No, it’s nowhere near that. It’s possessiveness – fondness, she presses – that she has for the other girl.

When she’s far too accustomed to the other’s presence that she’s developed this kind of selfishness towards SeulGi.

Because SeulGi is supposed to be hers – because SeulGi is hers.

Right?

But that thought reaches a full stop when Henry starts speaking again, “JooHyun Noona,”

And Irene can only look back at him as he continues to stop her thoughts – her thoughts of SeulGi being hers – because Henry says, so nervous and yet so patient,

“Will you please help me?”

---

Irene never thought that mornings with SeulGi can be so awkward – not with how one of them doesn’t plan on breaking the ice between them.

Irene thinks SeulGi doesn’t like to speak because of how Irene shouted at her last night.

Irene doesn’t like to speak – afraid that she’d sell Henry too high to SeulGi and SeulGi would finally realize that she really likes Henry.

But Irene remembers how she agrees – much to her heart’s disagreement – to help Henry win SeulGi over tonight.

At dinner. When he takes SeulGi out for the last time before he leaves tomorrow.

When he finally confesses his feelings to SeulGi.

When he finally says the things Irene can never say to SeulGi.

What am I even thinking?

And so she pushes the thoughts aside by shattering the eerie silence between SeulGi and her, “So, Henry…” How hard it was to mention her cousin’s name now, “Y-You say you like him?”

Irene clears because, did she stutter just now?

SeulGi is quick to look back at her, but the former looks back at the ground just as fast, “I-I said I think I like him. I-I didn’t say I really like him.”

Irene doesn’t understand why that suddenly made a jolt of happiness run through her, but then she remembers her promise to Henry, “But… But he’s a good guy.”

She tries not to vomit after what she said.

SeulGi looks at her with confusion, Irene knows it’s confusion because she knows that SeulGi knows that she’s usually bashing on her cousin instead of glorifying him.

“I-I know.” SeulGi replies quietly.

“He’ll be leaving tomorrow.” Irene says as she walks by the taller girl – her hands fisted and lips bitten. She gathers all her strength and all her will to say to SeulGi, and to say it as firm and as convincing, not in any way looking at the other – afraid that she won’t be able to say it,

“You might as well say your feelings to him.”

And Irene tries not to sound as brackish so she continues to walk, only to be stopped when she hears SeulGi ask, a question Irene herself can’t answer,

“Do you want me to?”

Irene quickly turns back to SeulGi, and Irene sees the same hesitation in SeulGi’s eyes that mirrors what is in hers.

Her chest only tightens – with the question and with the way SeulGi looks so… so sad at her.

“If… If that’s what you want.” Irene averts her gaze.

Only for the question to be thrown back at her,

“Is that what you want?”

No. I don’t want you to be with him.

Irene gulps.

What are these thoughts?

Irene shakes her head, “Wh-Why are you asking me? You’re weird.

“Do whatever makes you happy.” Irene finishes as she bites her lip.

And SeulGi doesn’t reply anymore, Irene only sees SeulGi nod slowly.

So Irene only bites her lip harder.

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