Chapter 20

Se Hun was staring at me with softened eyes. It felt like we were staring at each other for a long time and because he didn’t avert his eyes from mine. I had to. I looked away and down at the ground, hoping to distract myself as much as I could. Why the hell was he here when Jung Ah was supposed to be? Did she happen to let him know that I was here and this is why we were like this right now? But I mean, this stupid gangster kid always knew where I was anyway, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he found me here on his own.

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.” I muttered with frustration, my lips trembling.

“I thought my fiancé would like it if I were here.” He exaggerated the word fiancé, causing me to look up at him. He was enjoying my reaction and I hated it.

I opened my mouth to retort on his words, but Kang Hee walked back into the room waving at the two of us with a happy smile.

“I have never felt so happy about seeing another bride’s soon-to-be husband!” Kang Hee clasped her hands together in excitement as she stared over at Se Hun. “Your fiancé is handsome, Soo Jin.”

“No, no, Kang Hee, I think you’re mistaken –” I shook my head.

“My fiancé is shy. She never really talks about me unless she’s frustrated about something.” Se Hun said, cutting me off.

“Yeah, she seems really surprised that you’re here.” Kang Hee chuckled, looking at Se Hun as if she’s never seen someone so handsome before. “Do you model?”

I literally smacked my forehead with my hand. Why was Kang Hee asking these questions at a time like this? I couldn’t even tell her that this stupid gangster wasn’t my fiancé because from the way she’s looking at him, she would jump onto him if I told her that he was nowhere close to marrying me.

“Model? Oh no, I don’t do anything like that.” Se Hun shook his head, smiling.

“You’re very handsome. By the way, I didn’t catch your name.” Kang Hee extended her hand out towards Se Hun. “I’m Kang Hee.”

“Se Hun, but I’m sorry. I don’t touch other women’s hands unless it’s my fiancé.” Se Hun looked over at me with a smirk and I was sure Kang Hee was now blushing.

“Oh my, Soo Jin, you have such a sweet and loving fiancé. I’m quite jealous.” Kang Hee said.

And I’m sure she was actually jealous because now she wouldn’t stop staring at him.

 “Uh, Kang Hee, can you please give us a minute?” I asked, narrowing my eyes over at him, but he only smirked at me, irritating me even more.

“Oh, of course! I know you missed him a lot.” Kang Hee gestured her and the lady to walk out together.

Se Hun and I were now standing there together awkwardly. Why out of all places and people did it have to be Se Hun and me in a wedding dress?

“What are you doing here?” I asked crossing my arms, frustrated. “Didn’t I just tell you yesterday that I didn’t want to see you anymore or that we should stop crossing paths? Did you not understand anything I said?”

“Yeah, I did understand everything that you said, but don’t you think you’re the one not doing what I should be doing?” Se Hun’s sudden change in his tone threw me off, as if he was a whole new person. I wasn’t expecting it.

“What the hell? If you understand then why are you standing here right now in front of me?” I asked quietly.

“I came here for two things.” Se Hun said as he held my phone out to me suddenly.

I grabbed it quickly in relief. “Goodness sakes… I’ve been wondering where the hell my phone went.”

“Yeah, maybe if you gave me a chance to talk you would have known that I still had your freaking phone in my room!” Se Hun groaned like a child.

“Right, cos’ everything else went pretty well.” I glared at him, referring to how our conversation actually went. “What’s the other reason why you’re here?”

“Why are you telling me to stay away from you when you keep surrounding yourself with people who surround their selves around me?” Se Hun raised both eyebrows this time. He tapped his chin, annoying me. “And please, explain to me why you thought it was such a good idea to visit Lu Han and Xiu Min even after we talked.”

“Lu Han told you that I visited them?” I asked. I was going to have to go beat up Lu Han now for saying a word.

“No, I saw you there.” He said sternly.

Of course, Se Hun knew where I was at every freaking moment.

“I don’t know what he said to you because I didn’t ask, but I saw you heading towards the hospital where Jin Guk was and followed you there.” Se Hun was on to me. He’s known what I’ve been doing this whole day so maybe Jung Ah wasn’t setting me up. “What the hell were you doing at the hospital?!”

“Why are you raising your voice at me like I’ve done something wrong?” I asked offended only because I was startled by his voice.

“Because you told me to stay out of your way and to never see you again, but you’re getting involved with my personal matters!” Se Hun yelled back angrily. “Do you realize what an idiot you are, Soo Jin? You can’t tell me to stay out of your life, but you can somehow always step into mine whenever you ing feel like it!”

His words stung even more than Lu Han’s today.

“I wasn’t trying to get involved in your life, Se Hun! I was just curious!” I yelled back, my eyebrows furrowing. “Lu Han told me about Jin Guk, okay? I wasn’t going there for you. I went there because I was worried. I didn’t know Jin Guk was sick and yet, you thought it was a good ing idea to take him out in the rain that day!”

“I didn’t know it was supposed to rain. It was an accident and uncalled for.” Se Hun narrowed his eyes at me now. “And don’t pull this on me. Don’t worry about what I do with Jin Guk!”

“You’re not even his dad…” I whispered suddenly. “Why… Why didn’t you even explain yourself that day when you saw me acting like that the other day?”

“How were you acting, Soo Jin? You act like you’re confused all the time and it was raining that day. I didn’t have time to explain myself and what do I have to explain?” Se Hun shook his head, looking up like he couldn’t even believe the words I was saying. “But what am I even saying? You never let me explain myself. You’re always just assuming!”

“Assuming? Sorry that I was being a ing baby about it and cried because I thought you had a child who has to at least be four years old so that would mean you have cheated on me and that’s why we broke up!” My voice was now raised again. “Who knew I could still feel heart-broken after something happened years ago?!”

“No one cheated on you, for goodness sakes, Soo Jin! Are you a ing idiot or what?” Se Hun ran a hand through his hair frustrated and I couldn’t help myself, but my heart palpated against my rib cage rapidly with just one move. “Jin Guk’s not even my child!”

“Yeah, I know that now!” I scoffed. “Lu Han didn’t even tell me even when he knew I was assuming you were. I went to the hospital and one of the nurses told me.”

“Who?” He glared at me.

“I don’t know really remember. Her name was Seung Hee or something. Jin Guk called her by that name.” I rolled my eyes remembering that annoying nurse. I was getting even more heated just thinking about her.

Se Hun scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t go yelling at her if that’s what you’re thinking. She already got upset that I came to visit without signing in, but Jin Guk convinced her not to say anything.” I let my arms fall down to my sides. “But honestly, Se Hun, why didn’t you –”

“You cried?” He cut me off before gazing in my eyes.

“W-what?” I looked at him confused.

“You cried… Because you thought I cheated on you and had a child?” Se Hun asked again, still staring at me.

“If you all knew, why didn’t any of you guys say anything?” I rolled my eyes. “Even Jung Ah didn’t say anything when I was crying about it.”

“How could you think I’ve cheated on you?” Se Hun scoffed. “Are you an idiot?”

“Stop calling me that, you stupid gangster!” I snarled back.

“Then why do you keep calling me that?!” He shook his head, letting out a small laugh, causing my heart to flutter even more. “Soo Jin, you idiot.”

“Stop.” I said sternly.

“I would never cheat on you.” His voice was calming now and the way he said those words made my heart at ease, making me wonder if they were true even if deep down, they might not have been. “You know how much I loved you? If I ever did anything like that to hurt you, I… I would hate myself.”

I only stared at him, unable to really say anything else.

“Breaking up with you was a mistake, okay? If I cheated and broke up with you, I would have told you that, but why would I cheat on someone who was so good to me? Someone who loved me for who I was and always took care of my needs and wants…? Don’t you think it’d be stupid of a man to do so?” He took a step towards me. His gaze never left me. “And I’ve been cheated on, so it wouldn’t make sense if I could get upset about something like that but do the same back to another person. I already told you yesterday that I loved you and right now, I’m going to say it again. I still love you.”

“Then why did you break up with me if you loved me so much, Se Hun? It’s impossible for someone to say that they broke up with another just because they loved them.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t make sense.”

“Are you really going to let me talk this time or are you going to interrupt me and just assume everything?” He asked, pursing his lips.

I looked down at my hands, which seemed impatient. “I-I won’t say anything. I’ll let you talk.”

“Do you remember that scholarship you got for that university in Canada? You said you were excited and nervous at the same time, saying you really wanted to go there because it’d help you when you’d become a teacher.” The corners of Se Hun’s lips curled up into a warm smile. “I was so happy for you. I wanted you to take it, but after weeks and weeks of contemplating on what you wanted to do, you decided that you didn’t want to take it. You said that you wanted to stay here because I was here.”

“That’s because I wanted to be with you, Se Hun…” I whispered, but I knew he heard it because he was now smiling even more.

“I know you did, Soo Jin. I know you wanted to stay with me, but I felt like I was holding you back. All the other colleges that accepted you weren’t even as good as the one that you’ve applied for in Canada, but you stayed for me and I didn’t want you to.” Se Hun sighed, placing his hands onto his hips. “I tried to convince you to go, but you still said no and that you’ll make a living here with me, but it was stressful seeing how much hard work you were going through in order to find a decent place for you here. It was frustrating.”

“So you broke up with me?” I scoffed.

“I felt like a burden to you, Soo Jin. Why should I be holding you back?” Se Hun looked down at his feet. “I didn’t even know what I was going to do with myself. How bothersome…”

“You weren’t holding me back though. I made the choice to stay because I wanted to be with you. Nothing else mattered, Se Hun.” I could feel tears forming. “If I could be with you, that’s all that mattered to me. You made me happy even if it was just your presence. Just being next to you, feeling your warmth next to me was enough to make me feel secure.”

“But even when I broke up with you… look at how quick you were to decide that you wanted to leave to Canada.” Se Hun looked up at the ceiling. I could see them glistening. “I was so happy that you finally decided to go and so I told myself to wait until you’d come back, but it took so long and when you finally did…” He looked back at me and I could see that his eyes were wet. “You were getting married to another man.”

“But you broke up with me.” I mumbled as the tears streamed down my cheeks. “Se Hun, I thought it was over between us…”

“All because I wanted you to go to the school you’ve wanted to go to…” Se Hun looked down again and the second he did, I could see a tear drop down. “I should’ve found another method, anything, but in a way, I was glad that a breakup could make you go as far as leaving off to school in Canada… But how could you forget me so easily?”

“Forget you, Se Hun? How could I ever forget you?” I nearly scoffed, feeling the cries choking me. “It felt like you were the one who had forgotten me.”

“I would never forget you, Soo Jin.” Se Hun shook his head. “If I ever stopped loving you… I’m sorry. That wouldn’t even be possible. Because even now, I’m still in love with you...”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me when I moved to Canada? Why couldn’t you just tell me that you broke up with me because of that reason and not because you’ve cheated on me…?” My face was hot with tears now. “Why did you make me believe that you no longer cared or loved me or that I was cheated on?”

“Would you have come back?” He asked.

“Of course I would have.” I replied.

“That’s why… I couldn’t let that happen…” He sighed, walking up to me and cupping my face with his hands. “You’re so easily moved, that I knew you’d come back so I kept quiet.”

I cried, thinking about the hard times I went through in Canada. Throughout these five years, I thought he broke up with me because he cheated on me, but he broke up with me because he wanted me to go to the school I’ve always dreamt of. To think that he was selfish… I was the one being selfish, but I’ve come so far.

“I still love you so much, Ahn Soo Jin…” Se Hun whispered as he wiped away my tears as I let him pull me into a hug that I’ve missed so much.

Author's Note:  Happy Holidays and I hope everyone has a safe and fun New Year's! Make good choices! Thank you for the constant support even with the of lack updates. You are all appreciated and loved. <3