Chapter 18

The doors slid open multiple times, but I couldn’t get myself to step through the doors. Was it even right for me to be here right now? From how Lu Han was acting, it seemed like he really didn’t want me to know, but he told me anyway. I took a deep breath, running my fingers through my hair frustrated. Maybe I should go back. It just didn’t feel right being here, but in some way, I wanted to see Jin Guk.

 “Mam, are you okay?”

I jumped at the voice, almost forgetting that I was still standing in front of the sliding doors. I turned my attention to the person, only to see a nurse standing there looking at me worriedly. I bit my lip in embarrassment before I felt my legs moving, making way into the building. Somehow, my heart was getting heavier along with every step that I took. I hated it. I shouldn’t have been feeling this way.

“Excuse me,” I said as soon as I got to the front desk. My hands were shaking so I stuffed them into my coat pockets. “I-Is there an Oh Jin Guk here?”

“Oh Jin Guk?” The nurse pursed her lips before turning her gaze over to the computer in front of her. “I don’t believe we have an Oh Jin Guk…”

I raised an eyebrow. I was sure this was the hospital that Lu Han had said. “A-are you sure? My friend told me that Jin Guk was hospitalized here.”

“Ahhhh, I’m so sorry! I totally forgot.” The nurse chuckled before standing up and pointing in the direction where I was supposed to go. “I’m sure you meant Jo Jin Guk! If you go down that way, there are elevators to your right. You’ll just have to take the elevator up to the fourth floor and he’ll be in room 411.”

“J-Jo Jin Guk?” I questioned as I started walking away.

“Ah, yeah.” The nurse bowed before I disappeared down the hallway.

As I waited inside the elevator, I wondered why she said Jo Jin Guk. I was sure Jin Guk told me his name was Oh Jin Guk or maybe was it because I heard it wrong? Was it even possible for him to forget his own last name? I’m sure getting dialysis treatment doesn’t bother with memory… Or maybe I just don’t know much about kidney treatments… Ahhh, I think I’m going crazy… I pinched the bridge of my nose just as the doors opened.

Walking down the hallway, I found room 411. The door was opened probably only a couple of inches, but it seemed a little too quiet inside. Maybe Jin Guk was alone. I knocked on the door and opened the door slightly before making my way around the curtain. Jin Guk was sitting on the bed reading a children’s book quietly, but when we met eyes, the corners of his lips turned into a big smile, warming my heart.

“Hello, Jin Guk!” I said cutely as I made my way over.

“Oh? Pretty Noona!” Jin Guk threw his book to the side and sat up with raised arms.

I didn’t know if he was asking for a hug or what he wanted, but I walked over and sat on his bed before wrapping my arms around his fragile body, letting him sink into my chest. He snuggled up against me and let out a small, cute laugh. I pulled away from him and touched his cheek slightly, admiring his cute smile that seemed to never fade away even after crying when I first met him on the streets.

“What are you doing here?” Jin Guk asked tilting his head to the side. “Appa didn’t say anyone was going to come visit me…”

“Ah, I didn’t let him know…” I said feeling guilty all of a sudden. “I-I wanted to surprise you and since your dad isn’t good at keeping secrets, I kept it from him.”

Jin Guk laughed adorably. “Ah, yeah, Appa is really bad at keeping secrets.”

“I’m sorry I came empty handed…” I said feeling bad upon seeing his room only filled with a few balloons but no flowers or anything edible. “I wanted to bring you ice cream or other candy filled goodies, but I wanted to make sure your health was okay first.”

“It’s okay, Noona.” He grabbed my hands and played with my fingers. “Appa always makes sure to treat me to something good once a week. It’s his promise to me.”

I looked down at his little frail fingers, which constantly rubbed against my skin. “Jin Guk, how is your dad?”

“Ah, Appa is always smiling.”Jin Guk bit his lip excitedly, but I found myself scoffing. Se Hun always smiling…? What a joke… “He always tells me stories about a pretty girl he fell in love with. Noona, your name is similar to the girl he said he was in love with, but when I told Appa, he said it wasn’t you and that the girl was a lot prettier than you.” He sighed dramatically, but I couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was. “Noona, you’re very pretty. I don’t know how much prettier someone can be if she was prettier than you.”

“You’re going to steal hearts of girls one day, Jin Guk.” I pinched his cheek lightly before patting his back. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, but watching made my heart flutter in admiration. How could he be so cute? “Thank you, Jin Guk!”

“Noona, do you think I’ll live to steal girls’ hearts?” He looked up at me with puppy eyes, but his question made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach.

Jin Guk was only four, but he was already having bad thoughts like this. I didn’t know how serious his kidney problems were, so it was hard. The last time I dealt with someone like this was Se Hun’s grandpa, but it was so different. One was so young and yet, the other one was a lot older, but they had the same mind, the same thoughts. I took a deep breath and squeezed his hands in mine.

“Of course, Jin Guk. Why would you ask such a question?” I tried to let out a laugh, but I knew it was forced. “You’re already stealing my heart.”

“Noona, has my Appa ever stolen your heart?”

I nearly choked. “W-what?”

“Do you think my Appa is handsome? I remembered your look when you saw him.” Jin Guk laughed. “Noona, you looked very surprised.”

This little boy knew how to talk. Not only has Se Hun stolen my heart a billion times, but I was more than surprised to see that Jin Guk’s dad happened to be freaking Se Hun. How could I not be surprised and the hell could I not fall in love with that stupid gangster? He looked like he walked out from a modeling magazine even if he looked like he had just woken up from sleeping. Se Hun was handsome. So… So… Handsome…

“Noona...?” Jin Guk shook me.

“Oh, sorry.” I laughed looking back at him. “Jin Guk, does he visit you a lot?”

“Appa?”

I nodded my head.

“Mmhmm. He visits every night right before my treatments.” Jin Guk turned his attention away from me and looked up at the clock behind me. “He should be here in an hour or even earlier.”

“Ah…” I had to leave before he would get here. I didn’t want him to see me. “Can you promise me something before I leave?”

“Noona, you’re going to leave already?” Jin Guk pouted, tugging my arm. “Please stay longer.”

“I promise you I’ll come back and visit, okay?” I held my pinky finger out and he wrapped his little one around mine, but I held onto it before he could pull back. “But you have to promise me something in return, okay?”

“Okay.” He nodded his head a couple times. “I promise.”

“You have to promise me that you won’t tell Appa that I came to visit, okay?”

“W-why?” His eyes widened.

“Or else I can’t come visit anymore.” I held a finger to my lips. “You have to promise me, okay?”

“Does Appa not like you visiting me?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I just don’t want him to know yet.”

Jin Guk nodded his head once more. “Okay, I promise.”

I reached over and hugged him again before getting up from the bed and heading out the door. Jin Guk waved at me until I was away from his sight. As soon as I got back out, a nurse walked past me, but she grabbed my arm suddenly, startling me in the process.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you just came out from room 411.” The nurse bowed after realizing she was still holding onto my arm. “Did you just visit our Jin Guk?”

“Ah, yeah…” I said awkwardly. “Why? Is there something wrong?”

“We have a policy here that you have to sign your name every time you come visit a patient here, especially Jin Guk.” She looked apologetic, but at the same time, she was serious.

“W-why Jin Guk?” I asked curiously as I followed her to where I was supposed to sign my name.

“Se Hun wants us to do it for protection. I’m surprised no one notified us from the main desk down stairs or that none of the nurses here saw you.” The nurse gave me the clipboard and a pen. “He usually notifies us who’s coming to visit too…”

“Jin Guk’s protection?” I asked as I signed Jung Ah’s name quickly, afraid that Se Hun would find out that I had came here. “M-may I ask why?”

“Are you a friend of Se Hun’s?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah… But he said he would tell me another day…”

“Well, I’m surprised he didn’t tell you the reason yet…” The nurse sighed as she looked around before turning her attention back to me. “Jin Guk’s parents are abusive and have tried to come here and take him away from us, but we’ve been keeping him here to make sure he’s safe and he’s getting the right treatment for his kidneys. We’ve tried restraining orders and whatever we could, but they show up nonetheless.”

“W-wait. What? There is no way!” I said in disbelief. “Se Hun may be abusive in some way, but I’m sure he’s not abusing Jin Guk!!!”

The nurse furrowed her eyebrows. “Oh my, are you referring Se Hun has Jin Guk’s father…?”

“Wait, what?” My mouth fell ajar. I felt even more shocked than before. “W-what do you mean? Se Hun’s Jin Guk’s father, isn’t he?”

“Did you forget that Jin Guk calls Se Hun his Appa because he brought him into the hospital and saved him? Are you really Se Hun’s friend? She quickly looked down at the clipboard before looking back at me. “Lee Jung Ah? You’re not Lee Jung Ah.”

My face suddenly reddened. “Y-yes, I am.”

“I’ve meet Jung Ah before. You’re not her.” The nurse set the clipboard down before crossing her arms. “Who are you?”

“Look, listen to me, you cannot tell Se Hun I was here.” I was starting to panic. How could I forget that Jung Ah could have come here especially if they kept record on who visited Jin Guk?

“Who are you?”

“Please don’t tell him.” I begged with pleading eyes.

“Who are you?!” The nurse said sternly.

“Noona?”

Hearing Jin Guk’s familiar voice, the nurse and I both turned around and saw him standing there with a confused look on his face.

“What are you still doing here?”

“I-I had to sign in.” I noticed that the nurse fixed her posture, making me want to glare at her for acting as if she wasn’t a madwoman just a few seconds ago. “W-what are you doing out here?”

“Jin Guk, you should stay in your room until your dad arrives.” The nurse said bending down so that she was at eye-level with him.

“Seung Hee, I promised Noona I wouldn’t tell Appa that she came to visit me.”Jin Guk looked at the nurse with pleading eyes.

“Why? Appa would be furious.” Seung Hee looked up at me before pouting. “Do you know her?”

Jin Guk nodded. “Yeah, she’s my pretty Noona who saved me the other day.”

Seung Hee sighed, looking like she clearly understood what he was talking about. She patted his head before standing up to look over at me. “I won’t ask for your name today since there must be a reason to why you don’t want Se Hun to know that you’re here, but if you come again, I will tell Se Hun about you coming here.”

I blew out a sigh before bowing to her. I bent down and patted Jin Guk’s cheek, earning a cute smile from him. “Have a good night, Jin Guk. I’ll visit soon again, okay?”

“Thank you, Noona.” Jin Guk waved as I walked towards the elevator.

The moment I got into the elevator, I leaned back against the railing behind me and closed my eyes trying to take everything in.

Jin Guk’s real name was Jo Jin Guk, not Oh Jin Guk. I wasn’t hearing it wrong at all earlier. Jin Guk wasn’t Se Hun’s child, but a child to abusive parents who wanted him back. Se Hun’s not actually a father, but he’s still the caring who always looks after people even if they have no relation to him. And oh, Se Hun said I wasn’t as pretty as the other girl? Okay. That didn’t matter, honestly, but he would get a piece of my mind over that another time…

Overall, the one thing that I had to take in was how much of an idiot I truly was. Jung Ah freaking knew and she didn’t even bother to tell me even when I was being bizarre about it. Everyone knew and yet, I was the only one who didn’t know.

But I didn’t need to know. There was no reason for me to know. I have no relationship with Se Hun anymore so anything that had or has ever happened was not needed to be known by me, but why was I so caught up with it? Why did I listen to Lu Han, who knew that I was curious, and come here? That bastard knew I’d find out the truth and he probably knew that Se Hun wasn’t going to be here yet, so he let me go see even if I didn’t believe him.

I was going to find out whether or not Se Hun was there and Lu Han wanted me to find out.

Author's Note: Wow, I wanted to finish this story by Sehun's birthday, but I guess that won't happen. I'm terribly sorry for taking forever to update when I had told a few that I was going to update soon. My computer had broken down and I was in a mess. All the chapters I wrote were on there and the only thing that ran through my mind was "HOW THE AM I GOING TO RETYPE EVERYTHING?! MY SUBBIES ARE GOING TO KILL ME." Literally. But for some reason, it works again, so I don't have to retype everything. But on another note, I'm super busy now that I have a full-time job and I'm always going out with friends :P I'm sorry if I lack in updates. I really miss writing, so I'm trying hard to make time for this. Kill me. Shoot me. Hate me. Sorry OTL. Have an awesome day/night.