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Chwa Eunae. The last time I saw her had been four months ago.

              There was a loud clatter and I quickly sat up in bed before gasping out loud. I didn't remember falling asleep, but I was relieved to be awakened. I must have knocked out after I came back from class. Glancing around the room from my bed, I saw that my roommate's bed was empty as always. Then as I looked around for the source of the noise, I saw her. Eunae. She was the girl who was my best friend and the one who was supposed to be my roommate. She was standing by the sink with an empty pill bottle in her hands. My empty pill bottle. There was an irritated look on her face as she shook the empty bottle and scowled, "What is this?" I only stared back and kept my lips sealed as I felt guilt seeped into my veins. She stared at me a while longer and then sighed as her expression softened, "Miyoung, you should go get a refill." Her reply had surprised me. I thought that she was going to be mad at me. I didn't expect her to tell me this.

                "No." I blurted out before she put the bottle back down gently while I quickly got out of bed and walked straight to my closet. She turned and crossed her arms while watching me intently, "Stop being so stubborn and just go do it." I only ignored her and pulled on my sweater when she grunted irritably and added, "And wear something else. You already wore that yesterday and the day before." I stopped and glanced down at my comfy sweater before shrugging her off in silence. I wondered how she knew what I had been wearing for the past few days. I wanted to ask her how she could talk to me so easily as if nothing had happened. I wanted to say something. Anything. But my lips wouldn't move. I didn't expect to see her so soon without notice.

                "Someone's going to notice." Eunae pointed out and I in a deep breath to calm my pounding heart. Turning, I looked back at her and held my chin up high, "No one's going to notice. And even if they do, I don't care." Her eyes darkened and I knew that I had pissed her off as I felt another wave of guilt wash over me. Yet, I only turned around to grab my jacket off my chair and my backpack. Why was she lecturing me about such stupid things? We've both already established the fact that I was just a wallflower. I liked observing from afar. She was the one that shined and caught other people's attention. Not me. Eunae watched me put on my jacket and uncrossed her arms, "Miyoung."

                "Stop." I snapped back at her and felt my heart tremble when her eyes widened visibly in surprise. I wanted to apologize. I really did, but I felt the lump forming at my throat and my eyes were starting to get hot. So instead, I pulled on my backpack and walked right pass her to open the door. I shouldn't have, but I glanced over my shoulder after stepping out. I only caught a glimpse of her back that was turned to me. Her shoulders were slumped. My heart squeezed tightly and I quickly yanked the door shut. I heard the lock fall into place automatically and stared at my door for a long moment. Why? Why did I act that way? The questions ran through my head over and over as I exited the hall and took the stairs down to the first level. Why? Why? Why? I hadn't seen her for so long. I should have been nicer. I should have said sorry.

                I pushed open the door to the campus and had only taken a step outside before I realized that I had forgotten my phone. Cursing under my breath, I turned back around to make my way back up the stairs to the fourth level. Each step up felt like another weight was being added to my shoulders and by the time I reached the door to my floor, I already felt worn out. Opening the door to my floor, I stopped in the hall and stared at my door again for a long moment. Would she still be there? I internally debated for another few minutes about rather it was worth a risk or not to go back in. Did I really need my phone? But even as I asked myself that, I knew the answer. Yes. I didn't have a watch and having a phone was always handy in case of emergencies, whether it was calling the cops or pulling out the calculator app for a quick calculation.

                Sighing heavily to myself, I pulled out my keys and inserted it back into the lock. What should I say if she was still there? Turning the key, I heard the door unlock and then pulled down on the handle as I pushed the heavy door open. I held my breath and half hoped that she was still there, but I was only greeted with an empty room. Letting out my breath, I didn't know whether I felt relieved or not as I slowly made my way back to my bed where I had left my phone. Grabbing it, I stuffed it in my pockets and headed back to the door. I was about to open the door when something caught my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was the window lighting that was playing with my eyes or not, so I the light that was above the small sink. The mirror was fogged as if someone had breath on it.

KM

                I stared at the letters that had been scrawled out onto the mirror. KM? What the hell did that stand for? I gazed at it until the letters disappeared, trying to figure out what KM could mean. I think that five minutes may have passed before I realized that I was just wasting my time. It was just stupid letters. They had no meaning and even if they did, I didn't need to care. I shut off the light and then left again.

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I didn't see her again until two days later.

                I was nodding off in the library, but every time I did, fear would strike me. I quickly straightened up in my seat when I almost fell asleep. Luckily, I had caught myself in time. Glancing around, I made sure that no one had notice. No one did. So I sighed lightly in relief and tried to calm my racing heart. It would have been bad if anyone had seen me fall asleep. I wouldn't know what to do. Slumping back into my seat, I made sure not to make myself too comfortable or I might fall asleep again. Pulling my book up, I was about to try and figure out where I had left off when I saw her again.

                Eunae pulled out the chair across the small table from me and sat down calmly with her attention elsewhere. She was wearing the exact same thing that she had always been wearing. It almost felt like nothing had ever happened between us. I swallowed and quickly turned my attention back to the book to pretend that I hadn't notice her, but there was no point. Eunae cleared softly and then commented quietly, "Miyoung, you look like ." I tightened my grip on my book and kept my eyes down. Why did she always do this? She always acted like nothing was wrong. I didn't know whether if I wanted to cry or to throw my book at her. All I knew what how much I hated myself right now because of her.

                "Leave me alone." I muttered back softly.

                "You know that's not what you really want." She didn't miss a single beat and we both knew that she was correct. It had always been this way. Sometimes I really hated her for that ability that she had. She had the voice. She could say whatever I couldn't. She could read me like an open book. I didn't know if I hated her more or myself more. Either way, I hated us both. I wished that we weren't in the situation that we were in now.  I felt my eyes get hot again and I couldn't tell if it was because I was angry or frustrated.

                "You have huge dark circles under your eyes. The make-up isn't helping." She stated in a matters-of-fact tone and I lowered my book down a smudge just to glare at her. I half expected her to have that usual teasing smirk playing on her lips, but I was met with only grimness in her eyes. Eunae stared back at me and I quickly lifted my book back up. Her brown eyes were still bright as always. How that was possibly? I didn't know. She looked the same as she always had been. Her make-up and everything looked as if it had just been applied freshly not too long ago. I felt another lump form in my throat.

                "You haven't been sleeping well." Her tone was much softer than before and I wanted to ask her how she knew, because it was impossible for her to know such things. But then I remembered that I had ugly dark circles and kept my mouth shut. The lump was beginning to get bigger and I could feel my face heating up as my eyes got watery. One moment I hated her and the next, I didn't. This reminded me too much of the truth and I didn't want to face it any more.

                "You're having those nightmares again." Eunae pushed on and I quickly slammed my book shut. The noise startled a couple of students nearby and they turned to give me dirty looks, but I didn't care. I stared directly at Eunae and swallowed everything away. She waited patiently while staring back at me and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself before whispering, "Stop." Then without waiting for a reply, I grabbed my stuff and hurriedly made my way out of there. It wasn't until I made it out of that suffocating place that I realized how much I actually had to say to her. I felt the wetness fall from my eyes and quickly wiped them away before my nose would start running. I have to promise myself that next time I see her; I would get a hold of myself.

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It's been a week and she was nowhere to be seen.

                I slumped into the empty couch in the vacant lounge. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. The dreams were too real. I was scared. I could feel myself drifting in and out of reality. Every time I looked up someone was giving me a dirty look, but I was too tired to care. Nowadays, I was nothing more than a zombie going to and coming from class. Yesterday, my roommate asked me if I was okay and I lied. I said that I was perfectly fine. I said that I was just crazy stress because of the amount of homework and projects that I had been assigned. I don't think that she bought it though. She looked kind of like she was really scared. I didn't know if she was scared for me or if she was scared for herself to have been stuck with a person like me as her roommate.

                I could feel my shoulders slumping and myself on the verge of falling asleep. Although the lounge was empty, I was still worried. I needed to get back to my dorm before falling asleep. But I was so tired. I glanced around and then forced myself to sit up as I pulled out my phone. I'm hoping that playing games would raise my awareness a bit. Then I would be able to wake myself up a little bit and head back to the dorms before falling asleep.

                As I was playing, the screen began to shift in and out of focus and it took me a second before I realized that it was actually my vision. Putting the phone away, I sighed and looked up. Trying to keep myself awake for a little bit longer, I turned my head and looked over to the office doors. There was a bunch of construction paper cut out letters taped onto the door to spell out the name of the professor's that the office most likely belonged to.

                "Park…Minho." I read the name slowly and out loud to try and distract myself from falling asleep. And right after I read the name out loud, the letters R and I suddenly slipped off the door. I chuckled at the rest of the letters left on the door, "Pa. K. M. Nho." I suddenly felt more awake than before and laughed lightly at my own stupidity, but mostly in relief that I was able to gain more energy. Turning my attention away, I took a deep breath and got up from the couch, feeling like I had enough energy to make it back to the dorms. It was then that I notice something flutter from the corner of my eyes. I turned to see that the letter N had also fallen off and that was when it hit me.

KM

                In the middle of the door, the letters seemed so to suddenly refresh my memories. I felt a chill wash over me and glanced around, but I was alone. This had to just be a coincidence, right? A slight panic was beginning to creep in my chest and I quickly shook off the ridiculousness as I hurried out of the lounge and down the stairs to the first level where more people were. Sleep was now out of the question. I wasn't tired anymore and I didn't want to head back to the dorms anymore. I just wanted a distraction. I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't know what was going on.

                My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket and I jumped slightly. It had startled me and I stopped walking down the stairs to pull out my phone. To my relief, it was a message from my friend, Younha who had just gotten out of class. I read her text and quickly replied back to let her know that I would meet up with her at our usual spot. Then I put my phone away and was about to continue down the steps when I saw her again. My body froze and I had to blink in order to make sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. But they weren't.

                Eunae was walking my way. She was looking down at her phone in her hands like she always did. That girl never paid attention to where she was going, yet she was always able to avoid walking into things. I felt a sudden knot of guilt twist in my guts at remembering that fact when Eunae suddenly stopped in her tracks and looked up. We made eye contact and I could feel her eyes bore right through me as if I didn’t exist. Then without any reaction, she simply turned and walked passed the doors to outside. My heart dropped as I immediately remembered my promise that I had made to myself last week. Rushing down the last few steps, I even blurted out, "WAIT!" as I ran to the doors.

               I'm sure that everyone heard me, but adrenaline was pumping through my veins so I didn't care. I needed to tell her. I needed to say everything that I had been holding in. Those were the only thoughts running through my mind that I didn't even realize what had happened until I ran smack right into someone. The guy stumbled back and caught his balance as did I. And as much as I wanted to keep running to find Eunae, I had to stop myself to apologize. Halting in my tracks, I turned my attention over to the shocked guy and his friend.

                "Sorry." I nodded my head slightly in apology and quickly glanced back up to see if Eunae was still around, but she wasn't. She was gone. And just like that, so was my chance. I turned around again to face the guy and swallowed the lump in my throat as I bowed again and apologized in a much more sincere tone, "I'm—I'm really sorry." I kept my head down and tried to blink back my tears.

                "Whether you're rushing or not you need to—" Whoever was speaking was suddenly cut off, "No, Luhan. Stop." I looked up to see the guy that I had ran into stop his friend from lecturing me. Luhan, his friend, made a face and then rolled his eyes. Then the guy turned back to me and smiled forgivingly, "It's okay. Just be careful next time so that you don’t hurt yourself." I didn't know what else to say, so I just nodded back dumbly when I felt my nose start to run. I sniffed and hadn't even made a move when the guy suddenly pulled out a pack of tissues from his pocket and handed it over to me, smiling, "Here you go." I looked back at him in surprise when his eyes widened and he asked with a concerned furrow of his brows, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

                As soon as he asked that, I felt a tear slip from my eyes and quickly wiped it away as I sniffed again, "I'm—I'm fine. Sorry." I shook my head and quickly backed up. God, this was embarrassing. I hated crying. I hated it so much. No one ever saw me cry. Eunae rarely did either. So having a stranger see me cry? That was the worst of the worst. I turned to leave when he suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm gently.

                "Did something happen? Did someone do something to you?" His eyes were wide with genuine care and I felt even more tears start to fall from my eyes. No. I hated this. I hated when people do this. Only Eunae understood. Yanking my arm away, I quickly left without another word and ran as fast as I could. I felt even more terrible because the guy really was just being nice. But I didn't know what else to do. I ran until I reached the spot where I was supposed to meet up with Younha. I was out of breath and my cheeks felt wet with tears. I wiped them all away and tried to catch my breath. Fanning my face, I tried to cool off before Younha saw me. I didn't want her asking questions.

                "That was rude." Her voice shot a chill up my spine and I quickly turned around before seeing Eunae with her phone still in her hands. She had a slight frown of disappointment on her face as she looked back at me. Guilt rippled through my veins and I couldn't tell if it was because of what had happened earlier between me and the stranger or if it was because of what had happened between Eunae and me. All I could do was continue to try to catch my breath from the run and stare back at her when she sighed softly and her shoulders slumped a little, "That was a really bad first impression." I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment and quickly shot back, "Not like it matters since I won't ever see him again." And it was the truth. There were plenty of faces on campus that I still haven't seen or met. What were the chances that I would ever run into this random guy and his friend Luhan again? Eunae only shook her head and I felt my throat clog up as I realized that this was my time to say everything that I had wanted to.

                "Miyoung!" Younha's call distracted me for a second and I quickly turned around just in time for her to throw her arms around me with a hug. My body stiffened for a second before Younha tugged me along with her back towards the main building on campus where I had just come from. I glanced over my shoulders, but Eunae was gone and my heart squeezed tightly in my chest.

                "Who were you talking to?" Younha frowned in confusion as she let go of me.

                "No one." I answered back firmly so she wouldn't ask more questions.

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Three days passed, but she hadn't shown up again.

                I was so tired. I didn’t even realize that I had already paid for my lunch until the register lady snapped at me to get out of line. I heard the other students behind me whispering and my cheeks got hot as I hurriedly left the cafeteria and went to look for an isolated spot to sit at. I found a small table for two in the corner and sat down. Looking at my food, I didn’t even know if I wanted to eat anymore. I was just too tired. All I could think about was sleep, but I couldn't sleep. If I did, I would dream about that again.

                Why? I could barely recall the reason why I was doing this anymore. I sighed and reached into my jacket pocket to grab my phone so that I could distract myself from these thoughts again. Yet, instead of grasping my phone, I felt my fingers come into contact with something else beside my phone. Gasping, I grabbed it and pulled it out. My heart stopped for a beat when I realized that it was my empty meds bottle. I glanced around quickly, but Eunae was nowhere to be seen. I hadn't touched this thing since almost two weeks ago. What the hell was it doing in my jacket? I dropped it onto my tray and groaned as my head pounded.

                No. I didn't want to. No matter what, I was going to it up and deal with the nightmares. It was nothing compared to the reality I would face if I were to start taking the meds again. I felt the guilt eat at my insides and leaded my head against the wall. The familiar lump in my throat returned and I did my best to swallow it down.

                "It is her. That's her." My ears perked up slightly.

                "So what? No. You are not going over there, Xiumin—" I shifted a bit.

                "Luhan, stop being such an ." The guy named Xiumin replied and I felt my heart skip a beat as I realized that the name Luhan could only mean one thing. I straightened up in my seat and felt a slight panic hit me, but tried to calm down. There was no way that they were talking about me. Please. I prayed that they were talking about someone else. There were so many other people sitting around. It had to be someone else.

                "Look, she's that crazy girl that everyone's been talking about. If you go over ther—Xiumin!" Crazy girl? Great. That definitely had to be me. It was offensive and I really wish that I hadn't caught onto that part of the conversation, but I can't really blame anyone for giving me that name. There were foot steps before the guy that I had rudely pulled away from three days ago sat down in front of me cautiously. Xiumin. That was his name, I guess. I took a deep breath and looked up. There was no use in pretending that I hadn't hear them.

                "What do you want?" I didn't waste time to get to the point.

                "Hey, I'm sorry about that. Just ignore Luhan. He's kind of an sometimes, but he's not always like that." He started and I only stared back blankly. I was too tired. I didn't need to deal with all this bull crap. I didn't even care anymore that he was nice. I just wanted to be left alone. They were right. I was on edge and I was crazy. People should just stay away from me. Xiumin must have been able to read the look on my face, because he quickly cleared his throat, "Sorry. I'm sure you heard my name already, but I'm Xiumin. And you are?" I didn't answer and only stared back at him, hoping that he would get the message and quickly leave me alone.

                Xiumin took a deep breath and I was going to call it my victory when he did the unexpected. He glanced down and his eyes widened. I knew instantly what he saw and quickly looked down to grab my empty pill bottle when he beat me to it. I felt horror slap me in the face as I snapped angrily, "Give that back." Xiumin only handed it back calmly and smiled as if he hadn't done anything wrong, "Nice to meet you, Park Miyoung." He had read the label and I knew that this meant that I was done for. This guy was sure to make my life a living hell after this.

                "You need to leave." I glared back and shoved the bottle back into my jacket. My hands were shaking. I didn't know what was going to happen. I was angry, but I was so scared at the same time. I placed my hands under my lap and sat on them to keep them from trembling. While Xiumin's smile faded as he dropped the bomb on me, "Why aren't you getting that refilled?"

                "That's none of your business." I gritted my teeth as I felt my head start to get dizzy. There were too many emotions boiling within me. I didn't even know which to feel and I felt like I was losing control. I wanted to leave. I wanted to get up and disappear, but my feet felt like jelly. Xiumin suddenly looked worried as he reached out to me, "Are you okay? You look sic—"

                "Don't." I snapped at him and backed away as fast as I could, "Touch me." Another wave of dizziness washed over me and suddenly my body felt like it could be blown away by the wind. I pushed my chair back and got up when Xiumin started, "Miyoung, you need to go see the—" I didn't hear the rest.

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It was happening again. I was screaming. There was fire everywhere. I was trapped. Everything hurt and my body felt like it weighed a ton. I could smell my clothes burning and I knew it wasn't going to be long before it was the smell of my flesh burning. I cried and tried to open the car door. It was always the same. I cried and prayed. I prayed that I could be saved from this horrible death. And then the door opens and I feel a pair of hot hands suddenly shove me out with tremendous force. I tumble and crash onto the hard ground as someone else starts to scream. I turn back around and Eunae is looking back at me. Trails of tears reflected off her cheeks from the fire that had begun to engulf her.

                "GO! GO!" She screams over and over—

I jolt awake in a break of sweat and feel tears at my eyes. I looked around, but everything was blurry from my tears. I can't stop myself as I start to sob, "Eunae. I'm sorry." My throat hurt and started to close up. I couldn't say the words that I needed to. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Then I feel someone grab my arms and pull me into a strong embrace. It's warm and I feel protected. Yet, even though I felt safe I couldn't stop the guilt from vibrating through me. Please forgive me. I cried even harder as I heard Eunae's deafening screams ring inside of my head. I'm so sorry, Eunae.

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I wake up again some time later in the small nursing room and find Xiumin sitting in a chair next to me. He's watching me with intent eyes and I know that there's no point in trying to put up a fight any longer. I only scarcely remembered someone hugging me and it was probably safe to assume that it no one other than Xiumin. Sighing softly, I slowly pulled myself up when Xiumin surprised me by straightening up and helping me out.

                "I'm sorry." I mumbled as I leaned against the wall.

                "For what? There's nothing to be sorry for." He answered gently. I stared back at him for a long moment before he shifted and pulled out a bottle of pills and placed it onto the small table besides the bed. He hesitates for a second and then looks back to me, "The nurse said that you've been ignoring her phone calls. You were supposed to get this refilled a couple of weeks ago." I stare at the bottle that had been refilled and felt my chest tighten uncomfortably. I didn't realize that I had been gripping the covers tightly until Xiumin reached out and tenderly placed his hand over mine.

                "The nurse said that the pills are to help you with your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." I looked back to him, but I couldn't read his face or his eyes as he continued gently, "She says that you need to keep taking your meds. You don't need to feel embarrassed—" I cut him off, "I'm not embarrassed by this." He blinked in surprise and I loosen my grip on the blankets.

                "I'm not." I felt my eyes start to get hot. He didn't have to ask me why out loud. I owed him an explanation at the most. "I got into a car accident with my best friend about five months back." I struggled, but forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat, "We were heading home and it was late. She was driving and I was in the passenger's side…we got into a heated argument." I stifled a spiteful chuckle and shook my head. I had to look up to keep the tears from falling, "I can't even remember what we were fighting about. It was so stupid. One moment we were driving and everything was fine, then the next, we were fighting. It all happened so fast. All of a sudden, the car…was on fire and I—" I couldn't stop the tears and my voice shook.

                "I was able to get out. I think she pushed me out." I covered my face in shame and guilt. "The driver's side had caved in when we crashed. She was trapped. And I just remember her screaming at me over and over to go. I didn't know what to do—I ran—I ran back to road and just screamed for help. But by the time the ambulance arrived—it was already too late." I sobbed and quickly grabbed the covers. Pulling them up, I hugged it tightly in my arms as I curled up against the wall.

                "It was all my fault. I should've saved her. I should've did everything that I could to pull her out of the car first. It's all my fault that she's gone now." I felt Xiumin's hand grasp gently on my shoulder and looked back up to him, "Xiumin, Eunae died because of me! Why didn't I save her first?! It would've been better if I died!  She didn't deserve that! She was supposed to be my roommate—She was supposed to survive college with me and we—we were supposed to grow old and bitter together!" I couldn't stop shaking as he leaned in to give me a hug. I didn’t want it. I hated it, but I had no strength left to push him away.

                "How can she ever forgive me now that she's gone?! How can I forgive myself?! I can't keep living like everything's okay!" He pulled my face into his chest and I sobbed even harder, "I didn't take my meds so that I could see her—I need to let her know how sorry I am—I need her to know how much I miss her—" My throat started to hurt again and I tried to stop, but the tears kept falling no matter how many times I told myself to stop crying. Taking the meds only meant one thing.

The nightmares would disappear, but so would Chwa Eunae.

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Chwa Eunae was my best friend and she died five months ago in a car accident.

I lived.

But she didn't.

                I took a deep breath and set down the white Chrysanthemums onto her grave. It was starting to get cold and I pulled my jacket tighter around me while fixing my scarf. Shakily letting out my breath, I looked at her picture and bit back all the tears, "Hey, Eunae. It has been a week since Xiumin found out about my post traumatic stress disorder." I took another deep breath to try and still my aching heart, "He's been really kind and generous to me. It's honestly weird and I'm kind of scared because I don't know if he'll continue to be my friend after this…but that's not the point." I mentally smack myself and tried to get back on track.

                "Anyways…I came to say that I got my meds refilled like you told me to and I just wanted to say sorry." My eyes started to get teary again and I quickly blinked them all back, "I'm really sorry that we got into a stupid fight. I'm really sorry about everything. I—I hope that you'll forgive me, be—because—I really miss you." I quickly wiped away the tears that I couldn't stop. "I really miss you, Idiot. School's really rough right now because you were supposed to be here with me and you're not. But don't worry—I'm slowly getting back on track…although, it's never going to be as awesome as it would have been if you were still here."

                A chilly breeze passed by and I heard the sound of a closing door. Glancing back, I saw Xiumin stepping out of his car. Then I turned back to face my best friend and sniffed, "I've—I've got to go now. Chwa Eunae, you are the best friend that I've ever had. I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me." I brushed away the stray tears and hurriedly turned back around to head back when I met Xiumin half way. He turns to walk back to his car with me and glances back over his shoulder when I glanced at him and frowned, "What?"

                "Nothing…" He frowned as he turned back to face the front.

                "Don't lie." I stopped walking to give him a look.

                "Well…I just thought that I saw someone else with you." Xiumin shrugged and my eyes widened before he quickly added, "But—not in a scary way! She was dressed casually and she just looked like talking to you! I thought that someone else had come to visit Eunae as well—" I stared at him for a moment and then turned back to look, but there was no one there. My heart picked up its pace and I wondered if the person that Xiumin saw could've have been Eunae talking to me.

                "I wonder if she forgives me…" I watched her grave a while longer.

                "I'm sure she has forgiven you a long time ago." Xiumin answered softly and I turned back to face him, asking, "How would you know?" He just shrugged and we continued back towards his car. The wind blew again and I shivered before bringing my hands up to my lips so that I could warm them. It was a habit and I didn't even realize I was doing it until Xiumin stopped abruptly. I frowned at him in confusion when he pulled out a pair of gloves and handed over to me.

                "Here, don't complain and just put them on." He smiled gently and gave me a teasing lecturing look when I was about to reject his demand. Seeing that he was willing to put up a fight, I decided against saying no and sighed as I reached out and took the gloves from him. He chuckled and we reached his car as I slipped them on as I half groaned, "Thanks. I guess."

                "No problem." He grinned back and I opened his car door, about to get into the passenger side when I noticed something. Xiumin, seeing that I stopped, also halted in his tracks and looked across the top of the car over to me. I stared at the two letters that had been hand stitched into his gloves and looked back up to him as I asked, "What does KM mean?" The curiosity on his face disappeared as he broke out into a chuckle, "Oh, those are my initials."

                "What?" I frowned as he laughed, "Xiumin's not my real name. I got that name from taking a Mandarin course with Luhan. Everyone got assigned Chinese names, except for Luhan since he is actually Chinese." I shook my head and waved off the information about Luhan, because I didn't care. Raising the glove up, I arched a questioning brow at him as I pointed to the letters K and M, "Then, what's your name?"

                "Kim Minseok." He smiled back at me sweetly and a sudden cold breeze blew by as everything clicked in my head.

KM

Those were the letters that I kept seeing every time I saw or was going to see Eunae. Those were also the letters that I saw before I chased her out only to run into Kim Minseok. It hit me then. I felt a bittersweet feeling fill me up inside as I finally understood. Minseok raised a brow and I quickly shook my head as I got into his car. He followed and got into his seat next to me before closing his door and pulling on his seat belt.

                "Why? Is there something wrong with my name?" He asked curiously as he started the car. I only shook my head and buckled myself in before fixing my scarf so that I could hide my smile. He glanced at me again and then shrugged as he turned the car so that we could exit the graveyard. I opened the window slightly so that I could feel the cold breeze once more. The heavy weight that I had been carrying for the past few months suddenly lifted itself off of my heart as I leaned against the door frame. Then, closing my eyes, I let the wind kiss my face before hearing Eunae's soft laugh ring in my ears.

 "Of course I forgive you, Idiot."

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