My husband closed his eyes, chuckling under his breath.  I was too taken aback before I found myself laughing at the absurdity of it.

“Jinjja?” I asked out loud, to no one in particular.  I unclasped the seatbelt and alighted the lorry.

I was looking around in bewilderment when I heard Jae-rim oppa saying goodbye to me…

And closing the truck door.

I grabbed the knob in panic.  “Aniya!  Why would you leave without me?!” 

He was finding my mini-tantrum too amusing. 

I grabbed hold of his plaid sleeves and pulled him to go down.  “Faster, get out of the truck!”

Thankfully, he did, and he seemed even more flabbergasted when he saw our spacious yard up close. 

“This is more countryside than my countryside home…” I murmured, still couldn’t believe we were subjected to move here.

What was this yellow mud house? 

What did we know about farm life?  Even Jae-rim oppa grew up in the city.  How would we survive?

I followed his gaze.  My husband was now concentrated on an outhouse that was next to the house itself.

“What is this?  A steam sweating room?”  Then his face became horrified.  “Is that the bathroom?!”

“No, it can’t be…” I tried to acquiesce, although I was sounding unsure myself.  My husband packed the bidet first, for heaven’s sake.  He couldn’t live using an external bathroom like that…

“It is!” he exclaimed, his jaw dropping.  “It is the toilet!”

Yikes… He might be right.

“There’s a family garden, then that means that’s the toilet…”

“What does that mean?” I asked him. 

“Because they said the toilet was eco-friendly that’s why…” His voice trailed off, as he closed his eyes, scowling.

It was the first time I’d seen his angry face.

It was hilarious.

I tried to control my laughter as I pointed at the farm equipment and gloves to divert his attention but the fire logs next to the outhouse caught his focus first.

Omo… they were expecting us to make fire too.

But that wasn’t what stunned me the most.

I gasped.  “What is that?”

It was pen with three chickens inside.

And biggest one was carrying a mission card around its neck.

I laughed nervously, prodding my husband forward.  “I can’t touch the chicken.  Oppa, you go ahead!”

He looked resigned and unwilling, and I could understand it all too well.  “Ah, it’s a mission card that would say this and that so we don’t have to take it…”

“But it’s looking at you, oppa,” I joked.

However, the big chicken had its eyes on Jae-rim oppa as if zooming in on him.  Had the chickens conspired with the producers about this?

Being the gentleman he was, he eventually went inside the pen, bumping his head on the door that was too small for him.

“Be careful,” I warned him too late. 

Once he was inside, I secured the wooden latch so the chickens would not escape while my husband crouched down and approached the anxious live poultry carefully.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he crooned, petting each of the chickens’ head gently.  “Stay there.”  He managed to fetch the mission card without a hitch and he slowly returned to the door so as not to startle our pets.

I turned the latch for him again as he exited.  He pulled out the mission card from the red envelope as I looked on curiously. 

“Welcome SoLim couple to the newlywed house,” he read out loud.  “After looking around, go to town to get the essentials you need.”

“Go to town?” I repeated incredulously, couldn’t help laughing.  “What is this place?  Where is the town?”

The lorry took us almost 4 hours out of Seoul, to the edge of North Korea, and there was a town?!

My husband seemed to be digesting this reality better than I did.  I sighed heavily as he took out the key of the house and unlocked the front door.

We looked at each other.  Jae-rim oppa had a smile on his face, being Sunflower Song again.

I guess I needed that at the moment.

He pulled open the door eagerly only to find a screen still blocking our way. 

“How do we open this?” I studied the rusty edge quickly.  “Maybe we should push it.”

It wouldn’t budge, even with my husband pushing it with me.

“What is this mosquito net?” I asked in frustration.  “Will it open?”

“Is this a human net?  Not a mosquito net?” Jae-rim oppa muttered, pushing it with more force this time.

The screen gave way, and my husband found himself nearly falling on the floor.

I laughed.  So that was how to open it!

Whoa!

Our eyes grew wide taking in the interior of our new house.

They weren’t kidding when they said they would provide us with a wider space.

“Oh, there’s TV!” I enthused, feeling a bit better as I tentatively stepped inside. 

“It looks like a traditional Korean home, doesn’t it?” Jae-rim oppa observed.  I could hear that his mood was brightening too.

He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to the direction of the kitchen.  It was a large, white kitchen and the house was bigger than we expected. 

However… it looked so empty.

I liked it, and I could feel my husband did too. 

Except maybe for the fact that North Korea was right in front of us.

I pointed towards the fireplace.  “Should we use that later?”

My husband agreed.

“Let’s buy some sweet potatoes,” I suggested, suddenly missing that childhood treat.

“And shovel!” Jae-rim oppa added, eyes lighting up.  “We could roast pork belly with it!” Then he moved his arms so as to demonstrate.  “Do you want me to cook pork belly with a shovel?”

“Ooh!” I was getting excited already.  It was like camping, but indoors.  “I like that!”

We explored the house some more, where we came upon a small door behind the kitchen. 

It was the bathroom. 

It was very simple.  There wasn’t even a shower.

“Ah,” Jae-rim oppa said, a bit subdued, “there’s only a wash tub like the one we used to make kimchi in when I was young.”

“The bathroom only has a screen door, so there’s no privacy,” I pointed out.

“This house is really antique,” I heard Jae-rim oppa say as he closed the bathroom.

I moved on to the glass sliding doors, which I guessed to be the bedroom.  I had been curious as to where we were going to sleep.

“We’ll have to paint over it,” Jae-rim oppa said, referring to the sliding doors. 

I let out a loud yelp when I saw what was inside.  “What is this?!  There’s no bed!”

It was a small rectangular bedroom with only room for a thin cushion made prettier by a pink comforter.

“What is this?” I kept wailing, dropping down to my knees helplessly.   “How come there’s no bed?”

Eotteohke!  Had the producers taken us seriously when Jae-rim oppa and I were kidding around playing the Empress and the concubine back in Jeju?!

They had sent us back to living in the Joseon dynasty!!!

We walked back to the bare living room, feeling numb. 

“I told you I didn’t trust the mission card,” Jae-rim oppa told me.

“I didn’t trust it from the get-go,” I replied, slightly upset.  “I can’t believe this!”

My husband looked at our new house key in regret and I flicked it from his hand bitterly. 

Jae-rim oppa sighed and fetched the key from the floor.

He leaned beside me on the mud wall below the windows and we collapsed on the floor.

We didn’t even have seats.

“That’s not even a bed,” I said sadly. 

Nampyeon sniveled mournfully, burying his face in his hands.  After a while, he lifted his head, leaned his shoulder against mine as if for support, and asked me what we should buy in town. 

I couldn't feel down at the same time as he was.  That was what marriage was all about, wasn’t it?  “Let’s go.  The mart here might not be what we are expecting.  It might be a tiny place, a small market.  Let’s throw away all expectations and just go.” 

I attempted to get up, feeling my joints going sore.  “My tailbone hurts!”

“Me too!” My husband groaned, rising to his feet as well. 

“We need chairs and an electric mat,” I enumerated, my mind creating a shopping list already. 

My husband pointed at the stove, going over to the kitchen.  “That’s the electric mat.”

“Oppa, that’s dangerous…” Then I exhaled sharply.  “Your clothes!”

“Why?”

If his clothes were that dirty then… “How’s my back?” I asked him, turning around.

He went over to me and started dusting off the red clay that had clung to my jacket. 

“We looked like we had rolled in dirt!” I did the same to him, dusting him off with my hands. 

Jae-rim oppa didn’t look pleased as he took off his trench coat.  “I really cannot live in this house.”

But then, we had to.

~~ To be continued…