“I love you so much,” Sehun repeatedly whispered into Baekhyun’s hair, wanting the day boy to remember it, wanting to remember it himself. His heart weighed heavy in his chest and there was a knowing left unsaid between them. They don’t speak of death or next lives, the war or anything else of the like. They speak of stars and moon and their friends and family. And Sehun makes sure to kiss Baekhyun, because he could never have enough and he will never have more. The reality of it hurts him and he doesn’t know what would become of him when Baekhyun leaves.

Another soft hum from Baekhyun broke the silence of the night, and Sehun only pressed another kiss onto the crown of the latter’s head. He tightened his hold around Baekhyun and hugged him closer, unable to stop a tear from rolling down his temple. The stars above twinkled weakly; as weak as the star he held in his arms. Sehun had to clamp his lips shut just so he wouldn’t sob again. When Baekhyun spoke, his voice was hoarse and his speech slurred just a little, but enough for Sehun to notice.

“I’m tired,” He said, fingers loosening from his clutch onto Sehun’s shirt. “I think I might go to sleep for a while.”

A little panicked, Sehun moved just enough to rest his upper body weight onto his left elbow so he could look down upon Baekhyun. Smiling sadly, Sehun leaned down to press a kiss onto Baekhyun’s forehead, lips trailing down to his cheek and then his other cheek. He kissed Baekhyun’s nose before his lips finally meet Baekhyun’s. Caressing Baekhyun’s face with a hand, Sehun whispered brokenly against Baekhyun’s lips. “Don’t go to sleep yet. I still want a little more time with you.”

The smile that grazed Baekhyun’s lips didn’t reach his ears like Sehun was used to, eyes gazing into Sehun’s with adoration. “Okay, then. I won’t. But I might fall asleep really soon, though. I’m so tired.”

Sehun could only nod, afraid that if he parted his lips, he wouldn’t form any words through his sob. He used the time to study Baekhyun’s face, carefully tracing lines along Baekhyun’s skin and kissing wherever he could reach. Baekhyun moaned at each kiss, whimpered at every touch of Sehun’s lips on his skin and Sehun thinks he could never, ever let go of this man. When Baekhyun chuckled weakly, Sehun looked up at him with a smile tugged at his lips. “You’re such a charmer, aren’t you? Kissing me like that, like you worship me or something. You make me love you even more so effortlessly.”

“Maybe I do worship you,” Sehun remarked playfully, leaning to press a peck onto Baekhyun’s chest. “Like the moon worships the sun. Isn’t their story just like ours? I am the moon, and you are the sun.”

Baekhyun blinked, tears gathered in his lashes. He smiled, though, just a little wider. “I suppose. I haven’t seen the sun for a while. I think it’s time that I do.” He made it sound like it was a joke, chuckling so softly it sounded almost like a giggle, and it made Sehun just a little angrier.

He frowned, “That’s not funny, Baekhyun.”

The boy stopped chuckling then, mouth forming a pretty half-pout as he raised a hand to cup the side of Sehun’s face. His smile, although weakened, was still dazzling. “My place is with you, though. Not where the sun is, but with you.”

He doesn’t know exactly what he was feeling, this heaviness in his chest and that lump his throat. Sehun kissed Baekhyun’s forehead again, willing himself not to cry but couldn’t help the tears that were soon flowing down his cheeks. “I love you so much, Baekhyun.” He said again.

At this, the pout on Baekhyun’s lips disappeared and he pulled Sehun just enough so that the taller male would hover above him just slightly. Baekhyun leaned up with all the energy he had left, parted lips meeting Sehun’s own in a passionate kiss. They kissed for a while, savouring each other’s taste until Sehun could feel something pressed into his palm. Breathlessly parting from the kiss, Sehun lifted his hand to see what Baekhyun had given him. In his palm was the necklace Baekhyun had been wearing since the first time they had met, an emblem that Sehun had learnt to represent light.

He parted his lips to speak but Baekhyun beats him to it. “Take it. I want you to keep it. Find me in our next lives and let it guide you to me. You’ve given me forever within our numbered days and I would never wish for any of it to change. There will come a day that the merge will be permanent, and we’ll find each other then. I promise. I know you will find me.”

Sehun was openly crying by then, panicking when Baekhyun closed his eyes and went still. Scrambling up to sit, Sehun cradled Baekhyun close to his chest, wishing for it not to be time just yet but the tired smile that coloured Baekhyun’s lips only told him otherwise. His tears were blurring his vision, snotty nose making it hard to breathe. Their hands clasped, and Baekhyun’s was so, so cold. “Baekhyun, don’t leave. Please don’t leave yet. I need you here with me. Please. I love you.”

Baekhyun’s eyelids were hooded when he opened his eyes, parting his lips only to say it back. “I love you, Sehun.” He groaned, face scrunched up in a wince as his free hand clutched at his chest where his heart it. Sehun could feel him running out of breath and he’s pleading to someone, anyone, for Baekhyun to stay. “We’ll meet again soon, I promise.”

Nodding his frantically, Sehun sobbed harder. His chest ached and his throat dried up. It hurts everywhere.

It only made sense for someone as beautiful as Baekhyun to die in a beautiful way. Sehun watched as a cord of light flow right off Baekhyun’s chest, face already void of emotions and body limp in Sehun’s arms. The light shot up to the sky, much like the one Sehun had seen the night Baekhyun made a wish. And in his tears, Sehun could see it forming a star, shining brighter than the rest, brighter than life. He knew he had lost the love of his life, knew that it was coming, but he still cried harder because it hurts so much. It had never hurt so much in his life; he had never felt so empty and lost.

Sehun doesn’t know how long he spent just crying, holding Baekhyun’s empty shell against his chest and kissing his face as if he would respond. He repeatedly told Baekhyun’s soulless body that he loves him, wishing he could hear him somewhere, somehow. He caressed Baekhyun’s face, kissed his cheeks and his lips and his forehead, unable to accept the fact that Baekhyun was gone and not knowing if he would remember all of this in their next lives. What if they wouldn’t meet again? What if he ends up loving someone else not knowing he had promised to find his soulmate?

There were a million ‘what if’s running through his head as he carried Baekhyun’s body back home, swollen eyes and reddened nose startling his parents when they find him outside the door. Chanyeol and Jongdae were there as well, and it was Chanyeol who had rushed to help Sehun with Baekhyun’s body when he noticed that Sehun’s knees had weakened. His hands were shaking and he could have dropped Baekhyun if Chanyeol wasn’t fast enough. The void in his chest had taken all of his energy and it was only after Chanyeol promised to handle Baekhyun’s body with care that Sehun finally lets Jongdae walk him up the stairs and into his room, where he laid on his bed for long minutes.

He cried again into his pillow until his mother came to say that they should properly place Baekhyun.

They made him wear the finest white suit that they could find and the few hours since Baekhyun left had felt like forever. Sehun stood before the casket they had properly placed Baekhyun into, face still swollen from his crying and lips numbed. He held Baekhyun’s cold hand in his own warmer ones, letting his tears flow freely as he watched Baekhyun’s serene expression in silence. At some point, Sehun would kiss Baekhyun’s knuckles and his palm; they were so cold, though and it only reminded him that he would never be able to feel Baekhyun’s warmth again. At other times, he would cry harder, sobbing into the cold of Baekhyun’s backhand and pleading mercy for his heart.

If he had the option, Sehun would keep the casket close to him but his father was right; no matter how much border the daywalkers had created with them, how much hate they now harbour towards the day people, it was only right for him to return Baekhyun to his parents and his people. War is nearer now than ever and Sehun is ready to fight.

But even if he goes down, what has he got to lose?

The first time Sehun remembered waking up to the sun was when he was five, squinting his eyes to adjust to the sunlight that streamed through his window. It was so bright and Sehun remembered wondering for the first time, why the sun only appeared for three days before they leave for another month. His grandmother used to say that it was because the sun is too hot, too dangerous for their skin, one of the reasons why they were born in the night. She told him stories of the sun god and the moon goddess, like a bedtime fairy tale but for a few years, Sehun had believed.

Eventually, Sehun had to grow up and his grandmother stopped telling him anymore stories about two worlds and their fairy tales. In the years of his growing up, Sehun stopped believing and while he enjoyed the presence of the sun, he was taught to never wonder why it was the way it was. Until, of course, he met Baekhyun. Sehun thought about the night of witness, when the stars had exploded and the sun lit for a few seconds. He wondered for many nights after that how fortunate he had been to witness beauty first hand, not just the Amalgamation but Baekhyun himself. His skin had radiated beauty and Sehun remembered being awestruck because he had never seen someone so beautiful. And it was enough to make him start wondering again; why was there a need to separate their worlds? Why is it that the day and night cannot merge forever? Why? Why? Why?

His questions were never answered and he doubts that he would ever find them. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. He had no reason to want the day world to be a part of him any longer. Baekhyun is gone and his people are Sehun’s enemy. He’s angry at the world, he’s angry at Baekhyun’s father and the whole of the day council, he’s angry and he’s shaking from just the thoughts of the daywalkers barging into his land to kill his people without any reason. But at the same time, Sehun’s void of emotions. He couldn’t feel anything else past the sorrow in his chest and the anger in his head.

It’s Amalgamation night and Sehun’s standing on his side of the tulip field, Baekhyun’s white casket sitting in front of him while members of the night council and knights surround him. They’re dressed to battle, equipped with weapons in case the daywalkers attack unknowingly. Sehun is bare, however, clad in only his jeans and a shirt. Baekhyun’s light emblem burned his palm from how hard he gripped onto it; somehow it makes him feel a little closer to the day boy, as close as he could get to someone who was already dead. Baekhyun looks so, so beautiful in his death bed and Sehun sheds another tear.

When the stars begin to explode, Sehun keeps his gaze onto Baekhyun’s pale face and pink lips. His heart is heavy and he’s unwilling to let go for the second time. From the reflection of the casket’s glass lid, Sehun could see his own eyes constantly changing colours, from its normal caramel brown to warm yellow and then a golden hue, turning light grey, red, and silver before it eventually stays a dark red.

He’s not afraid anymore; he’s just angry.

Apparently, so is the leader of the day world.

Sehun keeps his head down when the line of daywalkers appear from across the field. He only looks up to see that most of them are armed as well, counting up to more people than the ones who had volunteered to accompany Sehun tonight. His eyes caught the leader standing in the middle, an older version of Baekhyun who he quickly assumed was Baekhyun’s father. The leader’s face is set in an angry expression, Sehun noticed as soon as the daywalkers are close enough for him to recognize faces. On the leader’s sides are the two boys that Baekhyun deemed best friends, also the same pair who had given Sehun the disgusted look on that first night of witness. They are complete opposites of Baekhyun.

With heavy steps and an encouraging support from Donghae who had stood close, Sehun makes his way towards the leader of the day people, slowly pushing Baekhyun’s casket before him. He reached a decent amount of distance between himself at the leader, throat closing up from thoughts of letting Baekhyun go once again. His eyes welled with tears and he only managed to croak out an almost silent apology. A lady Sehun assumed was Baekhyun’s mother burst out into a teary fit, leaning against a younger male who was standing next to her. Youngbae, it must be; Baekhyun had spoken of him before.

There is a need to lift the lid up and kiss Baekhyun again, perhaps for the last of the last time and the thought of never getting to hold Baekhyun again rushed up Sehun’s spine like cold and his chest hurt all over again. Even in his death, Baekhyun looks so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

One of Baekhyun’s friends, Jongin