“OUR STORY [Yunho] - Part 2”

“They said it was a drunk driver…it’s a horrible car crash and he’s in critical condition…they don’t think that he will make it through the night…the chances for him to survive is thin…”

Yunho slumped down at the corner of his room, his fingers tangled in his hairs. The line of tears smudged his swollen face.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go visit him?” Heechul’s voice resounded.

“What am I supposed to do? Would it make him better if I go? Who am I to him?”

“JUNG YUNHO!!! They’ve lost him once! There won’t be a second chance after this!!!”

Yunho stared blankly in the dark like a lost spirit. The tears continued rolling down and wet his face.

‘They’ve lost him once’­- that sentence alone was enough to shred his heart. He closed his eyes and another droplet of tears trailed down as he did. His heart was screaming at him, urging him to run to Jaejoong’s side. He wanted to but he couldn’t bring himself doing so. How could he face Jaejoong and Jaejoong’s family in that condition?

What should he say?

I’m sorry but I love you?

“Kim Jaejoong…do you know how much I love you? Everyone said that you’re out of my league…that you wouldn’t even looking at me…that I’m not worthy of your attention…”

Siwon said that Jaejoong’s an exceptional case, special that even he doesn’t want to mess around with him. He’s not an attention who’s always thinking how to get popular even though it may seem like he’s been garnering it instead. Kim Jaejoong is the perfect soulmate for anyone who’s looking for it. That’s why Yoochun’s so protective over him.

“Kim Jaejoong…his heart as hard as stone…he wouldn’t easily be swayed by a simple flirtation…”

“Due to my incompetence…even though I love you, I couldn’t say it…I couldn’t even show my real emotion, afraid that my feeling will only push you farther away from me…”

Maybe he already did. Yesterday’s incident proved it.

‘They’ve already lost him once’ – but that’s way too far. If he could go back to the beginning and confess to Jaejoong early, he wondered if that would make it different. Would Jaejoong still be ended up on that bed, struggling with life and death? Nah, the matter of life and death is beyond anyone’s grasp. No one could predict it.

He never knew the more he loves someone, the lonelier he gets. If only that feeling could be stopped just by saying ‘stop’ or even better, erased where it can no longer come haunting him at the end of the day.

As he’s leaning against the wall, he let himself sinking deeper into his emotion. And just like that, he spent his time staying awake in the dark; cursing and blaming himself throughout the night. The tears became his best friend as he succumbed to the dreadful feeling of miserable.

It was in the early morning on the next day where his eyes finally giving up and he’s about to fall asleep when the phone that was placed next to him suddenly lightened up - signaling a new text message received. Upon reading the name on the screen, Yunho weakly ran his finger on the touch screen to read it.

“The doctor informed us that he’s just passed the critical stage…”

*****************************************

Yunho slowed down his steps when he reached in front of one door. His gaze landed on the name written on the side.

Kim Jaejoong

Standing just outside the door, he ran his finger on the small screen where he could have partial view of what’s going on inside that room. There are so many medical equipment which he doesn’t even know what they called; attached to the unconscious figure.

“His condition is stable right now…but weak…very weak…” Yunho glanced at Heechul who’s looking at the same direction as him – peeking into the room.

“…with his weak condition, the doctors have to wait for him to show some improvement. Only then, they could perform another operation… he suffered grievous injuries to his spine and both of his legs… he may or may not be able to walk anymore…” Heechul delivered the news with a trouble heart. Looking at other direction, he sniffled – evidence that he’s just finished crying.

Yunho’s eye lids drooped down; in an attempt to hide his emotion from being discovered. May or may not able to walk anymore? To what extent he should be punished? And for what reason? Swallowing the lump down his throat, his jaw tightened as he’s trying to hold back the tears.

“They allow one visitor per one time…go inside…”

Yunho glanced up to him and saw Heechul nodded encouragingly at him.

“I’ll wait outside…”

“What about his family members?”

“They’ve been waiting for the good news day and night…when Jaejoong passed the critical stage, Junsu persuaded them to go home and rest…and have something to eat…I volunteered to look after Jaejoong…”

Heechul could see it through Yunho’s eyes; the inner battle that he’s been fighting personally inside.

“They’ll be here again, soon…so go…” He motioned with his hand, prompting him to go.

Turning back around, he’s facing the one door that’s blocking him from entering. Slowly and with a heavy heart, he stepped inside. His two eyes were focusing intently at the bed as his feet brought him closer to it, step by step, breath by breath.

When Jaejoong’s full view finally visible to his eyes, he looked away. His face scrunched up. It’s so painful to look that it crippled his heart. his bottom lip as he’s bracing himself, Yunho moved to the side of the bed and flopped down on the chair. Carefully, he wrapped Jaejoong’s frail hand in his.

“I love watching you sleeping…in my car…on my shoulder…but this is the least of my favorite…” A wet fist of tears clogged his chest, almost suffocating him. He waited for a moment, hoping for some response. When he received nothing, he granted a soft kiss on Jaejoong’s hand.

“I’m sorry…”

“What you saw at that time wasn’t what I meant you to see. What I want you to see is what I can’t show – my heart… From the moment I saw you…you just walked right into my heart…and at that time, I could feel that you’re the one for me…”

Slowly, he rose back on his heel and with their hands still connected, he then leaned down to seal their lips together. The tears spilled on Jaejoong’s skin as he did that.

“It’s always you…from the very beginning and until now…even in the future…Kim Jaejoong…there’s only you for me…” Taking a deep breath, he reluctantly made his way out of the room.

Right after the door closed, Jaejoong’s heart monitor beeped faster…

…and the hand that Yunho held just now is reaching out for him.

“Y-Yun…ho…”

*****************************************

Jaejoong has been absent from the classes for five weeks straight and the news about him involved in a tragic accident reached to almost everyone in their batch. He became the talk of the weeks as everyone’s been delivering their intention to pay him a visit but sadly Jaejoong refused to receive any visitors. Apparently his injuries are worse than they imagined and what they feared unwittingly came true.

Jaejoong couldn’t walk.

And he reached the lowest stage of mental breakdown when he found out. He’s been avoiding everyone including his close friends and even his family members. The surgeries might be helping to treat Jaejoong physically but the pain that he had to go through after the sedative worn off is excruciating. The wallowing cries is the only thing that keeps on coming out from those double doors; tugging any heart who hears it.

It was one week after that when they received good news as regards to Jaejoong’s condition. It appears that even though Jaejoong currently can’t walk but it’s treatable with several courses of rehabilitation. The process however requires a firm determination but the excessive fatigue after underwent several surgeries induced Jaejoong to choose the path of giving up. His parents however, doesn’t want to lose their only son had no choice but to interfere.

By calling someone that they thought could persuade Jaejoong to change his mind.

“Shim Changmin? It’s a joke, right? I can’t believe it!!!” With his heightened voice, Yoochun grouched. Heechul instantly elbowed him and managed a shaky smile at everyone’s in that cafeteria.

That day marked the first time for Heechul, Yoochun, Junsu, Yunho and Hyun Joong sat together for a lunch.

“I don’t think I can understand what’s inside Jaejoong’s mind…I mean, if he’s avoiding us, I can accept that…but to not even want to see his own family? It’s harsh…and to think that he’s okay with that Shim Changmin? It’s so ridiculous! Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t they already broke up?!” Yoochun continued expressed what’s playing inside his mind boldly. His gaze swept from face to face, demanding a clear explanation.

“They broke up, if that’s what you want to hear…” Junsu’s the first one to respond to it.

“Before you argue anything, Jaejoong’s parents had no idea at all about it…because knowing how much they like Changminnie… Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to tell his parents about it…so I think; it’s natural for them to think that only Changmin could ‘heal’ him…” Hyun Joong ended it with a sigh.

Yunho who’s not saying anything ever since they sat at that table suddenly rose up from the chair.

“I’m already finished eating…”

Their gaze landed on his empty plate upon hearing his announcement.

“So…I’m going to the library…” He said and left them in bewilderment.

 “What’s wrong with him?” Yoochun blurted while arching his brow, couldn’t figure out the reason behind Yunho’s odd behavior.

Heechul, Junsu and Hyun Joong glared at him almost simultaneously – utterly disbelieved. Heechul snorted.

“Talking about a fool…” He stressed it out as it’s specifically directed to the clueless Yoochun.

“…and the one that thought he could fool us…” and that was directed to Yunho. Unless there’s an actual library in the hospital, then he would definitely buy that excuse.

“Library, huh?” Junsu smirked, shaking his head.

It’s been a month ever since Jaejoong began his intensive rehabilitation and Yunho never missed a day to go visit him – more like secretly watching him from far. Despite the upcoming final exam, he’d still find the time to go there to check on Jaejoong. Due to his injuries, Jaejoong had no choice but to extend the length of his study and spend that period to recuperate instead.

“Jaejoong’s lucky to have two geniuses sticking around him…even when the exam’s around the corner; they don’t find it troublesome to accompany Jaejoong…” Junsu commented after putting it into a thought.

“It’s not entirely about being geniuses or not, Junsu-ah…it’s about love…both Yunho and Changmin, they’re doing it out of love…” Flashing him his assuring smile, Heechul corrected him.

“The one who’s still holding onto the love and the one who’s reaching out for the love…” Hyun Joong stated.

 *****************************************

The beads of sweat which covered up Jaejoong’s forehead slid down his temple as he proceeded with extreme caution, step by step while gritting his teeth. How long it has been, he didn’t want to know. It took him a huge courage to step firmly without failing and he intended to continue for as long as he has to be, double the speed if he needs to. He just wanted to get better fast, to stand back on his feet – walk properly until he can run.

Yunho’s who been eyeing Jaejoong from behind the wall flinched when he saw Jaejoong tripped down. His foot instinctively moved a step forward like he was trying to catch him from falling down. And bravely, he took another step to approach Jaejoong – to encourage him that he could do it. To comfort him. But two steps are as far as he could go when Changmin scampered toward Jaejoong before his brain could even delegate the task to his limbs.

Devastated, he’s back at his hiding place – continued watching over Jaejoong and at the same time anticipate the right moment for him to step out.

“No! Don’t touch me!” Jaejoong’s stern voice stopped Changmin right before he’s touching him.

“Jae-”

“I can do it…”

Hearing it, Changmin took a step back in retreat – both of his hands and his feet. Not willing to say anything that will only discourage Jaejoong, he decided to let him do whatever he want while he stood nearby but fully on guard.

“Jaejoong-shi…Let’s call it a day…you need to rest…” The nurse who’s in charge in monitoring him walked into the scene, pushing along the wheelchair for him.

“No! I can still do it!” Instead of a friendly smile, Jaejoong didn’t even spare her a glance and brushed her off gruffly.

“But-”

Her voice broke off when she caught the signal Changmin sent to her. He put his finger on his lips and shook his head.

Shaking in every limb, Jaejoong d his way back to the wall. His pale face’s reddening; an evidence that he’s making a huge effort in enduring the throbbing pain.

‘Just a little bit more! You can do it! Don’t give up! Hanging there! A little bit more, Jaejoong-ah!’ – Those sentences, even though they couldn’t even made it past his throat, Yunho continuously and mentally shouting it. It doesn’t matter if Jaejoong couldn’t see him, it doesn’t even bothering him if Jaejoong wasn’t even aware of his presence as long as he could be wherever Jaejoong’s at.

Just like a guardian angel that’s carrying a responsibility to protect him, he built his hope high and backing up with a strong belief that Jaejoong could achieve it.

“A guardian angel, huh…?” He let out a miserable half laugh when a new thought seized him.

Guardian angel is a guardian angel and he will only turn up when he’s needed. Jaejoong doesn’t need him because he already has someone who’s willing to be the shield for him, to catch him when he think his world’s crumbling down, to hug him when he feels like losing strength to stand in his own…

…to kiss him on his forehead and whisper ‘everything’s going to be alright’ as a good luck charm.

Clenching his fist tightly till he could feel his own nails digging on his palm, the tears sparkled in Yunho’s eyes.

“It’s me who need you to survive…it’s always being me…”

Taking a deep breath, Yunho closed his eyes as he made up his mind. With a heavy heart, he lifted his one foot and veered toward the exit – only to find himself jolted when he met another pair of eyes.

It was one of Jaejoong’s noona – Kim Sooyoung if he’s not mistaken.

Yunho’s heart pounded at an immense speed. Just like a little kid that’s trying to cover it up when his secret got blown up, his lips and parched tongue moved but no voice issued. While he remained motionless and busied in endeavors to collect his thoughts, she shifted closer by a footstep.

“I’m assuming that you are Jung Yunho-shi?”

“I…Yes I am…”

“I’m one of Jaejoong’s noona…Kim Sooyoung…” She introduced herself and flashed him a weak smile. Those beautiful big eyes are seemingly losing their soul due to the eye bags coloring underneath; Yunho noted.

Not saying anything, Yunho replied him with a polite nod.

“Care to talk to noona for a moment?”

*****************************************

Occupying the table which is a bit isolated from the rest, they sat facing each other in the hectic hospital cafeteria. “Don’t let it affect you…” She began, flexing his finger around the steamy cup.

“Jaejoongie’s avoiding everyone except for Changminnie…that… don’t let it affecting you…he’s acting like that to everyone he really care…it’s just who he is…he never let anyone see his weak side…showing only his smile and shed tears behind everyone…he think that  it’s better for him to suffer all by himself than dragging anyone into it…”

Yunho simply glued his lips tight; just let Sooyoung noona took control over the situation. Aside from having nothing that he can speak or comment, he figured that it would be best for him to just listen for whatever she wanted to say. Maybe; just maybe that Sooyoung just want a good listener for her to pour out what she’s been holding back and he…

…he just wants to know about Jaejoong better…even better that Shim Changmin knows about Jaejoong.

“Our Jaejoongie…he’s not a maknae until 7 years ago…” SooYoung took a deep breath and let the coffee washed down before she proceeded.

 “7 years ago…the maknae – our little brother died…our hearts shattered due to the lost…that was also the last time Jaejoong cried…well; I’d say that was the last time we saw Jaejoong cried…and then he made this promise – that he’ll always make us happy, that he’ll be the sun that brighten up our gloomy days…he cheer us and smile…like a lot…”

“…Kim Jaejoong…our precious little brother…that will always put someone else before him… he strives hard to recover in fast speed in order to prove to us that he’s really fine…”

“It’s silly I might say…all we want to say to him is that…its okay for him to cry if it really hurts…it’s okay for him not to act strong when he’s really weak…it’s okay for him to depend on us-” She sniffed once…and twice… Biting his lips, she peered at him with red-rimmed eyes.

The tears were at the brink of her eyes and then there’s something else shone on it. Hope. The way she’s looking at him was like Yunho’s the answer to every problem.

“Don’t ever let go of him…”

Yunho’s eyes widened and his mouth parted slightly; confused.

“Don’t ever let go of him even if he push you away…even if he said that he hates you, asking you to go away…don’t ever do what you might think that will please him. Because it’s not. When he’s down and when he thought that he’s out of luck; he will say those kinds of things intentionally… to make people to leave him alone and let the pain eats him alive…”

She reached over to hold Yunho’s hand.

“So please…hold onto him…don’t ever let him go even if it’s really hurt…”

‘Don’t ever let go of him’ – she said it more than once that it’s so clear to Yunho’s ears.

“I...don’t get it…why are you telling this to me?”

She wasn’t rushing to answer that question. Gazing deeply into Yunho’s eyes as if she’s searching for the word trust to somehow pop up on the surface of the lenses; she smiled softly.

“It’s because you’re Jung Yunho…the one name that Jaejoong keep on calling…throughout the whole times he’s unconscious…”

*****

A/N: Another update~ Please support me by subscribing and comments are most welcomed^^ thanks~