“Yunnie-ah…Yunnie-ah…I’m sorry…”

“HE’S NOT BREATHING!!!”

“Yunnie-ah…” Within his blurred vision; he tried to reach for the latter’s hand. His face’s turning blue; really pale. The paramedic pushed the stretcher where he’s laying down entered into the ambulance.

“Yunnie-ah…don’t leave me…”

“We’re losing him…HURRY UP!!!” He could see their parents were crying.

“Yunnie-ah…” The tears kept coming out like a broken tap. He’s trying to reach for someone’s who really far from him.

“Aniya…aniya…”

“ANIYA!!!!"  Jaejoong screamed and his body sprung out of the reflex only to be greeted with the darkness engulfed his bedroom. His pajama drenched with cold sweat.

The tears dropped down onto his palm. He stared down at his hand. He was crying? Jaejoong brought his finger to touch his cheek and he found that his cheek was stained with the tears.

“So…I AM crying…”

Again...he woke up in the middle of the night because of the haunting nightmares. His breathing’s unstable, with his chest up and down; trying to calm himself. The pale familiar face flashed back into his mind. His eyes grew wider. He saw the door of his room has been opened from the outside.

“Jaejoongie, what’s happened?!!!” Mrs. Kim asked while jumping onto him; checking his body urgently and touching his forehead afraid that Jaejoong might be sick. She didn’t receive any answer from his shocked son instead of a blank stare.

He’s been dreaming with the same dream for the past two weeks. A very unsettled dream. He thought it was just another meaningless dream at first but then he feels like he’s walking onto the memory land. It was like he’s recalling some part of his missing memory.

And that night; he got the answer.

*************************

*Yunho’s POV

“Yunho…” I turned to look at Omma when I heard my name being called. Omma looked at me in a concern smile.

That’s when I felt the hot thick fluid oozing out from my nose…I wiped it off with my sleeve and hid it under the blanket before Omma notice it.

“Can’t you consider it sweetie…I know you almost give up and I know that you hate it when Omma and Appa talk about this topic…but Yunho dear…You can’t stop people to hope for the best things for you…Because we love you…” I lost counts how many times I witness my parents cried over me…They suffered even though I’m the one who sick.

“Jaejoongie…one day; he’ll remember everything once again…and at that time; he really needs you…but if…” Omma’s voice choked.

“…but if you…”

I sighed.

The first time I met Jaejoong is when both of us lived in Guam. He was my neighbor.

I always observed the boy and girl at my age running towards the school; laughing together with their friends…enjoyed their time going to school…While I’m observing them from the balcony.

I suffer a dilated cardiomyopathy; a condition in which the heart becomes weakened and enlarged and cannot pump the blood efficiently. And it’s gradually affecting my other body systems. For my condition; appa said I received it genetically…hereditary disease…he kept on apologizing at me because unfortunately I wasn’t one of the luckiest man in our family...but then I can’t even blame our ancestors for it because I knew if he could chose; he would choose not to suffer this kind of disease.

I was once a basketball player and I really love playing it. Well let just say I love to play any kind of sport until one unfortunate day I collapsed during the game. I remember how appa looks at the time he heard that I was diagnosed with the same disease that killed his brother and his uncle. Terrifying is what I can described.

I felt like every dream has been snatched away from me; every hope has been crushed defiantly. I strictly was tossed into the list of people who has no right to dream bigger.

I’m restricted from playing sport; skipping schools became my necessity and spending times on the bed unwittingly becomes my hobby. Walking now require lots of energy and efforts; swimming and hiking were strictly forbidden and even breathing sometimes the most painful thing to do.

 I’m miserably just waiting for the time my life comes to an end. Even that I feel like it was such a long time to wait.

One day…everything changed…

*Flashback

“Jaejoongie…can you do me a favor…?” Jaejoong nodded earnestly as he’s looking at Mrs. Jung.

“Can you please go upstairs and accompany my son…make friend with him…”

“You have a son…? But I never see him before…” Mrs. Jung nodded.

“He’s sick…he cannot go out frequently...” Mrs. Jung explained.

“He must be really lonely…” Jaejoong though while looking upstairs.

“Go Jaejoongie…brings this cake with you…omma has some works to do with Mrs. Jung…” Mrs. Kim pushed a plate of neatly arranged cake pieces.

Jaejoong wore a confident smile as he’s climbing up the staircase. When he arrived at the front door; he knocked at the bedroom door lightly but getting no answer. He leant he ears against the door to trace the sound from inside the room; afraid that he might just intrude the owner. He then twisted the knob and stepped inside. His large concern eyes wonders around the large rooms and found someone who’s particularly sitting nearby the balcony.

“Annyeonghaseyo~” Jaejoong bowed as their eyes met.

“I brought something for you…” Jaejoong smiled and walked eagerly towards him.

Unfortunately…

“OMO~!” Jaejoong tripped onto the carpet and fell down with his face landed right into the cake he was holding on.

Yunho jogged towards Jaejoong and gave him a hand to sit up.

“It is the cake…” Jaejoong smiled cheekily with his face smudged with the remaining cakes.

Yunho burst a light chuckle seeing the cheerful Jaejoong trying to clean up his face with his bare hands. Yunho stood up leaving Jaejoong for a second to grab the wet tissue on the table. As he walking towards the table; he brought his right hand to touch his left chest. His heart’s beating quite differently and it was the new sound to Yunho.

*Flashback End

I don’t know when or why…but he became my main priority day by day…till I realized the existence of love in my heart; thing that I never imagine that I can have in my worst condition…

And because of that…I willing to risk something that I’m not sure is belong to me or not; just for him…my life…

****************************

“I almost killed him…” It’s dawn already. Jaejoong was terrifying. He bit onto his finger’s nail while repeating the same sentence.

His parents couldn’t leave him. The last time Jaejoong acted like this; the next day Jaejoong didn’t remember a single thing. This time; they cannot let the same thing happened again.

Mr and Mrs. Kim pulled Jaejoong’s body into the hug.

“No…he saved you…” Jaejoong shook his head like a little kid.

“I almost killed him…no…I killed him! He’s not breathing…!” Jaejoong raised his voice.

*Flashback

“We’re surrounding with the beach; the ocean…you’re supposed to know how to swim already, Jaejoong-ah…” His friends nudged Jaejoong’s arm; intimidated the pretty boy.

“I can learn any time…Yunnie can teach me how…”

“Ohhh come on…he didn’t even leave his room; you think he will come to you if something bad happened…?” The words uttered by his friends sentence by sentence seem like challenging him.

“Jaejoongie~!” Jaejoong looked up and saw Yunho’s waving at him.

“You see…ever since you started being friend with that tall guy; you’ve been talking about him a lot…”

Yunho frowned. Jaejoong wasn’t responding at him. He walked into his bedroom and passed by the door; quickly but yet cautiously stepped down the staircase heading towards the back door of their house.

“Yunnie, what’s wrong…?” His mother followed him from behind.

“Yunnie…what’s wrong…?” His mother asked again.

“Omo is that Jaejoong…?”

Jaejoong was pushed from behind by his friend into the raging waves.

“See…he’s watching us…if he knows how to swim…he’ll come to save you…”

“No…this is not right…he’s sick…and if he didn’t…you’re gonna let me die, here…?” They pushed Jaejoong even deeper. The water reached up to their waists when Jaejoong stopped.

“We’re here…we’ll save you for sure…” Jaejoong turned around and stared at them deadly.

“Do you think this is a game?! Screw you guys…I’m going home…” Jaejoong pushed them aside. One of them lost his balance and fell. They’re heading back home when they heard a faint calling from the back.

“Help!”

“Help!”

Jaejoong’s eyes grew wider when he saw he’s drowning. His hands were flailing. He’s gasping for the air. Jaejoong looked at his other friends in disbelieved.

“What are you doing here…? Go and save him…!”

“I don’t want…I’m scared…”

“Me too…I…I never try swimming at the time like this…it’s getting dark…” Both of them retreated to the beach.

“What do you mean?!”

“Can’t you see those crazy waves…! They’re like waiting to swallow someone…”

“YOU ARE CRAZY!” Jaejoong shouted in rampage. He had no choice and rushed to help his friends himself.

“JAEJOONG! COME BACK HERE! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!!!” His friends called.

“Do you expect me to leave him like this…” Jaejoong mumbled.

He went deeper and deeper trying to reach for his friend. He sank his hands into the water blindly hoping that he might catch something. His friend resurfaced and Jaejoong immediately pulled him by his shoulders and dragged him to a safer place where he can stand on his own.

His face turned chilly red as he’s gasping for the air.

“Go…hurry!” Jaejoong pushed him from the back; forcing him to walk away. The waves came and slammed his back; Jaejoong stumbled.

“Yunho saw his friends came back without any sign of Jaejoong.  

“Omma…call appa…call Jaejoong’s parents…!” Yunho urged.

“O…okay…but what…”Mrs. Jung grabbed the phone trying to make a call when she turned back just to see that Yunho was far away from the house; running towards the seaside.

“YUNNIE-AH!!!” Mrs. Jung screamed in horror.

Yunho skipped multiple steps to get in time just to be welcomed by Jaejoong’s friends.

Yunho didn’t wait any longer and jumped into the ocean. His first attempt met with a failure as he couldn’t find Jaejoong’s body. It’s getting dark and deep and it requires more than patience. But Yunho can’t wait and he dived in once again.

“Please…please God… please…” both of Yunho and Jaejoong’s parents wiped away the tears while praying.

Yunho resurfaced with another failure. The tears rolled even faster out of Mrs. Jung eyes. Mrs. Kim hugged her from the side. It’s torturing her seeing Yunho’s condition. They desperately wished for a miracle.

*Flashback End

“You’re saved but Yunho almost died. He had serious heart rupture and didn’t wake up for the next three months. We didn’t notice how much you suffered. You blamed yourself for Yunho’s condition. Slowly you’re losing your memory until one day you wake up with no memory about Yunho at all.”

Mr. Kim received a phone call. He answered it calmly but later was sending a meaningful look at his son.

****************************

*At the Airport

Yunho-ah…can you at least tell omma why you’re willing to do it now…?” Yunho walked in the between his parents as they guided him to the exit.

“Because of I want to stay alive…as long as I can…” Mr.Jung and Mrs.Jung glanced at each other tried to understand what Yunho mentioned.

*Yunho’s POV

I want to stay alive as long as I can…for Jaejoong…

“STUPID JUNG YUNHO!!!” .

I recognize that voice…I recognize it very well… The voice that I wish to hear every night wishing me good night…I turned around…just to see that he’s crying…

“Jaejoong is crying…?” This is the first time I discover that he knows how to cry too aside from whining; yelling and pouting…

***********************

*Jaejoong’s POV

“Yunho’s health condition deteriorated. His family had persuaded him to undergo the operation under the expertise’s supervision abroad but he refused because there’s no guarantee that he will survive. But then, out of nowhere and unknown reason, he agreed for the operation yesterday…”

A boy wearing a beanie on his head turned around. I ran in a lightning speed just to hug him. I cried within his chest as he tightened the hug. He sniffed my scent like I did before.

“Jaejoong-ah…I love your scent too…” I cried even louder but he just caressed my back fondly.

“Just tell me…why…? Why you’re doing this to me…? You’re stealing my favorite works on the first day we met…You’re stealing my first kiss…you’re stealing my sane and now you want to leave…? Why you didn’t tell me?” I threw every question I can to him. I muffled within the tears.

“Jaejoong-ah…I’m sorry for being selfish…”

“I just want to steal your attention…”

“...and I just want to steal your heart…” I closed my eyes as I feel the rhythm of our heartbeats joining together.

“Because I love you…even if your love for me is 1%...” The tears were all rolling down from my eyes.

“Yunho-ah…listen to me…I’ll wait for you…and you HAVE to live and back to me…because only if you’re back to me safely then you’ll hear my confession…I won’t tell you now…BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE!!!”

“I’ll come back to you…”

And the kiss witnessed our separation that day…..

***********************

I’ve never heard any news from Yunho anymore. His parents called me the night ofhis operation; telling me about it. And no more…

No more news about his condition after that…Did he do well…? I don’t know…I’m afraid to know the truth…Did he survive…? I wish so…I continue my daily life like nothing happened…Because I’m so determined that he will come back to me; perfectly healthy.

I have no strength to think if that day was the last day for us to see each other…If so…

“Jaejoong-ah…!” I looked back just to see Junsu. He took a seat next to me.

“What are you doing here…? I’m glad that Yunho suggested Guam for our trip. Guam sure is a nice place…”

“Emm…” I hummed in agreement.

“Come…we’re preparing for barbeque… it’s no fun for us; if you’re not there…” Junsu tapped on my shoulder as he stood up.

“I’ll join you later…I just wanna spend a little bit more time here…”

“Okay…” Junsu left me. Here I am, sitting on the beach before the ocean that almost took our lives forever.

Yunho-ah…I came here once again…the place that used to be erased from my mind for quite sometimes…

“Jaejoong-ah!” I heard another calling.

“Yes! I’ll join you guys in a minute!” I screamed.

I pulled my legs up to my chest; watching the wide sky above me. It’s peaceful. I closed my eyes to reminisce all the memories I shared with Yunho before…

*DUK!

A ball was thrown and hit right at my head. It then landed in front of me. I rubbed the back of my head feeling stingy and a little bit dizzy.

“I’m okay!” I raised my hand to inform at the default one; telling him I don’t mind. I woke up just to grab the ball when another one hit right at my back.

I huffed; trying to ease the increasing anger. I picked up the ball patiently as well as the latest one and was about to turn around when again; I was hit with the ball.

This time; while stomping my feet against the ground; I turned around; dying to see the offender who obviously intentionally trying to mess with me.

The balls that were in my hands just now, slipped and dropped down. I saw him smiling at me innocently. I thought that my heart was going to jump out of my ribcage.

“Yunho…” The tears were pooling at the corner of my eyes. I held back and ducked down to pick up the ball.

Wearing en evil smirk; I threw the ball back at him; more like attacking him with the balls. He ran out hastily trying to dodge the balls. I laughed out loud and later lifted my feet to run after him.

“STUPID JUNG YUNHO! STOP RIGHT THERE!!!” I yelled but he kept on running. I added the speed on my running and jumped onto his back. Only then he stopped; trying to adapt with my weight on his back.

“YAHHH!!! Don’t ever do that…you might fall off…” I smacked his head with my fist and laughed again.

He started to walk while piggy back me along the seaside. There was a pregnant silence in between us. I can’t take my eyes off him. I’m afraid that he might just disappear and leave me again if I blink.

I snuggled at his neck and whispered the three sacred words at him. He smiled in satisfaction.

“I wanna know how much…”

“99…”

“99.999999999 %” I exclaimed with a bright smile.

I flinched when he suddenly stopped and threw his gaze at me. I blinked my eyes rapidly when he gently kissed my lips. I locked my mouth shut when he continued walking.

“I love you so much; Kim Jaejoong…even if you say that you love me just for 1 %”

I almost lost you…Hugging you like this; it feels like a dream…

“Thanks for not leaving me when I said ‘I hate you’ long ago…I don’t even meant it…” He didn’t even realize his eyes were b with tears.

“I know…” Yunho halted his walk and looked over the crying Jaejoong. Jaejoong was taken aback as he was caught crying by Yunho. He brought his hand to his mouth to muffle his sobs.

“Come closer…” Yunho softly commanded.

Jaejoong looked at Yunho and Yunho nodded. Jaejoong caressed Yunho’s face and gently kissed Yunho on the lips.

*********************************

KimJi-Yeon > I'm not bear to kill Yunho...he should live so Jaejoong would be happy; right? ^_~ Thanks for reading!

soyoung > as you know by now..no; it's not a sad ending...yes...i agree with you; when Yunho succeed make Jaejoong love him; it's really cruel just leave him forever...thanks for reading!

min_ka > you're correct dear...^_~ aww~ because he blamed himself for almost kill Yunho; that's why...thanks for reading!

byul_mi > it's true...because he love Jaejoong; that's what makes him want to live...just want to be with the one you love...and Jaejoong finally remember~! Thanks for reading!

MiszCJung > yes that's right...i agree with you...but...I planned to make Yunho live...sorry if that's upset you...i love the song "Insa"...! thanks for reading!

Kim_Lily > here tissue for you dear...don't cry...Yunho's with Jaejoong now~! thanks for reading!

yunjaemrcn > nope...they don't suffer! happy at the end! ^_~ thanksfor reading!

melfics > So glad to see you here...please don't ever leave me...hihihi...yes..they're together at the end...thanks for reading!

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Comments are pleased~! thanks~!