“So you—so you actually wanted to be involved with these... mobsters?”

“No, not really, but it wasn’t like I was a total newbie to the whole underworld society when the whole thing happened right?”

“Well—okay whatever—and then?”

“They called me.  Like, 2 nights ago or something.” 

“What for?!”

“They needed my help with something.” 

“Not to people like them.”

“Especially to people like them.  They could literally kill you!”

“So?  What’s the deal?”

“They asked me to—“

“URGH!”

“A-and then someone called her, Boss.”  The man in the cap bows his head apologetically at his boss who is listening to the recording of a certain conversation that took place at Cowgril Steakhouse a mere two days ago with his fingers laced upon each other. 

“Who?”

“I don’t know sir—maybe we could check if you like.” 

“That would be nice, thank you.  Now please...” The man’s boss gestures at the man’s phone, and promptly the man turned the recording back on. 

“Oh, of course Boss.  This bit right here isn’t really important actually—the older one was just having a phone call and…. Sorry.”  The man bites his lip, seeing that his boss has indicated for him to shut up with an elegant raise of his thin hand.

For a while nothing filled the room expect the rustling voices coming from the phone.  The boss between them two sighs and frowns impatiently, hearing that the next few seconds are filled with nothing but pointless conversation. 

“Shall I fast forward it for you boss?” The devout follower of the boss offered helpfully.

“No no, that’s fine.  Leave it be.”

“They asked you to do something for them, that’s why they called you back to Korea!! Quit stalling!”

“Oh, that.  They just asked me to help with some problems.  They need someone who knows English well because they’re currently trying to secure a deal with couple of Italian mafias.  And since the mafias only know Italian or English.. so..”

“Seriously Jae, you really wanna get involved in all this again?!”  A shrill cry of disapproval is heard. 

“Yes!!  I do!!” 

“Jae, are you sure?!  I asked you if you really wanted to get involved in all this mobstery — you’re not getting married.” 

“I know.  I do.” 

“Um.. okay.. so.. is that your job?  A black linguist?”

“Is that true?”

“We don’t know Boss.”  The man admits. 

“Hmmm.”  The boss nods and doesn’t chase the subject any further.

“Don’t put it like that!” 

A few seconds of silence, and then the same voice speaks again. 

“Dude, that guy on your left keeps checking you out.”

“And dude, you’re hallucinating.”

“No, seriously.  Look!  Look!  He’s looking at you again!!”

“Where?” 

Silence again for half a second.

“The one with a cap?  Dude, he’s looking at you.”

The boss frowns.  “Are they talking about…?”

“Yes, that might have been me, I’m afraid.”  The man ducks his head, admitting it a little embarrassedly. 

“So they saw you?”

“Excuse me!  Yeah, you right over there with the HBA cap!  Who are you looking at?  Me or her?”

“Well, I was wearing a cap Boss, so I’m not sure if they actually saw my face that clearly or not….” The man trails off, trying to convince his boss that he did not thoroughly up.  “And then after that I had to leave because they were getting to focused on me and I’d hate to be remembered.  Besides, I’ve recorded everything you’ve told me to already, Boss.  All the important parts have been revealed.’

“Hmm.”  His boss nods.  “True.”

Silence again.  The man shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another, trying to calm his nerves down.  What will the boss say?  Would he—

“I like Seo Jaein.  Tell me, what do you think of her?”  The boss looks up at the man expectantly.

The man hesitates for a second.  “She’s… she’s eccentric, sir.  I think she’d do just fine.”

His boss smiles a meaningful smile.  “Okay.  You and your team may proceed.”

The man’s eyes lighted up like a camp fire and his lips twitched into a small smile. 

“You know what to do right?”  His boss makes sure.

“Yes, boss.”  He confirms, nodding firmly. 

“Good.  You may leave.”  His boss nods at the door and the man bows once again before leaving.  Just before he exits, his boss calls his name again, causing him to spin around once more. 

“Yes, boss?”

“Get rid of your caps.  Try a Fedora before they blow our cover.”

“Got it, boss.”  The man bows one last time, before disappearing behind the doors.

“You don’t like her, do you.”  Kai deadpans as he escorts his boss, aka his uncle, aka stand-in-Grandpa, back to his lair (read:  office). 

“I don’t.  But your son obviously does.”  Sooman sighs.  “Even a blind bat can sense that.” 

 “You’ve officially tested the wits out of that woman.”

“That is what I had intended to do, is it not?  Anyway, I had fun doing so.  She looked like a whistling kettle back there, if I may say.”  Sooman gets out of the wheelchair and takes perfect strides over to his desk.  “Get that thing away from me.” He motions at the wheelchair.

“So?” Kai prompts again.

“Well, as you may be able to tell already, I still don’t like her that much, Kai.”  Sooman says, giving Kai a what-can-I-do smile.  “I told you, she’s not like us.  She can’t even watch CSI without hiding behind her hands every 2 seconds, what the hell do you make out of that?!  You think a person like that will be able to protect your son?”

“I just need her to take care of Jongguk, not protect him.”  Kai mumbles. 

“You’d never know when you’re gonna need a little extra protection, boy.”

“Well, fine, other than the fact that she can’t stand violence—“

“—and that her choices of interest on the silver screen are as shallow as a teaspoon—“

“I haven’t seen White Chicks and neither have you—I think—Uncle, so let’s not delve into that right now.“  Kai raises his hand in protest.  “Anyway, other than that, I think she qualifies all the other requirements needed to pass as a babysitter.  I saw you eating the food she made with gusto.”

“Really.”  Sooman looks at Kai, crossing his arms, as if giving Kai the chance to persuade him further.  Kai understands this and launches on.

“Uncle, you also saw she took care of Jongguk.  They fit each other, really.”

“I am aware of that.”  Sooman sighs.  “The only reason I’m giving in to this, Kai, is that she is genuine about this.  She’s genuine about her job and that’s the only reason I’m letting her stay.”

Kai nods silently. 

Sooman peers at him.  “But I am still not keen on the fact that she’s moving in with you Kai.”

“What could go wrong with that?”  Kai asks, annoyed with how everyone seems to be against that decision of his.

“Well, I don’t know, other than the fact that you’re probably going to grow way too attached to her for your own good?!”  Sooman snaps.

“Uncle, I know how to handle a few hundred men on the field—I know how to handle my feelings, okay?”

“Kai—“

“Besides, it’s not like she’s going to be there forever.”

Sooman gives Kai a steely look.  “We’ll talk again in a few weeks.  You’re gonna see what a pain living with a woman can be, young man.”

Kai clears his throat.  “Right.  You probably know that better than I do—so okay.  You’re not going to replace her with her sister, aren’t you?”

“Aren’t you going to go full out against me if I do that?  It’s not like you’re going to allow me anyway.  I probably won’t get any sleep until I bring Iseul back to you if I plucked her out of her babysitter position.”

Kai’s cheeks burn for the slightest second.  “I’m not going to be that dramatic, uncle.”

“Wanna bet?” Sooman raises his eyebrow. 

“Fine.  Now, that leaves us with the other thing—what are we to do with her sister?”

“Well, other than the fact that I’ve decided to recruit her—“

“Wait, what?”

“Why not?  One of the Seo sisters is already here anyway.”  Sooman shrugs.  “I decided to take her in because after I’ve decided to go through her files I found out that she’s actually very much acquainted to the underground society we all live in, and it turns out that she’s very skilled at combat and blackmailing, due to her impressive linguistic abilities.  She might be helpful should we ever find the need to deal with foreign people like the Yakuzas or the Italian, Russian, and American Mafias since she’s been living in the States.  Her English is impressive.”

Kai stares at his uncle.  Something still didn’t seem right.  First, he called her over here to replace Iseul.  Now that he finally convinced his uncle that Iseul didn’t need replacing, he decides to keep her sister here as well, instead of sending her back to the States.   Why didn’t he do that?

“Why don’t you just…. Send her back?”

“I tried.”  Sooman says simply, and Kai’s confusion grows.

“And…?”

“She said she wants to stay.”

“So?!”

“She insisted that she wants to stay.”

“Yeah, so?!  Doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about that.”

“Of course I could just send her back like that but well, why do I have to when she could help us here?  So I decided to let her.”

“Why did she want to stay?”

“She wants to protect her sister.”  Sooman looks at Kai dead in the eye.  “Cos she doesn’t trust you.”

Kai raises his eyebrows.  “Huh.”

“And I’m glad to have her on standby should things ever go wrong with Iseul.  Now, goodnight.”  Sooman finishes firmly, giving Kai his cue to leave.

Kai heads out, of Sooman’s office, and over to the elevator to go back to his level.  The HOC building was an office for the actual hotel chain itself but it also housed many of HOC’s higher ups, like Kai and his fellow Aces, and also Sooman, though he stayed at an entirely different floor.   Now, all he had to do was talk Iseul into moving in with him once more, before going over to Suho’s place to discuss an upcoming annual event that was going to be held with their brothers from China, otherwise known as EXO-M.

KAI’S POV

“Did you know that Netflix and chill is only one D away from Netflix and child?”  was the first thing I heard the second I stepped into Suho’s place. 

“Kai, help him.  He’s been going through too much weird quote textposts accounts on Instagram.”  D.O. says the second he sees me, pointing to Baekhyun who is sleeping across the couch, legs on Chanyeol’s lap, and eyes glued to his phone screen. 

“Not tonight.”  I say, dropping myself down to a very squashy and comfortable leather couch and thumped the back of my head twice.  A headache in that area would suggest that I am currently overwhelmed by fatigue or emotional stress.  Nothing wrong in that and nothing to eliminate either, to be honest.

Being a relevantly grown-up man already, I’m sure we can all agree on the fact that somehow, there is and there always will be something that stresses you out on this risky, no-stopping highway we call life. 

“Hey hey hey, I did not get that one from an Instagram account!  That was an original!”  Baekhyun wags his finger in front of his face.

“Alright, Baek, don’t you think it’s time we dropped the bomb already?  Now that Kai’s here?”  Chanyeol pats Baekhyun’s foot.

“Alrighty!  Now, everyone, listen up here.”  Baekhyun jumps to his feet, delighted to be the center of attention again.  “This has actually been a long and conflicting issue to us—hey, Chanyeol, stand up too will ya?”

“U-um, okay.  Sure.”  Chanyeol hastily gets to his feet, standing beside Baekhyun.

I raise my eyebrows.  What the hell?

“As I’ve been saying, this actually has been a long and conflicting issue to us, Chanyeol and I, but in the end we’ve decided that—“

“You guys are each other’s , right?”

Baekhyun gasps dramatically.  “You!”  he points at Suho menacingly.  “How did you know?!”

I jump up, ignoring the sharp jolt of pain at the back of my head.  “Wait—so—what?  You’re gay?  You guys are.. gay for each other?”

“Sehun?  You can give me my 1 million won now!”  D.O. calls proudly from the opposite couch, followed by a bratty wail.

“YOU GUYS BET ON US?!”  Baekhyun shrieks.

“THIS WHOLE ING THING IS REAL?” I scream.  My head, it feels like a piñata getting hit around, thwacked around blindly, on the verge of exploding.  I recalled what I’ve done today.  I don’t think I did anything draining—just a very emotionally draining meeting with Sooman regarding Iseul and Jae and whatnot, which had taken place today and yesterday.  I take a deep breath before continuing.  “I mean, I’ve always known you two were always a little goo-goo-gaga over each other but I didn’t think that it’s—like—I thought it was just a very deep and… romantic kind of bromance?”

“Technically, he’s a bit bi as well so um it was sort of just bromance in the beginning but—“

“It’s real.”  Baekhyun cuts Chanyeol off proudly. 

“So you guys are together.”  Suho asks, pointing from Baekhyun to Chanyeol, back to Baekhyun again.  “Like, together, together.”

“Yeah, together together.  Jesus, Baekhyun, did we really have to tell them?”

“Uh, duh, you moron.”

“Gee.  I love you too.”

“Anyway!”  Baekhyun claps his hands, and from that second I knew who wore the pants in this relationship.  “We just wanted to say that now that the fact has gone public already… we sincerely hope that you guys don’t treat us differently okay, like just—continue kicking our butts!  Continue doing gay to us!  We’re very open and we’re not that into monogamy—“

“WE ARE NOT?!”  Chanyeol yells furiously, and Baekhyun immediately pats his shoulder apologetically. 

“Obviously Baekhyun means we are, but just—the point is—“

“We can still continue treat you guys like ty brothers that we love in a no-homo kind of way right?  Like, just treat you guys the same right?”  D.O. cuts him off.

“Smart boy right there.  1000 points for Hufflepuff!”

“Hufflepuff?!  Hey, according to Buzzfeed I belong in Gryffindor okay?”  D.O. protests. 

“What?  You’re puffy.”  Baekhyun waves him off.  “So anyway.  There’s that.  Just thought that it’s time you guys knew.”

“One question please.”  Suho raises his hand.

“This is not a democracy.  You don’t get to vote whether it stays on or off!”

“No!  But like, how long you been secretly banging?”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange looks.  “You don’t want to know.  NEXT!”

I raise my hand.  “Yeah, just what exactly do you see in this girl, Chanyeol?” I gesture at Baekhyun who’s making I-will-kill-you gestures.  He’s definitely the girl.  He’s always wearing too much eyeliner that should be allowed for a boy.

“I see a bratty, ratty future with me in it.”  Chanyeol mutters.

I’m not sure whether to laugh or gag.  I succumb to my throbbing pain and just drop my head back on the back of the couch.

“EEEEEWWWWWW!!” Sehun cringes, wrinkling up his face.

“Alright alright.  We all knew that this was coming, sooner or later right?  Let’s all be grown-ups about this and congratulate them sincerely.”  Suho, ever the wise one, says.  “Baekhyun, Chanyeol, congratulations you idiots.”  He leans over to hug Chanyeol— before stopping dead in his tracks.  “Wait is this still allowed or—“

“Yes, grandpa, I told ya to continue doing gay to us!  Come here granddaddy!”  Baekhyun yells, pulling Suho into a hug as well. 

“Congratulation mofos.”  Sehun and D.O. yell, thumping them both on their backs.  I get up and engulf all of them in a big group hug.

“Stay together, you hear me?  I don’t want you two breaking up and suddenly a cloud of awkwardness covers the excellent team we got here, arrasso?!” I thwack both Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s head just for good measure.

"Yeah, Kai's right.  Even if you guys break up, you're still going to be working together, suffering together, stealing money together, killing people together, and kicking and kissing asses together, you got that?  You're gonna handle the break up like grown-ups."  Suho adds in.

"Yes boss!  You won't see that awkward post-breakup phase happening, we can assure you."  Chanyeol gives us a little salute. 

"Okay, now about China-"

"China?!  CHINA?!  Aren't we going to celebrate or something?!"  Baekhyun says with mock horror.  "Come on, let's order pizza!!"

"I'll do it!" Sehun bounces up from the couch to get the pizza delivery menu and the phone. 

"Yah, we're not ordering any pizza if you guys are gonna steal my card and buy 30 boxes of mozarella cheese sticks again!"  Suho yells, pointing a finger at Sehun. 

"Chill, this time they're paying."  Sehun points at Baekhyun and Chanyeol, happily dialing away.

"What?!  Fine.  FINE."  Baekhyun takes out his wallet and slaps his card in front of us all.  "Happy now, children?"

"Sehun..."  Suho starts.

"And um, make that double stuffed crust please-- yes?"

"Don't forget the 30 boxes of cheese sticks!!"

"YAAHH!!"

I'm going to die.  I swear.  Do they have to be so noisy at like 10 pm?!  Well, nearly 10.  Anyway, still.  I've had a headache ever since Sooman declared he wanted to meet Iseul and that was about 12 hours ago.  First we've had a very gay announcement (pun intended).  Then, we're fighting over an order placement at Pizza Hut and they're all squawking like a bunch of prepubescent teenage boys!

"And one chocolate float, one mango float-- wait-- D.O. you getting mango too man?  Wait, nevermind, make that two mango floats please.  Yeah.  And uh, Kai?  What do you want to drink?"

"I just want to sleeeeeep." I groan, massaging my temples.

"He said he'll have lime soda.  Okay.  Yeah.  The total is— okay.  The HOC building down at Gangnam.  You can leave it to the security guard in front.  Yeah.  Thanks."

I yawn and throw my legs on the across the sofa and lean my head back on the cushiony armrest of the sofa.  In my pocket, my phone suddenly buzzed.  Fumbling for it, I pull it out and find a text from Iseul. 

What does she want now?

I open the text. 

'Where r u?'

I type a short reply back. 

'Work.  Don't wait up.'

I'm just about to tuck my phone back in when suddenly my phone buzzes again.

'Do u want me to make u anything?  For when u get back?'

I look at it, my brows furring in confusion. 

'What are my options?'

Almost instantly, a reply lights up my phone once more.

‘Some food?  Hot chocolate?  Coffee?  You can heat them back up when you get back.’

My eyebrows shoot up.  “Hey do any of you guys reheat coffee?”  I ask the bickering men lingering all around the living room, arguing on whether they should get another pizza with cheesy bites or not.

“Reheat coffee?  Won’t that take away the beauty of freshly made coffee?”  Chanyeol asks.

“Yeah, aren’t they like…. Women?” Baekhyun seconds.  A very typical Baekhyun thing to say.

“Coffee?  Women?” I know for a fact that this will be erted—somehow—but I still can’t quite follow—

“Gotta enjoy them while they’re hot.”  Baekhyun grins mischievously. 

“Aren’t you the wisest.”  Chanyeol deadpans and Baekhyun shoots him a flirty wink.  Baekhyun is… unlike any other, really.

I send a text back. 

‘Who the reheats coffee?’

Iseul replies right away, probably now going ‘ish’ to herself right now. 

‘Fine.  Food?’ 

Two words pop back into my cell and I suddenly feel a strange force—a strange force compelling me to go back home and abandon the stacks of pizza the boys might have ordered already.  A tug of war, a battlefield of the mind—my mind—a raging mental war between pizza and whatever I could be coming home to if I came home. 

My headache was starting to spread.  I’m not made for this kind of thinking right now.  I sigh and rake my hands through my hair. 

‘Anything you wouldn’t bother sharing with me.  Be back in 20.’

Because if I don’t get fed in the next 20 minutes, I’m gonna die. 

Either way, I am going to have to be fed.  I won’t let this son of a of a headache kill me. 

With that, I lock my phone and press it back into my pocket.  Iseul is probably already jumping up to the kitchen to whip something up and I will myself as hard as I can to try not to guess.  Because sometimes guessing what she’ll do is really fun— oddly satisfying when you get it correct, refreshingly amusing when you don’t. 

“Kai!  Kai!  Are you dead?”  Sehun yells from some other room. 

I groan from my position on the sofa.  “Nearly.”

“Come on, quit being whiny and get up here.  Suho hyung has a great idea off his egg.” 

“Can I listen from here?”  I pound the back of my head with my fists again.  I always get these kind of headaches once in a while.  It’s almost like a girl’s monthly satanic waterfall.

“Suho thinks it’s a great idea for us to do Stupid Cupid again this year!”

“And this time, we will be buying each other civilized gifts this year because guess who’ll be joining us this year?”  Suho says, emphasizing the words ‘this year’ as he looks over at me from the bar stool he was sitting at. 

“No ing way.”  I narrow my eyes. 

“Why not?!” 

“You guys are going to conspire against me and make me her stupid cupid!  Then you, Baekhyun, are probably going to throw out whatever ridiculous crap I end up buying her and replace it for like, I don’t know, a bikini, or a lacey set from Agent Provocateur, or God forbid, a diamond ring!!”

Baekhyun howls like a hyena high on ecstasy. 

“You know me too well for your own good Kai.”

I sigh and shake my head.  These idiots are hopeless. 

“Where’s the ing fooooood???” I groan, kicking my legs.

“Jesus, it’s only been 5 minutes Kai.  We don’t whip pizza out of our asses.”

I groan again.  I am an insufferable human being.  

“So??  What do you say?  Stupid cupid, yes or no?”

“Budget?” I ask.

This starts another argument that I can’t be bothered to join. 

“Why decide now, anyway?  February is still like another month away!”

“Time flies faster than you imagine, you know!”

I sigh irritably again and look at the clock.  10 minutes.  I admit that this isn’t fair.  By now, going back to Iseul seems to be winning.

“Can’t we just talk about China?”  I moan-yell again from my place on the couch, still not budging.

“What’s there to talk about?  I’ll tell EXO-M we’re coming over in a few.” 

“Where’s the conference gonna be this year?”

“Like, China?  Duh.”

“Why can’t we go somewhere different once in a while?  It’s gonna be fun!”  I whine, my head clouding over my rational judgement on how to act.  “Like Hong Kong!”

“Why Hong Kong?”

“Cos it’s still China-y so no one can argue with that, there’s a lot of clubs and the street food is great.”  I shrug.  “Plus Jongguk has been wanting to go to Disneyland.”

D.O. throws a pillow at me.  “Let’s just talk about all that heavy matter when the food comes.  Or maybe like, tomorrow.  I’m beat.  You’ve been so busy with your uncle and your girlfriend—you don’t know the pains of running into some man- from Russia who tried to hijack one of our carrier yacht!”

“What?” I focus for a while.  Narrowing my eyes, I add, “And I do not have a girlfriend, stupid.”

“I don’t know.  Just a couple of local gangsters.  Nothing threatening.”

“You’ve checked?”

The wide-eyed boy side-eyed me.  “Dude, of course.  We might seem like a bunch of morons here with no prospect for college or even a wife, but I know what I’m doing.  I’m not stupid.”

“That’s a relief.”  I mumble, sinking back to the cushions.  Where the is the food already?!

15 minutes.  I really should just start making my way back already.

“I didn’t know there was a Russian gang in Korea.”  I muse, mostly to myself cos all the other boys are busy doing whatever they were on Suho’s laptop.

“There’s not one now.” D.O. shrugs.

“You killed them?”

“Sorta?”

“How many?”

“Just a small one of 3.”  D.O. answers, looking at his phone.  “I don’t think they were even a gang.  Well, if they were working for someone, whoever sent them must already got the message not to mess with us.”

“Vladimir Putin is hot on your , my boy.”

D.O. grins and shrugs merrily, showing that he does not care in the least.  “He’s got ISIS to worry about, hasn’t he?”

I snort a little half-hearted agreement snort and drum my fingers on my stomach, willing it not to give up on me now.  I’ll probably just wait a little longer.  I want PIZZA!

“When is the ing food coming?”  I yell, sliding off the couch in a very sloth-like manner I am glad no one noticed.  Walking over to where the boys are currently huddled at—the center of the living room where Suho has placed a huge fluffy rug and an impressive amount of beanbags and pillows for everyone to just crash into, with a low circular table on the middle of it all.  It’s like the World Crash Center.  The rug is like an island in the middle of the living room, and the couch I’m currently slouched across is placed right on the other edges of the couch, on the cool marble floor.  There’s one on each  side of the huge square rug, making it seem like boats surrounding the island. 

“Not in this lifetime!”

“URGH!”  I groan and pull myself up, striding straight for the door.  Nope.  I’m out.  I’m OUT!  This stomach right here demands to be fed right now!

“Hey!  Where are you going?” Baekhyun yells after me.

“I need food.”

“What the ?  There’s like enough pizza to feed all the people in China coming in about 15 minutes tops!”

“That’s the thing about hunger.  It demands to be felt!”  I yell, putting on my shoes.

“Wow.  Okay, who was that?  Shakespeare?”

“Nope.  Socrates!”  I yell, before disappearing behind the door. 

It’s just 3 strides from Suho’s place to mine, since we all live on the same level, so I enter my unit 2 seconds later and walk into the living room just in time to see Iseul dashing to the dining table with two pairs of fork and spoon.  Her hair is tied up, which is rare, and loose strands of brown hair fall around her face as she sets them down on the table. 

“Oh!  You’re certainly on time.”  She exclaims in shock as soon as she realizes my presence.

“I’m going to die if I’m not fed properly in the next ten seconds.”  I declare, and she looks at me skeptically. 

“Well I hope you’re not serious because all I’ve got here for us is ramen.”

“RAMEN?!”  I scream, feeling the pain stab the back of my skull again.  I traded pizza and mozzarella sticks and juicy chicken wings and a mango ing float for RAMEN?!

“With cheese and eggs if it helps.”  She shrugs.

“CHEESE?!”  In my head I picture a miserable, soggy slice of Kraft’s Singles floating on top of the soup of noodles and I can only pray to every deity that this impression I have is wrong.

“What?”  Iseul shoots me a mildly annoyed glance.  “Stop complaining before you try it!”

“Why ramen?!”  I squawk as I sit down in front one of the bowls.

“Why not?!”

“I gave you twenty minutes!  You don’t take 20 minutes to make ramen!”

“I made two!” She counters defensively, like that’s a huge point that makes a worldly difference. 

“Jesus.”  I sigh, mixing together the ramen.

“If you don’t want it so badly, give it to me!  I can gladly eat two!  Cheese with ramen is a delicious combination, you know?”

I mumble something along the lines of ‘no’ and ‘it’s okay’ and ‘fine fine’ and begin eating sullenly.

“I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while, that’s why.”  She explains, digging into her own bowl.  She shrugs.  “I’ll go tomorrow.”

Again I answer her with an incoherent reply.  A drunken crossover of ‘you don’t really have to’ and ‘okay sure’. 

It only takes 3 mouthfuls of Iseul’s weird concoction here to make me trust Iseul with my food for the rest of my life.  This, surprisingly but unsurprisingly enough, is definitely what you give a five-star review on.

“You like it!”  Iseul jabs a finger at the air in front of me, pointing at me gleefully. 

“I’m just hungry.”  I answer coldly.  Right after the words come out, I realize that I have a problem— my brain has this astonishing ability to make send mixed signals to my mouth and make it say the exact opposite of what I actually mean.

“Whatever.”  Iseul makes a face and resumes eating.

“What did you use in this anyway?”  Again, I made it sound like this is the worst meal I’ve had in my life.

“Shim Ramyeon with Kraft Quickmelt cheese and half-done eggs.”  She shrugs.  “Got it from Youtube.”

“Youtube?”  I echo, apparently sounding so bewildered she looks up at me, square in the eye.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of cooking tutorials out there on Youtube.”

“It’s not just songs and music videos?”  I ask again, and immediately regret doing so.  Iseul’s eyes grow as wide as saucers.

“Kai, where have you been?!” 

I resist the urge to reply with “fighting dude after dude and making a fortune out of their deaths for myself.”

“I knew you were someone from my mom’s generation.”  She shakes her head.  “Here.  Let me enlighten you a bit on the 21st century life.”  She opens the Youtube app on her phone and shows it to me. 

“I don’t know during which century you last opened Youtube, but!”  She scrolls down.  “Now there’s A LOT.  There are music